I have no idea what being slim feels like

drivingahead

Around 5 years ago I was 29 stone just over 400lbs. I am a 6ft tall female living in the UK. I remember being around 13 and my mum taking me clothes shopping and even at that age I was not far off 6ft. I remember trying the clothes on again when I got home and doing a little fashion show for my mum and dad. I had long lean legs that is all I remember. I am down 76lbs with probably another 120lbs to go. I joined slimming world in the UK 5 months ago and have lost 2st 10lbs so far. A huge part of me, of course wants to just be slim as soon as possible, but I have come to realise (having done so many diets over the years) that this time I am actually enjoying the journey. Before I used to diet with the view that once the weight was lost I could eat all my favourite treats - I remember saying to my sister once when I hit goal I'm going to have a massive blow out meal - in my head I just thought well I could do that as I wouldn't then have to loose 200lbs to get that massive blow out off and just get right back on track. My mindset now has totally changed this is my life now eating well balance healthy meals and snacks with treats like meals out every few weeks or so. I have not eaten bread or chocolate in those 5 months and not because I'm trying to be good but I actually don't want it anymore - my taste buds have changed and my go to now is mixed berries and yoghurt for a sweet hit.
I find it hard sometimes to relate to the slimmers in my slimming world group - most of them only have a stone or two to loose and that's not me being dismissive to them that is probably a big amount to them but they can still walk into a normal clothes shop and pick anything off the rails - I have not been able to do that since I was 13. I have no idea really what I will look like - will I still have those long lean legs from years ago or lots of excess skin. Did I get so overweight as protection as I used to get a lot of attention from men who thought I was 18 when I was only 13, so did I eat and get bigger to keep them away because that was scary but then on the flip side the bigger you get the more you stand out so maybe I was desperate for some sort of attention.
I would love to hear from people have lost a lot of weight and how does the reality compares to what you imagined?
I am proud of my weight loss but then also feel as I lose more and people ask me how much I have lost, that I know I will feel embarrassed that I let it get that far and what must they think.

Womona

Congratulations! It sounds like you have a healthy approach to your weight loss. I can only imagine being supermodel tall as a 13 year old, which is difficult enough because you stand out when you want to fit it. But unwanted sexual attention at that age by older men is a big ick!!!!! I’ve had it too at that age as a skinny girl and it’s just gross. As for how much weight you’ve lost, “I’d rather not discuss it” is a perfectly acceptable answer!

springlering62

Oh wow. Your post hits me in so many ways.

As a kid and newlywed, I was a stick. For the next three decades I worked my way up to obese, then I had my “moment” (actually an accumulation of them) and decided to lose.

I’ve lost 100, it was too low, I lost muscle, so I’ve deliberately put about 15 back on. But, it’s been a slow gain, and has been muscle. Size did not increase during the intentional gain.

I started at age 56 and am now 61.

My sincerest recommendation would be to start strength training, but to incorporate a wide variety of exercise with it.

I feel fortunate that doing cardio, weights, yoga, Pilates, walking, all have contributed in their own way to my new shape. I’ll get some kickback from absolutists here who hate the term, but I’ve “toned”, “lengthened muscles” as they say in Pilates, and strengthened my core. I had a brief flirtation with extra skin when I woke up to a drooping butt or cellulite type lumps everywhere, but I stayed on path, and both resolved within days. It was a shock.

You can’t make your body lose in specific places. Your kinda stuck where genetics decrees, but you can work to improve those areas- which may take years- or to camouflage them.

My loose skin is around my lower waist, below the belly button. It is what it is, and compressive leggings rope it in very well.

My body is still changing nearly five years in, and even at my age.

For example, I got a pedi a couple of days ago, looked down, and didn’t even recognize my feet. They were long and slender. I always thought I had ugly feet, right? Nope they were feet fettered by fat and weight. Even the calluses are smaller without the heavy weight.

In the gym dressing room and working as a volunteer dresser at a local theater, I’ve seen what happens when people have large loss and don’t exercise or incorporate strength training. The best way to describe it is like too-big pantyhose pooling down around limbs and belly.

Strength training doesn’t have to be crazy. I’ve seen ladies get good results at our Group Power classes, which are very similar to Les Mills (?) classes I took when I visited my daughter’s gym. They used light weights. But I do find barbells and squats and gym equipment fun and challenging, even though I’ll never win an award for my piddly *kitten* numbers.

I DO go off the rails. Travel wipes me out, and I’ve had a lot lately due to a new grandbaby and a family issue overseas. As soon as I get home I immediately go back on plan. It may take a couple of months to drop the travel pounds but I know they reliably do come off.

Another joyous thing about large loss is that I no longer GAF what other people think. We’re so absorbed in thinking people think about US all the time we forget their main interest is themselves. I have found myself arguing with people who don’t remember me obese at all, which staggers me. The only remember you “in the moment”. They’ll ask you about the loss,but you’re less than a nine days wonder to them. More like nine seconds before their thoughts flit somewhere else.

You’re doing absolutely wonderful. Don’t let “future”
worries hold “Present” you back.

Also, calling @coblujay anf @callsitlikeiseeit for comment.

PeachHibiscus

I'm almost 50. For me, I found that my body being slim and my brain feeling slim were two different things. And the two have not always matched during my life. When I first lost a great deal of weight, I had to fix my brain as much as I had to fix my body.

I have no idea what it was like to be thin as a kid or teenager. I remember starting to be overweight when I was 5 or 6 and becoming obese by the time I was a pre-teen. I'm only 5'0" and went over 200 pounds during college years. I was at my highest weight in the 260's when I was 24 and started an oral contraceptive which caused a significant blood pressure increase. I had a grandfather who died of heart disease in his 40's and having readings of 180/110 at that young of an age scared me and I started losing weight.

Over two years I lost about 140 pounds by changing what I ate and by exercising. I looked and felt amazing. I got a new bike and started riding everywhere. I would ride 50 miles easily and have energy for more. I wore cute little dresses that emphasized my figure. For a brief time my body and brain were in harmony and then it started to change.

Part of it was the loose skin. I carried the majority of my weight in my stomach so when I lost it, I was left with a skin apron that hung. No amount of exercise or strength training will make that go away completely. I hated it.

Part of it was my own mind. Looking in a mirror, my eyes would see a thin person. Other people would see a thin person. But in my mind, I started thinking I was still fat and needed to lose more weight. This was the 90's during the low-fat/no-fat craze. I was not aware of body dysmorphia back then so I wasn't concerned by my thoughts and didn't think this was something I should talk to anyone about.

I became obsessed with the number on the scale, and with exercising, and with the types of food I ate. My whole life started to revolve around my weight. I started restricting food and anytime I ate, I had to exercise a certain amount of time to "work it off." I no longer had a social life because when I wasn't working, I was exercising. I did wind up losing more weight, which was probably muscle, and with it I lost my energy. I eventually had a 10 year struggle with bulimia.

When I was 29 I had an abdominoplasty to remove the skin apron. It was money well spent. I used to think that if I had done it two years earlier, I might have saved myself the insane amount of exercise and bulimia. I know now that's not true. While other people did make comments about my weight loss, my biggest critic, and the only one whose opinion ever mattered to me, was myself. And while I might have fixed my body, I hadn't fixed my brain.

I had to learn that while losing weight did provide a lot of healthy benefits, it doesn't automatically make you happy with yourself. That has to come from within. I had to learn balance. I went from one extreme of eating whatever and whenever I wanted to severely restricting food and punishing myself with exercise. Neither is healthy. I had to learn acceptance. It is unrealistic to be perfect. Nobody is and there is absolutely no reason why I would need to be.

The most important thing I had to learn was that I only have one body and I only have one life so I need to be kind to myself and I should enjoy and appreciate myself every day.

springlering62

Oh yes. Body Dysmorphia.

As an obese person, I always took the photos or dodged the photos. I have very few “before” photos. Luckily, the first trainer I had -about 50 pounds or so loss in- insisted on photos and video at every session.

Those photos were a lifeline. I saw Fat Me in the mirror. I saw some other woman in the photos. It took a year or so for the two Me’s to merge.

Have someone you trust take photos. Save them. Compare them. Study them. As dorky as it sounds, savor the differences in the photos in the mirror. Make sure your brain connects the two.

Be willing to rethink your goals. I “thought” my wedding day weight of 125 was my ideal goal. I was within two pounds of it when that same trainer, who I loved dearly, sent a horrifying photo of me from behind, with a note to the effect,”I love you but if you drop any more weight, I’m dropping you.” That photo and text were what it took to snap me out of stupid. I looked like a grandaddy longlegs. I didn’t think I was anorexic but she was experienced and she saw the fledgling signs, and cared enough to risk a close relationship.

Weight at one age sits way different on your body than the same weight a decade or four later.


And final, best advice I ever got here on MFP, once you do reach maintenance, treat every day as if you still have ten pounds to lose.