How to Keep Going

Just want to know how to keep trying, when I have failed so many times that my family does not believe in me anymore. It's so difficult and disheartening.

Answers

  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,912 Member
    Where does it go wrong? And maybe a sneaky comment but why does your family need to know?
  • refactored
    refactored Posts: 455 Member
    I like this quote from Thomas Edison: "I have not failed. I've just found 10000 ways that won't work." Write down all the approaches you have tried and why you think it didn't work out. Make a plan based on what you have learnt. If you need some motivation I recommend the Half Size Me podcast or you tube videos. Her paper pencil journal approach is good if you want to learn more about your eating habits and start changing your habits: https://www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PLuK3yM3H9-PIgP_HOid9uIa8YX1Hyk8VD
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,205 Member
    How long do you tend to work at it before you give up?
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,399 Member
    edited January 13
    What worked best for me was shutting my mouth, setting a goal,learning everything I could about how to achieve that goal, working towards that goal, and most of all, forgiveness to myself if I missed a goal for a day or two or three, as long as I found myself back working towards it.

    ^^This. Every word. Especially the shutting my mouth part. That's important - less food gets in.

    I set a Goal. I planned for and pre-paid for a vacation eight months in the future because that's how long I figured it would take me to lose 60 pounds and be comfortable in shorts, tank tops and a bathing suit for a week. That was a big motivator. I even started buying clothes in too small sizes. That was a little dicier because I really didn't know what size I'd be...but it worked out.

    Then I set exercise goals. Nothing too drastic, just stuff I like to do that is active.

    I couldn't give up because 60 pounds and a trip to a tropical island. :)
  • wm3796
    wm3796 Posts: 95 Member
    If you are tired of failing and starting over, then decide right now you won’t fail and won’t have to start over. Remember the good feeling you have when you step in the scale and see the change. Think of the more energy you will have. Think of how much easier it will be just to walk, climb stairs. Keep these thoughts with you when you reach for that high caloric food, late night snack, extra serving, high caloric dessert. These thoughts may help you make the right choices to be successful. There is so much positive things that will happen to your body when your weight is a good range!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,114 Member
    Just want to know how to keep trying, when I have failed so many times that my family does not believe in me anymore. It's so difficult and disheartening.

    It's not about your family, it's about you. I hate to say it, but I think motivation comes from inside. No one else does it for me. It's all about what I choose to put in my mouth, chew, and swallow; plus how much and how I decide to move my body. I'm 100% in control of both those things. I can decide to change that, or not.

    My best advice would be to pick an approach for yourself that's as easy as possible to stick with, while still making gradual progress, rather than trying extreme eating or exercise in pursuit of fast weight loss.

    Sometimes a moderate weight loss rate a person can stick with will get them to goal weight in less calendar time (and for sure with less stress!) than restrictive eating rules, ultra low calories, or punitively intense exercise that causes deprivation-triggered overeating, breaks in the action, or even giving up altogether.

    I also endorse the idea of not telling other people about it: All that ever seems to do is provoke unwanted questions, suggestions or interference. Thinking others can/should "motivate" us can also make it tempting to blame others if something goes wrong, which is counter productive, IME.

    You can do this, if you choose to do this, and commit to make some changes in your daily eating and activity habits. They can be small, gradual changes - those add up.

    Best wishes for success: The results are worth the effort, IME.
  • Dreamroper
    Dreamroper Posts: 39 Member
    It's so hard sometimes, isn't it? It just feels like a cloud over your head that follows you around. Good advice here for sure, and that old saying: take one day at a time, is probably the best. Just one day, you can get through just one day. Then the next day. You can get through just one more day. Good luck. We know how hard it is, and many others are struggling with you. You are not alone on this journey.
  • millej238
    millej238 Posts: 24 Member
    One of my favorite things I learned in therapy is that half-assed is better than no-assed. In other words, it's better to do something badly than to not do it at all.

    This is it exactly - consistency in showing up is key

    For me I've found a few things keep my weight in check:

    1. Log my food honestly & accurately every day (including weighing things where I can, or over-estimating calorie counts on foods where I'm not sure)

    2. Dont restrict calories too much from maintenance calories - for me, I cant stick to eating 1500 a day. I'm losing very slowly at 1900 and I find this manageable

    3. Do something physical daily where I move my body. In line with the quote above, some days I'm motivated enough for a hard strength training program and then some days I drag myself out for a half-assed walk.

    4. Find small healthier substitutes for food items - especially things I eat every day. Instead of full cream milk go to a reduced fat or skim milk.

    You can do this - you just need to try every day!!!!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Just want to know how to keep trying, when I have failed so many times that my family does not believe in me anymore. It's so difficult and disheartening.

    Although you didn't mention the word "motivation," it seems like that is what you are struggling with? I'd never get anything done if I needed motivation to do it. Instead, I force myself to create healthy habits and just do things until they become routine.

    For example, I walk during my breaks at work. I only WANT to do it when it's nice out, but I do it no matter what (there's an indoor option which isn't nearly as pleasant as being outside on a nice day, but I get my steps in.)

    Here's my favorite article on motivation: https://www.wisdomination.com/screw-motivation-what-you-need-is-discipline/
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,353 Member
    Rahray771 wrote: »
    I was feeling discouraged (and hungry!) tonight, so I came on this community board instead of thinking about what I can't eat! It was so helpful! Thank you all!

    I'm going to try your suggestions. For instance, I will keep my diet to myself. Hard to do because I cook for my husband and he doesn't need to diet.

    Lots of encouragement here, though! Thank you all! I hope you find the same inspiration and strength to keep going!

    Mine gets what’s put in front of him. He didn’t even notice because I made an effort to make sure it was still tasty.

    When he saw me losing weight was when he decided to join me here.

    I’ve tried to make it to where it’s not punishing for either of us, but especially him. I make sure he gets lots of desserts or snacks. The low cal ice cream, he’s vastly disappointed if I forgot to prep the mix. Low cal apple pie was a massive hit, and right now I’m experimenting with low cal sugar free cheesecake. Absolutely zero complaints from that direction. 👍🏻
  • Rockymountainliving
    Rockymountainliving Posts: 27 Member
    I also do all the cooking. Does my husband NEED to lose weight? No. Does eating healthier benefit his body? Yes. He gets bigger portions and sometimes I go meatless while he gets lamb (which I find gacky and he loves).