When will I have more self control with food intake?
EveryDayisDay01
Posts: 11 Member
I record through MFP, over all I find it very helpful to see what I’m eating.
I’m doing a calorie deficit for the time being.
But I’ll suddenly get swarms of major urges to ingest food! It’s like a drug addict jonesing for their fix! I get tunnel vision to the food and I gotta have it!
I’ll still record it and see the numbers sore above my limit, then MFP tells me what I’ll weigh if I keep going that way.
The guilt hits me and I feel useless and like a failure. Is this part of the beginning of the this whole process to get better ? ❤️🩹
I’m doing a calorie deficit for the time being.
But I’ll suddenly get swarms of major urges to ingest food! It’s like a drug addict jonesing for their fix! I get tunnel vision to the food and I gotta have it!
I’ll still record it and see the numbers sore above my limit, then MFP tells me what I’ll weigh if I keep going that way.
The guilt hits me and I feel useless and like a failure. Is this part of the beginning of the this whole process to get better ? ❤️🩹
5
Answers
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Fitness220Gal wrote: »I record through MFP, over all I find it very helpful to see what I’m eating.
I’m doing a calorie deficit for the time being.
But I’ll suddenly get swarms of major urges to ingest food! It’s like a drug addict jonesing for their fix! I get tunnel vision to the food and I gotta have it!
I’ll still record it and see the numbers sore above my limit, then MFP tells me what I’ll weigh if I keep going that way.
The guilt hits me and I feel useless and like a failure. Is this part of the beginning of the this whole process to get better ? ❤️🩹
It will only get better when you decide to do better. You're not going to magically wake up one day and have no desire to binge and no guilt. You have to take actions for yourself to make that happen. Find other things that matter more to you than food, and spend time doing those. Eat regularly so you don't get too hungry. Eat protein rich foods. These are all things that MAY help. But in the end, you just have to decide to do it. When will that happen? When you get fed up with being overweight and just.... do it.
ETA: guilt is a tool and a useful thing. It lets you know you've gone off track from your goals. Without guilt, there would be no drive to change what you're doing.3 -
What kinds of food give you those urges?1
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FWIW, I disagree with Sollyn about guilt, though I agree with her about a lot of other things. I think guilt feels icky, doesn't burn any extra calories, and isn't helpful to me for moving forward. (It's more likely to make me feel stuck, not good enough, etc. Disempowering!)
As a reframing, I think of weight management more like a fun, productive science fair project for grown-ups. So, if I make a particular plan, and something doesn't work out, I need to analyze what happened, and revise my plans to make the process easier and more doable. When something goes wrong, I'm not a personal failure: I learned something about what doesn't work (useful!), and I can use that to adjust my plan, and move forward. Weight management is a long series of problem-solving opportunities.
Keep adjusting tactics, keep going, treat the occasional oops as a learning experience, adjust plans and keep going. I recommend thinking more about routine habits than rare exceptions. What I eat and how much I move most days is what will determine the majority of my weight, health and fitness outcomes. That one rare day when I over-eat birthday cake or work out for 5 hours is a drop in the ocean. It's the routine daily patterns that are the big deal.
You mention jonesing for certain foods. Are you trying to cut some foods out altogether? That may not be necessary. Most of us have some trigger foods that we can't keep around the house or we'll eat them all in one sitting, or close to that. But any food we can moderate, that we truly enjoy, to me it makes more sense to have some in reasonable amounts/frequencies so that cravings don't build up to overconsumption level. For me, even foods I can't moderate or keep in my house, I can choose to eat in the occasional intentionally-chosen single serving package, or at a restaurant.
To me, weight management comes from finding a daily life routine, a new set of eating and activity habits that is pleasant, practical, and affordable enough to keep up long term (almost on autopilot) to stay at a healthy weight. For most of us, that's not going to be some set of extreme, restrictive eating rules or a punitively intense, miserable exercise schedule. Misery is optional. Being over-fat is not a sin that has to be expiated via suffering. We just need to find a tolerable, calorie-appropriate set of habits that lead us to a healthy weight and keep us there.
The occasional over day isn't that big a deal. Don't beat yourself up, sez me. Revise your plan to make it more suitable for you, easier, more personalized. Keep going. Keep going. You'll get there.
Best wishes!
P.S. Personally, I find that I like to have the occasional very-indulgent treat or meal that won't fit in my calorie goal. Now that I'm in maintenance, I "calorie bank" - eat a very small amount (100-150 calories) under my estimated maintenance calories most days, in order to indulge occasionally. I keep an eye on the bodyweight scale as guardrails for that, and cut back if my weight is up more than I'd prefer. This has worked well for me. I'm in about year 8 of maintaining a healthy weight, after around 30 years previously of overweight/obesity.
While I was losing, I also sometimes ate over goal. I knew my maintenance calories (estimated from weight loss experience), so I knew that anytime I ate over goal but under maintenance, I was losing some body fat, just a little slower than I would've if I'd stayed within calorie goal. On the rare occasion, I ate over maintenance. I could estimate how long that would delay reaching goal weight. Sometimes reaching goal weight a few hours, or even a day or two later seemed like a reasonable tradeoff, subjectively. If it didn't, I went the "analyze and revise plan" route. If it did, I just went back to my calorie-deficit routine, no "make up for it", just keep going.
These things may not be the right tactics for everyone, but they've worked well for me.8 -
You sound like me. I’ve determined I’m addicted to sweets. I’ve gone 2 weeks now without eating any junk food and my calories have just adjusted down. I know everyone says “all things in moderation” but that hasn’t worked for me. Steering clear of junk entirely seems to be doing it.5
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Thanks @everyone for your insight and support 🌟4
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Fitness220Gal wrote: »I record through MFP, over all I find it very helpful to see what I’m eating.
I’m doing a calorie deficit for the time being.
But I’ll suddenly get swarms of major urges to ingest food! It’s like a drug addict jonesing for their fix! I get tunnel vision to the food and I gotta have it!
I’ll still record it and see the numbers sore above my limit, then MFP tells me what I’ll weigh if I keep going that way.
The guilt hits me and I feel useless and like a failure. Is this part of the beginning of the this whole process to get better ? ❤️🩹
I find that I struggle more with being obsessed with food when I'm beating myself up. That's usually when I start wanting high calorie and high carb food. Also, the more I tell myself I cannot have a specific food the more I want it. Since I figured that out I came up with some strategies. For foods that I have absolutely no self control over is not kept in the house in large quantities. I just buy the smallest amount of that food. then I consciously eat it slowly trying to savor that food. Therefore, I am controlling the Carbs and calories instead of mindlessly eating large quantities of that food. In addition, I'm not telling myself I cannot have it and I've satisfied my craving. Other times I try to find an acceptable substitution. Another thing, I do that helps I call calorie banking. By that l mean if I have decided I really want a certain food and that a small quantity or acceptable substitution is just not gonna cut it I preplan all of the next day's meal, snacks and drinks leaving unused calories so I can have what I want. 7 out of 10 times I decide the empty calories are not worth it and I can let it go. Where I go wrong is when I eat something and begin negative self talk and beating myself up.
I have to remind myself -
1. To celebrate all success no matter how small it may seem at the moment because a bunch of small success' add up to become a big success.
2. It's okay to stumble and fall along my journey. I just have to get back up and continue on.
3. Be kind to myself. If I wouldn't say it to someone else then I won't allow me to say it to myself.
4. Find alternatives to using food as a reward.
I wish you success on your weight releasing journey.
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Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You’d only been here less than 3 days when you posted this.
My heavens, don’t expect the heavens to open, angels sing, years of habits change, and weight to fall off in less than 72 hours.
Did you graduate in 3 days? Can you have a baby in 3 days? Learn a new job in 3 days? Bloody not likely, so give yourself some grace in the food arena.
Heck, it took me weeks just to learn to navigate MFP- and I still learn new things, often.
Be patient. Log faithfully, weigh anccurately, and record honestly. Review your data and learn from it.
I may feel like a numpty for eating that 1500+ calorie Milka “Maxxx” bar last Friday, but I did. And in a couple of months, if I go back to review data to see why I did or didn’t lose or maintain, it’ll be there as a simple data fact and reminder that, while I had a (very enjoyable) lapse one evening, ultimately it didn’t have any effect.
Look at your diary. Where are your calories “clustering”? Can you change something? Can you substitute a homemade sugar free coffee or frappe for that (heaven help us!) 500 calorie number you thoughtlessly got at Starbucks?
Could you substitute a leaner cut of meat? Margarine for butter? Dry sautee instead of using a lot of oil?
Thoughtlessness and downright ignorance were what made me obese. I used my food diary as a tool to overcome this.
Your diary is simply a tool, not a vehicle for guilt and self flagellation. If you use it as a tool, you’ll succeed. If you give in to the guilt, you won’t. Simple as that.
And make sure you’re not cutting your calories too low. Being in a hurry is the #1 reason people fail. I never ever felt hungry during the whole process, and I was the Queen of Bad Eating. Cutting too low drives binges. What’s the point of suffering and binging, suffering and binging? So what if it takes a few months longer?7 -
I am in the same place you are so I understand the overwhelming urges just to put stuff in your mouth and eat it whether you’re hungry or not. I would almost characterize mine quite often as uncontrollable. Just for full transparency I am on an anti-depressant that I’ve been taking for two years and that definitely has helped. I also take medication for ADHD (diagnosed as an adult and it has helped me understand my brain a bit better). However, t doesn’t really do much for the urges to eat. I’ve been using MyFitnessPal for a few years on and off and like probably most of you here sometimes I drop but I’ve been recording my food for the last week and feel really good about it. I’ve chosen to not buy what I would consider junk food; potato chips, candy things like that that are so easy to just grab and eat. What I’ve noticed is if I don’t eat a lot of sugar the urges are way more manageable (which makes sense) I appreciate what everyone else is saying as we all go through our own struggles but sometimes you’re just not in a place where you can “smile and feel better” so to speak. Rather than guilting yourself regularly, which I tend to do as well and it just makes me feel worse, be proud of yourself and your good choices! Record as much as you can but don’t beat yourself up if you miss recording for a meal, a day, etc. It shouldn’t feel like a punishment and again be proud of yourself! Try and get your steps in as much as you can and the more those times occur and the more you feel good about yourself when those things happen and more forgiving of yourself when they don’t it just gets a little easier I hope you have someone you can share all these things with in your personal life. I’m able to talk to my sister and my daughter as we struggle with the same things and
are really supportive of each other but again, I really just encourage you to be proud of yourself ,
on the days that you feel good enough try and resist
the addictive urges (like others have suggested) by doing something good for yourself. This is just what works for me. Hope it helps a little.
A.3 -
The cravings will pass.
Try to stay busy and if you have used up all your calories try to drink water or eat a bit of protein and go for a walk...
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You sound like me. I’ve determined I’m addicted to sweets. I’ve gone 2 weeks now without eating any junk food and my calories have just adjusted down. I know everyone says “all things in moderation” but that hasn’t worked for me. Steering clear of junk entirely seems to be doing it.
I am the same way, I have to avoid the sugar entirely which causes me to avoid the social situations where the sugar is. Makes me also want to avoid any social situation with food. I also suffer from free food is free of calories.
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What does your diet mainly consist of?0
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Fitness220Gal wrote: »
It’s like a drug addict jonesing for their fix! I get tunnel vision to the food and I gotta have it!
The guilt hits me and I feel useless and like a failure. ❤️🩹
It sounds like you want to break this cycle.
Self control is the power over your impulses. Right now, your impulses are in control of you. Deciding you want to break the cycle is already a step in the right direction.
Set your intention and remember your goals. When you have a craving for XYZ, decide that you are in control and your goal is more important than whatever fleeting - cheap pleasure which is going to make you feel defeated in the end anyway.
Break the cycle the very next time and see your goal through.
Think of self control as self love. What will your future self thank you for? Don’t feel bad, feel powerful - you have the power to set whatever course you want. See it though.5 -
ybhwjhmwk8 wrote: »You sound like me. I’ve determined I’m addicted to sweets. I’ve gone 2 weeks now without eating any junk food and my calories have just adjusted down. I know everyone says “all things in moderation” but that hasn’t worked for me. Steering clear of junk entirely seems to be doing it.
I am the same way, I have to avoid the sugar entirely which causes me to avoid the social situations where the sugar is. Makes me also want to avoid any social situation with food. I also suffer from free food is free of calories.
Ah. I bet you play bunco. I’ve tinkered with and fought bunco nights for the 1997 days I’ve been on MFP.
These are my “tips” for social situations, FWIW.
I save up calories on Bunco day, although if I push too hard I arrive hungry, so just like before grocery shopping, I make sure I eat something before I go.
What helps me (though it makes me unpopular with some hostesses!) I have a quart sized insulated Bubba cup. I make a giant iced decaf coffee with Jordan’s Skinny Syrup and sip on it all night. For some reason iced coffee is very filling and the sweetness is satisfying.
What seems to cheese some hostesses off is I make a giant cookpot of air-popped popcorn, add a couple tbsp margarine and some truffle salt and bring it with me. I don’t know why that upsets them so but I does not care anymore.
I permit myself to eat anything I want BUT it has to have a big handful of popcorn on top and I have to eat that first. That takes the edge off pretty quick.
I actually came home with calories in the bank last time. That was a definite win.
It makes me nuts because they know I count calories, it feels like they all watch and silently judge everything that goes on my mouth, and just as silently wonder “why hasn’t she put the weight back on?”
I swear at least one busts her *kitten* to make the highest calorie foods she possibly can and then stays on my butt all night “have you tried it? Have some. It won’t hurt. Oh, Come on.”
Outside of the food thing, which is probably mostly in my head anyway, they are truly lovely ladies. But man, feeling like their eyes go from my hand to my mouth……it’s unnerving. Half of them are on Ozempic now, too, lol.
I sooooo feel ya about sugary, snacky, tempting social situations.4 -
Let's address some stuff in the OP (sorry, late comer!)
-- sorry Solyn: I'm with Ann.
The data should motivate you to act. But when you get to COUNTER-productive reactions, they should be fought--not embraced.
I found myself giving too much weight to the reds and greens. As a rebel without a clue I deliberately set myself to a larger deficit target and proceeded to eliminate the association between green and red by always being in the red. I continue this in what is now, what is it, I think the 8+ year of maintenance. I still set a 500 Cal deficit. The first 250 is a given that I will go over. The next ~100 is Fitbit calories out inaccuracy. And that leaves about 150 to play with (maintenance does mean that when you have high days you do need the occasional low day and vv)
So guilt. I can't talk about everyone. But for me it is bad mojo in terms of finding balance and semi-enjoyable/acceptable ways to deal with weight management.
Back to the OP now.
There are many reasons why one may have an "uncontrollable urge to stuff face" with Calories.
-- you have the wrong deficit and your deficit is too large for your current situation
-- you have the correct deficit number but you still need time to adjust because you started from a position of weight gain or because of where you happen to be physically/mentally
-- you have not yet selected an appropriate combination of foods to eat. Eventually you will have to experiment to find a balance between foods that satiates you enough and foods that you enjoy enough. I can sneak in a candy bar or two (heck given that I still run on a TDEE of ~2900 maybe even three). But if I don't sneak in a good 750g of vegetables and fruits and a good 120+g of protein in there to balance out the assorted *kitten*... I will end up BOTH h-ANGRY and out of calories for the day.
Generally, most of us figure out at some point that it is harder to eat within our calories if all our food is high calorie high reward high convenience ultra processed food.
I still eat french fries (even do so at McD's) but I don't eat two large orders a day--THAT's for sure. I just had a pouch of Betty Crocker garlic mashed potatoes and almost 500g of (frozen) broccoli, cauliflower and carrots--whole thing was ready in 8 minutes starting from getting the bag out of the freezer. Just about 1135g of food down the gullet. And about 35 Cal more than an order of large french fries at McD's. (Actually the same Cal if you account for the ketchup--which you should) Did you notice the icky Betty Crocker Flakes? Yup. It's processed too--hence the difficulty in defining ultra processed because I sure think it was more filling and a better alternative than 370 Cal of nachos. But, how was it any less processed than nachos? I digress though!
Anyway. The combinations of foods. Or way of eating... those are for you to experiment with. And yes some methods have some advantages for many people. But not all people.
-- you have an underlying set of physical issues with food--insulin related issues for example. As you work on losing weight some of these issues may start to resolve but in the meanwhile they may be tripping you up.
I also note that when I was starting to lose I was not yet aware of when I was hungry and overdue to eat. I generally would start getting food ready way too late to be able to log according to my rule at the time of having to completely log everything I was going to eat before doing so. This ended up with me many times grabbing an apple or two and then postponing dinner to later by the time I had finished logging it (and the two apples). But the apples were one of the tricks I learned that I could use to blunt hunger and avoid over-eating.
-- you have an underlying set of mental issues around food that you haven't yet successfully managed to live with. I wonder why people hear me chewing when I'm stressed and on the phone... at least these days I avoid chewing on nachos. Or if I do, they are accounted for and fit. if I were smarter I would have had shares in a therapy clinic and I wouldn't only be the president but a client too (some older people may remember the hair club for men commercials...). MANY of us have to learn how to wrestle with setups that always seem to end up with us eating our emotions.
-- you have a known or unknown issue that rises to the level of an eating disorder. Some of these can be exacerbated (and some can even be directly precipitated) by a caloric deficits independently of anything else. You would have to proceed with extreme caution and getting outside medical advice would be far and away the smartest thing for you to do. Please note that this is here for completeness as the original post doesn't fully describe what has been taking place--yet the description does not exclude the possibility that this may be a potential concern.
Well. sorry for the long post... and I do wish you the best in moving forward!3 -
@PAV8888 what a great post. MFP gold there!
May I please add:
Lack of Education: for those of us who attended school in the 70’s - and probably for years after that- our only education about nutrition was maybe a ten minute film reel about the food pyramid during a bi-weekly or monthly “health” class, screened by teachers who were teaching all subjects, including math, history, science, reading. They didn’t have time to learn up and teach kids nutrition it was way low in the totem pole.
So as a result, what I “knew” about nutrition came from screaming headlines at the checkout counter, or maybe tiny ads for quick weight loss pills in the back of magazines.
Many of us have no concept of good versus bad foods because of lack of education. Even now, what “education” I have comes from posters here, and sometimes the arguments are overwhelming and I (honestly) shut down and tune out.
A friend is always harping on and on about this is bad, that’s bad, this chemical is going to kill me, or that ones been proven bad.
The noise in our heads can be deafening, even when we have done comparatively well.
So I get where she’s coming from with guilt. I’m thinking less guilt, and more likely confusion and frustration.
I have a wonderful (and sometimes confusing and frustrating) yoga teacher who tells us to feel it, acknowledge it, and let it go.
He’s referring to pain or stress in the body, but good words for guilt, too.
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So much good info Pav. And so true Springerling. I knew nothing about nutrition.
What really surprises me is how little some nutritionists and dieticians seem to know.2 -
Thank you for the nice words you two.
Last night when I was writing my previous post I *was* tired and got myself twisted in a loop with the old processed food arguments we used to have on the boards. And because of the time I didn't re-read my answer within the hour!
I had to run into @kshama2001 's answer to the OP's same question in "Health and Weight Loss" to realize that I was just circling around the world "hyperpalatable" -- it just wasn't popping to mind due to advanced age no doubt
Pretty much all of us are keyed to "hyperpalatable" foods... that attraction and pull is their DEFINITION.
Team A can handle hyperpalatable stuff. They eat awesome tasting stuff till they have taken in enough calories and then... lose interest. And Stop. What kind of magic is that? I'm not a Team A person!
I am also not sure that there is an abundance of Team A members logging on MFP! That's it for Team A!
Team B can "handle" hyperplatable stuff. They build processes, tricks, rules, fences, boundaries, organize a rearguard, create plans, and then practiced escaping from the hyperpalatable black hole during weight loss!
Sounds like a lot of work (but it isn't really because you DO have time to deal with stuff if you are losing weight at a moderate pace). And, in the end, if you build your brick house patiently, persistently, and ultimately well enough, the hyperpalatable wolf will huff and puff, but the brick house will stand--more times than not -- or at least sufficiently to be able to successfully manage your weight!
Team C realizes they cannot or do not want to either handle or "handle" the hyperpalatable stuff. C.1. swears that they will never touch it again. C.2. tries to find ways of eating that exclude it.
C team people sometimes succeed in keeping to their chosen options long term. Sometimes they fail to do so, but do adapt and keep going. Or, the majority, fail to continue long term (5+ years) AND also do not manage to adapt.
Frankly the same applies to the B team people (the 5+ year stuff) Except that, by definition, a process of building and rebuilding "defenses", i.e. active management, assumes that one continues to tinker with and build incremental habits while engaging in some self reflection. And, I think, ultimately, such a process ends up with a custom suit that may better fit a particular individual.
I don't dis team C.x. The options are powerful and give immediate results. If the methods suits the people. And if they manage to keep to it.
But I think that too many of the people who choose C assume that the magic is in the C process itself instead of giving themselves the power to recognize that the power is in THEM in that they have selected and chosen to manage themselves via the C process.
And that if it no longer suits them they still have the power to choose a different method instead of assuming that the magic is gone (or too difficult, or no longer worth it) and they might as well give up.
Basically I "feelZ" that team "B" ends up creating more of a custom fit than C. But that's what it is. A "feelZ". Colored by what I've seen with others around me and what I know about myself.
So now we come to pizza!
I used to eat a large pizza and a 2L pop when I was in my 20's (even 30's). In fact in my 20's I would even order two at a time so that I would have some for the "next day".
I now do one, two or three, at the most, SLICES. If I am eating three slices chances are extremely high that it will be in the context of a maintenance or overage day. Remember that my average TDEE over the past 9+ years has been between 2900 and 2950. That's there for context. The rest is simple arithmetic.
In the context of weight loss you WILL have to evaluate WHAT is "worth" it and what isn't "worth" it to you. That's where logging and review come in. And you will have to come up with HOW you are going to fit it in your day. Or abstain from having it at all.
As is obvious I am on the Team B, fit it in camp, if it is worthwhile enough to you.
Just like @kshama2001 if my "meal" is pizza I will usually eat it with a low calorie salad or fresh veggies. Heck I used to surround pizza slices with cherry tomatoes and carrots! OR I will be treating the pizza as a snack to keep me going and I will have my remaining meals structured so as to provide the lower calorie "filler" This is more what I tend to do these days.
I do try to avoid dinners where two of us will split a pizza by ordering something individual that is NOT a personal pizza. If "forced" into it (f.e. restaurant) I tend to load up on diet pop BEFORE and during the meal, try to eat slowly, and realize that it will be a maintenance/overage day. One option would be to immediately ask for a take out box and put a slice or two in it before you start eating.
But the above (fitting a pizza in your day) is a very different scenario from the one where "I've just left the hospital after visiting my xyz friend or relative and on the way back home at 1:00 am I go into the dougnut place, order a 24 pack, and then proceed to stuff my face with everything in the tray while driving the rest of the way back home! THAT is not caused because the food is hyperpalatable, or processed, or has sugars, fats, or protein! 0 -
Hey @Fitness220Gal Way to go with consistently tracking your food! I've usually found that urges & cravings come from our body's need for nutrients rather than food in general. Sometimes when we are eating in a calorie deficit we may not be nourishing our body appropriately.
Things like not getting sufficient high quality protein, fruits, veggies and even fats can lead the body to create intense urges for food. Maybe start reviewing the quality of your food as well as if you are getting sufficient amounts of protein, carbs & fat. It's not hard to eat 2000 calories of fat & carbs thats for sure.
Hope this helps.1 -
@PAV8888 Interesting team descriptions...
my thoughts on op question, teams and whatnots...
Perhaps, with practice can change teams.
Perhaps unrealistc to expect one to go from team c or x to team a or even team b by deciding to when the person is suffering overwhelming urges and often unable to resist.
On a broader look across many MFP discussions -- telling team c or x just to be in team a... or b... and/or minimizing/dis-missing the struggle can shut down authentic requests/discussions, recognition of real, significant problems... It comes across this way too often... when this should be a place to talk about these things...
For this discussion, a lot of ideas and encouragement has been shared.
In the process of change, we goof up, try more. Set aside the guilt, but assess... what hapoened, why, what can i try next time?
Think of an athlete learning something new like how to dive into a pool. First the beginning skills, get in water, hold breath, kick, swim, jump in... a coach suggests trying something, assesses what happened, suggests an adjustment or next step to try, and athlete tries/practices it.
The cycle repeats. It is good to recognize it might be super hard or feel impossible... And, to set aside feelings of guilt or failure. When we practice, change, it is normal to goof up. Just need to try again and keep trying and through this process, we make progress, improve, learn new skills.
How we deal with food and changing what we do can be a lot like that... worth it to keep at it 1 -
Adventurista wrote: »@PAV8888 Interesting team descriptions...
my thoughts on op question, teams and whatnots...
Perhaps, with practice can change teams.
Perhaps unrealistc to expect one to go from team c or x to team a or even team b by deciding to when the person is suffering overwhelming urges and often unable to resist.
On a broader look across many MFP discussions -- telling team c or x just to be in team a... or b... and/or minimizing/dis-missing the struggle can shut down authentic requests/discussions, recognition of real, significant problems... It comes across this way too often... when this should be a place to talk about these things...
For this discussion, a lot of ideas and encouragement has been shared.
In the process of change, we goof up, try more. Set aside the guilt, but assess... what hapoened, why, what can i try next time?
Think of an athlete learning something new like how to dive into a pool. First the beginning skills, get in water, hold breath, kick, swim, jump in... a coach suggests trying something, assesses what happened, suggests an adjustment or next step to try, and athlete tries/practices it.
The cycle repeats. It is good to recognize it might be super hard or feel impossible... And, to set aside feelings of guilt or failure. When we practice, change, it is normal to goof up. Just need to try again and keep trying and through this process, we make progress, improve, learn new skills.
How we deal with food and changing what we do can be a lot like that... worth it to keep at it
That's a great way of putting it. I love it.
Not having found the right personal plan yet is not a failure. Giving up working on it is the only way to fail. Even then, it's the plan that failed: The person is not a failure.
P.S. to @PAV8888 - I think there are more teams than that, but this isn't the place to talk about it. 1
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