Switching to Maintenance. My Struggles. Any advice?

IronAndrew

As I mentioned in my other post in losing 143 pounds down from 331 pounds back in May 17 of 2022 ( down from above my second heaviest 360 pounds back in September of 2021 and my all time heaviest almost 370 back in May of 2017) down to below 188 pounds I anticipated issues with maintenance and I've encountered them.

I started at 331 pounds and I made it first to my original stopping point of 198 (I'm 6'1 and have a larger frame) before going past 192 pounds (the official acceptable BMI) to 188 and stopping there. Or so I thought.

The first week I was 188 pounds coincided with the end of easter candy sales in my area. As I overindulged in a bit too many cadbury eggs over the next two days I overcorrected by both continuing my daily strength training and my cardio/walking regiment to prevent gain and instead of maintaining ended up at a little under 187 at 186.8. Well I figured the next week I'll just eat what I was eating during my loss without any of garbage food and see what happens. I work in healthcare providing activities and enrichment to seniors with dementia so either food before my loss or exercise itself is my way of reducing my stress and anxiety after work. This translated to 2-3 hour walks plus another hour of cardio on top of my 15-30 minutes of strength training in the morning. I also hike usually once a week for about 1-2 hours. Sometimes twice. Sometimes longer like 2-4 hours.

Well the next week with the dual hiking and exercise I messed up again as I went to go get apples at an orchard that happened to have a bakery. I got this wonderful chocolate cake that had chocolate frosting, chocolate (of course!), chocolate pudding and chocolate crunchies all for an estimated 500-800 calories a SLICE. I kept active though and actually gave away or let half the cake go bad before I'd eat more (a waste I know) rather than consume the rest. I still did eat about 3 and a half slices of it over 2 days though. The rest of the week I went back to my "loss" eating habits. Instead of me maintaining at 188 pounds or even 187 I somehow ended up under 185 (a little under at 184.8 as of this writing).

Now I almost feel like I need to gain weight to get back up to 188 pounds but I feel like I'm getting caught up in a vicious cycle of sorts. I should be sticking to eating sensibly and doing my weekly tuesday group hikes for an hour to 1 hour fifteen minutes with my occasional solo or second group hike which runs 1-4 hours or so depending. the other two out of the four days I should only be walking 30-45 minutes instead of the 3-4 hours I find myself doing to "correct" on either the day I mess up or to make up for the other days. I haven't gained weight back I'm actually at a net loss (which is kinda good but a failure as I should be maintaining not losing anymore). I have to stop overcorrecting and burning extra calories to lose weight by not eating in the first place.

I haven't gained any weight I've actually lost it as I've said but I need to start maintaining and stop. Some people have been saying I need to stop and my face is becoming too narrow although I don't see it. The fact is that I haven't transistioned to maintenance well. I overindulged then react by overcorrecting lose the weight and then some and overindulge again. Just this morning I had chocolate chip pancakes for example. I've noticed my energy levels sometimes dropping off in the afternoon at work or if I run a lot of errands on my days off. Usually this happens if I eat a larger breakfast and then a not as large lunch but sometimes even with the reverse it happens. In both instances I usually have an apple for both to keep me full but maybe it's spiking my blood sugar?

Maybe part of this was due to me being so strict with myself for about a year and I need to be more careful as I loosen restrictions. I feel like I've only managed not to gain the weight back because I overcorrect but I'm definitely getting caught up in an overindulging/overcorrection cycle. That's not what I want.

Anyone else have experience with this and any tips on how to break out of it? I've got things coming up on the horizon career wise and need my focus to be on that. Plus I'm worried I might be developing "something" by doing this overcorrecting,

Maybe deep down I want to lose more weight and I'm not truly ready for maintenance for that reason? I had thought about pushing to under 180 to 170 pounds as a joke to myself but I'm not sure how I'd look like that at 6'1 with my frame. Even if I did that I think I'd still have this issue.

I definitely don't think I want to be under 180 though and I think I should stop it now that I'm 184.8/185 pounds.

Has anyone else gone through something like this after they lose the weight? I really just want to move on with things so I can setup my new eating/exercise routine and let it do its thing without too much thought.

keash123

I enjoyed reading your story. I have fluctuated my weight my whole life. At 5'4" my heaviest was a little over 150. I am now 127. But 3 years ago I started getting back in shape again. Started keto again, joined the gym, started working out 3 days a week. I used mfp for calories and macros counting. I got down to 117, then my goal weight was 119 so I would eat what I wanted or binge on sweets. I have since gained 8 pounds in a little over a year. In the past 3 months I have gained most of it. Not huge, but huge to me. I was able to maintain and even splurge for so long that now I am losing ground. I got back on mfp, and ate 41/2 cookies on Sunday at 150 calories each. So yesterday I only ate barely 800 calories. I am planning to weigh every morning, continue working out 3 days a week, and eating mindfully. Meditation may help you, and writing about your journey with your weight. I know I haven't lost as much as you, but my struggle is real. Good luck to you!!

cmriverside

Yeah, I think you're waay over-thinking this and trying too hard to make everything perfect.

I had a bit of a struggle transitioning to Maintenance, but I think you need to give yourself a range of like 5-7 pounds, not keep trying to work the exact numbers.

You're at a healthy weight. Have some cake. Have some chocolate eggs. That's what you'll be doing for the rest of your life, so making a huge deal out of it is going to be crazy-making.

Relax a little, not a lot. Give yourself a range.

With that said, the first year of post weight-loss was pretty volatile for me. I had some 10 pound weight swings and struggled to find the balance. It does get easier, just stay in your range, and try not to obsess. :flowerforyou:

AnnPT77

I'm with Riverside: It's not unusual to be over-anxious in the early stages of maintenance, so sure, other people have experiences like yours. They may or may not think of them in exactly the same way.

It sounds like you recently ate some not very nutrient dense but very tasty foods, still maintained your weight in a acceptable range (maybe in part by anxiously over-exercising or over-restricting at other times a little bit, but you did it), and along the way figured out that some eating schedules or food choices make you feel a little better or a little worse afterward physically (as in satiation among other things).

And then you worried about it all a whole bunch.

You maintained. That's good. You worried a lot. That's completely optional. It doesn't burn extra calories. It feels icky. Why do it?

Take a few deep breaths. Think about including some moderate treats in your eating patterns on a sensible frequency. Don't freak out if you over-indulge hugely on a very rare occasional (it's a drop in the ocean of life), just learn from it. Notice that you are actually maintaining (or maybe even undesirably still losing, but you can fix that . . . maybe even with some planned in moderate chocolate treats).

Now, just kind of work on the psychological side of it. You have control over that, too.

Adjust your plans toward moderation. Keep your weight in a range, mostly using gradual changes in routine, not panic actions. It'll be OK, really.

I had a phase last week that was like a toddler tantrum, I swear. I think I had whole 12-14" pizzas all by myself three times (with beer) in roughly a week, and that's not all. I'm in year 7 of maintaining a healthy weight, 131 point something pounds this morning, pretty close to where I was before the pizza explosion. Clearly, I need to not do that every week, but I'm not profoundly worried as long as it's truly rare. It's not how I usually eat. It's not going to throw me out of maintenance because of some magical evil spell. I may be up a pound or so, we'll see, but if I am I know what to do about that.

Maintenance is just figuring out how to live a reasonably, happy balanced life, while eating around the right number of calories . . . on average, over a period of time.

IronAndrew

Thanks to everyone for your responses thus far!

To give a little more insight into my line of thinking and anxiety with this phase I'll share this bit of background information. Many years ago I used to drink soda. I noticed I was drinking 2-3 cans of soda a day and then it was 4 and sometimes more. When it got to that point I gave it up for a year in hopes I could reset things. After making it a year and cautiously trying it again I ended up drinking 1-2 at most for the first three months before I was averaging 4-6 a day. Prior to that I had given it up again for half a year with similar results. At that point I was starting my first very serious weight loss attempt. I gave up soda first as I came to the conclusion I couldn't drink it in moderation. I believed and still do that I have a problem with it and the only solution was complete abstinence from it. These days I drink flavored seltzer water or regular water. Apart from the occasional apple cider/juice/milk/cocoa and of course plain coffee (I put NOTHING in mine [it's not for everyone but once I got used to drinking it that way I didn't go back]). My weight and teeth thanked me for it.

Similarly with the weight I remember when I first started in late May of 2017 and lost around 90 pounds only to see most of it come back after I went back to college in February of 2019 steadily gaining more and more of it back until I noticed I gained it all back minus maybe 10 pounds in September of 2021. I then adopted a stricter regimen of calorie control and exercise to push it down from around 370 pounds to 331 until after my final exams ended the following semester I decided to go all out and push to the very end from 331 all the way to 188. The issue was I ended up at 183.8 pounds averaging to about 184-185 as of this writing today as I overcorrected with the exercise to overcompensate for those pieces of cadbury eggs or pieces of chocolate cake.

Just like with the soda example I wonder if there are certain things I will have to abstain from for like. While I'm not really a candy person usually I loved (and still sort of do) love chocolate and can't see myself banning that from my diet forever. Same with pizza, pasta and most carbs.

My hope is after two weeks with minimal fluctuations of a pound to three pounds at most my body will "adjust" to my new weight or rather weight range and I can set and forget my exercise/calorie routine and just exercise and restrict if I start to overindulge during the holidays or something similar. I've already made my peace with being in a weight range rather than around an exact number. Anywhere from 183 to 190 pounds will be fine I think. The question is that realistic or should I expect more fluctuations than that?

I've used and continue to use exercise now instead of food for the stress and anxiety component in my life (I work in a nursing home providing enrichment and general activities for elderly residents with dementia, as you can imagine some days are tougher than others although I get plenty of exercise and steps there before I even get home) as there was a time I'd consume a whole pizza/pint of ice cream/pasta dish if it got out of control. Especially when I had classes on top of work and it before a major project or during studying/right before final exams. I don't do that anymore. I had the cadbury eggs purely because I was curious what they tasted like (I always got the regular ones this was the first time I tried the caramel and chocolate ones: verdict it caramel was the best, reese's and oreo ones were pretty good too) as they are usually only around during Easter time and because the chocolate cake was a limited time thing as well. I think there's still a mental component to this though. I'll have to deal with that but for now I want to deal with the physical component of it or at least know what to expect about it. How much weight fluctuations is normal for example.

I get the sense I should ease up on what I allow myself to eat and stop monitoring my caloric intake but when I stopped monitoring my caloric intake before was part of why I believe I gained. I have the anxiety piece mitigated by exercise satisfying that but I still think I should monitor my calories for another three weeks before I stop that.

At the very least I'll ease up for now as what how much I allow myself to eat as I'm still eating at my "burn rate" rather than my "maintenance rate" for caloric intake. That's probably resulting in why I still feel so shaky in the afternoon. And why I keep going down in weight.

I'm just so nervous about loosening the reigns. I gained it all back before. That also happened to my best friend too.

Still I'll allow myself just shy of 100 calories within the upper limit of the maintenance caloric range and monitor how that works for the next three weeks. If I don't see any fluctuations over the range I mentioned (183-190) then it's finally time to stop monitoring caloric intake apart from occasionally checking in once or twice monthly otherwise it's time to fully let go.

Is that a realistic plan?

AnnPT77

IronAndrew wrote: »

Thanks to everyone for your responses thus far!

To give a little more insight into my line of thinking and anxiety with this phase I'll share this bit of background information. Many years ago I used to drink soda. I noticed I was drinking 2-3 cans of soda a day and then it was 4 and sometimes more. When it got to that point I gave it up for a year in hopes I could reset things. After making it a year and cautiously trying it again I ended up drinking 1-2 at most for the first three months before I was averaging 4-6 a day. Prior to that I had given it up again for half a year with similar results. At that point I was starting my first very serious weight loss attempt. I gave up soda first as I came to the conclusion I couldn't drink it in moderation. I believed and still do that I have a problem with it and the only solution was complete abstinence from it. These days I drink flavored seltzer water or regular water. Apart from the occasional apple cider/juice/milk/cocoa and of course plain coffee (I put NOTHING in mine [it's not for everyone but once I got used to drinking it that way I didn't go back]). My weight and teeth thanked me for it.

Similarly with the weight I remember when I first started in late May of 2017 and lost around 90 pounds only to see most of it come back after I went back to college in February of 2019 steadily gaining more and more of it back until I noticed I gained it all back minus maybe 10 pounds in September of 2021. I then adopted a stricter regimen of calorie control and exercise to push it down from around 370 pounds to 331 until after my final exams ended the following semester I decided to go all out and push to the very end from 331 all the way to 188. The issue was I ended up at 183.8 pounds averaging to about 184-185 as of this writing today as I overcorrected with the exercise to overcompensate for those pieces of cadbury eggs or pieces of chocolate cake.

Just like with the soda example I wonder if there are certain things I will have to abstain from for like. While I'm not really a candy person usually I loved (and still sort of do) love chocolate and can't see myself banning that from my diet forever. Same with pizza, pasta and most carbs.

I don't think anyone other than you can answer that "what to ban forever" or "what can/can't I moderate" question. Reading posts here for going on 8 years, I think the answers are personal and idiosyncratic.

I do see people make broad-brush statements ("I must eliminate all added sugar" kind of thing). I'll take them at face value, mostly, but also see people make more nuanced statements.

For myself, I don't have stupid-uncontrollable cravings for calorie-dense but nutrient-sparse treats (sweet baked goods, candy) as long as I eat enough fruit. (Weird, maybe.) I can moderate those treat foods, and now I tend to be quite selective, going for whatever I personally define as the "good stuff" - such as higher quality chocolate, homemade baked goods.

There are foods or situations that are harder for me to moderate. Pizza and potlucks fall in that category. If I'm alone, and order a pizza (within certain size limitations), I'm eating the whole pizza. Sometimes I do that, but I avoid doing it often. If I go out with someone and they'll share a pizza with me, that works better, so sometimes I do that (if I can without bullying someone into my ordering preferences. ). I've figured out that potlucks are rare enough in my life that I don't need to freak out about those. I usually eat more than my usual, try to keep it non-crazy, and let it go.

Some of that is IMO experiential and experimental. I pick my battles with myself, and it's clearly the day in and day out common patterns that are the big factor, not the rare splurges. It took time to get there, psychologically. Not obsessing or beating myself up about things makes me - maybe perversely - handle things better, generally.

My hope is after two weeks with minimal fluctuations of a pound to three pounds at most my body will "adjust" to my new weight or rather weight range and I can set and forget my exercise/calorie routine and just exercise and restrict if I start to overindulge during the holidays or something similar. I've already made my peace with being in a weight range rather than around an exact number. Anywhere from 183 to 190 pounds will be fine I think. The question is that realistic or should I expect more fluctuations than that?

What I usually suggest to people is that if they weigh daily (under consistent conditions), they'll have an idea of their personal range of day to day random weight fluctuation. I suggest that the range be plus and minus that many pounds from the center of the goal weight range, plus a little. Then, if they go above that weight for more than a couple/few days in a row, it's time to cut back on eating a little, or add a little movement, to creep weight back down gradually. Same on the low end, except eat more/move less as the options.

Is that what I do myself? No. I'm not that disciplined. Yeah, I loosely try to stay in a narrow range, but my real guard rails are how my jeans fit. I totally hate to clothes shop. The worst thing about weight loss, for me, was having to buy all new clothes. So, if my jeans start to get a little snug (with Winter long johns in play), then I will cut back . . . a little, to creep my weight back down gradually.

So that's idiosyncratic, too. But it's worked for 7+ years so far.

I've used and continue to use exercise now instead of food for the stress and anxiety component in my life (I work in a nursing home providing enrichment and general activities for elderly residents with dementia, as you can imagine some days are tougher than others although I get plenty of exercise and steps there before I even get home) as there was a time I'd consume a whole pizza/pint of ice cream/pasta dish if it got out of control. Especially when I had classes on top of work and it before a major project or during studying/right before final exams. I don't do that anymore. I had the cadbury eggs purely because I was curious what they tasted like (I always got the regular ones this was the first time I tried the caramel and chocolate ones: verdict it caramel was the best, reese's and oreo ones were pretty good too) as they are usually only around during Easter time and because the chocolate cake was a limited time thing as well. I think there's still a mental component to this though. I'll have to deal with that but for now I want to deal with the physical component of it or at least know what to expect about it. How much weight fluctuations is normal for example.

I like the caramel ones, too. I don't buy them very often anymore. If I buy them, I don't buy a multi-pack. Sometimes a friend gives me one, and I'll eat it.

I suspect it's mostly mental. Mindset even affects our appetite/hunger hormone levels, surprisingly.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21574706/

Like Yogi Berra (maybe) said: 90% of the game is half mental.

I get the sense I should ease up on what I allow myself to eat and stop monitoring my caloric intake but when I stopped monitoring my caloric intake before was part of why I believe I gained. I have the anxiety piece mitigated by exercise satisfying that but I still think I should monitor my calories for another three weeks before I stop that.

At the very least I'll ease up for now as what how much I allow myself to eat as I'm still eating at my "burn rate" rather than my "maintenance rate" for caloric intake. That's probably resulting in why I still feel so shaky in the afternoon. And why I keep going down in weight.

If you're feeling shaky in the afternoon, definitely eat more (if losing) or (if not losing) change the timing of what you eat. Shakiness is a bad sign.

Some people stop calorie counting in maintenance, some don't. You can figure out what works for you.

Me, I counted like it was religion, every day during loss and the early part of maintenance. The practice of counting doesn't feel anxious or obsessive to me, just routine - like brushing my teeth or something. I still log most days now, but not every day. It doesn't take much time, and seems like a small price to pay to stay at a healthy weight. As a hedonist by nature, I want to eat every calorie I've earned, and still maintain my weight. If I didn't count, I'd be more anxious, personally, not less . . . and would possibly leave some yummy calories uneaten that I could've eaten and still maintained. I wouldn't like that.

Maybe eventually I'll stop counting, but so far that's not what works for me.

I'm just so nervous about loosening the reigns. I gained it all back before. That also happened to my best friend too.

Still I'll allow myself just shy of 100 calories within the upper limit of the maintenance caloric range and monitor how that works for the next three weeks. If I don't see any fluctuations over the range I mentioned (183-190) then it's finally time to stop monitoring caloric intake apart from occasionally checking in once or twice monthly otherwise it's time to fully let go.

Is that a realistic plan?

Most of us have gained and lost before, probably. In my mind, it's the ignoring what's happening (denial?) that's the problem. A person who keeps weighing, and takes corrective action before things get much out of hand, and keeps reaction moderate (not panicked/extreme) . . . I think that can work.

Gaining weight back doesn't happen overnight, right? It can't happen unless we either ignore (pretend not to notice) the weight creep, or don't act on it.

Personally, since I know I like a treat or a splurge now and then, I tend to eat a little under maintenance calories most days (not much, maybe 100-150 calories), which gives me some wiggle room to eat over maintenance occasionally (a.k.a. "calorie banking"). (As an aside, I wouldn't do that if I had any negative symptoms from it, like shakiness. But I don't.) Then, if the scale is up, my basic strategy is to reduce the frequency/size of treats/splurges until my weight slowly creeps back down to the lower end of my range again.

That works for me, so far. The splurges/treats now and then help keep me happy. The same approach wouldn't work for everyone.

You'll figure it out. Your being analytic about it - as you evidently are - should be a help. Anxiety about it? I suspect not so helpful. Perhaps that will dissipate with time/experience. Or with trying to dissipate it.

Best wishes!

Pdc654

IronAndrew wrote: »

Thanks to everyone for your responses thus far!

To give a little more insight into my line of thinking and anxiety with this phase I'll share this bit of background information. Many years ago I used to drink soda. I noticed I was drinking 2-3 cans of soda a day and then it was 4 and sometimes more. When it got to that point I gave it up for a year in hopes I could reset things. After making it a year and cautiously trying it again I ended up drinking 1-2 at most for the first three months before I was averaging 4-6 a day. Prior to that I had given it up again for half a year with similar results. At that point I was starting my first very serious weight loss attempt. I gave up soda first as I came to the conclusion I couldn't drink it in moderation. I believed and still do that I have a problem with it and the only solution was complete abstinence from it. These days I drink flavored seltzer water or regular water. Apart from the occasional apple cider/juice/milk/cocoa and of course plain coffee (I put NOTHING in mine [it's not for everyone but once I got used to drinking it that way I didn't go back]). My weight and teeth thanked me for it.

Similarly with the weight I remember when I first started in late May of 2017 and lost around 90 pounds only to see most of it come back after I went back to college in February of 2019 steadily gaining more and more of it back until I noticed I gained it all back minus maybe 10 pounds in September of 2021. I then adopted a stricter regimen of calorie control and exercise to push it down from around 370 pounds to 331 until after my final exams ended the following semester I decided to go all out and push to the very end from 331 all the way to 188. The issue was I ended up at 183.8 pounds averaging to about 184-185 as of this writing today as I overcorrected with the exercise to overcompensate for those pieces of cadbury eggs or pieces of chocolate cake.

Just like with the soda example I wonder if there are certain things I will have to abstain from for like. While I'm not really a candy person usually I loved (and still sort of do) love chocolate and can't see myself banning that from my diet forever. Same with pizza, pasta and most carbs.

My hope is after two weeks with minimal fluctuations of a pound to three pounds at most my body will "adjust" to my new weight or rather weight range and I can set and forget my exercise/calorie routine and just exercise and restrict if I start to overindulge during the holidays or something similar. I've already made my peace with being in a weight range rather than around an exact number. Anywhere from 183 to 190 pounds will be fine I think. The question is that realistic or should I expect more fluctuations than that?

I've used and continue to use exercise now instead of food for the stress and anxiety component in my life (I work in a nursing home providing enrichment and general activities for elderly residents with dementia, as you can imagine some days are tougher than others although I get plenty of exercise and steps there before I even get home) as there was a time I'd consume a whole pizza/pint of ice cream/pasta dish if it got out of control. Especially when I had classes on top of work and it before a major project or during studying/right before final exams. I don't do that anymore. I had the cadbury eggs purely because I was curious what they tasted like (I always got the regular ones this was the first time I tried the caramel and chocolate ones: verdict it caramel was the best, reese's and oreo ones were pretty good too) as they are usually only around during Easter time and because the chocolate cake was a limited time thing as well. I think there's still a mental component to this though. I'll have to deal with that but for now I want to deal with the physical component of it or at least know what to expect about it. How much weight fluctuations is normal for example.

I get the sense I should ease up on what I allow myself to eat and stop monitoring my caloric intake but when I stopped monitoring my caloric intake before was part of why I believe I gained. I have the anxiety piece mitigated by exercise satisfying that but I still think I should monitor my calories for another three weeks before I stop that.

At the very least I'll ease up for now as what how much I allow myself to eat as I'm still eating at my "burn rate" rather than my "maintenance rate" for caloric intake. That's probably resulting in why I still feel so shaky in the afternoon. And why I keep going down in weight.

I'm just so nervous about loosening the reigns. I gained it all back before. That also happened to my best friend too.

Still I'll allow myself just shy of 100 calories within the upper limit of the maintenance caloric range and monitor how that works for the next three weeks. If I don't see any fluctuations over the range I mentioned (183-190) then it's finally time to stop monitoring caloric intake apart from occasionally checking in once or twice monthly otherwise it's time to fully let go.

Is that a realistic plan?

I am almost ready to switch to maintenance myself and I do understand your anxiety about it. I am a little nervous myself. I have lost weight many times in the past but have never been able to maintain the loss. For me, based on my own experience I do not think I do well with not logging. It is way too easy to go over on calories and too easy to justify it by saying to myself "oh that's only a couple of cookies", or cake, or whatever. If I get stressed it gets worse. Pretty soon, I've lost all concept of how many calories I'm really consuming. What is different this time is that I have a plan for maintenance. I never have had a plan before. I plan to continue weighing and logging well into maintenance. Maybe forever. In the last 2 years, I have lost over 110 lbs, and I never want to be back there again. You might not need to log forever, but i do suggest logging for your first year or so at least. It makes it easier to correct if you know what you're eating and where you can cut if necessary. Also, listen to what people have said about staying within a range and not a specific number. I see that you have chosen a maintenance weight range. That's good. Weight can vary a couple pounds from day to day, and more if you've eaten a salty meal or lots of carbs. This is nothing to be concerned about, it's just water. Don't overthink it. Stay within the range you've chosen and you'll be fine.

JaysFan82

I've been going through what you've been experiencing since I hit Maintenance in Feb

I've lost 15 more pounds since I hit my goal weight of 235. I was 388.6 when I started.

Really trying not to lose more, but I burn so many calories running. I was also super strict with my diet and was afraid to enjoy some of the foods I cut out during my loss. I've learned that it's OK and that there's nothing to be afraid of. Just don't kill a frozen pizza every night. Just once in a while.

SummerSkier

this is a very good thread for maintainers for sure. I started on MFP for the 2nd time in May 2017 and dropped 30 pounds (not a lot but for me it was!) and began maintaining Oct 2017. Like many I gradually increased my cals and kept a close eye on the scale and energy levels. I did continue to lose slowly for about 3 more months. I somethings think when we first enter maintenance if it is not an explosion of food our bodies are still in losing mode so like a huge ship where you have taken your hand off the throttle you are gradually losing loss momentum but still going down. At some point your intake and the loss momentum cross lines and then you start to gain again. 😉

As a serial yo yo er for almost 50 years of the same 20-30 pounds I an tell you that this is the first time that I ever focused on maintaining. In the past it was all about losing and there was absolutely no plan forward after that. The fact that you are HERE in this forum I feel gives you 100% more chance of success 💪✅ than anyone who just says - ok - I did it. bye bye

In my current almost 6 year journey I have found that really success is just a small series of ups and downs. The first few months are nice because usually you are still going down slowly but the trick is to catch when you start to slide the other way (injury prevented exercise maybe? eye balled foods a little too wrong? too much celebration or travel or eating out? who knows?) but it's easy to be derailed. If you set a reasonable range based on where you feel best then perhaps once or twice a year you have to take a week or 2 to cut back in order to get back to range. Much better than closing your eyes and regaining half or all of it. It's hard. We get used to maintaining and relaxed rules after a while but the reward is wonderful esp for those who took a long time to lose a lot of weight. 👏👏👏👏

lauragarcia70x

Hi Andrew- first congrats on the weight loss! I also lost 140 lbs and have been maintaining since last August. It is a difficult transition from loss to maintenance. Be patient with yourself and this is key: look at your weight average over at least a week, better yet a month, instead of focusing on today’s number. Makes a big difference! Sounds like you are in a classic binge-restrict cycle. I struggle with the exact same thing. Feed yourself adequately on what would be your restriction days, and work treats/avoidance foods into your daily meal plan to cut off the inclination to binge. Hang in there!

spiriteagle99

Like many here, I have lost and regained many times over the years. About 10 years ago I lost 55 lbs. and have sustained that loss (within 5 lbs.) ever since. The last time was different for a few reasons: 1) I found a level of exercise I enjoyed and could sustain. This allows me to enjoy treats within reason. My calories are aimed at matching my level of exercise, not vice versa. (Beware of using exercise to punish yourself for eating too much. That can lead to hating exercise.) Usually when I can't exercise, because of injury etc., my appetite decreases enough that I have been able to maintain even when not running several days a week. 2.) I continued to log what I eat, though I don't weigh or measure any more. It's enough that I'm honest with how many cookies I eat or the fact that I ate a chocolate bar instead of an apple. Usually the logging acts as a restraint to over-indulgence. (i.e. 2 cookies not 3.) 3) I continue to weigh myself at least once a week. As Ann said, one thing that leads to regain is denying the fact that you are gaining weight. It is easy to do when you don't have any numbers to set you straight. Sometimes clothes sizes aren't enough to let you know what is happening.

It can take a while to figure out how many calories you actually need to maintain your weight and how to listen to hunger cues that tell you when you need more food. Because you are so active, you may need more calories than the average person your size. Just keep on logging until you figure it out.

IronAndrew

I've watched my weight climb back up tp about 187 since the beginning of the month. Given the goal was 188 I'm not too worried but I am slightly concerned. I had some adverse things happen at work and have a certification thing to pass for both the field I work in as well as my job this Tuesday which is leading to less time for exercise as I need to continue to study for it. Though when I speak to not exercising I refer to not getting in my usual cardio and/or walking or hiking. I have continued to get in my daily strength training every single day. If I hadn't I imagine I'd be in far worse shape. It's probably why a lot of people I talk to don't believe me when I say my weight's up.

This issue is I use cardio/walking exercise to deal with stress. If I don't have time to deal with stress through this form of exercise I reach for food. Just like I used to do and what I was afraid would happen. I've noticed I'm not going back to fast food or any of my old junk foods I'm just eating more of what's in my diet up to this point. A lot more. Like peanut butter crackers and so on. And a lot of it at night and the evenings the worst possible time to. I know this because I never stopped logging my calories and I weigh weekly to twice weekly.

Maintenance is not going well but it could be worse. I don't even need to necessarily lose any weight yet. But I do need to achieve homeostasis soon. Like this week or next.

There is something to a binge -restrict cycle happening with me. Only with the loss of the exercise I lost my way of controlling for both burned calories as well as not overconsuming out of stress. After this Tuesday I should be clear of my current obstacle. Given I was able to successfully juggle a similar thing when I was going for my certification/licensing earlier this year I'm disappointed in myself but next week is a new week.

I really think the key is for me to get more sleep too. I've been averaging something close to 3 hours of sleep or less a night and that was going on for over two weeks. It caught up with me.

That and figuring out why I seem to be so out of breath and dizzy lately. This was a precursor to before I started losing sleep. Regardless of when I was losing weight and before I transitioned to maintenance. Even after I started overeating I still feel that way. I suspect this is a separate issue. I really hope it's not insulin resistance or something.

SModa61

@Ironandrew I enjoyed reading your thread and the responses you have received. I am back pretty much at maintenance.....again. It is where I fail.

I guess I don't really have advice for you as I am trying to figure it out myself, but I am wishing you success.

IronAndrew

In the meantime, I've temporarily restricted my calories for the next week or two and re-established my weight loss regimen. I managed to pull a hamstring a few days ago (long story) so I'm taking it somewhat easy despite this.

IronAndrew

As it turns out pulling the hamstring resulted in a higher weight than I actually was. I reweighed the next day with an additional scale and weighed about 6 pounds less. I still backed off the extra calories for about a week as I was starting to see a return to stress eating habits from the past.

Weight is now back to within maintenance range for me (below 188 pounds).

I think I'm going to establish my maintenance range from 186 to 191 pounds going forward. (the false positive had me over 194!)

momlongerwalk

I tripped on a thought that has really helped after 40 years more or less of staying the course within 5 lbs. The Lizard Brain.
That part of your brain in the here & now, loves those yummy things far beyond moderation. The part that makes it hard to stop once you start because it doesn't have "reason." Lizard Brain, however, has no control over your body. It can't make you get up and open the cookies.
The prefrontal cortex is your highest order thinking brain, the one that has the data, a view to better or worse in the long run, what many would call your center of willpower.
Well, huh. Of course, I set up a competition with score keeping between LB and PFC.
It's hysterically funny to me to actually watch my LB in action! My word, it will do anything for another bite of raisins before bedtime. And now I can just be the one in charge! LB is losing, not everyday because a lack of sleep or undereating makes the PFC have a hard time. I offer up the concept. In the meantime, it's made a world of difference in my occasional slight bingeing. And amused me to boot!

AnnPT77

IronAndrew wrote: »

As it turns out pulling the hamstring resulted in a higher weight than I actually was. I reweighed the next day with an additional scale and weighed about 6 pounds less. I still backed off the extra calories for about a week as I was starting to see a return to stress eating habits from the past.

Weight is now back to within maintenance range for me (below 188 pounds).

I think I'm going to establish my maintenance range from 186 to 191 pounds going forward. (the false positive had me over 194!)

One option you could consider is only to invoke the maintenance range uh-oh reaction if the weight creeps up over the top end, stays over the top end for X days.

For me, a sudden multi-pound jump is pretty much always water weight, unless I absolutely know I ate something in the realm of 3500 calories over maintenance for every pound of that scale jump. That's true whether I can identify the reason for the water retention or not. Personally, I don't enjoy panic mode, so if the scale jump is sudden, I'll give my body a few days to correct before invoking that reaction.

momlongerwalk

BTW, I wasn't trying to be flip above. You are thoughtful, engaged, and dedicated. You'll figure it out soon.

cmriverside

momlongerwalk wrote: »

BTW, I wasn't trying to be flip above. You are thoughtful, engaged, and dedicated. You'll figure it out soon.

I have read a lot about lizard brain and prefrontal cortex (I've had compulsion issues all my life) so I thought your post was ingenious but I don't want to highjack this thread too much...apologies to Andrew for a moment... I've never thought of setting up a competition between the two brain regions but it makes perfect sense.

or wait - maybe I have but just never named it that. We had a long thread many years ago about staying away from sugar, and some people would score-keep, like "Sugar = 0, Me = 9" for days of success.

LB vs PFC is just something new. :flowerforyou:

IronAndrew

It's interesting bringing up LB vs PFB interactions. I had LB or though I had in check for the past few months but lack of sleep weakened my resistance for a bit.

However I've never gone back to fast food or bad food in general just out of control portions of what I already eat. For example instead of one packet of peanut butter crackers which I eat at once it becomes two or I end up having an additional two or three later in the day.

When daily average steps increase double from what they usually are it doesn't concern me too much until I realize I've eaten like 5 crackers at night. I've instead loaded up during lunch time when I expect to be more mobile that way that food isn't sitting there overnight.

Foods on the mind more than usual though. I suspect it's also due to increased stress (I'm anticipating a job change/ new job in the next month or so)

Rather than trying to prevent the proverbial dam from breaking I might as well manage best I can and put everything back together after the waters subside.

That said I did almost go to McDonald's today the only reason I didn't as I missed breakfast there by one minute. I consider breakfast at these places to be safer... not by much but somewhat safer than what's served throughout the rest of the day. Missed it so made slightly better choices instead. Thwarted by time for the better in this instance!

The big things I'm trying to maintain is no fast food and no soda which I've been free of since the end of May 2017. Sugar addiction is a thing and I get enough of that from the occasional chocolate ice cream as it is. Don't want to be drinking it too. Plus I lost my taste for it and do not want to get it back. I was on 6 cans a day at my worst after being at 4 cans a day at my previous worst and giving it up for a year. That's what inspired me to abstain forever.

Jthanmyfitnesspal

@IronAndrew : Awesome job! I join you in the maintenance club, a great place to be! We all have reason to be nervous. The best tool for maintenance is the one we used to lose weight: logging food and exercise and monitoring body weight. Case in point: I went on my spring vacation and my weight jumped up about 4lbs (food and drink!). Over the past two weeks, that weight is gone and I'm back to what I was when I left. Addressing the issue immediately made it easy to correct.

It really sounds like your life is too stressful. 3 hours of sleep a night for two weeks? I'd be dead! What ever you can do to balance out your life will help. Engage all possible help that you can, change jobs, take up meditation, get off social media, buy a pet. Whatever works, it's worth it!

IronAndrew

I have mandatory per diem so having more of a set schedule will do wonders towards creating less stress. Hard to make plans when I'm constantly adjusting them last moment.

IronAndrew

I just finished resetting my weight and resuming back to maintenance. I had a particularly bad few days at work earlier in June and discovered on June 22nd I was 203.4 pounds. Prior to that I had last weighed myself on June 13 and I was 189.6. A weight gain of 13.8 pounds in 9-10 days. Yikes!

As of this morning July 3rd I am down to 189 exactly after a strict 10-11 days of eating at my caloric burn levels and exercising 4-5 days out of the week intensely on top of my morning strength training. That's a loss of about 14.4 pounds in 10-11 days. As you can see I have no issues losing weight but when it piles on it piles on! Once I allow myself one "treat" it's not hard to rationalize another and another. This is why I gave up soda because I realized I couldn't trust myself to stick to 1 or a few a week and ended up at 6 cans everyday. I need better preventative measures.

Either that or I'm going to end up eating nothing but oatmeal, yogurt, apples, eggs, and salad for the rest of my life. Not the worst things to eat though.

I know part of why what happened beyond the stress eating is my activity levels plummeted due to aforementioned stress at work where I didn't have it in my to get active when I got out. Since exercise or food was how I dealt with stress and exercise wasn't on the table at the moment you can guess how it happened. Also exercise as an activity was a buffer against weight gain as well. Hiking groups didn't form the last few weeks and still aren't. Last hike I encountered my first copperhead snake and that shook me a bit. It wasn't trying to bite or anything I think it was dead from the smoke from the wildfires in Canada but it did make me think about how dangerous hiking can be if I'm not properly prepared.

Rather than my unsustainable 20-30k step days 2-4 times a week I'm going to do 3-4 aerobic sessions at 45 minutes going forward. Sprinkle in a few 45 minute sessions on the treadmill or outside if I'm up to that on top of the aerobic sessions if I've slipped and overindulged (I've pushed for sustained 3.5 mph on the treadmill at an hour during my burn and was pushing up to 4.0, tried 5.0 for a bit and realized I'm really not there yet!). That should address any instances of overindulgence. Of course not doing it in the first place is the best safeguard of all!

I had been monitoring my daily caloric intake all along but I neglected to weigh myself for 10 days. I'm going to go back to weighing every 3-4 days for awhile on top of logging. Constant vigilance especially during times of stress will have to be part of my plan going forward. I was afraid this would happen if I wasn't weighing regularly. It's a lot easier to deal with a 2-4 pound gain versus almost 14 pounds!

Thankfully I was able to address it. Good thing because things are about to get very rocky for me in regards to work soon.

I think this is a serviceable approach going forward. Any thoughts?

cmriverside

My personal take on your post(s) is that you seem to have quite a lot of anxiety and not many coping strategies?

That 14 pounds gain/loss in such a short amount of time is concerning. So is your belief that only strict food control and rigorous exercise will do.

Have you considered a bit of therapy to address your all-or-nothing, black-and-white mentality? Or even do a bit of reading on the interwebz about illogical thought patterns...those I mention are really common with various mental health disorders and can easily transfer to body dysmorphia or eating disorders.

Not bashing you at all, I can fall into dysfunctional eating at times, but 14 pounds up and down in a month is quite a jump. Part of that could just be regular fluctuations, too. The reaction and thought patterns around it are what is so extreme.

IronAndrew

You are not wrong. My anxiety and response to it plays a critical role to be sure.

In the event that my weight went up again, as it did I wanted to address it as soon as possible to correct it.

Prior to my weight going up it actually went down slowly towards 183 over time. That was without any periods of stress.

While anxiety and an inadequate coping strategy is a part of my issue I think that there’s also something else causing my weight fluctuations as well. I’m trying to figure out what that other factor is.

Rather than trying to find an exact amount of calories to eat per day, I’d rather go for an average per week, which I think is more sustainable long-term, as well as an average amount of time exercise, correct instead of per day, which again I think, is more sustainable prior to that I was focusing on the daily activity and caloric level which, of course is going to var from day to day.

An argument could be made it’s going to vary from week to week and maybe I should focus on a monthly caloric and a monthly activity level too. Another argument could be made that I’m obsessing over this too much. I like meeting targets it’s part of who I am walking towards that lessens, my anxiety amongst other things. I need targets to work towards.

Is it possible that the very things that worked for me to lose the weight are not going to work for me to stay at maintenance? Maintenance feels like a completely different game than weight loss was. Probably because it is.

The stress didn’t stop at work during my calorie burn phase to lose those 14 pounds the past 11 days I just turned towards exercise and other things to cope with my stress, such as use of aromatherapy, hot showers, meditation which I have done before which includes deep breathing, as well as mindfulness techniques. I put my hobbies on the back burner for a while, though, which are more on the creative side, which I’ll be using again, hopefully as a way to cope with stress which up to this point has mostly served as a creative outlet for me.

Prior to losing the weight and during losing the weight, I’ve realized that work, going back to school and my certification journey which I finished back in February and working towards other things in my career has been my life since late 2017. I’ve pretty much suspended the majority of my hobbies for a very long time doing that until school ended getting to do the hiking, taught me other parts of myself that I think are good not just for losing weight for maintaining a healthy lifestyle but for coping with stress. The challenge has been in able to keep things in balance when things get tough although when I was studying for my certification and getting the extra hours in over half a year at work before I could take the exam and I was able to keep my weight loss on a downward trend thankfully so I’ve proven I can do it. I just need to be more consistent. I did another couple of certifications that I finished up in early June and my weight did go slightly up like 2 to 3 pounds versus the almost 14, but I corrected it after the fact. If I was able to prevent it from going up in the first place like I did the first time around, I would consider that a win. I feel like I’m always reacting. I’m not able to prevent anything. To me that’s not sustainable long-term. I want to set it and forget it within a 3 to 7 pound range before I have to correct.

But is that even the best approach to take?

I started joining meetup groups that were about hiking or just being more physically active, to guard against that as well. Most of my friends are not physically active and prefer to spend the day and night inside which there’s nothing wrong with that but when I do a lot of that my weight goes up so if I want to prevent that I either have to be physically active on my own or find groups that engage in that. For the most part the second time around since last May, I’ve had to do all of this on my own. I had no one with me on my journey. I suspect many other people that I’ve gone through this have had the same experience. By contrast the first time around in 2017 I had a friend with me in my weight loss efforts and it was a lot easier. Achieving my target weight inspired that same friend to begin their weight loss journey again. Or they told me so anyway who knows if that was what really inspired them. It felt gratifying as they were my original source of inspiration the first time around and they got further than me until a couple of months ago before I achieved my goal.

I also have to be mindful of my caloric intake versus my activity level and make the necessary adjustments as well which I failed to do last time. At the end of the day it’s not on anyone else but me. It’s just a lot easier when I’m around people that have the same goals and targets as me.

Also until I lost the weight for a long time. I just sort accepted that’s part of who I was. A large person. I had been overweight and obese since the age of 11 sometime around 1997 or 1998 so being the fat person was almost a part of my identity. Until 2017, and until last year I tried and failed so many times to lose the weight as it would always come back are usually around 250. I still feel kind of weird losing the weight and looking this way. Many of my friends are not used to it. Same with my co workers and family. It’s like a different identity. Not sure if anyone else has gone through this I imagine a few people did maybe. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see myself I see someone else, a stranger. But I shrug my shoulders and move on with my day.

As mentioned before I tried and failed over the years to lose weight and then I found something that worked. I got halfway there back in 2019 until going back to school, which is part of that insufficient coping strategy, caused me to back off as I did not have a adequate response to it at the time. While attending school after my weight started to go up, I was able to get it down by 30 pounds during some particularly stressful periods. I wasn’t able to fully restart the journey in it’s entirety until the day after my midterm exam last year. I went from 331 to 183 from May 17 to sometime in March or April but I was in my 360’s sometime during school in November of 2021. Same range as I started in 2017. I effectively started over alone.

Then I went full throttle, and instead of stopping at 220 or even 210. I went to 190 and got below that. No one thought that I would even make it to 225 and told me to be realistic about getting to maybe 230 or 235.

I didn’t think I could do it at times, and other people in my life didn’t think I could go the distance, but I proved myself and them all wrong. I feel neither good nor bad about that. Just reflecting on it, it brings me no real joy.

Sad thing is, I have almost no happiness about achieving this, other than the fact that I achieved the task, which is a source of happiness, but there’s no satisfaction beyond that. Like I said before I like my targets.

Maintenance. There’s no target nothing to work towards other than not going up or down for me, which is in itself another source of anxiety. with weight loss I could work towards losing weight, which is something that I get.

The overall goal of maintenance as it seems to me, is to be one of consistency, which is something I struggle with intensely. I am good at extreme short and long-term bursts at something. I was obviously able to be consistent on my weight loss journey once I got below a certain amount of pounds or I wouldn’t get to where I was now, but that was because I had something in front of me to work towards. Right now I feel like I have something to work against and I think that is the critical difference.

I need a target I need an objective those are things I understand.

So the best I can think is monthly or weekly caloric objectives as well as monthly and weekly activity level physical activities such as time
walking, doing aerobics, etc. and varied intensity.

I acknowledge that my approach is not the best one, or even a good one which is why I seek input from other sources.

It got me here but the approach that helped me to lose the weight is not going to keep me from getting it back. Especially if that’s when all my free time is going towards prevention or correction. Eventually I’m going to get tired and something is going to slip. It already has a few times. I have everything corrected again for the moment but for how long?

Once I have more of a set schedule, I think much of my anxiety will dissipate until then I’m going to use the techniques I mentioned earlier to increase aerobic activity to 3 to 4 times a day, and just be mindful but not obsessive about intake.

I tend to seesaw between two extremes, and I really think the crux of maintenance for me is finding balance and not obsessing over a number on the scale. Setting targets and meeting them are part of who I am. I am a task oriented person and that’s never going to change so me getting rid of that is not an option.

Using my fondness for meeting targets and objectives in the maintenance journey seems to me the only way forward, but maybe there’s something else I haven’t seen?

I really hope there is something else. Another way.

cmriverside

What you said is sensibly articulated.

I'm going to reiterate what I mentioned on page one.

Hormones are all out of whack in that first year post-weight-loss. It's just a fact.

Keep working at it, and I think Time will be the best solution. You know how much to eat and how to log food, and if you don't panic and stop doing the basics like stepping on the body weight scale and getting a little exercise (it doesn't have to be a huge Social Event that takes three hours, just start walking as much as you can in short time chunks every day) - it will all be okay.

Step on the scale, log food. Adjust at five pound changes, don't let it become 14.

AnnPT77

IronAndrew wrote: »

You are not wrong. My anxiety and response to it plays a critical role to be sure.

In the event that my weight went up again, as it did I wanted to address it as soon as possible to correct it.

Prior to my weight going up it actually went down slowly towards 183 over time. That was without any periods of stress.

While anxiety and an inadequate coping strategy is a part of my issue I think that there’s also something else causing my weight fluctuations as well. I’m trying to figure out what that other factor is.

I think I may've said this upthread, and I know I'm speculating here (not knowing you well personally), but I still feel as if you're having the absolutely normal routine weight fluctuations we all experience (mostly water weight and digestive contents weirdness), but reacting to them as if they were entirely body fat changes requiring quick correction. I may be wrong.

Generally, a big change in weight over a day or few - without a commensurate big increase in eating or big reduction in activity over a similar time period - isn't fat. With even remotely consistent habits, fat changes tend to be a slow-creep kind of thing, that sneak in in the background behind the more dramatic swings that are water/waste.

Rather than trying to find an exact amount of calories to eat per day, I’d rather go for an average per week, which I think is more sustainable long-term, as well as an average amount of time exercise, correct instead of per day, which again I think, is more sustainable prior to that I was focusing on the daily activity and caloric level which, of course is going to var from day to day.

Averages can work. Even a week isn't a sacred limitation, though. (But I do understand that you seem to like things to be more structured and measurable.)

An argument could be made it’s going to vary from week to week and maybe I should focus on a monthly caloric and a monthly activity level too. Another argument could be made that I’m obsessing over this too much. I like meeting targets it’s part of who I am walking towards that lessens, my anxiety amongst other things. I need targets to work towards.

Is it possible that the very things that worked for me to lose the weight are not going to work for me to stay at maintenance? Maintenance feels like a completely different game than weight loss was. Probably because it is.

It's possible. For myself, I focused during loss on finding habits I thought I could keep nearly on autopilot long term to keep at a healthy weight. It's possible to do that later, but I found it a bit easier to do with the moderate calorie deficit to cushion the effect of any failed experiments with candidate habits.

The stress didn’t stop at work during my calorie burn phase to lose those 14 pounds the past 11 days I just turned towards exercise and other things to cope with my stress, such as use of aromatherapy, hot showers, meditation which I have done before which includes deep breathing, as well as mindfulness techniques. I put my hobbies on the back burner for a while, though, which are more on the creative side, which I’ll be using again, hopefully as a way to cope with stress which up to this point has mostly served as a creative outlet for me.

Prior to losing the weight and during losing the weight, I’ve realized that work, going back to school and my certification journey which I finished back in February and working towards other things in my career has been my life since late 2017. I’ve pretty much suspended the majority of my hobbies for a very long time doing that until school ended getting to do the hiking, taught me other parts of myself that I think are good not just for losing weight for maintaining a healthy lifestyle but for coping with stress. The challenge has been in able to keep things in balance when things get tough although when I was studying for my certification and getting the extra hours in over half a year at work before I could take the exam and I was able to keep my weight loss on a downward trend thankfully so I’ve proven I can do it. I just need to be more consistent. I did another couple of certifications that I finished up in early June and my weight did go slightly up like 2 to 3 pounds versus the almost 14, but I corrected it after the fact. If I was able to prevent it from going up in the first place like I did the first time around, I would consider that a win. I feel like I’m always reacting. I’m not able to prevent anything. To me that’s not sustainable long-term. I want to set it and forget it within a 3 to 7 pound range before I have to correct.

But is that even the best approach to take?

I think a range is good, but - because it's normal for body weight to fluctuate randomly from one day to the next - I feel like it's more realistic to think of an action plan that is alert for a creep upward of scale weight, then a period of a couple/few days above the high end, before reacting. But maybe that's just me.

Higher vigilance = more stress, for me.

I started joining meetup groups that were about hiking or just being more physically active, to guard against that as well. Most of my friends are not physically active and prefer to spend the day and night inside which there’s nothing wrong with that but when I do a lot of that my weight goes up so if I want to prevent that I either have to be physically active on my own or find groups that engage in that. For the most part the second time around since last May, I’ve had to do all of this on my own. I had no one with me on my journey. I suspect many other people that I’ve gone through this have had the same experience. By contrast the first time around in 2017 I had a friend with me in my weight loss efforts and it was a lot easier. Achieving my target weight inspired that same friend to begin their weight loss journey again. Or they told me so anyway who knows if that was what really inspired them. It felt gratifying as they were my original source of inspiration the first time around and they got further than me until a couple of months ago before I achieved my goal.

I also have to be mindful of my caloric intake versus my activity level and make the necessary adjustments as well which I failed to do last time. At the end of the day it’s not on anyone else but me. It’s just a lot easier when I’m around people that have the same goals and targets as me.

Also until I lost the weight for a long time. I just sort accepted that’s part of who I was. A large person. I had been overweight and obese since the age of 11 sometime around 1997 or 1998 so being the fat person was almost a part of my identity. Until 2017, and until last year I tried and failed so many times to lose the weight as it would always come back are usually around 250. I still feel kind of weird losing the weight and looking this way. Many of my friends are not used to it. Same with my co workers and family. It’s like a different identity. Not sure if anyone else has gone through this I imagine a few people did maybe. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see myself I see someone else, a stranger. But I shrug my shoulders and move on with my day.

This is normal, too: I found that my friends/family were kind of weird about my weight loss at first. But after some months to a year or so, as I stayed around the same weight, they got used to the new me, and stopped reacting to it, started taking me-as-me for granted at the new weight.

Ditto for self image. It was quite frequent for me during the first months to a year or so to catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, or something like that, and not realize it was me; or to turn sideways to fit through a small space as fatter me would've needed to do, even though it was no longer necessary. (Got some odd reactions to that from people around me, too. )

As mentioned before I tried and failed over the years to lose weight and then I found something that worked. I got halfway there back in 2019 until going back to school, which is part of that insufficient coping strategy, caused me to back off as I did not have a adequate response to it at the time. While attending school after my weight started to go up, I was able to get it down by 30 pounds during some particularly stressful periods. I wasn’t able to fully restart the journey in it’s entirety until the day after my midterm exam last year. I went from 331 to 183 from May 17 to sometime in March or April but I was in my 360’s sometime during school in November of 2021. Same range as I started in 2017. I effectively started over alone.

Then I went full throttle, and instead of stopping at 220 or even 210. I went to 190 and got below that. No one thought that I would even make it to 225 and told me to be realistic about getting to maybe 230 or 235.

I didn’t think I could do it at times, and other people in my life didn’t think I could go the distance, but I proved myself and them all wrong. I feel neither good nor bad about that. Just reflecting on it, it brings me no real joy.

Sad thing is, I have almost no happiness about achieving this, other than the fact that I achieved the task, which is a source of happiness, but there’s no satisfaction beyond that. Like I said before I like my targets.

Maintenance. There’s no target nothing to work towards other than not going up or down for me, which is in itself another source of anxiety. with weight loss I could work towards losing weight, which is something that I get.

The overall goal of maintenance as it seems to me, is to be one of consistency, which is something I struggle with intensely. I am good at extreme short and long-term bursts at something. I was obviously able to be consistent on my weight loss journey once I got below a certain amount of pounds or I wouldn’t get to where I was now, but that was because I had something in front of me to work towards. Right now I feel like I have something to work against and I think that is the critical difference.

I need a target I need an objective those are things I understand.

I stink at conscious consistency, but can use bursts of motivation to find relatively-easy repeatable new habits, and practice them until they become pretty automatic most of the time . . . and most of the time is good enough, generally. I used to have routine habits when I was fat - habits I didn't think about much - and now I have different habits.

As far as targets or objectives, I feel like you're maybe looking for things that are quantifiable, numeric, measurable. I grant that averaging around X calories intake and Y exercise sessions of Z length can be that, and maybe even staying within a weight range can be. But some goals are possibly more process oriented (weigh daily or log every day or things like that), and maybe those loom larger in maintenance. Some people here say they set athletic performance goals in maintenance, too, like improving running pace or weight lifted or something like that.

So the best I can think is monthly or weekly caloric objectives as well as monthly and weekly activity level physical activities such as time
walking, doing aerobics, etc. and varied intensity.

I acknowledge that my approach is not the best one, or even a good one which is why I seek input from other sources.

It got me here but the approach that helped me to lose the weight is not going to keep me from getting it back. Especially if that’s when all my free time is going towards prevention or correction. Eventually I’m going to get tired and something is going to slip. It already has a few times. I have everything corrected again for the moment but for how long?

Once I have more of a set schedule, I think much of my anxiety will dissipate until then I’m going to use the techniques I mentioned earlier to increase aerobic activity to 3 to 4 times a day, and just be mindful but not obsessive about intake.

Short slips don't matter in the big picture. (I know "short" and "big" are squishily defined, in that sentence.) The longer you're in maintenance, I'd bet that your confidence in that idea can increase, especially if you can kind of foster an impulse in that direction (by working with averages, as one example, say).

I'd strongly encourage you not to let exercising to "make up for" eating be a big factor, because of the risk of starting to think of exercise as a punishment for over-eating. That's a slippery slope toward a bad relationship with both exercise and food. Food is not a sin. We don't expiate it via exercise. Over-exercising steals balance from overall life, too.

Slightly better might be a planning kind of approach, like if you can predict you have a bigger eating social event or something coming up, maybe eat a little less in the days leading up to it, or fit in a bit more movement, something like that . . . when possible, maybe psychologically position it as empowering yourself to enjoy some special indulgence at a certain point, rather than "making up for" something.

Your impulse to seek balance in your life is IMO an even better way to look at things: Balancing happy/practical exercise with reasonable average calorie intake, allowing enough time and energy for stress-management activities, creativity for its own sake, some social connections, and all the things that go into having a well-rounded life. I'm not saying that's easy . . . but that's a stretch objective or goal of a non-numeric sort, maybe?

I tend to seesaw between two extremes, and I really think the crux of maintenance for me is finding balance and not obsessing over a number on the scale. Setting targets and meeting them are part of who I am. I am a task oriented person and that’s never going to change so me getting rid of that is not an option.

Using my fondness for meeting targets and objectives in the maintenance journey seems to me the only way forward, but maybe there’s something else I haven’t seen?

I really hope there is something else. Another way.

I have confidence that you can work this out. It can be gradual. Don't be too hard on yourself, eh? This - loss and maintenance - is a big life change. You've done super well so far. You can continue to do well. It will take some experimenting, some learning, analysis, adjustment . . . and that's OK

Best wishes!

IronAndrew

Thought I'd check in. Weight is still fluctuating some but not with as many large swings up and down as in the past. I might finally have this maintenance thing figured out!

I've definitely built a bit more muscle too (especially in the legs) so I'm sure that may have played a part in past variances in weigh-ins.

For now I'm going by how my clothes feel and where my belt notches around my waist. If I start to have an issue with that I then step on the scale and re-evaluate. The constant weighing from before and the constant over correction was not sustainable long-term. I've also allowed myself a wider latitude of weight range. I find it evens out on its own now. And if it doesn't then I take action but I haven't had to do this in some time now.

This approach in contrast may not be perfect or what I originally had in mind but it's something I can do that works for my needs.

After a few more months once I get other non physical health things better balanced I'm going to look into other fitness goals of mine. This includes weight lifting, running, and maybe even mountain climbing. Fun times ahead.

AnnPT77

@IronAndrew, I'm so glad to here your weight is settling into an acceptable range, and that you're beginning to feel more calm and confident about maintenance. That's excellent. I know it's hard at first, but it's good that you're getting more relaxed about it (in a good way, i.e., not inattentive or uncaring). Good show!