Last Minute Holiday Stress :-( 5 days remaining

SlimFatYoYo

I would appreciate some urgent advice, because my head is exploding and my stress is out of control now... I am new to the forum and didn't find a section to write about general health, and topics like stress, so I thought it would be OK to post it here... in the end, as you all may know, stress is also related to physical fitness and can sometimes heavily influence the body shape through its intricate interactions with our internal systems and hormones.

Well, I have a quite specific question: I am 26 years old, in a very fastpaced job and my career grew at a fast pace as well. Not easy: I worked very hard for the past 18 months, was promoted twice, but slowly realized I was getting exhausted, so I requested my first 2-week holiday ever (FYI I live in London, England, so this is normal, maximum is a 4 week holiday).

My plan was to use the first week to start getting back in shape (VERY sedentary, started getting overweight, I wrote more about it here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1087727-scary-sudden-weight-gain-despite-exercise-that-worked-before but you don't need to read it, I summarized everything here), and the second week to visit my friends in North Europe / Scandinavia, who invited me and made arrangements on their side.

The first week went really bad as I didn't see any immediate improvements to my fitness, and that's what I wrote about in the other topic. But I also left booking for the last minute, and I am still here in London. I have only 5 days of holidays left.

I have two choices of what to do at this point, and I have to decide NOW...:
1. Pay 4 times the normal price for 1 day of travel, 3 days visiting my friends in 3 different cities (the cities are very close to each other luckily, only 30 minutes by bus), then 1 day travel back. I am afraid of flying, so that's why it will be a whole day of train travel in each way.
2. I stay at home in London, and do a trip to the nature/beach, just relax in the outdoors, and also pay less... but disappoint my friends whom I promised to visit.

To put things into perspective.
Option 1 would cost me a week of my monthly salary. Option 2 would cost me a day of my monthly salary. This would also be my first "long" holiday paid by my own money (rather than my parents), so that's why I am so stressed also about the financial aspect.

I am in a state of mind where I cannot make a logical decision, so that's why I am posting it on a forum... sounds crazy and a bit ignorant, but yeah, all help would be appreciated.

SlimFatYoYo

I really hate it when this happens to me, but yes I need to decide fast and I can't :-(

SlimFatYoYo

Please... anyone... any kind of consideration I should make in this hell of a mind?

SlimFatYoYo

Come on.... anyone!?

kaned_ferret

I'd go with option 2 personally.

But then that's because it's unfathomable for me to spend a 1/4 of my wages on a trip, as that would also leave me homeless

Also consider the fact that you'll be knackered when returning from the whirlwind trip and will probably find motivation to stay on top of your fitness goals upon returning much harder. You've still got a couple of weeks left to take later in the year, book the trip for then and it will be much cheaper (and you'll have proper advance planning on your side), then your friends and family will get to have more of you as well.

SlimFatYoYo

Thank you sooo much for replying.

I was starting to think that nobody was listening to me.

You know, in this period my very best friends whom I usually ask for this kind of advice are currently in the military so there is absolutely no way I can contact them to discuss this kind of important personal decisions... so trust me I truly truly truly appreciate your help.

You are right in a way.

This makes me think of something:
I think one of the main reasons I am still ready to spend so much money for these 3 days is that I have told everyone I am going there, and now if I stay here, I will come across as a very disorganized and unplanned person (well... I am, but not nice to say, especially to the boss!).

I think that's a pretty important factor in my decision-making stress at the moment.
The "performance challenge" of being able to get it done, keeping promises, etc.

kaned_ferret

talk to your friends, tell them it didn't go to plan and you can't afford the travel costs at this time, but also plan ahead NOW for when you *can* go and get it booked, so you can tell them the good news that you definitely are coming on x date now that you've been able to arrange transport.

There's no shame in being disorganised and procrastinating so much on your time off that you don't accomplish all that you set out to do - I've just done exactly the same thing myself! First holiday time in nearly a year, was going to workout loads, go adventuring with my dogs, blitz the flat.. worked out 0, spent most of the time vegetating rather than adventuring with the dogs, and only just managed to do one of my cleaning tasks on the last day. But you know what? I needed the holiday, I needed the chance to just flop about for a bit

BernadetteChurch

Just tell people you decided not to go after all. It's none of their business anyway. And if your friends are truly your friends then they'll understand your situation.

As for not seeing any results in the first week of exercise, what were you expecting? Fitness takes time and patience. Try doing a little more tomorrow than you did yesterday and you'll be seeing results before you know it. But don't expect it to happen instantly.

LilacDreamer

Thank you sooo much for replying.

I was starting to think that nobody was listening to me.

You know, in this period my very best friends whom I usually ask for this kind of advice are currently in the military so there is absolutely no way I can contact them to discuss this kind of important personal decisions... so trust me I truly truly truly appreciate your help.

You are right in a way.

This makes me think of something:
I think one of the main reasons I am still ready to spend so much money for these 3 days is that I have told everyone I am going there, and now if I stay here, I will come across as a very disorganized and unplanned person (well... I am, but not nice to say, especially to the boss!).

I think that's a pretty important factor in my decision-making stress at the moment.
The "performance challenge" of being able to get it done, keeping promises, etc.

Why does anyone neeeeeed to know that your plans changed? it's really none of their concern. let them think you went. if they ask how it was, just say you had a nice time. It's not like that's a lie, you would be having a nice time, just doing something different than you planned on.

If you insist on telling them, how do they know the reason you're not going is your fault? What if your friends had an emergency and the plans fell through? it happens all the time.

Maybe it's different in the states but I wouldn't tell my boss a damn thing. My business is mine alone.

micshakes

For what it's worth - I reckon option 2 as well! Real friends will understand and forgive. You sound like you need some serious relax and time to get into good head space.
No good having a holiday from work when you go back feeling just as stressed.
And to explain your change of plans....simply "my plans changed!" should be enough for all but those friends, whom you can talk to about it anyway!
Why dont' you think about...
Planning well ahead for a short trip or two (take a Friday and a Monday off work) to see your friends?
Set up your fitness and health goals in a more realistic long term way - a little bit every day is the way to start!
Enjoying what's left of your holiday!!! The factor limiting you having a good break is you!
I was just skimming through, and saw your post - I havent ever posted on the forums, but you sounded like you needed some support!
hope it helps!

SlimFatYoYo

Thanks everyone.

One more source of pressure: one of the friends I told about this so much is actually my romantic partner, who now works in another country (visa required), and whom I could have visited if I hadn't "planned" this trip on which I am not going in the end.

I know very well that an understanding partner will always understand; but be honest: if your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance who worked abroad took a 2-week holiday to travel somewhere else, and ended up travelling neither there nor visiting you... just because she/he is disorganized... would you be very happy about that?

kaned_ferret

Sometimes you have to take some you time. True friends and loved ones will understand. I do think you're over-worrying about what others think of you, which whilst perfectly natural isn't very productive. You are your own worst critic and you worry that others judge you by the same cirteria to which you're already judging yourself - i can pretty much guarrantee, they aren't. :flowerforyou: