I can't get motivated

MFitzRN

34 yr old mother of 2. I really want to lose weight but I have trouble getting started. I think it's because I have so much to lose , in fact in the last 5 months I have actually gained 25 lbs. I haven't changed anything in my diet or exercise, if anything i have decreased my intake. I can't figure out what I am doing to cause the gain. I am 100+ pounds overweight. My doctors don't seem to want to figure out why...I feel annoyed. They only say diet and exercise. Duh! I know this, don't keep saying it...tell me why I am gaining when I am obviously trying to...I have cut calories substantially and I am trying to excercise, I have gained so much that I become winded easily. I sound whiny I know..I know I am morbidly obese if I don't do something I am not going to be around too long. I live away from my family and friends and don't really know people here well enough to have any support system. Sad to say this but my husband as sweet as he sounds saying it loves me no matter what and has said frequently he dont like skinny..so home support is not there either..what can I do to get motivated when it seems I just keep failing?

LucarinoN

You can be friend people like me that have the same problems in life and are trying to be motivated as well.. We can motivate each other !! I am here I would love to be your support and I def love to get support ))

t1nk6

You said it yourself. your just gaining and gaining and cant seem to exercise. so try to keep a diary on your food on here and watch your calories through it.peole have put some good info and advice on here.. get reading. your doing something and the pics on here are inspiring might just give you that kick into gear

you sound just like i was, i couldnt exercise..(stil cant under doctors orders) and the weight just kept creeping on. i cut down on fatty foods low salt and sugar, try to eat more often to keep up my metabolism (a piece of fruit or salad every 2 hours between meals). stopped snacking on junk and having takeaways, drinking lots of coffee or tea (all the milk and sugar adds up)

it doesnt matter if you lose a 1lb a week, its still coming off and all adds up, your going in the right direction

Jasminna

Your workout becomes so much more if you continue.
Do it for you, love who you are now and who you are as your goal weight.
Your mind is the only thing stopping you from becoming your dream.


Add me too I'm here for u
Also on Facebook
Facebook.com/revupurlife

genellenellie

I recently read a book called "Wheat Belly". Its a real eye opener as far as how wheat has been genetically altered over the years and one of the MANY things it causes is for your appetite to be out of control.

NonnyMary

You have to decide to do it for your self. If you listen to your husband and what he wants, you wont want to displease him maybe, and so you stay fat. or maybe he's just being nice. then again, some guys dont obsess about our looks as we, and they really mean it.

So figure out if you want to keep being winded when you are on vacation and cant walk around without looking for a bench every 20 minutes. you can walk up steps. you cant walk down steps.

My freind at work who works in an office all the way on the other side so i dont see her much, but hte other day she saw me and said wow you look so good, and she said, dont get like me where you get so bad you get diabetes and heart problems. to think if you can avoid getting diabetes thats like giving me another new life.

so you can enjoy the pleasure of food, or the pleasure of the things you will have if you dont overeat. it may seem like your at the bottom of Mt Everest, and where do you begin? well one day at a time. folow the MFP numbers and eat that. soon you will see a change, it may take a month for others to notice and their compliments are worth it.. they are pretty cool to actually notice the new you.

but the best part,, you get your energy back and truly it feels like you've been raised from the dead.

being fat keeps you in the house, cant do much and you feel like you've just about died. who wants to live like that? you are still young, many years to live.. you want to be there for your kids. what if you cant go to your kids schoool events.. wont that feel bad?

so just lose the weight and watch for exciting changes to happen daily or weekly. you will begin to see the new you thats been covered up in fat. keeping you disabled. no way to live really.

amazing, when you go to Target, they now have rows of handicapped scooters for people who are fat or disabled to ride around the store, about 10 years ago, this was not so,, they only had a few. so do you want to have to ride that scooter around the store? if you dont do sometihng about it, it may happen.

so start somewhere and start seeing the exciting changes and your new energy and strength and that will motivate you. but it wont magically happen, you have to make some effort..

NonnyMary

oh and if you have a doctor that you can see every 6 weeks, its a real cool accountability partner, where you can go to him, at your current fat weight, and then in 6 weeks you might have lost 12 pounds,, thats something that you can be proud of and exciting to show him what you did! doctors really love to see their patients lose the weight. its really something to look forward to and be accountable to,, and he can give you help.

Im going to the doctor in 3 weeks and for some reason, i think, wow i have to lose 1 pound a week to make my goal. well i made my goal and now i can happily say i lost 13 pounds between July 28 and September 10 and thats gonna be cool. I'm doing it mostly by diet and not much exercise yet.

same for you! what a feeling.. and you know what? if you lose 30 pounds it begins to show on your body, clothes fit, people see even that. its real fun to get those compliments. woops i already said that.

jetlag

Start by logging your food just to get a picture of what you're actually eating. Statements like, "if anything, I'm eating less" are vague and tell me you don't know how much you're eating. It will be an exercise in honesty, too. Honesty with yourself. It's too easy to not count the odd cookie/biscuit etc, because it's just ONE.

In a way, I really wish I'd kept a food log before I changed my way of eating. I think it would have been a real eye opener.


I also believe that a lack of motivation comes from a sense of helplessness. What's the point of trying if it won't make any difference anyway, right? Knowledge is the first weapon in your armoury. You are not helpless. You are not doomed. You do not need a magic pill or to find that secret diet food. You don't even need to exercise!

You just need to start.

thegongshow

I suggest joining a bootcamp. I became a stay at home mom last November and before I knew it I had gained 20lbs! I was having a really hard time getting motivated so I joined a bootcamp. It's been 4 weeks and I've lost 22inches and 4% of my body fat! Loggin everything and having motivating friends on here help as well! Feel free to add me if you like. Best wishes to you!

megalin9

1. You can't depend on being motivated. That is a fleeting emotion that changes. You have to make a DECISION. Yes, it's literally that simple. When you made the decision to marry your husband, you commited to him, correct? It's the same principle. If you wouldn't quit on your marriage, then don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on what you want and what you deserve to have.

2. If you make the decision to start, commit, and finish what you started, then you can't allow yourself any excuses. Excuses are only an internal voice distracting you from your goal. Lose them. Find a way to make it happen.

3. If you are gaining weight and do not have some kind of hormonal/metabollic disease, then more than likely, you are eating more than you think. Period. The only way to know for sure is to measure your food and log EVERYTHING.

4. Want it more than anything else you want for yourself. If you have a husband who loves you no matter what, then that is all the more reason to do it for YOU. And that is all the support from him that you need. You are your own person responsible for your own decisions. You are strong and capable, and you don't need his OK or encouragement to be a better You.

5. Educate yourself. Read. Research. Ask questions. Weed out the extremes, and apply what you've learned.

6. Make little changes, and make them slowly. Don't try a complete lifestyle overhaul in one day. Make one little change that you can stick with. As that becomes habit, make another little change you can stick with. One day many weeks/months/years from now, you will wake up and realize how your life is completely different than it is now...and all for the better!

7. Lift heavy weights. Your body will thank you for it, and you will fall in love with yourself.

8. Set goals. ATTAINABLE goals. Working towards a goal makes this whole thing more than just about a number on the scale. It keeps you focused on something. Reaching goals is addictive, and you'll constantly be setting new ones, constantly working towards another achievement. ADDICTING, I tell you!!!!

Get started. Now. Just do it. I would say "good luck," but it has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with just making the decision to get it done.

:flowerforyou:

megalin9

I recently read a book called "Wheat Belly". Its a real eye opener as far as how wheat has been genetically altered over the years and one of the MANY things it causes is for your appetite to be out of control.

Really? That's the best advice you could come up with for someone who says they need motivation? Of all the things!

MinnieInMaine

You said you talked to your doc about it but you didn't give specifics - like did you actually have tests done to check for things like insulin resistance, thyroid issues, hormone issues (like PCOS)?

If you did and everything was normal then it has to be what you're eating. It's really tough to say for sure how your calorie intake is if you're not logging consistently so that's the first logical step. Also make sure you're weighing and measuring your food and checking food labels to make sure you've picked the right listings from the food database - if not, you're just guesstimating which isn't going to help in the long run.

I also believe strongly in planning and preparing your meals in advance as much as possible. Every weekend I sit down and create a list of what I'm going to make for dinners and what I'm going to pack for breakfast, lunch and snack for the week. From that I create my grocery list. With a plan in place, there's no last minute guessing what's going to be for dinner and giving into temptations because there's no time or energy so pizza takeout wins. I even fight my husband's want for takeout this way. He'll say "hey, why don't we get chinese tonight" and I'll say "sorry honey, there's chicken (or pork chops or whatever) in the fridge that I need to cook or it'll go bad. How about we get chinese in a couple days?" and that way I can plan having Chinese into my day (cut down on snacks, get more exercise in, etc)

And don't feel like you have to do this all or nothing. Losing weight doesn't mean you have to eat like a rabbit and exercise 4 hours a day. Just cut down on your portions, make healthier choices (fresh is best) and try to get as much activity in as you can.

Best of luck to you!

NonnyMary

Being so big, and facing yourself as being morbidly obese, and knowing that you love to eat fattening food, and are trying but not making much progress, CAN feel too huge to handle. Its like trying to clean Fibber McGees closet (you know the one where you open it and everything falls out coz its got so much stuff).

But like the other poster said above, making a decision is the way to go.

You have to start somewhere. May as well be today. When a few weeks have passed, it will have gone by and you can see what you've accomplished.. Heck maybe it will be a small change, but at least thats one thing.

Look toward every week to strive for one or two goals. focus on that, and soon you will be adding more and it will be exciting like "wow what can i work on now?" and soon each change will add to another and voila, you find you are doing it.

Dont worry about how mountainous it looks. Think about the people who climb Mt Everest. They go in stages. they even stop for a couple days of break before they climb to the next level. but they eventually get there. so just start and continue to do it, and you will be ok. dont look at the mountain you have to climb, but each day how you will handle just each day.

InForBacon

Markguns

---> The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting
started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small
manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.

-- Mark Twain (b: Samuel Langhorne Clemens) (1835-1910) :bigsmile:

_HeartsOnFire_

1. You can't depend on being motivated. That is a fleeting emotion that changes. You have to make a DECISION. Yes, it's literally that simple. When you made the decision to marry your husband, you commited to him, correct? It's the same principle. If you wouldn't quit on your marriage, then don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on what you want and what you deserve to have.

2. If you make the decision to start, commit, and finish what you started, then you can't allow yourself any excuses. Excuses are only an internal voice distracting you from your goal. Lose them. Find a way to make it happen.

3. If you are gaining weight and do not have some kind of hormonal/metabollic disease, then more than likely, you are eating more than you think. Period. The only way to know for sure is to measure your food and log EVERYTHING.

4. Want it more than anything else you want for yourself. If you have a husband who loves you no matter what, then that is all the more reason to do it for YOU. And that is all the support from him that you need. You are your own person responsible for your own decisions. You are strong and capable, and you don't need his OK or encouragement to be a better You.

5. Educate yourself. Read. Research. Ask questions. Weed out the extremes, and apply what you've learned.

6. Make little changes, and make them slowly. Don't try a complete lifestyle overhaul in one day. Make one little change that you can stick with. As that becomes habit, make another little change you can stick with. One day many weeks/months/years from now, you will wake up and realize how your life is completely different than it is now...and all for the better!

7. Lift heavy weights. Your body will thank you for it, and you will fall in love with yourself.

8. Set goals. ATTAINABLE goals. Working towards a goal makes this whole thing more than just about a number on the scale. It keeps you focused on something. Reaching goals is addictive, and you'll constantly be setting new ones, constantly working towards another achievement. ADDICTING, I tell you!!!!

Get started. Now. Just do it. I would say "good luck," but it has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with just making the decision to get it done.

:flowerforyou:

^^^This!!!

Fit4_Life

Start taking baby steps. Little by little you will endurance yourself along with losing weight. YOU, yourself have to be ready to change yourself. Read below and think it through~:huh:

Don’t stop now!! Continue to work on yourself and your dream. Don’t look for others to hold your heart, take your hand or have your back. You are responsible for your own life and for creating your own path. Commit to move out of your own way. Stop procrastinating or waiting for someone to rescue you. Be clear about who you can count on and who you must count out. Make adjustments and surround yourself with positive energy, people and thoughts. Great things take time, effort and sacrifice!! Keep looking up and moving forward with the end in mind. It's not over until you win!! You have something special. You have GREATNESS within you!! :bigsmile:

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

MattUFCP90X

Will power + small specific & measurable goals = Win
Set little things to get you started, and once you start seeing the success you will become addicted and the rest is easy.
Will power is the hardest part for most. You only need an hour a day. I am sure everyone watches TV or wastes an hour online doing something. Use that time for your health.

Good luck!
"You get what you tolerate" - Tony Robbins

CorlissaEats

Someone already said someting similar- but has your Doc checked your thyroid levels?

My SIL is having huge issues losing her baby weight and its her thyroid- which her Doc refuses to treat because they are currently trying for their second and it can mess with all that. Its a demotivating cycle.

higgi7

Lots of good advice here. Have the doctor's run all the necessary tests? Thyroid, hormone imbalance? Maybe see a nutritionist to get you started and then come back here daily. Logging your food will really make you realize how many empty calories we all consume when not paying attention. Good luck to you. I will add you as a friend for support. You are taking the first step -- from there you just take one step at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time. It will all add up!

anlu37

I recently read a book called "Wheat Belly". Its a real eye opener as far as how wheat has been genetically altered over the years and one of the MANY things it causes is for your appetite to be out of control.

Really? That's the best advice you could come up with for someone who says they need motivation? Of all the things!

no need to be rude. would you say that if this person were standing in front of you? ...something to think about maybe.

BrendaLee

1. You can't depend on being motivated. That is a fleeting emotion that changes. You have to make a DECISION. Yes, it's literally that simple. When you made the decision to marry your husband, you commited to him, correct? It's the same principle. If you wouldn't quit on your marriage, then don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on what you want and what you deserve to have.

I can't say it any better than this. Motivation comes and goes. It's not what's going to get you through this. You need to decide that there is no other option, because really, there isn't. You need to lose the weight. Now, you just have to do it. It's not easy, and it's not fun, but you can't live your life 100+ pounds overweight. That's not a life, and whatever sort of life it is will be a short one.

Once you get started, the pounds will start coming off, and they add up quickly. Before you know it, 50 pounds will be gone, and you'll be halfway to your goal. Seriously. We're talking a few months before you'll see a big number on your little MFP ticker. Those months are going to go by anyway. Make the most of them.

qtgonewild

The secret to successful weight loss is simple.

Self-Love.

Thats all the motivation you should need. Know that you are worthwhile and worthy of taking care of yourself.

bugtaylor

AMEN sistah

CaHusker

I can relate. I went through a tough 2012. After Gall bladder surgery I developed an infection inside me and the Doctors didn't discover it for 5 months. 5 months of pain (I lost 50 lbs during that time). Then a physical therapist performed a chiropractic move on my upper torso (He isn't a chiropractor!!) without telling me His intent and I received a compound fracture in my 9th and 10th vertebrae. ( No I didn't sue, I said as long as I recovered and could bowl and golf all would be cool) 12 weeks of antibiotics pumped into me via PICLine, 8 hours a day and the infection was gone, wore special brace and my vertebrae fused together. I slowly regained strength, gaining some weight, and then some more, and then the Holidays hit and I gained more to the point this past April that I was almost back to my very uncomfortable weight. Wasn't eating much, trying to exercise but no where near my past activity level. So my Doctor put me on a controlled weight loss plan. Look at my food diary from July. It ended 3 weeks ago and now I just follow the same plan with real foods. It taught me to eat at scheduled times throughout the day, eat proper foods, proper portions, and drink plenty of water, and of course exercise daily. I walk/jog/run 5 times per week and it gets easier every week. Logging everything on MyFitnessPal via my Iphone was the best thing that I could imagine. If you need help, friend me and I will help you keep motivated, friend others, we all need help
Steve

Tobi1013

1. You can't depend on being motivated. That is a fleeting emotion that changes. You have to make a DECISION. Yes, it's literally that simple. When you made the decision to marry your husband, you commited to him, correct? It's the same principle. If you wouldn't quit on your marriage, then don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on what you want and what you deserve to have.

2. If you make the decision to start, commit, and finish what you started, then you can't allow yourself any excuses. Excuses are only an internal voice distracting you from your goal. Lose them. Find a way to make it happen.

3. If you are gaining weight and do not have some kind of hormonal/metabollic disease, then more than likely, you are eating more than you think. Period. The only way to know for sure is to measure your food and log EVERYTHING.

4. Want it more than anything else you want for yourself. If you have a husband who loves you no matter what, then that is all the more reason to do it for YOU. And that is all the support from him that you need. You are your own person responsible for your own decisions. You are strong and capable, and you don't need his OK or encouragement to be a better You.

5. Educate yourself. Read. Research. Ask questions. Weed out the extremes, and apply what you've learned.

6. Make little changes, and make them slowly. Don't try a complete lifestyle overhaul in one day. Make one little change that you can stick with. As that becomes habit, make another little change you can stick with. One day many weeks/months/years from now, you will wake up and realize how your life is completely different than it is now...and all for the better!

7. Lift heavy weights. Your body will thank you for it, and you will fall in love with yourself.

8. Set goals. ATTAINABLE goals. Working towards a goal makes this whole thing more than just about a number on the scale. It keeps you focused on something. Reaching goals is addictive, and you'll constantly be setting new ones, constantly working towards another achievement. ADDICTING, I tell you!!!!

Get started. Now. Just do it. I would say "good luck," but it has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with just making the decision to get it done.

:flowerforyou:

This is stated more perfectly than anything I could offer, so I'm just gonna...QFT.

OrionsBell

Hi. I'm new, so I can't really offer sage advice. But I can offer my support. In the few hours I have been here, I have already received very encouraging emails and comments from people. Believe me, that goes a long way towards putting your feet on a healthy path. My mind is focused on one thing, just for today, and that is making healthy choices. I am already drinking a huge glass of water and ate a very healthy breakfast - This time it was easy to say NO to my husband when he offered me cinnamon rolls - TWICE! I tend to be an emotional eater, so, being here allows me to channel my emotions into something productive, and to put myself first for a change. The best thing I can say is start out small, and don't be afraid to exercise a little. You will find that it will get a little easier each time. You can do this... I didn't think I could either because I have no one in my life to support me in anything like this...but now I have the awesome people on this site going through the same shared experience. Good luck, and friend me if you want.

emirror

My hubby said he liked me bigger, too. The bedroom aspect of the relationship did not diminish.

However, he caresses me with his hands a lot more now. My tush gets swatted a lot more when I walk past him. He puffs up and stands closer to me when we are out in public.

So, I guess you could say I did it all for the nookie. ;-)

abtsdiet

Wow. First of all...thank you for sharing.

Sweetie...be honest with yourself. Most people don't gain weight if they are eating well and exercising. Are you sure you're taking care of yourself? Really? It's easy for me to "lie" to myself and pretty soon I start to believe my lies. I think it's called denial.

Anyway...if you really are gaining weight for no reason...find another doctor. Maybe you do have some type of medical condition. Keep trying.

Again...thanks for sharing. I wish you all the best.

goalss4nika

1. You can't depend on being motivated. That is a fleeting emotion that changes. You have to make a DECISION. Yes, it's literally that simple. When you made the decision to marry your husband, you commited to him, correct? It's the same principle. If you wouldn't quit on your marriage, then don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on what you want and what you deserve to have.

2. If you make the decision to start, commit, and finish what you started, then you can't allow yourself any excuses. Excuses are only an internal voice distracting you from your goal. Lose them. Find a way to make it happen.

3. If you are gaining weight and do not have some kind of hormonal/metabollic disease, then more than likely, you are eating more than you think. Period. The only way to know for sure is to measure your food and log EVERYTHING.

4. Want it more than anything else you want for yourself. If you have a husband who loves you no matter what, then that is all the more reason to do it for YOU. And that is all the support from him that you need. You are your own person responsible for your own decisions. You are strong and capable, and you don't need his OK or encouragement to be a better You.

5. Educate yourself. Read. Research. Ask questions. Weed out the extremes, and apply what you've learned.

6. Make little changes, and make them slowly. Don't try a complete lifestyle overhaul in one day. Make one little change that you can stick with. As that becomes habit, make another little change you can stick with. One day many weeks/months/years from now, you will wake up and realize how your life is completely different than it is now...and all for the better!

7. Lift heavy weights. Your body will thank you for it, and you will fall in love with yourself.

8. Set goals. ATTAINABLE goals. Working towards a goal makes this whole thing more than just about a number on the scale. It keeps you focused on something. Reaching goals is addictive, and you'll constantly be setting new ones, constantly working towards another achievement. ADDICTING, I tell you!!!!

Get started. Now. Just do it. I would say "good luck," but it has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with just making the decision to get it done.

:flowerforyou:

^^^This!!!

WOW! I needed this for myself :-) But you can do it. I am a mother of 2 as well and sometimes it just gets so hard, BUT I have joined a gym with daycare so no excuses for me. I wish you much success.

maillemaker

34 yr old mother of 2. I really want to lose weight but I have trouble getting started. I think it's because I have so much to lose , in fact in the last 5 months I have actually gained 25 lbs. I haven't changed anything in my diet or exercise, if anything i have decreased my intake. I can't figure out what I am doing to cause the gain. I am 100+ pounds overweight. My doctors don't seem to want to figure out why...I feel annoyed. They only say diet and exercise. Duh! I know this, don't keep saying it...tell me why I am gaining when I am obviously trying to...I have cut calories substantially and I am trying to excercise, I have gained so much that I become winded easily. I sound whiny I know..I know I am morbidly obese if I don't do something I am not going to be around too long. I live away from my family and friends and don't really know people here well enough to have any support system. Sad to say this but my husband as sweet as he sounds saying it loves me no matter what and has said frequently he dont like skinny..so home support is not there either..what can I do to get motivated when it seems I just keep failing?

I'm assuming since you have been to doctors that there is nothing medically wrong with you, like a thyroid problem. This would show up in a blood test, which I'm assuming you had.

If you are healthy and you are gaining weight, it's because you are eating a calorie surplus. It's as simple as that.

The very first thing you should do, and it requires no motivation or special effort at all, is to start logging your food here.

And that means honestly tracking your food.

The biggest benefit I get from this web site, and it sustains my motivation, is to have an active friend list. Also, I have set up MFP to post my updates to my facebook page. This way, I know people are watching me. Also, when people "like" my progress or comment on it, these "attaboys" keep me going.

I recommend you read through the forums and click on the profiles of people that inspire you or are in a similar situation to you. I like to pick friends who are my age who are in great shape. They amaze me. I look at them and think, "Wow, I want to be like them! I want to be 45 and have people look at me and think, "I want to date that person so hard! " (that's a joke - I'm married).

My friends are my biggest inspiration and motivation.

Also trust me that when I say that though your husband may be nice and saying things like "Oh, I don't like skinny women" trust me, he won't kick you out of bed if you turn into a supermodel.