Overcoming laziness

Nckr66

Looking for some insight please.
I'm currently at 329lb but for the best part of the last decade, I've been at least over 250lb. I remember initially gaining weight and finding myself feeling way more lazy. To the point where I was being pulled up at work over it. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I have to be honest with myself.
Nowadays I'm the same but worse. I have gained a fair bit of weight in the past 5 years or so. But what I'm really struggling with is just this overwhelming sense of 'i can't be bothered'. I know it's a terrible character trait but no matter how much I push myself I seem to fall back into this infuriating habit. If it wasn't for my kids, I think I'd be significantly worse, as they are the only motivation I feel I really have. I often feel like every physical activity is exhausting and doing physical exercise is something I sadly really hate, no matter how much I do it. My husband is very active - doing 20-30k steps daily - I'm lucky if I do a fraction of that.
I've contemplated mental health issues - my daughter is type 1 diabetic so it's sometimes hard when things are not going to so great, and I have anxiety in general, but I really really want to change. I have been struggling for years to do so.

My question is - did anyone feel this way when they were very overweight, and did your energy levels increase with weight loss?
Thank you.

springlering62

The difference between obese and normal was life changing for me. Yes!!!! Energy levels rose.

I was a couch person. Don’t interrupt me from my books and (endless) snack(s). It was hard to break that cycle.

Speaking from experience, I tried, but all I could think about was getting back to my sofa and how boring walking was.

Total 180. If I can’t get out and do something, I’m climbing the walls. I am so grateful for the event (a thyroid prescription with a bedsheet sized warning insert) that literally got me off my ass.

I’m not trying to be mean, but look at yourself and look at your daughter. What kind of example are you setting for her? Of course you want the best for her. If for no other reason, make changes that include the whole family. Subtly, without ramming it down their throats or demanding they “help” or the classic “don’t let me eat/do this” and “make me do this and so”.

You’ve still got time to be an inspiration and an example to her and help set her health on a lifelong course of improvement and stability.

Maybe instead of coming at this via “have to overcome laziness”, come at it from the “want to do this for her” angle.

My mom told me it was “normal” for women to be fat after childbirth. I was happy to believe her. I saw my formerly athletic daughter heading down the same path. I like to think my changes were an inspiration to her, because she started back working out after we visited and I was going for early morning runs and offered to take her to the gym and show her how to use the weight equipment. She had no idea I ran. She was shocked I knew how to use weights. She went back to her yoga and started cardio. She looks phenomenal. Take that, mom! 👊🏻

Exercise doesn’t have to be horrible. There are audiobooks and some simply amazing podcasts for every interest. I can get so immersed in a podcast I’ll turn and walk a different direction so I can finish one. Find something that intrigues you. As a kid, I dreamed of running off the join the circus. I’ve added some circus-y type things once in a while. I always wanted to run, even a hundred feet, but would have given myself a black eye. After a reduction and losing the first twenty, I thought “why the heck not” and started running in my late 50’s. I don’t run often now, but when I do, it’s for the pleasure of it. Got a dog? Walk him. They are great to unload on and always ready when you are.

Summersigh2015

I’ve been more or less in the same place as you. Different circumstances but with that same feeling of being completely overwhelmed by my lack of motivation. I felt paralyzed by my inaction until someone I knew told me I was depressed and should see a doctor.
And it turned out that I was suffering from depression, and it was treated, and after a while I started to feel better. It took time, but I’m fine now and happy and energetic and losing weight.
That’s my story. You might have a different one but I’m glad you reached out. There are very nice people here who will support you.
I wish you well
x

cmriverside

I agree that it could be depression. Having a chronically ill child is no joke, and being overweight saps energy in the best of us. Good news/bad news, you can pull yourself out of this but only you can do it.

When I was overweight I felt the same way. I didn't go the route of antidepressants (been there, got the crappy tee shirt,) but I found that a half hour walk worked wonders and had the added benefits of suppressing my hunger and lifting my mood while helping me lose weight.

I know you've heard the phrase, "Put on your own oxygen mask first." If I don't practice daily self-care in some way I'm no use to others and I can get into negative self talk.

I hope you feel better. Every action I took toward taking care of myself, eating nutritious food, getting a little exercise, and creating a healthy body was worth it.

PAV8888

Hello! I can imagine how much I would weight if I was caring for a sick child. Some things quickly.

--does it feel to me, an internet stranger, that it would be a great idea for you discuss depression with a real doctor? Yes, you should!

--does one gain energy during the process of losing weight because you're losing weight? You betcha! Tons. If you balance correctly between too little and too much of a deficit but that's truly is another story for later. For now, YES you gain energy.

--do you have to exercise to lose weight? No you don't. Even keeping up with half of your hubby's activities is activity enough for most. Not that you're not allowed or encouraged to exercise or do more. But it's not necessary.

--take care of yourself!

Kiwi2mfp

I noticed my energy level went way up after (correction: WHILE losing weight also) losing weight. My motivation also. Being chronically zapped of energy from carrying the extra weight, coupled with the pain that was constant and also zapped my energy....I was in bed WAY too much. Now I hardly nap and I'm 32 weeks pregnant! My energy is higher now than it was when I was obese. Depression kicks in with obesity also. Because you feel trapped by the exauhstionand pain and this hopelessness that you can't do anything about it (which is a mind game lie). Well, you can...I did. One day at a time. One habit at a time. Simply cutting out soda can be first habit. Or cutting out sugar and creamer in your coffee or tea. Then drinking more water...then eating less bread...then...whatever else you feel is holding you back. But sometimes baby steps are all you can do. Running a marathon tok early can burn you out. It takes me quite a while to wrap my head around a new life style change. Thinking on the need for it is not necessarily wasting time...it's processing. But don't process too long and simply never do it. I usually take a week or two to process and then get on with it. Once one or two good habits are solidified in my life I add more. But your energy level will drastically increase. Staying hydrated helps with that too. Good hydrated...not soda hydrated lol

bennyg1973

I am 332. But I was 380. So I am happy to have lost 48 lbs. But, yes, I was lazy. Then I took out pictures of the "old me" and when I was thin and practicing martial arts. I was happy then. I could see it. I wanted that again. So I talked to my doctor, got a nutritionist, got on Ozempic (to be honest) and started walking. I would tell myself that all I have to do is go to the gym for 10 minutes and I gave myself permission to go home. Then, I'd notice that I would be able to add another 10 minutes, and so on. But always promising myself that I can leave after 10 minutes. I wanted to be looking thin again, confident again, happy again. I also quit drinking, which helped me feel MUCH better emotionally.

So I hope this helped. When in a rut, we need accountability and motivation. Goals. And I felt the Ozempic helped too, though hard to get. Depression was helped (and anxiety) when I quit drinking (not that you drink). Breaking out of the rut I was in and getting counseling.

So, overall, balance, motivation, accountability and support is important.

springlering62

I’d like a HURRAH button on this thing for @Kiwi2mfp

Congrats!!!!!!!

Nckr66

Thanks so much to everyone, this gives me hope.

I appreciate the candor. I absolutely do need to be inspirational and a good role model for my daughter/S. Admittedly I took her diagnosis very hard and it does creep back up on me. I have spoken to a doctor about anxiety and depression but other than a couple years on a waiting list and meds that didn't do anything for me, I haven't made much progress.
I don't want to have a pity party, however.

I haven't given up yet and that's what matters. Can't tell you how hopeful your stories make me. I really am grateful for those sharing your experiences. The idea of having a lot more energy is really exciting, as I do think it holds me back quite a bit. But I am essentially carrying a whole separate person so I guess that would take it's toll.
☺️

vanmep

I don’t think you are lazy at all! I think you are expending a lot of energy on carrying around pounds. For fun, I like to think in terms of 10 pound bags of potatoes. For someone who is 100 pounds overweight, imagine if they were carrying around 10 bags of potatoes every where they went. That’s not lazy! That’s a lot of work and doesn’t leave much energy for other things. But once that gets turned around, and you don’t have to carry those potatoes any more, you’ll have energy to spare for fun things.

springlering62

Nckr66 wrote: »

…I am essentially carrying a whole separate person so I guess that would take it's toll.
☺️

OMG. THIS!!!!!!

I lost 40% of my weight. Your darned tootin’ right it takes its toll. How can I not feel like I have more energy when I’m no longer carrying a small adult on my back?

I would like to karma this over to you and your daughter somehow. Wish this was a thing. *sigh*

There’s so many simple things you can do to make changes without them even noticing. Margarine is half the calories of butter. I can cut either in half or even by 2/3 in most recipes and no one knows the difference.

I brown meat in a very hot, dry pan. It tastes just fine and no oils necessary. Need oil? Invest in a Misto olive oil sprayer. I just used 1 gram on my afternoon popcorn to make my truffle salt stick, versus the half tablespoon margarine I usually use.

Homemade fries, sprayed with four or five grams olive oil in an air fryer taste as good or better than fast food.

Our Ninja Creami ice cream maker is a joy. Husband (also on MFP) and I split an oversized pint of homemade ice cream every night. 100-150 calories apiece- and that includes a dollop of spray whipped cream.

Diet sodas for sugar. Soda water with a strip of orange rind. Fancy Starbucks-looking coffees we make at home for well under 50 calories for a giant cup.

Start by logging a “normal” day and then start making small changes. Where can I cut back? How can I make this lower calorie? Is there a way to adjust the recipe, my cooking style, or both to make it healthier.

Encourage her to go on walks with you. Make it a mother/daughter or a family habit.

I’m older and retired. No joke. When my neighbors found out I was trying to exercise more they walked me in shifts like a dog. Turns out, they were overjoyed to have company on their walks.

mrsmeteor

Nckr66 wrote: »

Looking for some insight please.

My question is - did anyone feel this way when they were very overweight, and did your energy levels increase with weight loss?
Thank you.

Yes, to answer that question.

You're the only one who will know when you are ready. We're all different. I was watching a guy on Youtube who was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and STILL didn't take the necessary steps to save himself, and he himself couldn't answer the question why not. You'd think that situation would have been rock bottom for him, but it wasn't, and he's not the only one out there like that.

You want to change, and that's good, plus you mention your daughter as a motivation, so you definitely have a reason to make changes. I am ONLY speaking for myself here, but I had to visualize the end goal and make myself start the process while realizing that results would be slow at first and the whole process would be long. Willpower wasn't the answer (because willpower flags), but self discipline. Also, celebrating every little success to really prove to myself that it was working.

I hope you find what gets you going...best of luck!

kshama2001

Nckr66 wrote: »

Thanks so much to everyone, this gives me hope.

I appreciate the candor. I absolutely do need to be inspirational and a good role model for my daughter/S. Admittedly I took her diagnosis very hard and it does creep back up on me. I have spoken to a doctor about anxiety and depression but other than a couple years on a waiting list and meds that didn't do anything for me, I haven't made much progress.
I don't want to have a pity party, however.

I haven't given up yet and that's what matters. Can't tell you how hopeful your stories make me. I really am grateful for those sharing your experiences. The idea of having a lot more energy is really exciting, as I do think it holds me back quite a bit. But I am essentially carrying a whole separate person so I guess that would take it's toll.
☺️

Over the decades, I have tried literally over a dozen different antidepressants, and the only one that works for me (and does not have unacceptable side effects) is Wellbutrin. It's also a little speedy, which really helps me be more active. Unlike many antidepressants, it is not associated with appetite increase.

The other thing that helps is creating habits and just doing it.

Here's a great article on why we shouldn't wait for motivation: https://www.wisdomination.com/screw-motivation-what-you-need-is-discipline/

NVR2OLD1961

Yes, I felt that way and yes I felt much more energetic as I lost the excess weight. It was substitute doctor telling me I was obese that started my eye opening to how far I’d gone. I joined a local gym and all I would do is walk on the treadmill for the first 6 weeks. That and colorize counting is what I did to start this new life. I can remember in the first month I would drive to the gym and think I’ll just sit here for 20 minutes and go home and just tell my wife I did my walking. I never followed through with that idea, I couldn’t lie to her like that. I absolutely hated the thought of getting back on the treadmill. After about week 5 a switch flipped and it started to become an addiction. For me to be successful I need the process to be slow and steady so I could maintain a new life style. 5 years later and I’m still at it although I’m not on the treadmill nearly as much as I used to be. My transformation has actually inspired others around me to make a change in their lives as well. Some long term and others gave in to not pushing through. I am so thankful that the doctor I didn’t normally see called me out when I needed to hear it! I wish you all the best as you try to find your way to a new and healthier lifestyle.

Kiwi2mfp

springlering62 wrote: »

I’d like a HURRAH button on this thing for @Kiwi2mfp

Congrats!!!!!!!

Thank you! That is very sweet of you to say. I am sorry that it took so long to reply, just saw this.

ninerbuff

Most obese people feel "lazy" to workout because they've been working out by carrying the extra 100+lbs around all day. When I get an obese client, I DON'T put them through a crazy workout or even a general one that many of my clients do.
I just have them do some balance walking, dynamic movements to help stretch out muscles they seldom use, and some light arm work.
Weight loss is entirely going to depend on your caloric intake and not so much how much you burn in a day.



A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

schoolnurselm

Your calorie intake is key to losing or gaining weight. You can sit on the couch and lose weight. It’s possible. I don’t go to a gym, I don’t use any exercise equipment. I log my food intake without a food scale, I cut out wine, and I meet my calorie goal for the day. It works! Too many people give up because they think they need to weigh food and knock themselves out with exercise. Lifestyle is a choice, what you eat and drink is a choice. It’s pretty basic stuff. Of course, activity tolerance improves when a person isn’t overweight. Again, pretty basic stuff. Best of luck to anyone trying to lose weight. It’s a real commitment to eat and drink less than a person is accustomed to and some days are easier than others. My motivation is the number on the scale every morning, but that’s a controversial subject as well. You do you.