Starting over

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Hello world! I’ve been diagnosed with depression for a long time now, starting around 11 years old. I wanna give myself a second chance and make my life about me finally. Currently I’m very overweight and get made fun of everyday for being fat where I work. I weigh 220 lbs. I’m hoping to be ambitious and lose 100 pounds, for real this time.
My highest recorded weight was 320 pounds at 11 years old. My lowest recorded weight was 118 pounds at 13 years old. I was a very heavyset child but I wanted to be healthy once I found out what obesity was. I was also born with obesity. I Maintained a healthy weight of around 140 until I turned around 16, and become really depressed again. Right now I’m 20 years old and see the direction my weight is taking me.
On top of all the other burdens, I should at least eliminate 1.
My weight prohibits me from doing things I love. And sent me to the ER. I can’t fit into normal clothes and take up more space than the average person. I guess physically you could say I dislike having a double chin as well lol. My stomach is probably what I dislike the most because it is so large. They ask if I’m pregnant lol.
Anyways I have been using my fitness pal for a really long time although I stopped using it eventually. Now I wanna use it as a tool to eat healthier as it’s difficult to grasp the concept of nutrients and calories without it, being over or under as a result.
I think I’m gonna trying to photograph my progress. I’m hoping to look healthy by the time I need to get a new photograph for my drivers license. In my current one I’m very large and look unhealthy. And I’m gonna save it though in my journal so I can see what changes I’ve made to make my life better.
Previously I felt like my heart was in the wrong place for weight loss. As though I was trying to lose it to please other people or to fit in. Well I’m glad in a way I’m starting in a rough shape because the people against me now are exposed to me as true enemies/shallow people now.
So when I become better and they start to act as though they are my friend I will just ignore them. If they don’t like me as I am they can’t have me at my best either, because they do not see me for the person that I am. And my real friends I’ll appreciate for life.
When my weight changes I’ll be open for more opportunities in my life so I am excited but it just seems so far away right now. But I’m throwing that negative thought away. And anticipating my weekly weigh in to go down and down. At the same time I’m also saving my money, to go up and up. So at the same time im growing a savings for myself again. Financially im improving and so will I in terms of my health, I think after I do that maybe I will feel less depressed everyday. At least I can give myself that if I do not have anything else. I’m excited to embark on my new journey and leave what was behind. I want the life I always think of.