THIS IS INSANE (litterally)

nerdypeanutbutter

i thank you all for the tips. thank you thank you. me and my friend are loosing weight together and our goal time is at the end of the summer. im here eating eggs, veggies, meats, keto cereal, ect. and my portions are def smaller. i do get very hungry at times. on the other hand my friends is litterally starving herself. i told her im going to do a point system for calories like i saw in a youtube video. so for every 100 calories i get 1 point. i get 14 points a day. you do the math. she thinks 1400 calories is A LOT. i told her anything under 1200 is starving yourself. she told me "im just letting my body eat the fat". im eating way more than her and im loosing weight faster. please any tips to help her understand what weight loss really is. im very worried.

vivmom2014

The fact that you're here asking about this, and not her, doesn't bode well. You can tell people things, show them studies and analyses, even horror stories -- and it may make no difference at all.

I'm not sure that setting up a competition/contest between the two of you is wise, given your friend's proclivity to eat in an unhealthy way. Adding the stress of "who's losing more" or "who's losing faster" is the kind of stress nobody needs in life.

In the meantime, I hope your friend gets the knowledge she needs in a way that will make her want to change her behavior.

kshama2001

Send her this:

https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/

But also keep this in mind:

vivmom2014 wrote: »

The fact that you're here asking about this, and not her, doesn't bode well. You can tell people things, show them studies and analyses, even horror stories -- and it may make no difference at all.

I'm not sure that setting up a competition/contest between the two of you is wise, given your friend's proclivity to eat in an unhealthy way. Adding the stress of "who's losing more" or "who's losing faster" is the kind of stress nobody needs in life.

In the meantime, I hope your friend gets the knowledge she needs in a way that will make her want to change her behavior.

serpentegena

TBH the daily calorie intake requirement depends on the dieter's total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) which can be estimated based on age, height, weight and activity level. So you're not wrong in saying 1200 calories is very low (for the average able-bodied adult), but you're not exactly right either, because that number was not produced by a custom estimate for your friend's age and everything.

That being said. What you both *should* be doing if you want to establish a correctly estimated calorie deficit, is to start by calculating your TDEE, as well as your basal metabolic rate (BMR) which is the lowest number of calories you each should eat in a day to maintain basic bodily functions (meaning: these calories are essential for life).

You can search online for "TDEE calculator" and "BMR calculator".

Keep in mind that the TDEE number (and implicitly the BMR as well) will be higher on a day when you've burned more calories (doing sports, running, or otherwise being active). So typically you should adjust the TDEE number higher on those days to take into account the extra calories that were burned. Otherwise, you might fall under your BMR on those days without realizing it.

The online calculators do their best to count regular activity such as having a job where you're on your feet all day, for example, but they typically won't count the calories you burn through irregular activities such as doing sports. So it's the dieter's job to keep track of daily physical activity and eat more to compensate for the additional used up calories.

As a general guideline, you should never eat less calories than your BMR estimate. Doing so, even for a short while, may have a severe impact on your long-term health, and may manifest as hormonal/endocrine imbalances, hair fall out, etc. You should always take the calorie "cut" for your diet out of the TDEE number, and never go below the BMR with your daily calorie intake.

I said "as a general guideline" because aggressive diets do exist, and sometimes bodybuilding athletes do apply a severe caloric restriction *for short periods and for specific goals such as competitions*. But they always do it for a very short while, because it is incredibly taxing on the body.

Also, bodybuilders do this for a living, and they have specialist advice and follow-up. And an aggressive dieting phase has its own challenges. It will make you grumpy/hangry, tired/lethargic, even disoriented at times. If your friend is eating under her BMR, she may literally not be thinking straight because of it.

Do you guys have any access to a professional nutritionist? How about a personal trainer who is also knowledgeable about sports nutrition? Usually talking to a professional helps to get you on the right track. You might start by talking to someone for yourself, ask about setting up a proper CICO diet, then share what you've learned with your friend, and since it's coming from a figure of authority in the matter, perhaps she'd be more inclined to trust it at that point.

Another thing: a calorie deficit by itself is already an effective diet, but a calorie deficit combined with a proper physical training program is going to have much better results than just dieting. Some ehmmm, food for thought.

I hope it works out!

sollyn23l2

Yeah, I've come to believe you can't tell nobody nothing unless they want to hear it. Doesn't really seem like your friend wants help or advice.

neanderthin

serpentegena wrote: »

TBH the daily calorie intake requirement depends on the dieter's total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) which can be estimated based on age, height, weight and activity level. So you're not wrong in saying 1200 calories is very low (for the average able-bodied adult), but you're not exactly right either, because that number was not produced by a custom estimate for your friend's age and everything.

That being said. What you both *should* be doing if you want to establish a correctly estimated calorie deficit, is to start by calculating your TDEE, as well as your basal metabolic rate (BMR) which is the lowest number of calories you each should eat in a day to maintain basic bodily functions (meaning: these calories are essential for life).

You can search online for "TDEE calculator" and "BMR calculator".

Keep in mind that the TDEE number (and implicitly the BMR as well) will be higher on a day when you've burned more calories (doing sports, running, or otherwise being active). So typically you should adjust the TDEE number higher on those days to take into account the extra calories that were burned. Otherwise, you might fall under your BMR on those days without realizing it.

The online calculators do their best to count regular activity such as having a job where you're on your feet all day, for example, but they typically won't count the calories you burn through irregular activities such as doing sports. So it's the dieter's job to keep track of daily physical activity and eat more to compensate for the additional used up calories.

As a general guideline, you should never eat less calories than your BMR estimate. Doing so, even for a short while, may have a severe impact on your long-term health, and may manifest as hormonal/endocrine imbalances, hair fall out, etc. You should always take the calorie "cut" for your diet out of the TDEE number, and never go below the BMR with your daily calorie intake.

I said "as a general guideline" because aggressive diets do exist, and sometimes bodybuilding athletes do apply a severe caloric restriction *for short periods and for specific goals such as competitions*. But they always do it for a very short while, because it is incredibly taxing on the body.

Also, bodybuilders do this for a living, and they have specialist advice and follow-up. And an aggressive dieting phase has its own challenges. It will make you grumpy/hangry, tired/lethargic, even disoriented at times. If your friend is eating under her BMR, she may literally not be thinking straight because of it.

Do you guys have any access to a professional nutritionist? How about a personal trainer who is also knowledgeable about sports nutrition? Usually talking to a professional helps to get you on the right track. You might start by talking to someone for yourself, ask about setting up a proper CICO diet, then share what you've learned with your friend, and since it's coming from a figure of authority in the matter, perhaps she'd be more inclined to trust it at that point.

Another thing: a calorie deficit by itself is already an effective diet, but a calorie deficit combined with a proper physical training program is going to have much better results than just dieting. Some ehmmm, food for thought.

I hope it works out!

Well I do agree if your a body builder with 4% body fat getting ready for a comp then yeah severely restricting calories is idiotic but they know that. People that have a lot of weight to lose especially the obese and morbidly obese who have a few hundred thousand stored calories to use for that deficit energy shortfall requires a totally different program, and contrary to popular believe they're not going to have negative long term health problem and hair falling out. They improve immediately all blood markers, reduce fatty liver, reduce visceral fat and improve our endocrine system
with increased insulin sensitivity, decreased inflammation and improve hormones that effect (restore) our hunger signaling. What needs to be monitored under these situation and hopefully under a doctors care is overall nutrient requirements, just to make sure there's no shortfall or problems. Can someone be too aggressive, sure, but not for the reasons your alluding to. imo. Cheers

springlering62

Are you both actually losing weight?

If so, you’re both a success.

In my head I keep thinking,”way to kill a friendship”.

Believe me, it’s hard enough having two spouses in a household counting calories. I would never ever compete with him or anyone else. The competition already exists, on an unspoken basis. Why exacerbate it.

pony4us

Keep in mind that the OP is under 18...and her friend probably is also. She thankfully did tell people in another post.

paperpudding

I thought you had to be 18 to join here?

sollyn23l2

paperpudding wrote: »

I thought you had to be 18 to join here?

They have a disclaimer that this site is only for adults over 18, but there's no real way to stop anyone from joining. Frankly, if a teenager wants to use the site, I don't really have a problem with it. I mean, they're on Instagram and tiktok and everything else (that has way worse stuff). So I think it's more of a liability disclaimer.

pony4us

Keep in mind they are children and the advice given here is by adults, usually based on adlut experiences and not aimed at the needs of growing and developing children. That is probably why the 18 year rule.
True they are glued to social media...we can see just how great that has worked out.
Fortunately the OP was honest

AnnPT77

Yes, @nerdypeanutbutter, what was said above is really important.

Under 18, it's probable that you're still growing your full adult body size/shape. That's not just a matter of getting taller, but also body shape changing in various ways. I think you're female, so that includes things like hips broadening, reproductive organs fully maturing, getting to mature breast size, and more.

It is not a good idea to short-change things like bone strength and muscle development - things you're at prime age to develop as a foundation for healthy adulthood - by cutting calories severely at this time. If you do good things now, they'll pay off later. (I promise - from my perspective as a 67-year-old woman who now has things like osteoporosis and osteoarthritis that I wouldn't have if I'd been smarter at your age.)

If your goal is appearance, you would be better served by establishing a fun, productive exercise routine - strength training and some enjoyable cardiovascular exercise - while keeping your weight fairly steady. Doing that would gradually transform your body in a positive direction.

Please don't compete to see who can get skinnier faster. If you must compete, compete on something like doing a couch to 5k plan consistently then running a 5k race(s), or learning how to lift weight safely and correctly then see who can safely progress faster at the weight training. That would be a slower competition, but ever so much healthful. (Don't be extreme, be sensible about exercise goals, too!).