Did you freak out over many decisions about dieting at the beginning?

sugarfreesquirrel
sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Do you get used to it, and start to relax about fluctuations in calories and weight on the scales? I've seen people here who will have one high calorie day or more in a week then stick to the original plan the rest of the week and be fine with it. I feel like I need to make up for high calorie days on other days, like tomorrow I want to skip my cheat meal because I am indulging big time tonight.

Replies

  • sugarfreesquirrel
    sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    Do you get used to it, and start to relax about fluctuations in calories and weight on the scales? I've seen people here who will have one high calorie day or more in a week then stick to the original plan the rest of the week and be fine with it. I feel like I need to make up for high calorie days on other days, like tomorrow I want to skip my cheat meal because I am indulging big time tonight.
    Don’t have cheat meals. Include those foods as part of your diet. High days are fine as long as the overall weekly calories allow you to hit your calorie deficit target.

    Add 7 days worth of calories, divide that number by 7. This is you actual daily calorie amount average. This is the number to look at.

    I've already done that. I have premium and have three high calorie/treat days and four medium calorie days.
  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,755 Member
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    Do you get used to it, and start to relax about fluctuations in calories and weight on the scales? I've seen people here who will have one high calorie day or more in a week then stick to the original plan the rest of the week and be fine with it. I feel like I need to make up for high calorie days on other days, like tomorrow I want to skip my cheat meal because I am indulging big time tonight.
    Don’t have cheat meals. Include those foods as part of your diet. High days are fine as long as the overall weekly calories allow you to hit your calorie deficit target.

    Add 7 days worth of calories, divide that number by 7. This is you actual daily calorie amount average. This is the number to look at.

    I've already done that. I have premium and have three high calorie/treat days and four medium calorie days.

    Why have high calorie/low calorie days if it causes you this much mental stress? I'm going to agree with Tom. Keep your calories roughly the same every day. Fit in foods you like ever day. "Cheat days" or "low calorie/restrict" days will often lead to disordered eating. It looks from your thinking like you're heading in that direction.
  • sugarfreesquirrel
    sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    Add 7 days worth of calories, divide that number by 7. This is you actual daily calorie amount average. This is the number to look at.

    I mean, when people have an unexpected high calorie day, they just roll with it and pretend it didn't happen, continuing on as usual, not eating less the next day to make up for it.
  • sugarfreesquirrel
    sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
    sollyn23l2 wrote: »
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    Do you get used to it, and start to relax about fluctuations in calories and weight on the scales? I've seen people here who will have one high calorie day or more in a week then stick to the original plan the rest of the week and be fine with it. I feel like I need to make up for high calorie days on other days, like tomorrow I want to skip my cheat meal because I am indulging big time tonight.
    Don’t have cheat meals. Include those foods as part of your diet. High days are fine as long as the overall weekly calories allow you to hit your calorie deficit target.

    Add 7 days worth of calories, divide that number by 7. This is you actual daily calorie amount average. This is the number to look at.

    I've already done that. I have premium and have three high calorie/treat days and four medium calorie days.

    Why have high calorie/low calorie days if it causes you this much mental stress?

    I think I'm just stressed because I'm not used to eating to lose weight over a long period of time, I'm asking if it gets more relaxed over time when you know what to expect.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,941 Member
    This is very personal and I can only talk about me. When I know I can't have a snack on one day, but I can on the next I'd be very stressed out. I rather work snacks into my calorie allowance and enjoy them every day. Yeah, there might be days where I really want a pack of crisps. Then I eat it and not have dinner instead (unlikely to happen as crisps don't fill me up a lot) or I just accept that I'm over my calories and log it. Stressing over calories just makes me stressed and more likely to fail than accepting that they are part of a normal diet.
  • omegablack0530
    omegablack0530 Posts: 1 Member
    I mostly only have a cheat meal on vacations.An cheating for me is something like 90% chocolate an a banana.
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,221 Member
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    Add 7 days worth of calories, divide that number by 7. This is you actual daily calorie amount average. This is the number to look at.

    I mean, when people have an unexpected high calorie day, they just roll with it and pretend it didn't happen, continuing on as usual, not eating less the next day to make up for it.
    do that often enough and they won’t lose weight.

    Even one high day can wipe out a whole weeks deficit if the high day was high enough and the deficit the other 6 days was small enough.

  • westrich20940
    westrich20940 Posts: 920 Member
    Did you become 'overweight' after one weekend of eating whatever you wanted? Did you have to go buy a bigger size of jeans after just a few days of eating over your caloric needs?

    No.

    So, it's nothing to freak out about. Do not steal from yourself tomorrow to make up for today. MFP has your calorie goal set already at a deficit, so even if you overate today, you are likely not in excess of your caloric needs and even if you were - it's ONE day. Just get back on track. Have the meal you were planning on having tomorrow.

    Gaining weight happens due to consistently eating more calories than you need in a day over a period of time. Weight loss is the same, just the opposite. Consistently eat a little less calories than you use in a day and you will see consistent success. But there is a base level of calories your body needs just to function ( BMR ) and you shouldn't be eating less than that.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    sollyn23l2 wrote: »
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    Do you get used to it, and start to relax about fluctuations in calories and weight on the scales? I've seen people here who will have one high calorie day or more in a week then stick to the original plan the rest of the week and be fine with it. I feel like I need to make up for high calorie days on other days, like tomorrow I want to skip my cheat meal because I am indulging big time tonight.
    Don’t have cheat meals. Include those foods as part of your diet. High days are fine as long as the overall weekly calories allow you to hit your calorie deficit target.

    Add 7 days worth of calories, divide that number by 7. This is you actual daily calorie amount average. This is the number to look at.

    I've already done that. I have premium and have three high calorie/treat days and four medium calorie days.

    Why have high calorie/low calorie days if it causes you this much mental stress?

    I think I'm just stressed because I'm not used to eating to lose weight over a long period of time, I'm asking if it gets more relaxed over time when you know what to expect.

    It did for me :smiley:

    I used to get stressed about eating out or family gatherings, but got over this. I'm used to logging every gram and either not being able to or it not being practical was stressful at first, but eventually I realized these rare occasions did not impede my programs - it was the day-to-day consistency that was more important to me.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,203 Member
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    Do you get used to it, and start to relax about fluctuations in calories and weight on the scales? I've seen people here who will have one high calorie day or more in a week then stick to the original plan the rest of the week and be fine with it. I feel like I need to make up for high calorie days on other days, like tomorrow I want to skip my cheat meal because I am indulging big time tonight.
    Don’t have cheat meals. Include those foods as part of your diet. High days are fine as long as the overall weekly calories allow you to hit your calorie deficit target.

    Add 7 days worth of calories, divide that number by 7. This is you actual daily calorie amount average. This is the number to look at.

    I've already done that. I have premium and have three high calorie/treat days and four medium calorie days.

    I feel like you've set up this very structured thing for yourself (by choice), and now you're feeling stressed by it. I don't mean to be accusatory in saying this, but are you making things more difficult than necessary for yourself? You have the reins. You can revise your approach, if it's creating more issues than it's solving.

    Yes, I was a little more careful at first about hitting my calorie goal, but relaxed more as I got more experienced. But I don't think I was ever as stressed about it as you sound? The averages, or the majority of our days, are what determine the majority of our results. Being exactly on plan every day is not essential.

    Eating more than usual will delay reaching goal weight, sure. Often, not by all that much.

    Learn your maintenance calories. (Ideally, use weight loss experience, by adding your weight lost calories to your eaten calories averaged over several weeks. That will be more accurate than a calculator. Use the assumption that 3500 calories over maintenance = roughly one pound of fat, or a bit under half a kilogram.)

    Let's think about implications of a "no make-ups" approach: Any day you eat above your goal calories but below your then-current maintenance calories, you're still losing fat, just a little slower. If you eat at maintenance calories, you're delaying reaching goal by one day. If you eat over maintenance calories, you've delayed reaching goal by a little more than one day (how much depends on how many calories over, but often it's less than an additional day). Honestly, in my world, sometimes the delay was worth it - birthdays, holidays, really special restaurant meal, whatever.

    If you eat more than usual, or a different mix of foods than usual, you may see a sudden scale jump upward. Anything in excess of the calorie overage is increased water retention and digestive contents that will become waste. It's not fat, so it's not worth stressing over. The water/waste weight will drop off over then next few days to a couple of weeks or so. NBD.

    So, one day is a drop in the ocean, not a tide that inevitably drowns us. As others have said, you can look at average weekly calories, not as a compulsion to stay within that goal, either, but as a way of recognizing that hungry days and less hungry days will level out to some extent without managing them compulsively.

    Food is just food, it's not a sin we have to atone for. Rescheduling your cheat meal doesn't even seem like making up for anything, it's just changing the day you plan to eat more, it seems like.

    You're the one who makes the rules for how you do this. Choose manageable rules. Others above have made some great points.

    Best wishes!
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,092 Member
    I don't remember feeling a lot of stress at the beginning, and what stress there was quickly disappeared as I saw I really could make this work and that flexibility could be part of the process.

    I think your instinct to not have a scheduled big treat (cheat meal) tomorrow after indulging tonight is a reasonable one. As others have noted, you're the one who decided on your pattern of X calories for days A, B, and C and Y calories for days D-G, or whatever it is. You can decide, "OK, I'll just shift tomorrow's extra calories to this evening." Do the math, and see if that works. I think that's a healthy, flexible approach.

    What I don't think is a health, flexible approach is people who say, "Oh, I was so 'bad' this evening, I don't deserve the cheat meal tomorrow, and maybe I better be even more strict than I would on a 'normal' day to make up for it." I'm not saying that's you, but it's hard to see past your anxiety to how you're thinking about this.

    Best of luck.
  • SafariGalNYC
    SafariGalNYC Posts: 1,461 Member
    edited August 2023
    I was more stressed about being fat than I was about calorie counting. For me- if I know I’m indulging at an event or special occasion then it’s normal for me to deduct calories on the following day or preceding day. It’s not punitive.. it’s just making sure I don’t derail my goals or gain weight.

    For instance- last week I had a piece of birthday cake celebrating my aunts 82nd bday. I went over about 400 cals for the day. I ate lighter that day for lunch and the following day I ate a bit lighter as well. In the end I was still within my weekly calorie goal.
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,221 Member
    edited August 2023
    OP, as you move through the process you'll encounter many phases. Starting out, you're attempting to acclimate to the new eating program, then you won't see immidiate results so it feels like you're walking in the dark plus you're uncomfortable with the low calories and you wonder if your calories are correct.

    If you've done things right and you've trusted the process you start seeing a little progress and that is the point where you see that you can do it for the long haul.
  • sugarfreesquirrel
    sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
    For the people saying that I need to cut back on calories today to make up for last night, I walked for a few hours this morning and took 600 calories off todays calorie budget, so I am back to a normal eating day :-)
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,221 Member
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    For the people saying that I need to cut back on calories today to make up for last night, I walked for a few hours this morning and took 600 calories off todays calorie budget, so I am back to a normal eating day :-)
    If you walked 6 miles then you’re good. Figure 100 calories per mile.
  • sugarfreesquirrel
    sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    For the people saying that I need to cut back on calories today to make up for last night, I walked for a few hours this morning and took 600 calories off todays calorie budget, so I am back to a normal eating day :-)
    If you walked 6 miles then you’re good. Figure 100 calories per mile.

    I actually did walk that far! But with a bmi of 35 I probably could have gotten away with less
  • zebasschick
    zebasschick Posts: 1,067 Member
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    I think I'm just stressed because I'm not used to eating to lose weight over a long period of time, I'm asking if it gets more relaxed over time when you know what to expect.

    for me, it mostly gets emotionally easier and more relaxed. once in a while, i have a moment, but it's less and less frequent.
  • Corina1143
    Corina1143 Posts: 3,624 Member
    I am an accountant. I have an accountant 's personality. When I started, I thought it was important to get calories and macros almost exactly right èvery day, but every meal and every snack as well. It took a very smart dietician to teach me to relax a little without going completely 'round the bend. She told me to set my week, (mine was always Saturday to Friday) and allow myself one cheat meal a week. If I had a treat meal on Saturday, I couldn't have another one until next week--Saturday or later. It was a very good lesson, and yes, I've relaxed a lot since then. But overall, I do just as well now as I did then. It's just easier because I know so much more. And I've come to realize it's not all or nothing. If today's a bust, I can still save the week. If the weeks a bust--such as vacation or illness--it's only a week. No problem, just so there is much more time moving forward than spinning my wheels.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,437 Member
    edited August 2023
    This is such a good question @sugarfreesquirrel

    For me, it has gotten easier, but tougher at the same time.

    Three years now into maintenance, I still track my food and log very carefully and very honestly. I do not want to put any of The Weight back on, at least not in a “fat” capacity.

    Specifically choosing to add weight back on to accommodate muscle gain was a seismic mind shift.

    Lately, I’m trying to look at it a little differently. Apple says my (already frenetic) exercise minutes are up considerably from this time last year. I’ve been experiencing actual hunger, for the first time since maybe the beginning week or two of weight loss.

    I think I’m very much underfueling.

    So I’m experimenting right now, listening to my body.

    A few days a week, I run low on calories, just don’t feel like or don’t have time to eat them all.

    By the weekend, if the hunger kicks in, I’m treating myself to anything I want. I’m not going buck-wild, mind you. But if my body is saying “Hey! Numpty! Feed me! I need some refueling over here!”, I’m doing it.

    It’s been kind of a freedom. I know how to rein it in if the weight starts to go up.

    But what I’ve learned throughout is that I’m always flexing my calorie counting muscle, and that the goal is to make it work for me and not some fixed, static plan. Have done that and it worked great and served a valuable purpose, but am in a flex period right now, while still totally prepared to go back to stricter “rules” should the need arise.

    I’m in charge. Or better yet, I’m in control and that’s a powerful thing.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member

    Staying as consistent as possible is the key to success. You won't lose weight automatically all the time.. you will make mistakes and have slip ups..
    But if you keep getting back on track and being consistent for longer periods than when you mess up.. you will lose weight and move toward your goal.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,216 Member
    edited September 2023
    sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »
    Do you get used to it, and start to relax about fluctuations in calories and weight on the scales? I've seen people here who will have one high calorie day or more in a week then stick to the original plan the rest of the week and be fine with it. I feel like I need to make up for high calorie days on other days, like tomorrow I want to skip my cheat meal because I am indulging big time tonight.
    Password for; I'm giving myself permission to eat what I want and how much. The effect on our satiety hormones can be almost drug inducing for some and difficult to get off that roller coaster. There is no relaxation for worrying about large daily calorie fluctuation and some would consider this in "eating disorder territory" when trying to lose weight and I'm not saying you have one per se, just to be clear. imo
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,437 Member
    edited September 2023
    Can I just interject how much I hate the term “cheat meal”? It imbues food and actions with a host of negative connotations.

    If you’re banking calories from earlier in the week, it’s not a cheat. If you’re not and are truly “cheating”, well….🤦🏻‍♀️

    Not aimed at you, Squirrely Just a generic bellyache.
  • Melwillbehealthy
    Melwillbehealthy Posts: 894 Member
    I’d like to try and answer your original question. I’ve been doing this for 6 months. I’ve gotten much better at it lately, than I was at the beginning. One thing I’ve noticed is that I’m much more relaxed about the whole thing now. I’m excited when I lose weight, but I can finally accept the scale’s fluctuations without too much angst. It took me awhile to be able to weigh in everyday and be honest about it. Joining a challenge on this site has allowed me to do that.
    There’s no ‘cheat’ in my vocabulary. I eat what I want and plan ahead as much as I can.
    However, I look at food very differently than I did 6 months ago. My health goals are serious and I’m committed to a long haul. I enjoy my food. I hope this answer helps.
  • MurphmomSparkles
    MurphmomSparkles Posts: 208 Member
    So much great advice on this thread. It is so easy to get discouraged and quit. Refusing to quit and getting up and doing your best the next day is the main thing. It's got to be from a place of self-love for it to work long-term. Part of that is refusing to let those negative emotions creep in. If the plan isn't doable, then it's not the right plan for you. Something else would work better. The more healthy decisions you make the stronger those mental muscles become and the easier it gets. You got this.

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