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SoldierDad
SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
in Chit-Chat
I was thinking back over my wild, wild younger years and thought I would post a list. You should avoid doing these things for the most part. Take my word for it.... Hard, hard learned lessons.



1. Never, ever tell your boss that she would look really hot in your shirt. That only works 1 in 3 times. The other two times you get fired.

2. Just cause you can drink until you actually see pink elephants doesn't mean you should.

3. Tequila is not the liquor equivalent of water. Do not treat it as such.

4. Dating a 45 year old woman (but sleeping with her 22 year old daughter behind her back) can end very badly for you.

5. Mooning your platoon ends with doing many many push ups.

6. Getting drunk on a cruise and letting them blindfold you is never a good idea. They make you think a couple of hotties are giving you a lap dance, but it usually turns out to be a dude! That's hilarious but disturbing!

7. Keep your clothes on when you get drunk. It helps you to avoid jail.

8. The posted speed limit is not a "suggestion" but an actual limit!

9. Going skinny dipping is cool. Going skinny dipping and getting caught by the girls dad results in uncoolness. Think black eye and busted lip.

10. Picking a fight with 3 or 4 guys (at one time) that are three times your size is more dumb than brave. OK, its all dumb.

11. Drinking all the tequila in Mexico shouldn't be your vacation goal.

12. If your hobby is seeing how much booze you can drink in an hour and then doubling it the next hour... You have a problem and should get help.

13. If something looks to good to be true.. Run like hell. Don't stick around long enough to discover just how bad it can be.

14. Never get so drunk that you fall over on the dance floor. It rarely gets you a date, but often gets you kicked out.

15. If your ex girlfriend calls you asking for a second chance (two days after SHE just got married) run like hell.



Happy Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you all! :flowerforyou:
Ed

God bless you!

Replies

  • cindyangotti
    cindyangotti Posts: 294 Member
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    LoL!!!! :laugh:
  • robbienjill
    robbienjill Posts: 456 Member
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    oh, the tequila statements are soooooo true:):drinker:
  • sabrinafaith
    sabrinafaith Posts: 607 Member
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    Did you moon your platoon???????????????????
  • Galathea
    Galathea Posts: 420 Member
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    LMAO, far too funny, now my stomach hurts! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • immacookie
    immacookie Posts: 7,424 Member
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    Ahh good times.... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Annr
    Annr Posts: 2,765 Member
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    Wise words hon!!!
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
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    Did you moon your platoon???????????????????

    Oh yes I did! LOL!
  • amicklin
    amicklin Posts: 452
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    Did you moon your platoon???????????????????

    Oh yes I did! LOL!

    All those pushups would worth mooning the platoon!! I would have laughed so hard!! ... Now, the bit about the tequila, that makes me cringe thinking about it. Very true.
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
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    Did you moon your platoon???????????????????

    The mooning part is very funny... But some of my list is sad. I have done everything on that list.... Seemed like good ideas at the time.
  • 2daughtermom
    2daughtermom Posts: 80
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    Man Ed, you were a bad boy
  • Go135al
    Go135al Posts: 4 Member
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    Thank you! I'm on day two and still working the numbers. After a long, tiring day at work, I came home to a good smile, thanks to your post! God bless you too!
  • xxgoriexx
    xxgoriexx Posts: 39
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    A lesson I didn't even have to learn from my husband's brother (this is just common sense, haha):

    He was in Pakistan (Marines), and I guess he really just couldn't take the pressure, so he basically told his CO that he'd like to kill her. >> Yeah ... didn't go over so well.
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
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    Those stories are exactly why I have never touched any liquor.
  • Rynatat
    Rynatat Posts: 807 Member
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    I think I'm the only one left that still loves tequilla... although I haven't made it to Mexico to really prove that theory...:tongue:

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