Need advice from middle aged people who have successfully lost moderate amounts of weight

LKArgh

During the last years I have steadily gained weight, about 10 kilos or 20 pounds, putting me from a healthy weigh to a little overweight.
I have found that both counting calories and following a program by a dietician are not working, for the very simple reason I give up after a few months.

Now I wonder if someone has had success adapting their lifestyle when their body needs a small amount of calories and how?

For context, I am female, middle aged with a desk job. I exercise 4-5 hours per week and have been doing so consistently for years. I cannot do much cardio, due to past injuries, so it is mostly pilates, body weight training and swimming, but I do try to add some 20-30 minute walking intervals throughout my week on top of everything else.

I do not have a diary to share, because I am debating how to start again. Counting is easy, what to eat is the problem. My dietician's advice if really broken down is "eat more salad" but I am tired of accompanying every single meal with a salad, especially in winter when there is not much variety and also little time to prep.

By measuring everything with a scale for a long time (and losing weight but getting tired of the process), I realise I need about 1500 calories to maintain, less to lose. I cook most meals at home, followl mostly a Medittaranean diet (just the way I eat naturally, the foods I like), do not eat junk food other than a rare treat like some chocolate per week or an ice-cream on a weekend etc, do not drink sodas, drink a couple of glasses of wine per week etc, so there is nothing big to cut out or change. Which also explains why I am slowly but steadily gaining or at best maintaining and there is not a huge amounts suddently gained etc, I simply am hungry.

Any ideas? I cannot be the only perimenopausal woman facing this issue

ddsb1111

Peri here too 🤦🏼‍♀️. Taking HRT and DHEA, but it hasn’t had any impact on my weight. You expressed that-

“Counting is easy, what to eat is the problem.”

but then say,

“I cook most meals at home, followl mostly a Medittaranean diet (just the way I eat naturally, the foods I like), do not eat junk food other than a rare treat like some chocolate per week or an ice-cream on a weekend etc, do not drink sodas, drink a couple of glasses of wine per week etc, so there is nothing big to cut out or change.”

And also this,

“I have found that both counting calories and following a program by a dietician are not working, for the very simple reason I give up after a few months.”

It’s not what you’re eating, you just eat slightly more calories than you use. If you’ve gained 20 lbs in 10 years that’s the equivalent of 2 lbs per year or 20 extra calories a day. That’s such a tiny amount that adds up over time, which is why keeping track of your weekly weight is a good idea, it gives you time to course correct. Your peri doesn’t have much to do with that except for energy levels, which I struggle with too. Not fun but it can be counteracted in ways.

What foods do you love that fill you up and satiate you the most? Salads don’t do that for everyone. Maybe it’s swapping out 1 high fat treat with a low cal option with protein? Maybe it’s using IF as a tool to minimize your eating window to consume less calories? I see nothing wrong with what you’re eating and your exercise is good, so it’s likely a small tweak and doing that consistently.

Can you cut out 250 calories a day temporarily? That’s a small change, like 1 avocado, Greek yogurt, a candy bar, nuts, you get the idea. It’s a pretty small amount of high caloric food you can switch out for something filling with less calories.

If you try this and see no change in 4-6 weeks then you’re still eating in maintenance. If you get super fed up with it you might have to go back to counting calories again. It’s the trade off for being the size you want sometimes.

PAV8888

Instead of adding salads (which I often find to be a bit too calorically spendy for my tastes) I often choose to increase the vegetable portion of my meals.

By increase, I mean increase. Like 750g of vegetables a day being more of a rule than an exception. Picking the "right" veggies would make that a 220 to 350 Cal expense.

And for some heretical thinking, check out the calories in baby potatoes (without butters and sour creams and this that and the other) and evaluate whether they may be worth the satiation you get. A lb of baby potatoes that can be ready in minutes comes in at 350 Cal if you season them with just salt/pepper (or no more than 1.5g of olive oil). Or you could use 0% greek yogurt instead of sour cream and increase protein too.

sollyn23l2

I'm going to be honest. You know exactly what to do, you just don't care enough about it to do anything. Nobody else can make or convince you to do what you need to do. Frankly, you'll probably ignore this too, or say I'm being unfair and reiterate how hard it is. At the end of the day, if the 20 pounds doesn't bother you enough to make changes, you won't. And that's ok.

xbowhunter

sollyn23l2 wrote: »

I'm going to be honest. You know exactly what to do, you just don't care enough about it to do anything. Nobody else can make or convince you to do what you need to do. Frankly, you'll probably ignore this too, or say I'm being unfair and reiterate how hard it is. At the end of the day, if the 20 pounds doesn't bother you enough to make changes, you won't. And that's ok.

This!

cmriverside

Yep.

Do or do not.

Log your food, every day. It's the easiest way.

LKArgh

PAV8888 wrote: »

Instead of adding salads (which I often find to be a bit too calorically spendy for my tastes) I often choose to increase the vegetable portion of my meals.

By increase, I mean increase. Like 750g of vegetables a day being more of a rule than an exception. Picking the "right" veggies would make that a 220 to 350 Cal expense.

And for some heretical thinking, check out the calories in baby potatoes (without butters and sour creams and this that and the other) and evaluate whether they may be worth the satiation you get. A lb of baby potatoes that can be ready in minutes comes in at 350 Cal if you season them with just salt/pepper (or no more than 1.5g of olive oil). Or you could use 0% greek yogurt instead of sour cream and increase protein too.

That could work, I am going to give it a try, both the volume eating on cooked vegetables and the added protein.

LKArgh

sollyn23l2 wrote: »

I'm going to be honest. You know exactly what to do, you just don't care enough about it to do anything. Nobody else can make or convince you to do what you need to do. Frankly, you'll probably ignore this too, or say I'm being unfair and reiterate how hard it is. At the end of the day, if the 20 pounds doesn't bother you enough to make changes, you won't. And that's ok.

I have no idea where this is coming from, since I did not complain about unfairness etc.
I am asking for practical ideas that have helped other people feel fuller while slightly reducing calories, and make sustainable changes. If others have found such ideas, foods, routines etc that help them reach their calorie goals more easily, some of these ideas might fit into my lifestyle too

claireychn074

The key to being full is finding out what personally makes YOU feel full. Salads are great and I love them but they don’t fill me up. Can you spend a bit of extra time initially tracking how you feel with certain foods? It could help you to stick to the reduced calories over a longer period with a bit of investment in time initially.

For instance, I’m a carb lover so I eat fairly high carb but I also know that a vegetable-heavy diet keeps me full for longer than a bread-heavy diet. I find protein filling but I just don’t enjoy that much fat, I know an ideal meal for me is a light protein (fish, chicken etc) with a tonne of roasted veg in a nice herb base.

I might fancy a lighter tea but I know it won’t keep me going, so I also eat seeds and nuts as I can cope with those fats and I find them sustaining. I love fruit and will eat loads of it but it won’t keep me going - it causes a blood sugar spike and then crash.

I don’t subscribe to the “eat salads” with every meal to lose weight (unless you want to), it’s about personal experimentation and finding what works for you.

Track long enough and it becomes merely another habit - I’ve been doing it for years and it’s just something I habitually do now. Others on here no longer have to track as they hit their desired weight and can maintain by eyeballing foods.

yirara

Yeah, what works for you is totally individual. I don't eat a lot of meat. If I for example make a curry or stew I tend to add lots of veggies and chose to add fairly little sauce because my sauces, while not full of fats or cream do contain masses of spices that also add up easily. If you eat lots of meat then look out for leaner cuts. Pork chops are fairly lean I think, chicken breast instead of thigh, etc.

A trick to keep calories down for some dishes that require coconut milk is that I use skyr or low fat thick yogurt and coconut rasps. Mind, this does not work with all dishes of course.

PAV8888

yirara wrote: »

Pork chops are fairly lean I think, chicken breast instead of thigh

It is ridiculous how few calories meat and (many but not all) veggies--or even meat and potatoes--can be without the addition of sauces or extra fats.

In fact, for many people (myself included) if you were to truly limit your intake to nothing but such you would not be able to achieve maintenance EVEN as a volume eater.

Logging is a very useful tool to figure out what works and what doesn't for each person. And things do change slowly over time. So adjustment is needed.

The whole process is not fire and forget for YOU, the person reading this. If it was likely to be fire and forget without SOME individually variable level of ongoing "minding", you would probably NOT be here reading this in the first place!

Exchange of ideas helps. But the effort then has to be applied.

I can tell you right now that quite often what doesn't get measured doesn't get managed.

Ask yourself the following question: am I tired of the process of logging or am I tired of the restrictions to my inclinations and ensuing behavior modification that come from logging?

IF YOUR GOALS ARE APPROPRIATE (i.e. you are not restricting excessively/not allowing ebb and flow), you MAY be able to embrace logging as a tool that allows you to EXPLORE alternative options and maximize the GOODIES you can enjoy within your budget. Or you can view it as the enemy that limits you. Which, of course, will make you resent the process.

Regardless of whether you log or not, you will still have the same underlying budget unless you also make changes to your activity level.

sollyn23l2

LKArgh wrote: »

sollyn23l2 wrote: »

I'm going to be honest. You know exactly what to do, you just don't care enough about it to do anything. Nobody else can make or convince you to do what you need to do. Frankly, you'll probably ignore this too, or say I'm being unfair and reiterate how hard it is. At the end of the day, if the 20 pounds doesn't bother you enough to make changes, you won't. And that's ok.

I have no idea where this is coming from, since I did not complain about unfairness etc.
I am asking for practical ideas that have helped other people feel fuller while slightly reducing calories, and make sustainable changes. If others have found such ideas, foods, routines etc that help them reach their calorie goals more easily, some of these ideas might fit into my lifestyle too

It comes from the fact that you yourself acknowledge that you tend to give up relatively quickly. That being said, only you can figure out what way of eating will work for you. If you don't want to increase veggies, you'll have to find another way to limit calories (like increasing protein.) Every body is different in hoe they want to achieve their calorie deficit.

smokieriver

PAV8888 wrote: »

yirara wrote: »

Pork chops are fairly lean I think, chicken breast instead of thigh

It is ridiculous how few calories meat and (many but not all) veggies--or even meat and potatoes--can be without the addition of sauces or extra fats.

In fact, for many people (myself included) if you were to truly limit your intake to nothing but such you would not be able to achieve maintenance EVEN as a volume eater.

Logging is a very useful tool to figure out what works and what doesn't for each person. And things do change slowly over time. So adjustment is needed.

The whole process is not fire and forget for YOU, the person reading this. If it was likely to be fire and forget without SOME individually variable level of ongoing "minding", you would probably NOT be here reading this in the first place!

Exchange of ideas helps. But the effort then has to be applied.

I can tell you right now that quite often what doesn't get measured doesn't get managed.

Ask yourself the following question: am I tired of the process of logging or am I tired of the restrictions to my inclinations and ensuing behavior modification that come from logging?

IF YOUR GOALS ARE APPROPRIATE (i.e. you are not restricting excessively/not allowing ebb and flow), you MAY be able to embrace logging as a tool that allows you to EXPLORE alternative options and maximize the GOODIES you can enjoy within your budget. Or you can view it as the enemy that limits you. Which, of course, will make you resent the process.

Regardless of whether you log or not, you will still have the same underlying budget unless you also make changes to your activity level.

Right on! The bolded part.

Eating proteins seems to be pretty low calories and satisfying! And a huge bowl of (boiled then sauteed) solid veggies (eg carrots, white broccoli, celery) makes you feel healthy.

Logging calories is great. Works well and I don't even count 100%. After a few months of counting I can let a bit of butter, a couple of dried bananas, etc slip by and simply estimate 100 kcal! Weight still good the next day.

Good luck.

mtaratoot

PAV8888 wrote: »

Instead of adding salads (which I often find to be a bit too calorically spendy for my tastes) I often choose to increase the vegetable portion of my meals.

What are you putting in your salads to make them higher calorie? I've been adding lots more salads the last couple months because I love the raw vegetables. I do recognize that some nutrients are more bio available if I cook the vegetables, but I really like crunching on them. Yesterday's HUGE salad had a bunch of spring mix, jicama, broccoli, red bell, some red onion, and a couple anchovies. I dress the greens first with what the bottle of dressing says is a half serving for 60 calories. That's a little less than 30% of the calories for sure.

The entire salad was only 60% of the calories that the bowl of split pea and barley soup I had afterwards, so definitely worth it. But I like raw veggies.

emmamcgarity

I also eat a Mediterranean/DASH style diet with occasional treats. The one macro I pay attention to is protein. My personal goal is to get 100g of protein each day based on my goal weight. So I break down each meal into 30ish gram mini goals to help me mentally stay on track for the day. I keep some flavors of Greek yogurt on hand that I enjoy to add to any meal or snack that looks low on my mini goal.

The other thing to experiment with is meal timing. Some people prefer a large meal at the end of the day. I find that I am more satisfied by making sure I start the day with a hearty breakfast. I find I am less likely to crave snacks that way.

Remember that since you only have 20 lbs to lose that the weight loss will be slower. That can also mean that fluctuations on the scale might mask your progress. You might consider using a weight trending app like Happy Scale to track your trend weight to help you see progress that might be masked by fluctuations.

lynn_glenmont

Maybe change out salads for soups, especially in winter when you say salads don't appeal. To limit calories, stick with clear or tomato-based broths (rather than cream-based). You can find plenty of canned soups at less than 100 calories a serving, and if you'd rather make your own from scratch, a few minutes browsing the canned soup labels could give you ideas on types of soup li likely to be lower in calories.

AnnPT77

The one nonnegotiable element for success IMO is committing to it, then persisting patiently. (I think of this as the "gotta wanna" element.)

That's true whether the person calorie counts, or makes some other change(s) in habits to either consume fewer calories consistently (on average) or burn more calories consistently (on average).

You say that "I have found that both counting calories and following a program by a dietician are not working, for the very simple reason I give up after a few months." To me, that feels like a "gotta wanna" problem. If that seems harsh, I'm sorry . . . but I think it's a key issue.

I can think of 3 general things you could do to get around that.

1. Make easier changes.

I don't know what that would look like for you. Conceptually, it's easier to stick with changes that are easier, that fit into our lives better, but what those are tends to be very individual. I can draw an exaggerated cartoon picture of the opposite, "make it harder", to maybe explain a little bit. A common thing we see here is people who adopt some kind of restrictive eating rules that aren't very pleasant to them, or start punitively intense, exhausting exercise. Maybe it's never to eat potatoes or bread or pizza, maybe it's doing HIIT workouts for a hour every day - whatever.

But it's miserable, as if fat were a sin we needed to expiate by suffering. They don't stick with it long term, because normal humans can't stick to miserable things long term through sheer will power.

2. Find a way to change your routine daily eating habits in ways that don't require counting calories or following a formal, structured diet plan.

People can make changes in their routine that result in lower calories, such as eating fried foods only rarely, reducing portion sizes by 1/3 or whatever, skipping snacks, eating more low-cal veggies to get full, or whatever. The "make it easy" idea still applies, but the key thing here is to look at daily life patterns and cut out something(s) manageable that's contributing quite a few calories. (Most of us have some handle on what those things might be, especially if having logged at some point.)

You mention hunger when cutting things out. IMO, the answer to that is experimenting. Different people find different things sating. What we eat (specific food choices, macro intake) can affect satiation, as can timing of eating. Timing-wise, different people do best on anything from one meal a day (OMAD) to many small snack-sized mini-meals spread through the day, and everything in between. It's possible that some different strategy might serve you better, but the only way to find out is to try a new routine for a few days, and see how it goes.

Since the majority of our days cause the majority of our results (not that rare day when we eat too much cake or work out for 6 hours), examining and changing daily routine habits is a power tool for weight management.

3. Figure out ways to burn more calories.

This is not the "punitive exercise" idea. "Make it easy" still applies.

There are two things that are common (statistically speaking) as we age: We lose muscle mass if we're not consistently doing things to remind our bodies to stay strong, and our daily life activity tends to gradually ramp down. Both of those reduce our calorie needs.

Our actual metabolism doesn't change much from 20s through 60s, and then the decline is quite gradual, so the issues are mostly elsewhere. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8370708/)

It also requires patient persistence, but regular progressive strength training can add back muscle mass (more effectively at maintenance calories than when in a deficit, though it helps us keep muscle mass when in a deficit). A pound of muscle burns a tiny number of calories more at rest than a pound of fat, but it's only around 2-8 calories per pound per day difference.

The bigger deal IMO is that as we lose muscle mass it's less easy and less fun to move (in daily life or exercise), so we tend to do less spontaneous movement. Spontaneous movement can burn a surprising number of calories daily. (Fidgety people have been found to burn up to low hundreds of calories more daily than otherwise similar non-fidgety people. I'm not saying you should fidget, just underscoring how subtle the differences may be.)

It sounds like you're doing some strength work, which may be all you need, but it's not clear how challenging or progressive it is, so I'm mentioning this anyway.

The other things is that daily life movement. I don't know about you, but it's statistically common for people in their 20s to have more walking/biking in their transportation, have more physical jobs, maybe be chasing toddlers or doing hands-on home improvement projects (that we're more likely to hire out as we get older), have more physical social lives (clubbing, dancind, sports, whatever), and that sort of thing. For many of us, that activity gradually, subtly slows unnoticed over a period of decades, and gradually has a meaningful impact on calorie needs.

Some of that can be reversed, with attention and persistence. Many MFP-ers share their ideas for increasing daily life movement in this thread:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10610953/neat-improvement-strategies-to-improve-weight-loss/p1

Not all of those things will work for everyone, but there may be some workable ideas in there.

As context, I lost weight at 59-60, around 50-ish pounds in a bit under a year. I'm 68 now, and still at a healthy weight. I'm not perimenopausal: I've been in menopause since chemotherapy in my mid-40s. I'm also severely hypothyroid (but medicated). In what I wrote above, I'm talking about concepts I used myself to lose weight and keep it off in ways that were realistic and sustainable for me. My specific actions are unlikely to work for anyone else, but maybe some of the concepts can.

My sense is that successful long term weight management requires very individual, personalized tactics. That means that weight loss is a major opportunity for repeated analysis and problem solving, figuring out how to harness new daily routine habits that can continue long-term nearly on autopilot when other parts of life get complicated. To me, it's like a fun, productive science fair experiment for grown-ups.

I wish you success at it, because IME the results are worth it. Best wishes!