Significant Others.

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PattyTheUndefeated
PattyTheUndefeated Posts: 302 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I must say that after a year of being on MFP, I've read my share of heart-breaking stories. But what I think takes the cake (in my opinion anyway) is posts by frustrated MFPers who rant/blog about unsupportive significant others.
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I've heard ridiculuous stories about Husbands/Wives/Family Members who turn into jealous,angry, unsupportive saboteurs. I read posts where one person would undermine the other persons eating habits, mock them or make them feel like their efforts are unmerited or not enough, accusing them of having self-centered or selfish motivations for wanting to lose weight or get fit other than to be a healthy and happy individual. (I mean, really!?) Everyone around the said person panics. It's almost as if a balance has been thrown off.

It seems that alot of men/women who are in this boat are the major providers or caretakers for the family and are the glue that keep things together, they are selfless people who feel like they are forced (by some unsaid rule) to take care of everyone else except themselves and that everyone else around them expects them to remain that (unhealthy) way, remain the 'solid rock of sameness' , whether they say it or not, that keeps things together while making everyone feeling okay and comfortable about themselves, like mothers for example.

I dunno, maybe I'm looking too much into this topic, but I must say that a little part of me dies whenever I read a post by someone in that situation. I'm oh so very grateful that I have a supportive husband who's in this with me.

<3

Replies

  • sissytx
    sissytx Posts: 50
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    83 lbs that is awesome.

    I am also lucky that I have a supportive hubby that will even go to gym with me.

    Yea, for the spouses that support our lifestyle changes.
  • velvetechos
    velvetechos Posts: 234
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    Those are quite sad situations. My husband is very supportive, he takes the baby every day when he gets home from work so I can have some "me time" to workout, study, or do whatever. He lets me plan meals - and eats whatever it is I make even my newer healthier dinners :) He's just overall amazing!

    I think some of the unsupportiveness is individuals feeling as if someone around them trying to better themselves is a judgment on everyone else - even if it isn't. Perhaps being around someone that is trying to make improvements to their own life causes others to feel like they should be improving as well. It jolts them out of their comfort zone, and they don't like what they see. The "fat friend" no longer ordering dessert doesn't give others the usual excuse to indulge and it's jarring.... Quite sad.
  • Kath15
    Kath15 Posts: 165 Member
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    I totally know what you are saying. My husband is wonderful and very supportive so I can't imagine being in that situation. In fact, he was on board with the exercise and healthier eating long before I was. BUT, he never made me feel bad about myself for not getting on the bandwagon. Though he wouldn't say it, I know that he wanted me to work on being healthier but wasn't going to push me. I am extremely glad that I finally came around to it myself because amongst others things, making the commitment to living a healthier lifestyle has definitely created an even stronger bond between us. So, I do find it very upsetting when I see a lack of support out there because I would love for my fellow MFPers to share what I am experiencing.

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