Desperate and panicking.

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hjwm68khx4
hjwm68khx4 Posts: 1 Member
Hello 👋🏻

I am not new to the app but I am starting again. Again.

I am a mid 40 year old single parent to two kids. I work full time in a school and I am very overweight. I piled on the weight during my marriage which ended a year ago. I ate because I was unhappy and because I was being subjected to mental and physical abuse. I now know I ate so I was unattractive to try to stop the sexual abuse. I have been through therapy and am now divorced and happier. I just need to rid myself of this final layer of the old me and it’s a struggle.

There are so many diets, advice, theories that I find it completely overwhelming. I wish I could have someone say “do this and don’t do that” and I just follow the instructions. Life isn’t that simple though!

I used to run but I find it very hard now with so much extra weight. I have around 100lbs to lose.

I am desperate to lose the weight as it’s now a reminder of what I went through and I’m panicking that it’s too late and I’m now stuck like this.

Please throw all of your advice at me!

Replies

  • kelz1481
    kelz1481 Posts: 1 Member
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    Hi just wanted to say I am where you are so know how you are feeling I’m not new here either so starting again again like you! I’m 44 this year mum of 5 and escaped a violent relationship which made me eat for comfort really, I recently lost 1.5 stones but now put back on nearly 1stone due to illness and not being able to get out so again the vicious cycle of comfort eating I’m now back on my feet and need to shift this weight it’s affecting my mental health I’m a member of slimming world which works for me I’ve lost 6 stones over the years I’d be very happy to advise you on what to eat etc feel free to drop me a message also be proud of who you are now and that you are a survivor like me be nice to have someone who understands to chat to and help each other on our journey take care 😊
  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 844 Member
    edited May 24
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    1. Set up your goals in MFP
    2. Eat that many calories per day
    3. Log your food in your food diary

    That’s pretty much it. If you’re stuck for more than 4 weeks you might need to tighten your logging. A food scale to measure how much you’re actually eating will take out all of the guesswork, and save you weeks of trying with no change. I’d rather just weigh the food and move on with my life 😆

    The 3 steps above are the only things you need. It’s simple but not easy. But if you’re serious about losing the weight, start immediately and don’t give up.
  • Hobartlemagne
    Hobartlemagne Posts: 269 Member
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    You can do this!

    The most concise advice I can think of is to understand and record what foods/drinks you consume.

    Start by cutting out any drink that has calories. Our bodies have a hard time managing fullness signals with drinks. If you're a regular snacker, switching from sweet to savory can help a little bit with calorie control, but it will also help wean you off sugar cravings.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,276 Member
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    Welcome! @Lietchi has wise words. One of the reasons to try their suggested method is that you see where you are making your caloric mistakes. It is eye opening to log everything without trying to cut back at all. It helps you learn and understand how you want to move forward. My only other advice is to trust the process. For me, as a mid-50s woman, I already know that if I need to lose 30 pounds, I'm not going to see the change in my body for weeks. Two months, maybe. So just do the work, don't look for results when you wake up every morning. Learn about your body (and that natural fluctuations are what bodies do, so no, you didn't put on 6 pounds in the night). I started logging here again after a few years of a slow gain (Covid shut downs, menopausal fatigue and lack of motivation, an international move with a new job), and I am finally feeling a little bit better in my clothes. I have a way to go, but I know that if I set a goal for a certain number of pounds each week, my loss is too slow to reflect that. So maybe consider that whatever you do is something you can do forever. That will give you the best long term results.

    I'm sorry that you're hear because of such a traumatic experience, but I hope you are proud of how far you have come and that you see yourself as worthy of better physical health too :heart: You can do this. Surely you've done much harder things.
  • pawsrbabies239
    pawsrbabies239 Posts: 15 Member
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    Welcome aboard! And first off, congratulations on step one, walking away from a very bad situation. By doing so, you have made a giant step toward a new you and show you are a strong young lady and can do this.

    Logging is so important! You will be surprised at what, when, how much you eat and what triggers you to eat. Once you see your eating patterns, it really helps towards the end goal. Review your log, see some little changes, no more soda, no more chips, no candy, less potatoes, etc…..start with small changes.

    Life is busy but our health is important, find some time, for menu / food prep for a week at a time, big help.

    You got this! And it will take time. Don’t always think in pounds, think in how you feel, how you look, one day, those jeans will feel not so tight and that is a good feeling better than the scale!
  • ch2pjjzmkk
    ch2pjjzmkk Posts: 1 Member
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    I’m new to this app, I have been logging for the past 20 days and I tell you, seeing the scale move up from one day to the next is heartbreaking but reading all this advice helped me not panic. I know I am on the right path.

    So I’m sharing what I learned the past three weeks about my body. As an Asian woman living in Britain, standard food here is higher in calories than what my body is used to growing up and that is why I gained 20kilos since I moved here 5yrs ago. I have now been consuming food similar to my diet back home which includes rice(white jasmine rice because it satisfies me more than fast reduction in weight) but healthier portion, more leafy greens and more fish. My progress in the weight department has been slow but my energy level spike feels like an overhaul.

    I have also been tracking my period and noticed the spike up leading to it and it made me panic less and I have been reading more about its impact to weight loss. I’m in my mid forties and it’s never too late to go on a journey for self improvement.

    Kudos to you for having the strength to leave a bad situation. You’ve overcome the worst, you have it in you to do what is necessary. I’m not aiming for a summer body, but I want to feel good about my dress for the new year.