Compulsive Eating

pinkcommodity

I really struggle with what I call "vindictive eating." It's basically an uncontrollable urge I get to eat something for absolutely no reason. I'm not anywhere emotionally, I'm not bored, I'm not hungry, but it's like knowing that I shouldn't is the very reason that I know I will. I really GO for it sometimes, not quite binge status - but enough that I can't really account for it in my regular meal/snack tracking (I generally try to eat below a certain margin of my calorie goal to ensure I stay on track), which is where the "vindictive" part comes from. I follow a lot of health/wellness personalities, and there's a theme of 'what NOT to say to your kid/daughter' now, and my mom was a repeat offender. I think this may be related, but maybe this ties in? How do you all break the habit? Does anybody else struggle with this?

sollyn23l2

You're the only one that can take control of your actions. Sitting around saying "this happened to me, so now I overeat" isn't really going to get you anywhere. You said you "can't really account for it in my regular tracking". Yes, you can. Be honest with yourself. Record what you're eating so you're truly honest with yourself about how much your eating. Don't blame yourself, just record and acknowledge it. That will help you identify when and where you're going off the rails, which is the only real way you can deal with it.

cmriverside

I am with sollyn.

You can track the food. As a matter of fact I found that tracking everything (even those binge-y events) slowed me down enough to gain control over it. Logging gave me that minute or so of a break to say, "What the heck am I doing." If I make it a rule to log it before I eat it, that pretty much stops the binge.

As far as blaming anyone other than your own hand and your own mouth? I found no one was force feeding me. I was doing it. Me.

If you can't overcome your mother's past words, maybe a little therapy would help. I mean, we are all affected by what our parents did - for good or bad.

With that said, if your calories are set too low, you will continue to do this in a regular way. Your body will win over your desire to lose weight if you're under-feeding in general.

herringboxes

Maybe you rebelled against your mother’s attempted control of you.

Understandable.

You can take it to the next level by making your own choices now, rather than reacting to her.

If you are eating things counter to your goals, she is still controlling you.

Are you afraid that eating the way you would like to would vindicate her (in actuality or just her voice in your head)? You can tell her/her voice that, no, she was not right all along, and your maturity has allowed you to grow past all of that despite her harmful input. That you are going to leave that behind now and not carry her burden anymore.

mychellelynne

I am you. I am in therapy right now for binge eating and I am trying to control my urges and heal. One thing that has helped me is finding podcasts that talk about food and binge eating. When I hear others speak about their relationships with food it makes me feel less alone. This is new to me so not a ton of advice but I really am trying to track my foods (even if I over eat) and try to find their root cause.

arobey11

I have a similar situation when I don't log, but I call it rebellious eating - it's like my brain rebels against the control I have over my eating when I'm actively logging and working towards losing weight. I stopped logging last summer, got into the rebellious eating (omg why shouldn't I enjoy my life and have allll the cheese and tiramisu and butter...) and now I'm at my highest weight ever in my life and starting again. I've managed to wrap my brain around the truth that aside from vacations/special meals, etc., I'm going to be logging my food for the rest of my life - and that's ok.

What helps me is staying mindful about how much better I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally when I'm eating right and taking care of myself. Logging my food flips a switch in my brain for some reason that focuses me on eating more fruits and vegetables, paying attention to my protein, fiber, and sodium intake, and spending more time being active and in meditation for my mental health. I sleep better, my ankles aren't swollen, and I no longer come upstairs for bed at night feeling like my stomach is so full I can't breathe properly.

BeanieBean93

I'm working through an eating disorder right now and I've been in different states of recovery for years. I finally made the decision to be done with it and actually recover. A big part of this has been working with a dietician who is helping me work through my food qualms and separate my anorexic thoughts from my logical thoughts. In doing this, I've realized that the thoughts creep in when I'm overwhelmed, anxious or I feel like I'm in over my head. It might not be a direct emotion, but is there a certain time of day or around a certain event that you feel the urges?

If you don't want to track the food, that's okay. But maybe just tracking the time and making note of other things that happened that day. I know, for me, if I fight with my fiance or make a mistake at work, I completely lose interest in food and will skip eating in order to get more work done. I thought it was fine because I was making up for something but in reality, I was using it to punish myself for messing up. Or maybe, you do it when you're trying to avoid something else? I knew that if I didn't eat, I'd be tired so I could just sleep all day and avoid other things.

Maybe some of this resonates with you and maybe not at all. That's okay too. Just realizing that you're doing something maladaptive is a big step.