Can't Maintain Weight

Tlwozniak2019

I have not been able to maintain my weight since my teens...I can lose it, but an amount always comes back and I am on the "diet" again. Any suggestions?

SuzySunshine99

The changes that you make when you are on the "diet" need to be changes that you can sustain for the rest of your life. The likely reason that you regain weight is that you go back to your "normal" eating habits after reaching your weight goal.

For me, there was very little calorie difference between losing weight slowly and maintaining my weight. I had to make permanent changes to my diet in order to maintain the loss.

For these reasons, you have to make changes that do not make you miserable. That means including the foods that you love (in moderation) and frankly, always being mindful of calorie intake.

I think the biggest mistake people make is over-restricting and denying themselves any enjoyment in their way of eating.

Figure out what changes you can make that will help you lose weight, but you also feel good about keeping up permanently. There is no end date for weight management.

vivmom2014

Relax. You'll be at this for the rest of your life, so don't turn it into some kind of punishment that you endure for a short time and then revert right back to "the old ways." Find a calorie goal that isn't punitive. Add some pleasant movement -- doesn't have to be a formal workout. Walk, garden, bike ride. As your body gains fitness, you may want to add formal workouts. Lift heavier and heavier things.

And eat food you enjoy. Give it loads of time. When you reach a point that you're feeling fit and healthy, focus on a weight range and not a specific number.

Hiawassee88

Tlwozniak2019 wrote: »

I have not been able to maintain my weight since my teens...I can lose it, but an amount always comes back and I am on the "diet" again. Any suggestions?

Stop dieting.

Stress is one of the biggest drivers for rebound weight gain. Many have struggled through multiple iterations of dieting/rebound weight gain cycles. Another cut and dried, eat less plan is rarely the answer. Try flipping the switch.

Focus on being different instead of looking different. The mirror and scale are only two data points. They're not always a reliable guide for stress levels. If anyone has been chasing weight loss for months, years, decades by dieting, there's a good chance that more dieting will not make things better.

Camaraderie in that struggling can only do so much. Stop dieting. Sit with your food, and learn how to moderate your portions. Your foods are yours alone. Don't get trapped into someone else's meal plans. It won't last. You will return to your foods.

Make them work for you, instead of against you. There is no beginning and end. No Start and No Finish Line.
Put it in gear, and go forward. One hour, one day at a time.

AnnPT77

Tlwozniak2019 wrote: »

I have not been able to maintain my weight since my teens...I can lose it, but an amount always comes back and I am on the "diet" again. Any suggestions?

I wish you'd been more specific. I'm concerned that you might be over-concerned about some effects that are very normal and to be expected, but I'm not sure.

Therefore, I want to underscore one thing @vivmom2014 said in her overall excellent post above, which was full of good advice: Maintenance is a weight range, not a single exact weight. Plan on that happening, then actively manage it.

When we lose weight, one of the first consequences is that our body depletes a bit of our glycogen stores. (Glycogen is one form in which our body stores energy for quicker access, loosely.) Glycogen is stored with water. Therefore, when our glycogen stores decrease, we drop some water weight.

That water weight will come back once we start eating at maintenance calories, so there'll probably be a quick jump on the scale of a pound or two, possibly a little more. It isn't body fat, so it's not worth fretting over. Water weight fluctuations are part of how a healthy body stays healthy, and it knows what it's doing, so we don't want to try to defeat that.

On top of that, many people eat a smaller volume of food when they cut calories, and food waste has weight until it leaves the body. A glass of water has zero calories, but a pint of it weighs about a pound in the glass, and a pound in my stomach until it becomes part of sweat, urine, exhaled moisture or whatever. Same with the water/fiber in an apple.

If we have a lower average amount of food in our digestive tract while dieting, that also shows up on the scale in a lighter average weight. That, too, can come back and add to a scale jump quickly when we go to maintenance calories. And it also isn't fat, so isn't worth fretting over.

When you lose weight, plan a maintenance range of maybe plus or minus 2-3 pounds around your goal weight - more, if you want. If you've noticed how much your scale weight can meaninglessly jump up and down from one day to the next, set the range a little wider than that.

When you lose, consider getting down to the bottom end of that range before increasing to maintenance calories. Expect a small scale jump within a day or two after you go to maintenance calories (though it could show up more slowly if you gradually increase calories in small increments). If you picked your range well, the scale jump will leave you inside your range.

Then, keep eating and being active in sensible way, averaging around your maintenance calorie needs, and keeping up your similar activity level. Keep an eye on the scale, but don't obsess.

If your weight gradually creeps up over the top end of your maintenance range, and stays there for more than a day or two, cut back a little on eating until it gradually creeps back down to the lower end of your maintenance range again. At that point, add back a little of what you cut out, but not all the way to the eating level that created the gain.

Keep going like that. That's maintenance, pretty much.

momlongerwalk

Adding that it's better to maintain a weight than yo-yo. Maybe lose a little, keep it there, lose a little, as you ingrain the forever habits explained above.

Maya440

Hi Tlwozniak2019

I have been in the same team for long: either on a diet or gaining weight. I have also binged a lot because restricting way too much.

It is now some weeks I have decided to stop restricting, accepting myself and just maintaining my healthy weight without trying to be a super model ! I will be 40 this year so it's time.

I was very scared at first (I gained 2 kilos the first 2 months) but now it is 4 weeks that I stay between 67 & 68kg and I eat a lot. I also had only 2 small binge episodes in the last 4 weeks which is really great. Lots of healthy food but also joy foods. This is liberating.

I still have days where I find myself not beautiful enough, that my brains tries to have me restrict again but... no I know that is not a good idea.

If you'd like to we could support each other while we learn to love ourselves et be healthy ? Iam looking for a buddy when I feel like talking about this.

rosiekin

I was a yo-yo dieter from the age of about 19 to 52, losing and then regaining stones on multiple occasions. I was either 100% on a diet or 100% off. During that time, I attended various slimming clubs and tried different diets. Whenever I got to goal, it didn’t take me long to revert back to my old eating habits, and the weight, and often a bit more, piled back on. By 2014, I was the heaviest I’d ever been, and was beginning to have some weight related health problems, so I decided things needed to change and I knew I had to try something different. My different, and I totally accept it isn’t for everyone, was to abstain from, not moderate, my intake of certain foods, i.e. basically sweets/chocolate, cakes, biscuits and ice cream. To begin with, it was a bit of a novelty and I just took it one day at a time, but as time went on, it just became the new norm for me, and quite honestly, probably the best decision I’ve ever made! Eeek (🤣), that sounds a bit extreme but as I’m 7 stones+ lighter, and have successfully maintained my weight since 2015, I’ve never once regretted my decision. I never say never, but at this particular time in my life, I choose to continue abstaining from these foods.

Hopefully you’ll find out what works best for you. Good luck.

Maya440

I find it great that you can do that. I would love to ! But I tried a similar approach (with healthy Emmie if you know her program) and for me that was cognitive restriction (even if I was not hungry and could eat other foods) and it triggered binging.
Now I try to eat everything I want but in moderation. Some days it goes well some days not so well.
Today was not a particularly good day, I ate almost 700kcal of chocolate spread and cereals (in 3 times not in once). It is not a binge but... well it is not how I want to eat. The rest of the food I ate today was healthy and balanced. I am learning. I hope by not restricting too much I will start craving less of this kind of food...

cwolfman13

What is "an amount always comes back"? What amount? To some extent, that is completely normal. When you come out of a calorie deficit and eat more calories and consume more food in general you will have an increase in body water composition (water has mass and thus weight) as well as more food and inherent waste in your digestive track (also has mass and thus weight). When I first lost weight, I dropped down to around 178...but my average maintenance is around 183 due to what I mentioned above...it also can fluctuate from that average up or down very easily a few pounds day to day due to that composition mentioned.

The scale doesn't just weigh fat

Maya440

Yes I agree. I started maintenance in February but took 2kg before stabilizing. You have to know it to avoid panic !!

Pdc654

SuzySunshine99 wrote: »

The changes that you make when you are on the "diet" need to be changes that you can sustain for the rest of your life. The likely reason that you regain weight is that you go back to your "normal" eating habits after reaching your weight goal.

For me, there was very little calorie difference between losing weight slowly and maintaining my weight. I had to make permanent changes to my diet in order to maintain the loss.

For these reasons, you have to make changes that do not make you miserable. That means including the foods that you love (in moderation) and frankly, always being mindful of calorie intake.

I think the biggest mistake people make is over-restricting and denying themselves any enjoyment in their way of eating.

Figure out what changes you can make that will help you lose weight, but you also feel good about keeping up permanently. There is no end date for weight management.

I agree with this 100%.

nxd10

I am just going to agree with what everyone said. This is a long term lifetime thing. Most people can lose weight on a diet but regain their weight. The hard part is integrating healthy eating and activity into your life so you can maintain a weight that is healthy for you.

The research on maintenance says that while calorie restriction is the most important thing for losing weight, it's exercise that keeps it off. Like an hour or so of walking a day. That is a lot. You have to integrate into things - at least I do. Walking at lunch. Walking after dinner. Otherwise, no matter how little I eat, the weight will always creep back.

Hiawassee88

Generally speaking here, I don't believe in before and after photos. I threw every before photo into the trash. I don't want to hold myself up to a negative standard. Ooo, look. You've eaten yourself UP to your highest weight. Now, let's take a photo so it will go down into history.

I'm not going into any plan like that, and I'm not going out like that. My family believes that if you go into great detail telling others how you're going to go about reaching any goal, it disperses your energy into a million different particles. It's like a dust scattering into the sunlight. Your laser focus just went out the window.

We work in silence and let our passion, desire, determination, focus drive us to our goals. No after photos. Can't get too big for your britches, so to speak. Your mind will start to coast. You've accomplished everything. Now, you can rest and relax.

There's no beginning or end. No start or finish. No befores and no afters, they can easily become a disconnect for the brain. Let the afters take care of themselves, when I'm gone. Really gone. Taking a dirt nap.

Until then, it's pedal to metal. Don't take your foot off the gas. Momentum is everything. Motivation wanes and runs out, it's a limited resource. No one can do any of this for you.

MadisonMolly2017

You have gotten great advice here.

I have done most of the things mentioned.

I verrrry slowly changed my eating habits. “Fooled my brain”

As I maintained year after year, I found I had really changed … don’t like being overly full…realized salty foods make me crave sweets…and boosts my mouth hunger …switched my 10K steps to glorious art-hikes in nature, which I love…realized what a normal serving is…began to “hear”my true hunger & which were absent the rest of my life…learned tons about macros/micros & the need for me to avoid processed foods due to an autoimmune disease…weighed every day “as data.”

If you had told me I’d maintain for almost 5 years when I began my maintenance journey 8-26-18, I would have cried tears of joy.

Other than my marriage & son, I’ve realized recently, that maintaining my weight & 10K steps daily are my Greatest Achievement. Yes, I had a couple of successful careers, but this was the thing I couldn’t seem to do: Maintain My Weight Loss.

One last thing, along the way, I realized how my being 70lbs over a normal weight & inactive for much of my life had negatively impacted my Loved Ones. This boosts my resolve if it ever wanes. They no longer have to worry about me.

You CAN do this. Take a multi-year, gradual approach. #NeverGiveUp

springlering62

One of the simplest, most effective pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten here:

Live every day like you still have ten pounds to lose.

westrich20940

Are you trying to maintain a weight that is too low for you? Sometimes people choose an inappropriate goal weight....you can lose weight and get down to it, but if you can't stay there without restricting all the time...it might not be the weight for you.

Mark031111

shift your focus from diets to sustainable changes. Create a balanced eating plan with regular enjoyable exercise. Practice mindful eating and seek professional guidance if needed

ninerbuff

OP never responded back. Wonder if she's still struggling.

DON'T DIET. Find a way of eating that you can maintain weight and stick with it. Sometimes there's trial and error and most of the time there will more error, but it can be figured out.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

VictorSmashes

I feel you OP. For at least the last ~13 years I’ve been up and down almost 70 lbs. Reading the advice is gut-wrenching. It doesn’t make it any less true, unfortunately. Due to childhood foolishness and neglect (and unknown disability at the time), my ability has been a downward slope this entire weight loss journey. So I’m sending you and everyone in here seeking advice some hope and hugs. It’s against nature for this to be easy and disorders and disabilities definitely don’t help! Genuinely I came onto the forums to vent about this struggle that a lot of people deal with!