Christmas Alone

tinajones77

This year I’m spending Christmas alone. I won’t be going home for Christmas for the first time in my life. I’m afraid and nervous. Some having to do with my family's reaction and the other is just well… being alone. Most of my life I’ve been an emotional punching bag. Completely overlooked and unheard. Not as if I’m not there but I am there, only at the benefit of others though. You know?? I love my family but sometimes it’s not always the safest place to be on a healing journey. I’m not saying I don’t have my own problems, I’m more than willing to address them and find solutions. Before I started pointing figures I had to look at myself. The last 6 months I started an adventure. I’ve lost over 40lbs a size 10/12 to a size 2/4. And feel better than ever. Going home for Christmas is like a cycle the can just punch you in the gut and take away the momentum. Until I’m mentally and emotionally strong enough to take on the holidays. I’m staying home. Idk why I wrote this but cheers to those who are not selfishly choosing themselves but for once is looking out for the person who has been overlooked long enough.

[edited by MFP Staff]

xbowhunter

Kudos to you for taking care of yourself first. F*&k the negative Nancie's in your life.

Corina1143

Sounds like you're well on your journey to live a better life. Best wishes! Happy Holidays!

Dianedoessmiles1

I come from a very disfunctional family growing up. Once we all grew up 4 out 5 do amazingly well (youngest brother a druggie), but I do not celebrate holidays. Mostly because of the origin of it, but also a choice. I DO love my family very much so. Since my Mom and Dad have passed we've done as many families with only getting together in a larger group for weddings or UGH funerals (not even all funerals are attended by all!). We tend to now get together on ZOOM (TY PANDEMIC! that was a GOOD thing which came about!) it's for 1 to 2 hours and POOF OFF we go. It's perfect! For us.

Here's what I do during holidays. I do have many friends who also do not celebrate, one would THINK I'd want to get together with them, LOL I DO NOT!! Huh? Am I ANTISOCIAL? NOT in the least (Sunday at my house a gathering to watch Football and play Uzzel, with food of course). But on Monday I am having a DIANESE DAY!! HUH? Yes, this is a day I'll SPOIL Myself ROTTEN!!! Do you enjoy a warm bath? I let the water out some when it starts to get cold, and refill it back up!! I'll stay in my jammies ALL DAY LONG!! Hehehehe and if I want to watch TV I will or whatever else I choose, but it'll NOT be in sadness. Its a ME DAY when the world stops.

You are doing very well to take care of yourself. I hope your closest family members do each out to you to ask you why, and care, not in anger.

elisa123gal

I applaud your decision. We love our family..but we didn't choose them.. and there is nothing saying... that we have to keep them in our lives.. especially if they are not our cheerleaders and put us into a box we don't want to be in. If you are always the punching bag.. you will be again and they'll poke at your wonderful weight loss accomplishment.

I've made the decision that i don't want any of my family invited to my daughter's wedding. It is her day and our day.. and i don't need my family pulling their old antics and runing our speical day. I feel so relieved having made that decsion. So.. i relate to you. You did the right thing. I hope you fine some kind of wonderful way to spend your Christmas day.

54ShadesOfBlue

Merry Christmas - I wish you the best in your new journey. I admire your courage to forge *your* own path !

Corina1143

You may not be with family, but you have friends who care. Wishing you the very best.