Everyone who is here at healthy weight but thinks there fat say ✋

Serenity_HATES_HERSELF

What the title says

Simp4Haato

I’m stuck in the overweight category with 0.6 BMI short of reading the healthy area.

I’ve got a similar body type as my older brother of a couple of years and he’s considered more overweight than me even though he regularly participates in an indoor sport. I have a ton of belly fat and eat less yet the rest of my body dwarfs his* in muscle.

You might feel fat but you may have forgotten that genetics also matter. Your body type may look more bloated than your other friends- giving you the impression of seemingly appearing fat.

springlering62

Serenity, I’m guessing that something really awful happened to you today.

Want to talk about it?

Nothing and no one is worth making you feel that down on yourself.

Internet hugs, sweetie. It’s the best I can do from here.

Serenity_HATES_HERSELF

Springlering62 Nah I just have low self-esteem

springlering62

Serenity, my most vivid memories of my mother are of her hitting herself in the head, and screaming at the mirror,” D, you big fat ugly *kitten*” and then crying.

When I reached my early teens she’d tell me,” I feel sorry for you. You look just like me. You’re so homely.”

Did literally beating herself up make her pretty or thin? Did cutting me down make her look or feel any better?

Words have power. Words from loved ones can cut like knives and we carry their wounds our whole lives.

Words we say to ourselves, though, those words are the most powerful of all.

All I can tell you, from experience, is change the words you use to define yourself. Look in the mirror and find something you like about yourself. Put it on a post it note if you have to. Make yourself see it. Repeat it to yourself.

And for gods sake, remember children are watching and absorbing, learning and copying.

You know what? I’m still no great beauty outside, even after large weight loss. That doesn’t change. But, dammit, I’m awesome inside.

One of my yoga instructors ends every class saying “Be kind to yourself. If you can’t be kind to yourself, how can you expect others to be?”

MsCzar

I always thought of myself as having been a fat kid. Recently, I came across some old photos of myself. While I wasn't rail thin, I certainly wasn't fat. I was an average looking child who was healthy and active.
When I think of all the things I didn't do, the activities I avoided and the connections I didn't make because I thought of myself as fat and ugly, the waste is truly staggering. I spent so much time putting my life on hold until "after." Since I already felt fat, it was easy to gain weight and become obese for real because that was already my what I saw in the mirror.
I am now in my 60's and the only advice I have is to not let a some dubious BMI number or your perceptions stop you from embracing your life right now and being a healthy happy human.