What do do? Totally lost
Replies
-
0
-
0
-
I think right now people are trying to encourage you to take 1 step in the right direction. You’re right, 1 thing is not 1000. But if you change a little you might see some benefit. Give you something to build on. Right now you think the deal is give up something - food you like- for nothing, because after a whole week of sacrifice you’ll still be morbidly obese. You’re only human like everyone else. We spend years gaining weight but want it all gone in a month.
The story I told you about the museum- that was the day I thought “Hey, there really is an upside to this.” But how did I make it long enough to get there? Fear. I was going to die or have a stroke. It was only a question of when. We had 2 little kids. Just fatting myself to death and leaving two little kids with no dad? That was my hard stop.
5 -
I simply want to feel better. OverWeight and poor physical/fitness level have worn me down. I know it’s going to take years to correct but I would like a win here or there. To be able to not be out of breath all the time ( not sure that is correctable due to lung scarring). To get a good night sleep or just feel at peace.
Going to try to make some meal prep this weekend if life allows it or I don’t get to down on myself and just eat whatever.
2 -
That sounds like a good step.
I want to add a thought to the good things others have said: Your phrasing makes me feel like you're thinking you'll need to wait all the way to goal to see benefits. That's not true.
I'm wondering if you've ever dipped into the NSV thread here, where people share the Non Scale Victories they experience along the way as small changes begin to add up, even way before they reach some "ultimate goal". Yes, many of those NSVs aren't major life-altering earthquakes, but they're bright spots that can improve perspective and even potentially fuel further progress. That's here:
I've been here for 10+ years, loss then maintenance, and during that time I've chipped away and literally read every single one of the 35,000+ posts on that thread. They helped me keep going. I've even posted some myself.
Honestly for me - can't speak for you - simply taking the reins, taking responsibility for my own outcomes, and taking action . . . that felt empowering, and improved my attitude fairly close to starting out.
Good things can be ahead for you. You can choose to head that way, and can choose to recognize those little points of achievement . . . or choose to discount them as "not enough".
1 -
I’d say maybe start slow with your diet. Maybe cut out a few things here and there. Try to gauge at least what your caloric intake is; and subtract at least 200 calories from that. It may not seem like a lot but it’ll be a total of 1,400 calories a week. That way you don’t burn out of it. Remember you did not get overweight over night. It was years of eating a lot that did. It’ll take some work to lose the weight but you can do it by starting small. And gradually upping the intensity.
1 -
well meal prep did not happen. Took out food from the freezer and got a busy with other things and ended up going out to dinner like usual. That food will be tossed later as it’s going bad. Had a nice steak defrosted that we did not use. A bunch of raw peppers that are now soggy, zucchini that is soft as well.
Need frozen meals that I can just throw in the microwave at a moments notice. Not defrosting and planning. I am horrible at it.
Weighed in at 285 today. No wonder I don’t feel good.
1 -
Why are you posting today, what kind of support do you want @rl2010?
1 -
just venting. I don’t know how to get over this hurdle
1 -
Nods, every single time I need to restart, it always feels impossible.
Physically agitated while reversing overeating.
Emotionnaly pitiful when I realize I need to pry the goodies out of my hand and keep them out of the house. Not let my car turn all by itself into a fast food drive through!
Sometimes these kinds of changes just feels horrible.
So does illness, not being able to breathe or to get up and down off the floor, run and play with kidlets.
Re whining, moaning, venting, groaning - strong negative emotions and thoughts are natural when things are icky - they can also become a huge habit.
Changing our actions is just part of it - we need o talk back to our negative thoughts - call it out when it is irrational or not true. Even if true, recognize it, then look at your actual realistic choices, make a choice and do it.
Repeat, repeat, repeat until you are headed in a better direction, then practice more.
It is a similar process with any change. Stay where you are and whine... or... whine and do something… or just try and do… see where it leads and keep going...
It's up to you, for you.
All the best...
2 -
Good post. I’ve been listening to different videos on how to stop negative thinking and how to be positive on my dreaded 1.5 hour commute. Again it all makes sense.
How to I take action is my issue. I want to and on the way to work I am like yeah awesome. I walk a flight of stairs to my floor and I sit down and then the day is out the window.
I also started some therapy program that is focusing on why I am stressed and how to think about myself and and not everything. How to stop being an engineer that I am. How to stop over analyzing
2 -
Yay to trying therapy!
Do you have a friend or family member who wants to support you/join you in, for example, an evening walk? Even if it is only 5 or 10 minutes at first.0 -
Kitchen sinking - tieing all things, before, now and after altogether.
It is nice to have a panoramic view/overview - of mountain ranges or a engineer building project such as building the Golden Gate Bridge.
But then, you need to drill down to 1 action fix/step. The choice and thing to do today - the task.
It really can be that clinical/simple
Look at, assess, strategize, implement. Review, assess next step, strategize, implement/do. Repeat.
Drill down, execute. As you keep doing that, you will come up to see how it fits into the big picture and will see the bridges you built behind you and the bridges you dream of ahead of you.... then focus on the bridge you are building today - taking those actions.
It is the same as any large project - moving homes, completing a 4 year college degree - tackling the project the boss hands you.
Take it on - live your life in front of you. Do it for you and your future you…
I don't mean to utter platitudes - they are a simple expression of the possibles - yours to reach for and do.
Best,
3 -
Still trying to combat my negative self. Putting myself into a deeper hole and won’t lift the shovel to help myself. Now over 290 again. And yes breathing is worse than ever. I am under the belief this will not improve and the way it makes me feel exhausted, headaches, no sleep has increased the depressed mindset.
yes I should just go back to normal carb again but get angry thinking about it. Same for let’s try a real counting calorie meal plan. I just want to punch a wall. Real anger comes out. Don’t know why.Then we go out like we do most nights for dinner and even that while tastes better. It’s getting old but it’s better than be trying to make a meal, not liking it and ordering out anyway. This sounds very dumb but it’s where I am at.
Afraid of failing at trying anything now.
Saw a story the other day of not every meal has to be a celebration. I like that quote. Too bad I can live it. I watch some exercise videos on how to start. I am like yeah I can do that. Nope.
This is all depression I am living with. It’s not about food. It’s not about exercise. It’s about me beating the crap out of myself all the time.
Tried the really think about happiness. I can’t think of when I was really happy. Just short lived moments.The stress therapy therapy I have not gone all in as I am too sidetracked mentally on how I think.
Back to meals, Anyone hire a personal chef that makes the meals? This way I can throw out my kitchen and just be forced to eat what is made.
0 -
Why not, if you can afford it.
Back when Biggest Loser started, thought a bootcamp would be nice or a weightloss spa... or just others tell me what/how to do… that is the underlying gist of a medically supervised approach... why not?
0 -
well that just went out the window. Saw the latest finances and now maxed out a card. What the hell am I doing? Sorry to vent. Too much wrong going on.
1 -
Have you talked to your doctor about trying an anti depressant?
0 -
finances, diet, … could it be restraint and discipline need to be evaluated?
maybe time to clean house? You sound like the breadwinner…. Maybe you have a lot more power than you think.
join a challenge here on MFP and stick with it for a month. Try UAC or any other.. … now is your time to make changes.1 -
not sure what you mean. Zero discipline if that is what it is?
I dont feel as I have much power at all. Bread winner to pay the bills yes. Nothing saved for the future. So what am I trying to prepare for?Lost faith in doctors. I did this to myself and I am not blaming anyone. Weighing 300lbs, high blood pressure, high triglycerides and bad sleep apnea, scarred lungs, breathing issues, no cardio stamina, high stress, and very depressed. Don’t see a way out. The “lose weight” answer from doctors I have heard too much.
My father is now in the hospital not doing well and just compounds it all.
1 -
I tried to post to you before, but MFP recently was messing up my ability to post....that seems to be resolved.
You are right about one thing...you did this to yourself. Thing is we ALL did this to OURselves. But if you are here and not doing anything to change that, you aren't ready, despite your physical and mental shape.
I lost 50 pounds on MFP over 10 years ago and gained 30 of it back. I came back and tried again...lasted a few days. Came back again a couple months later....again, left after a few days. Then, a year ago September, I stepped on my scale....and cried. That was the last straw. I came back to MFP and have been here since. I am back to the weight I was over 10 years ago and am shooting for another 10 pounds before I go on maintenance. Do I eat perfectly? Not always. Do I cheat? Definitely. BUT the watchword is MODERATION. You can eat what you want as long as you don't go crazy.....and make the healthy stuff a priority. And I am diabetic....even THAT didn't convince me to lose weight. Now I am off insulin....I only take oral meds and my blood sugar is just fine.
I do some cooking, but I eat tuna sandwiches or egg sandwiches. I will have a big salad for a meal and add shrimp to it. I will get a store made rotisserie chicken, have some of that for a meal and remove the rest from the carcass for chicken salad or even chicken soup. It doesn't take a lot of effort. If you want to eat out, get a salad or concentrate on a protein dish without all the sauces and stuff.
But as much as you are tired of doctors, you need to do something about your depression. You say its not about the food.....YES IT IS. Your eating is directly tied to your mental issues. It seems to me you need to start getting more serious about your weight and not wait until you feel on top of the world. Getting your weight under control will do wonders for your mental outlook. I suffer from depression, too and being lighter, having a spring in my step again is so uplifting.
You may not bother reading all this...or care. But me telling you to keep your chin up or things will get better or you can do it, isn't going to help. YOU are your own Weight Police....no one can do it for you. There is only so much support people here can give you before they realize its not helping.
I am sorry your father is ill....but don't you think HE would like to see you a healthy weight, too? Think about it.
0 -
I lost almost 50 lbs and gained 40 lbs back in 2 months. I am right where I started. Even losing the weight did not help/correct my breathing as I feel that will never change or improve. Sleep has gotten worse and nothing the doctors can do as insurance won’t for another sleep study. I would have to shovel out $1500-$2000 for one. I know I have sleep apnea but the CPAP is not enough anymore. Breathing is horrible so I am not exercising. Horrible cycle.
Was trying some therapy that was allot of lessons to try to focus on the now and myself vs everything else. I tried but all I get is mind noise and fall right back to my ways. I just can’t put the effort in and get frustrated. I explained these thoughts with the therapist.
When I don’t have the will to make time to prepare my meals/cook this is a constant battle. I have tried to plan but it does not work. Got home late from work a few nights and the food went bad as I was not cooking at 9 PM. When I try to plan more and more I get more frustrated. A common theme.
Maybe I should get canned soups or food that can be stored indefinitely in a cabinet the can be microwaved fast for meals.
Maybe a win at something instead of constant failure and let downs would help. That is all I feel and see.
1 -
What I still do is drink a proteins shake every morning. 160 calories and 30g protein.
I do have salads a few times a week. So I guess that is something but not enough maintain the 50lbs lost and gaining a few lbs a week. Clothes don’t fit again and I have to buy more this week.
0 -
You can't tell me you wouldn't feel better if you lost 100 pounds. THAT would be like me losing 30....you can't compare your loss of 50 to my loss of 30. I never weighed nearly 300 pounds (with my body type, I would not have survived), but I was certainly obese.
Sure, you can try anything. But without the positive, determined attitude, it's not going to work. And its not a race....its a permanent, lifelong, forever plan. Its taken me a year to lose 30 pounds. It won't take you that long, but it will to lose 100. I can't even take Ozempic, even though I'm diabetic, so I have to lose weight the old fashioned way. It may take me another year to lose the 10 more I want to lose, but that's ok because the bulk of my weight is lost.
You keep saying how sick you are. You get no sympathy from me. You can complain here as much as you want, but its not going to take the weight off. If I were in your shoes, I'd be scared to death! And maybe you are. But its obvious the food is more important to you than living a long and healthy life. If you can't change that, .....well, I don't have to tell you what will happen.
0 -
How many of you use frozen prepared meals. Example a Marie Callendars frozen meal from the supermarket? Maybe I can get these that can be just thrown in the microwave for most nights. And the other nights I will try to find a way to make something that is not frozen.
I do not want to go out to eat anymore. I am not going to rely on what my wife or kids want to eat. And I will get my own fridge for food.
If I have my protein shake in the morning that is 160 calories. For lunch grilled chicken Cesar salad with Cesar dressing they provide (no nutrition info) so I will say 1000 calories. Then for dinner a frozen thing for 300 calories. This gets me under 1500 calories, low carbs and about 1/2 the protein I was told to aim for. I can try this. Probably won’t be enough food to keep me from feeling hungry all the time but I guess I should just deal with it and hope it does not add to aggravation of being stressed from work.
I need to find other stress relief besides food and drinking. Maybe exercise one day but I can’t get dressed without gasping for air. Walking to get coffee in the office people have asked me am I ok as I am out of breath.
The meditation (sort of the therapy I was trying) will not work at this time as my mind is always racing.
0 -
I am thinking i can remove the good noise/stress of figuring out what to eat and getting home and trying to prepare something edible and not eating until 10 at night. I could just have something to just toss in the microwave. And if I am not eating home at least that meal won’t be in the trash spoiling in the fridge.
0 -
I do use frozen prepared meals sometimes. They're not my main go-to for various reasons, things like me being retired and having more flexibility about cooking, and having a big freezer. I'm more likely to turn to frozen when I'm unusually busy, or am particularly tired. I almost always have some on hand for those situations.
Frozen meals are fine, if they help you.
What I'd suggest is to try a variety of different ones, unless you really like the first ones you try. These days, there are a huge variety of frozen meals available. They may appeal to different taste preferences, come at different price points, etc. Therefore if you don't like the first one(s) you try, try some other ones before you give up the idea.
0 -
now to find out how to plan zero to very low calorie snacks when I am hungry.
I will try to see if I can get to a supermarket this week to see if anything looks appealing. The 220 calorie steak/potato and green beans one for example looks very small.
1 -
how do I feel good? Or at least not full of hate/sadness.
How do I stop constantly thinking about how bad I feel? How to stop my mind racing?
without drinking? Without a doctor.0 -
I avoid Marie Callendars meals....just look at the nutritional label and you've will know why.
There are other microwaveable meals that are better.. check the labels.
I did say moderation. You cannot eat until you are satisfied anymore. Yes, you may still feel hungry, but that can't be avoided. Eventually the stomach does shrink. I can't eat as much as I used to. You can eat a healthy snack in between, like a piece of fruit or a handful of nuts. I eat strawberries and raspberries and apples and watermelon. In season, I eat oranges.
But DON'T mistake boredom for hunger.....wanting to eat instead of NEEDING to eat. I rarely feel hunger so I have to be careful.
And it probably wouldn't hurt your family to change their eating habits along with you. But if that's not possible, you will have to keep your food separate. I know others do that.
0 -
what else can be a frozen easy to cook fast meal. That is not salad.
This is for most nights when I don’t plan well or get home late and not going to chop, measure, bake for an hour. I see vegetables that can be microwaved in a few minutes. What meats can I do the same with?
Can chicken breasts or something be just cooked fast in a microwave from frozen?0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 398.1K Introduce Yourself
- 44.7K Getting Started
- 261K Health and Weight Loss
- 176.4K Food and Nutrition
- 47.7K Recipes
- 233K Fitness and Exercise
- 462 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.7K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.5K Motivation and Support
- 8.4K Challenges
- 1.4K Debate Club
- 96.5K Chit-Chat
- 2.6K Fun and Games
- 4.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 18 News and Announcements
- 21 MyFitnessPal Academy
- 1.5K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions