Anyone else's about me look like this?

RichardAllenWayne

About Me:

I'm 32 year old guy struggling with weight loss. Many times I have failed but I want to succeed. Edit: I'm now 34 and this is 7/27/2017 and I am just now starting back. I'm heavier than I was two years ago. Lets do this better. Edit: I am now 35 and failure isn't an option. I have joined a gym and will be going 5 days a week minimum. I can do this. Richard is winning. Edit: I am 38 now and guess what. I'm still fat. That is all. Edit: I am two months from 40. Guess what, still fat. Ugh.

snowflake954

Well, moving more is good, but if you really want to lose weight you'll need to stay within a daily calorie budget. Most of us calorie count to do that. You need a digital food scale and start weighing and measuring all food and drink. What have you got to lose? A calorie deficit is what you need. Otherwise you risk being even bigger next year. Take control. Good luck.

PS: One thing people don't realize when starting is that to keep the weight off long term, you need to set up good habits and know your portion sizes. This is for the rest of your life. I read your past thread. You've gotten good advice there. Maybe you want to re-read it.

Clothesthatilike

Yep, I can definitely relate. I have started so many times and tried so many diet plans over the years. I've done well for a while and then it's fizzled out. Don't beat yourself up about the past. We have a complex emotional relationship with food.

I think the key is to truly identify why you want to lose weight. Sadly, many people, including myself, finally do it when they've had a health scare. I think the problem is that we focus on wanting to be slim by, say, the time we're forty, or a particular event is happening, or whatever. Instead, we need to focus on what kind of person we want to be. Do we want to be someone who can run up the stairs without collapsing, or who can play with our kids, nephews, grandchildren, or who could walk to the shops instead of driving etc. But calorie counting, bring honest with yourself and logging every single morsel and not wasting calories on drinks, is definitely the best way to start. It's postponing the short term pleasure to enjoy other rewards later.

sollyn23l2

Try not to see it in terms of failing. Look at it as each day trying the best you can. Have realistic, achievable, measurable goals. How many pounds do you want to lose this month? How do you plan to do that? Make sure it'd a plan you're willing to follow through on.

neanderthin

Well, I do hope you do better this time around. And to answer your question, yes, almost everyone that tries, fails, so your certainly not alone. Understanding why that is is probably a good base to start from and coming up with a better plan isn't out of the question, your still young. Cheers.

springlering62

Change your mind set.

If you're like a happy pig rolling around in the muck of past failures, then that mud is going to stick.

Wash yourself off and truly give yourself a new beginning.

I can sincerely say, at my now advanced age and experience lol, what you tell yourself, even subliminally, is what you are and will be.

It’s not til you sit and and tell yourself “I’m here, and dammit, I deserve better” and change those thoughts, that you can make a change.

AnnPT77

You don't say much about what you've tried before, other than the "5 days of gym" thing.

A common pattern - which "5 days of gym" seems to fit - is to adopt some starry-eyed ambition to eat only good foods, drop all bad/junk foods, lose weight fast, and start some intense schedule of exercise alongside.

From reading posts here, that "pedal to the metal" pattern has a honeymoon period while motivation is high, but it quickly becomes unsustainable. It's difficult, it's a lot of change to swallow at once, we expect revolutionary fat loss and fitness gain quickly (which isn't going to happen) so we get discouraged . . . so slips start to happen, and eventually long breaks or giving up altogether. Seems like most people making extreme changes with high motivation don't last very long.

For any of us with a meaningful total amount of weight to lose (me, for one), realistically weight loss is going to take many weeks to many months, maybe even multiple years. Can anyone rely on "motivation" or "willpower" that long? I know I can't.

That puts a priority on finding changes in our routine habits that are pretty easy to stick with when other parts of life get difficult or demanding, because that will happen. Even if we can't keep moving in a positive direction, but have some better habits in place, it can be realistic to lose for a while, maintain weight for a while on autopilot with the new habits. That's better than the "do extreme things, give up, regain pounds with friends" scenario.

So, maybe start logging your food (again) but just log what you eat now. Notice things that it would be pretty easy and painless for you to eat in smaller portions, or less often; or substitutions for current foods that are things you still enjoy, but that are lower in calories. Make those changes, and turn them into routine habits. When you have a burst of "motivation", add some other manageable changes in eating or activity habits. Just keep going.

Yes, loss will be less dramatic, but better odds that it can keep going long term, ideally forever. Don't think "lose weight fast". Think "tolerable, practical new habits with better long-term outcomes". It can work.

It's the majority of our days that determine the majority of our outcome, so focus there rather than on any slip-ups that may occur. Just learn from the slip-ups, adjust your plan/patterns/habits, and keep going.

I started out with an obese bodyweight (at age 59), and had been overweight to obese for about 30 years before that. Now I've been at a healthy weight for 7+ years, after about a year of losing weight. I made a rule for myself that I wasn't going to do anything to lose weight that I wasn't willing to continue long-term to stay at a healthy weight, other than that sensibly moderate calorie deficit during weight loss. For me, that's worked out pretty well, and the benefits (in improved quality of life) have been huge.

I'm not saying that's the only way to go, because no one thing works for everyone. But give it some thought, maybe. Learn from what didn't work for you before, for sure.

I'm cheering for you to succeed, because it's for sure worth it.

Afterthought: This is one thread where I kinda wish @88olds were here. Maybe he'll show up, dunno.

hoarc1987

RichardAllenWayne wrote: »

About Me:

I'm 32 year old guy struggling with weight loss. Many times I have failed but I want to succeed. Edit: I'm now 34 and this is 7/27/2017 and I am just now starting back. I'm heavier than I was two years ago. Lets do this better. Edit: I am now 35 and failure isn't an option. I have joined a gym and will be going 5 days a week minimum. I can do this. Richard is winning. Edit: I am 38 now and guess what. I'm still fat. That is all. Edit: I am two months from 40. Guess what, still fat. Ugh.

Yeah! Same thoughts in 10th grade, when I was 22, 28, 33, and now 36! Always starting from the beginning and just getting fatter.

You need to build up slowly and do something to stay focused like post on this forum. I think the problem is we aren’t getting enough experience actually doing gym stuff and eating sport food to build up mental and muscle memory.

What things do you know? What gym have you signed up for? What do you have experience doing there?