Shame and positive body image

jsmestflowers

Ok, this is a thing, and like many things, I want to get my .02 cents in here.

I am overweight by a bit. I need to lose around 50 pounds, but I am pretty pleased. Should someone try to body shame me, my response, if I bothered with the fool, would be this.

Yeah? Fatty eh? Well, let's think about that.
Firstly I am objectively a better person than you, and I can say that as a matter of fact because I do not need to validate myself at the expense of others.
Secondly, I am happier than you because I do not need to fill my ego by making others feel bad or exercising sadistic behavior. You're going to figure out one day that taking pleasure in causing others pain is a hole you can never fill; you will be empty, and I won't. Not in spirit, or as you pointed out, in the stomach either.

Third, if you think that you're doing me a favor or motivating me, you're lying to yourself; you know why you do that, and it's not for my benefit. Come on now; it's not like you're going home crying at night because you had to force yourself to be a mean person. Who is delusional now? Certainly not me.

Yeah, I may be eating that cupcake at night when you are washing down your second Xanex with your third glass of wine.

By and by, chances are really good that I make a LOT more money than you, have a much better marriage, have kids that love and respect me, and also, although not now, as I am married, I have never had the first problem getting a date.

You? Yeah, can't say all that, can you? Didnt, think so. The reality is that in every way that matters, I am better than you. Find someone else to make you feel better about yourself, you may have thought you were talking to a sheep, but I am a fat wolf and I bite.

In truth, friends: I have NO shame, I have a positive view of my body, and yes, I am fat and happy. I need to lose weight; everyone needs to do something and work on themselves somehow. I have to the opportunity to improve, but that certainly does not mean I have anything to be ashamed of. I am a badass now. I will be when I lose weight. Nothing will change except my weight.

Shamed? People should be ashamed that they are not of good character, high morality, kind and compassionate. That fat may hide the Hercules lurking undeath it, but it can not hide the light of nobility.

-Or I could just say, I can lose weight; can you lose ugly?

You really can feel great about yourself, body positive, and still lose weight if you want to but beauty is in character.

And that is my .02

HOWL!
J

snowflake954

Could I ask what happened to you to make this "hypothetical" rant? Or, are you just supposing people are thinking this way about you?
There's a lot of anger here. It may help give you motivation to stick to your plan for a while, but it can eat you up inside.

jsmestflowers

Nothing happened to me, amigo. I have seen it happen to other people, and seen many people hurt by this, and yet, I still hear people "support" this cruelty. I get angry over the mistreatment of others; I can put myself in their shoes (empathy). Yeah, that kind of thing does make me mad.

The point I was making is that when someone attempts to shame someone; they are saying MUCH more about themselves than the person they are attempting to humiliate.

Motivation, I agree with you. Anger is poor motivation. The point I was attempting to make is DON'T LET ANYONE BRING YOU DOWN. Keep being awesome!

Hey, thanks for your concern. I can assure you that I am not an angst-filled anger-driven person, cept when I see people treated cruelly, then I do react strongly.

snowflake954

Well, your post talks in the first person--YOU personally. Not like you're describing something happening to someone else. Perhaps you could describe this shaming episode? And then we could understand why you're all fired up?

jsmestflowers

No, I wrote *Should* someone try to body shame me. My response, if I bothered with the fool, *would be* this. I then "ranted" about what I would say
You even called it a "hypothetical."
Honestly, you don't know me. If you did, you would know that I have no problems saying when something happens to me personally. I am not one of those people that say something happened to a friend when they mean themselves. People do that to feel safe, I don't need that, and I hate that other people feel that they have to do that.

Sounded like it happened to me personally. Well, thank you for the praise of my writing ability

I get up whenever I see someone treated badly, simple as that.