Hi I'm back ...

4M_7M_M4H3R_4EVA

I have decided to come back to MFP after a few years break, & some major life changes!

I'm now a grandma (July 2023) & a widow (January 2023).

I've spent the last 7 months trying to come to terms with the loss of my wonderful hubby, so I'm not even sure what I've been doing - this year is such a blur, but in July my first grandchild was born, so that has helped me start looking to the future.

I know how to lose weight, I used to be hugely into weight training & have a gym in my basement, but now that I am alone I am afraid to go down there to lift heavy weights, so I plan to sell my kettlebells & dumbbells - I've already sold my bars & weight plates, but I have a Schwinn Airdyne Assault Bike, & I purchased a Jorvik Tricycle, so I plan to turn my former strength basement into a cardio den.

I plan to buy myself a Concept 2 rowing machine to accompany my Schwinn AirDyne bike, because I really do miss exercise, but I know my cardio fitness is absolutely shocking right now - my Apple Watch told me so on Saturday.

Without my personal cheerleader Andy I am very lost, so I hope that I can become an active member of this community, where I can get help to remain accountable & also help other members.

AnnPT77

Hello, and welcome!

That early phase of widowhood felt very dislocating. I felt like I was almost sleepwalking for quite a while, going through the motions. I empathize. With a healthy attitude - which can take time to develop - life can reshape itself in positive ways, IME. I was widowed at 43, but that's a long time in the past, now (I'm 67), and life is pretty good, but very different.

I hope you'll consider keeping strength training in the picture in some ways, since it's so very good for us. (I admit, I underperform on strength training myself.) At home, I do prefer dumbbells or kettlebells, because I feel like I can fail out of those more safely when alone. I do tend to work more with increased reps/sets, and be more conservative about increased weight, than I would with a spotter. I tend to weight train in my off season; recently got a suspension training setup (well-reviewed TRX knockoff at a good price) with plans to try for the upcoming Winter.

I'm a rower, on-water when possible, machine when the water here freezes. I've had a Concept 2 RowErg since . . . 2004? 2005? They're really bullet-proof, a great machine. There are many millions of meters on it, and all I've needed to do was change the monitor battery a couple of times, clean/oil the chain now and then, and clean the flywheel/housing once in a while. Boats are more fun, though, gotta say.

Have you rowed much before? If not, there's a bit of an investment in learning/grooving in good technique, to enable more intense workouts later.

Best wishes for success with your goals, and with using MFP as part of achieving them!

4M_7M_M4H3R_4EVA

Hi,

Thank you for sharing your experience with widowhood - I’m 49 & Andy was 55 years & 8 days when I found him deceased in bed, this year is definitely a blur & I’m not sure how I get from day to day sometimes, but I’m doing it & given time I will be back on my feet

I used to power lift & do strongman, but because of the kind of weights I was lifting I know it isn’t safe to be downstair in an empty house, because if I were to have a mishap my neighbours couldn’t lift the weights off me, as they’re elderly & I was lifting 100-200kg bars on a regular basis - Andy was my biggest cheerleader & my spotter.

Once I’m back into a cardio routine I will probably fall back in love with Fit Me & then they will be no stopping me; I do enjoy the rowing machine & assault bike, but as much as I would love a SkiERG it’s too tall for my gym basement, Andy & I measured it up & it wouldn’t fit sadly, plus it’s a little noisy to have up here in the dining & living room.

My friend has recently recovered from cancer & he wants me to teach him to lift, so I will possibly go back to coaching friends & family, that way it keeps my hand in & it makes me be more sociable, because since Andy passed away I am definitely somewhat reclusive.

I do now have my beautiful granddaughter, so when I complete my SIA & NEBOSH training & get a job, I intend to work part-time so I can be my granddaughter’s childminder for when her mum goes back to work in May 2024; at the moment I’m getting the house renovated & just learning what my life without Andy is going to be about, oh & living up the the Crazy Cat Lady status I have recently earned.

Again thank you for your insight ❤️

AnnPT77

Grammy_Maher wrote: »

Hi,

Thank you for sharing your experience with widowhood - I’m 49 & Andy was 55 years & 8 days when I found him deceased in bed, this year is definitely a blur & I’m not sure how I get from day to day sometimes, but I’m doing it & given time I will be back on my feet

I used to power lift & do strongman, but because of the kind of weights I was lifting I know it isn’t safe to be downstair in an empty house, because if I were to have a mishap my neighbours couldn’t lift the weights off me, as they’re elderly & I was lifting 100-200kg bars on a regular basis - Andy was my biggest cheerleader & my spotter.

Once I’m back into a cardio routine I will probably fall back in love with Fit Me & then they will be no stopping me; I do enjoy the rowing machine & assault bike, but as much as I would love a SkiERG it’s too tall for my gym basement, Andy & I measured it up & it wouldn’t fit sadly, plus it’s a little noisy to have up here in the dining & living room.

My friend has recently recovered from cancer & he wants me to teach him to lift, so I will possibly go back to coaching friends & family, that way it keeps my hand in & it makes me be more sociable, because since Andy passed away I am definitely somewhat reclusive.

I do now have my beautiful granddaughter, so when I complete my SIA & NEBOSH training & get a job, I intend to work part-time so I can be my granddaughter’s childminder for when her mum goes back to work in May 2024; at the moment I’m getting the house renovated & just learning what my life without Andy is going to be about, oh & living up the the Crazy Cat Lady status I have recently earned.

Again thank you for your insight ❤️

That (bolded) sounds like a really good thing. Clearly, it's your life, not mine, so your choices . . . but there've been women in my circle who retreated into reclusion in widowhood (more than their previous style), and the long run results seemed neither happy nor healthy, from what I could see from the outside.

Personally, I'm a natural introvert, and my late husband was the "social secretary" role who handled logistics of most of our social engagements. I really needed to buckle down and learn some of those skills - sort of channel his strengths - in order to find an on-ramp to a balanced single life. That was uncomfortable short term, but turned out to be a positive plan long term. YMMV.

As far as SkiErg, again it's your situation, but I'm wondering if you now live alone, and if so whether the noise matters. I added a BikeErg during the pandemic, live alone, and its parked in front of my rarely-used fireplace in the living room. (Yes, I wouldn't have bought a BikeErg if optimizing bike training were my goal: As a long-term committed rower, I'm very connected to the Concept 2 technosphere. BikeErg works for me.) It does look like the SkiErg is less easy to stow away than the RowErg, though.

I envy your cat lady status: I added my last cat's age to mine when she died, and decided it wasn't a great plan to get more cats, since I have literally no family (widowed, childless, only child, parents deceased). I've become the crazy houseplant lady instead, I guess.

Best wishes. (I promise I won't keep stalking your thread!)