How do you keep eating under control when ur so stressed out ?

Untilproud11

Hello
I just need some advice on how to not let the “Bad” days of my bipolar husband mess with my eating
I do really well for a few days but then Im under so much stress for another few due to his issues that I lose it all and go back to square one
How can I keep my eating out of this stuff?
How do you keep eating under control when ur so stressed out ?

herringboxes

I hear ya, hon. Stress makes things incredibly difficult.

First, figure out exactly what is going on. For example, do you get too tired to prepare foods and then resort to takeout or junk food?

Or are you trying to emotionally soothe with treats?

Or something else?

Whatever you can do to reduce your stress is well worth it. I don’t say that lightly, I know it’s not so simple.

Psychgrrl

Find another way to cope with the stress other than eating. Music, exercise, computer game … something. It makes makes no sense to take your stress out on yourself (literally) by over-eating.

zebasschick

i do my best - i love to read, play bass guitar, paint and play video games.

but when i feel the need, i simply eat different things. i pour my own popsicles made from 0 calorie sodas and water with 0 calorie water enhancers. i've figured out my favorite flavors, and i make sure i always have some around. juicy gels sugar free strawberry and orange gel cups are 5 calories each. frozen riced cauliflower is low in calories, and two of my favorite salad dressings are pretty low in calories. dannon light & fit greek yogurt is only 80 calories each, and i love both the cherry and the vanilla. jello cook and serve chocolate pudding plus non-fat milk is yummy - it's good hot or cold. and i have lots more things i can eat with low enough calories to where it's not a big deal.

DFW_Tom

Untilproud11 wrote: »

Hello
I just need some advice on how to not let the “Bad” days of my bipolar husband mess with my eating
I do really well for a few days but then Im under so much stress for another few due to his issues that I lose it all and go back to square one
How can I keep my eating out of this stuff?
How do you keep eating under control when ur so stressed out ?

Great question! There are no perfect ways to deal with the different forms of stress that we encounter in today's world, but there are a lot of bad ways of trying to relieve stress that are readily available and provide a brief respite. Over indulgence in tasty treats to obtain a few minutes of feeling at peace is one of them. Especially if calorie restriction has been adding to the stress load a person is carrying around.

"How can I keep my eating out of this stuff?" Recognize what is going on. That going off your meal plan is nothing more than a coping mechanism to temporarily blunt the stress of an entirely different problem. It doesn't solve anything, and the associated guilt might even add to your stress load. Your husband's problems are his and unless he is willing to let you help solve them, they remain his problems alone. You can hurt for him, be mad about his bipolarism, but trying to argue with an unreasonable personality is counterproductive.

It occurs to me that you might be saying your way of eating is what sets him off. Should that be the case, know that you need to do you, and he can do him. He doesn't have to eat like you do and can fend for himself. Everyone is different. Again, his problems are his alone unless he lets you help him.

"How do you keep eating under control when ur so stressed out ?" First and foremost, keep your way of eating stress free and sustainable. Make it your forever-way-of-eating. Most diets fail, primarily because they are temporary and stressful. With a healthy way of eating there is nothing to keep under control. It is just how you eat. Going off you meal plan then is not really any different than trying to cope with the aid of nicotine, alcohol or drugs.

@Untilproud11 your real question is how to deal with stress. I'm sure volumes have been written about just that. The easiest way I have found is to not let it build up. Know that what ever is causing the stress is just another problem that is solvable and I just need to deal with it, or the cause is out of my control and not worthy of my time to think about. If the stress is coming from another person, I get away from them. Go on a walk, go to a different room, lose myself in a book, exercise - anything I can to get my mind on something else for awhile. If the stress is work related I try to let it wash over me and realize the situation is what it is. If it is bad enough I'd change jobs, or in my case as a contractor, I've dropped customers that were making my life miserable. Life is too short to be miserable.

I am sorry that your spouse is causing you grief. At some point you are going to have to deal with it the best you can. Since none of us know exactly what is going on with you, or him, or your lives it is impossible to give specific advice. I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how it is going.

kshama2001

For years I managed stress with exercise, and increased my activity during times of increased stress. Then the pandemic hit and that wasn't enough, so I sought therapy.

Years ago, I had a really hard time living with a bipolar housemate, so I feel ya!

Is he medicated and in therapy? Are you two in couples therapy?

Untilproud11

kshama2001 wrote: »

For years I managed stress with exercise, and increased my activity during times of increased stress. Then the pandemic hit and that wasn't enough, so I sought therapy.

Years ago, I had a really hard time living with a bipolar housemate, so I feel ya!

Is he medicated and in therapy? Are you two in couples therapy?

Thank you for ur time
No hes not medicated and will NOT go to any kind of therapy , he thinks hes “FINE”

Untilproud11

DFW_Tom wrote: »

Untilproud11 wrote: »

Hello
I just need some advice on how to not let the “Bad” days of my bipolar husband mess with my eating
I do really well for a few days but then Im under so much stress for another few due to his issues that I lose it all and go back to square one
How can I keep my eating out of this stuff?
How do you keep eating under control when ur so stressed out ?

Great question! There are no perfect ways to deal with the different forms of stress that we encounter in today's world, but there are a lot of bad ways of trying to relieve stress that are readily available and provide a brief respite. Over indulgence in tasty treats to obtain a few minutes of feeling at peace is one of them. Especially if calorie restriction has been adding to the stress load a person is carrying around.

"How can I keep my eating out of this stuff?" Recognize what is going on. That going off your meal plan is nothing more than a coping mechanism to temporarily blunt the stress of an entirely different problem. It doesn't solve anything, and the associated guilt might even add to your stress load. Your husband's problems are his and unless he is willing to let you help solve them, they remain his problems alone. You can hurt for him, be mad about his bipolarism, but trying to argue with an unreasonable personality is counterproductive.

It occurs to me that you might be saying your way of eating is what sets him off. Should that be the case, know that you need to do you, and he can do him. He doesn't have to eat like you do and can fend for himself. Everyone is different. Again, his problems are his alone unless he lets you help him.

"How do you keep eating under control when ur so stressed out ?" First and foremost, keep your way of eating stress free and sustainable. Make it your forever-way-of-eating. Most diets fail, primarily because they are temporary and stressful. With a healthy way of eating there is nothing to keep under control. It is just how you eat. Going off you meal plan then is not really any different than trying to cope with the aid of nicotine, alcohol or drugs.

@Untilproud11 your real question is how to deal with stress. I'm sure volumes have been written about just that. The easiest way I have found is to not let it build up. Know that what ever is causing the stress is just another problem that is solvable and I just need to deal with it, or the cause is out of my control and not worthy of my time to think about. If the stress is coming from another person, I get away from them. Go on a walk, go to a different room, lose myself in a book, exercise - anything I can to get my mind on something else for awhile. If the stress is work related I try to let it wash over me and realize the situation is what it is. If it is bad enough I'd change jobs, or in my case as a contractor, I've dropped customers that were making my life miserable. Life is too short to be miserable.

I am sorry that your spouse is causing you grief. At some point you are going to have to deal with it the best you can. Since none of us know exactly what is going on with you, or him, or your lives it is impossible to give specific advice. I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how it is going.

I really appreciate ur reply
I am trying my best to net let his toddler meltdowns affect my eating but its not easy at all!
As you mentioned its good to maybe go away but I have kids and I cant just simply leave whenever I feel like …

herringboxes

One way to lessen stress on your part is to understand that his choices are his and yours are yours. So you are not responsible for helping him, fixing him, softening the natural consequences of his actions or inactions, helping his relationships with other people, or anything else like that.

You are also not obligated to tolerate poor behavior toward you or that affects you. You can leave the house and get coffee, stay with a friend, check into a hotel, or, frankly, leave altogether.

There are things that belong to you, and things that beling to him, and you can claim what belings to you (such as the right to be treated respectfully, feel safe in your home, be able to sleep, make healthy choices for eating and exercise, and so on), and leave the things that belong to him with him (such as getting treatment, repairing relationships that he strained, treating others safely and respectfully, managing his own feelings and anxiety, etc.). This can help reduce stress because it’s too hard to carry someone else’s weight - it’s one thing for us to lean on others a bit during hard times, but another altogether to foist our burdens on others or refuse to stand on our own two feet.

Untilproud11

herringboxes wrote: »

One way to lessen stress on your part is to understand that his choices are his and yours are yours. So you are not responsible for helping him, fixing him, softening the natural consequences of his actions or inactions, helping his relationships with other people, or anything else like that.

You are also not obligated to tolerate poor behavior toward you or that affects you. You can leave the house and get coffee, stay with a friend, check into a hotel, or, frankly, leave altogether.

There are things that belong to you, and things that beling to him, and you can claim what belings to you (such as the right to be treated respectfully, feel safe in your home, be able to sleep, make healthy choices for eating and exercise, and so on), and leave the things that belong to him with him (such as getting treatment, repairing relationships that he strained, treating others safely and respectfully, managing his own feelings and anxiety, etc.). This can help reduce stress because it’s too hard to carry someone else’s weight - it’s one thing for us to lean on others a bit during hard times, but another altogether to foist our burdens on others or refuse to stand on our own two feet.

So true!
I really needed this

elisa123gal

You've done the most important thing; you've recogonized you blow your diet when his condition flares. Now, you have to make a firm decision and committment that you can't let another person who has a condition you cannot cure or fix determine your physical health and image. The first few times you are successful at not letting his episodes impact what you're eating.. you will get stronger and no longer let that impact you.
Also..change your routine or what you've been doing ..and get rid of the food items that tempt you.. if they are not on hand you won't eat them. Stay strong.. you can do this.