Maintaining is Scary

I'm 5'2" and female. I started at 215. April 7th will be my one year anniversary. I have lost 87lbs. My goal was 129 and I'm 125-128 (it varies a lot day to day). So I beat my goal. I am trying now to transition into maintenance. But it's terrifying. I'm scared to weight more as I'm trying to figure out my new calories, but most of all I'm scared to not be allowed to loose weight anymore. I'm scared to not have a goal any more. I'm scared to not have anything to work toward. Has anyone else felt this way? I've always thought that when I got this far I'd feel elated, but I don't. All I want to do is set my goal lower so I can keep going down and keep having a goal in life. But that's not healthy for me. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who knows they do better with a life goal.

Replies

  • xbowhunter
    xbowhunter Posts: 1,268 Member
    Congratulations! that's an incredible loss. :)

    Maintenance for me is super easy. I just adjusted my calories to maintenance and kept and a close eye on the scale and adjust as needed.

  • tiffanyleilarsen
    tiffanyleilarsen Posts: 44 Member
    Your post sounds exactly like one I posted.

    I’ve been in maintenance nearly four years now.

    You’ll be fine. Continue logging and tracking. I’ll never “not” do that because I know how easily I would regain if I quit. I don’t mind, though. The habits are there, and I like to keep tabs on protein anyway.

    One word of experience from myself, though. I’ve continued (even increased) exercise and movement in maintenance. My weight has gone up. At first it freaked me out but then I realized I was wearing the same clothes as my lowest weight. What was increasing was muscle, and muscle weighs more than fat.

    Best way I can explain it is, body seemed to turn its focus inward, towards reshuffling and improving my parts, one at a time. It’s still happening, this far into maintenance. Right now it’s my thighs. They’ve suddenly thinned out and have visible muscle delineation.

    Still waiting for the tummy ring of extra skin, though. That’s why God gave us humans Lycra. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Best advice I ever got on MFP was treat maintenance like you’ve still got five pounds to lose.

    Do that and you’ll be golden. I can have a massive splurge one night, or eat during a trip, return to plan and be just fine.

    You e learned great habits. Just keep implementing them, and crack down if your weight truly creeps up. I don’t ever want to be one of the “back again after I lost and regained 100” crowd.

    Thank you, this makes it less scary.

  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,515 Member
    mtaratoot wrote: »
    Also, don't feel like a failure if your scale goes up. It will. Then down. Then up and down and down and up. Maintenance, some say, is gaining and losing the same five or so pounds over and over and over. So worry not - you still get to lose! You'll just have times you gain too. It's hard to get used to, but if you stick to it, you can do it. If you quit... Then you know what will happen.

    Truth
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,369 Member
    edited April 5
    Oops, replied on wrong thread. Sorry!
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  • rhondaschmidt4
    rhondaschmidt4 Posts: 1 Member
    I am 5-3 and was 212 back in September I am almost to 90 pounds down now. I will be starting maintenance soon and totally agree with your post!! Reading it made me think you were reading my mind. I have worked so hard to get to this point, I am scared too!! Can I do this??? Can I pass the biggest test of all??? actually keeping the weight off?? I am almost paranoid about it and I still have 3 pounds to go. I track everything that goes in my mouth, can I intentionally increase calories at this point??
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,369 Member
    I am 5-3 and was 212 back in September I am almost to 90 pounds down now. I will be starting maintenance soon and totally agree with your post!! Reading it made me think you were reading my mind. I have worked so hard to get to this point, I am scared too!! Can I do this??? Can I pass the biggest test of all??? actually keeping the weight off?? I am almost paranoid about it and I still have 3 pounds to go. I track everything that goes in my mouth, can I intentionally increase calories at this point??

    @rhondaschmidt4, if it's super scary, maybe consider increasing calories a bit at a time, when ready? Depending on how fast you've been losing recently, maybe 100-200 daily calories, then wait a week or two or so and see what happens on the scale?

    You may see a bit of a water-retention/digestive-contents bump up on the scale at first (especially with a bigger add at a time), but waiting and watching for a while (multi-weeks) will tell you whether you're stable or not at that point.

    You can do this!
  • devrinator
    devrinator Posts: 79 Member
    I didn't make it. I lost all my weight and kept most off or just under a year then crept back up.

    This time, I plan to remember something I read about Mister Rogers. He was reported to weigh the same throughout his life. Same weight. He weighed himself every week. We do fluctuate with water weight, hormonoes, etc, but I found that intriguing. It's an interesting goal.

    You're not alone in enjoying the goal--to see the progress. It's also like dangling from a cliff when you get to your goal weight--trying to navigate where to stay without gaining more weight or actually losing more than you intend. I think the challenge is that most people don't understand that obesity is a symptom of having an off-kilter satiation meter. You can't just eat healthy foods to feel satisfied, because when you do, you may have eaten a few too many calories. So you do have to keep it in check.

    I don't have the answer, but there's something to keeping track of a weight that doesn't fluctuate. New goal may simply be not to see an increase in weight and having that gold star each month for not having gained back a couple of pounds, because that's what typically happens!
  • devrinator
    devrinator Posts: 79 Member
    mtaratoot wrote: »
    Fred Rogers' weight was also a very specific number that he had an attachment to. It's likely he also fluctuated but was close enough to call it good. He swam daily. They didn't have digital scales, so "close enough" was probably a routine thing for non-certified scales.

    His weight was related to three words.

    The first word had one letter.
    The second word had four letters.
    The third word had three letters.
    I Love You.
    One - Four - Three.
    143 pounds made him smile every time he got on the scale.

    Awe! That's super cute, endearing and somewhat weird. I love that.
  • Rockymountainliving
    Rockymountainliving Posts: 27 Member

    I lost 36 pounds over 18 months and kept it off for 9 months. I have been fighting rising LDL cholesterol due to Familial hypercholesterolemia and finally had to go on Statins. When that happened, I got really really hungry. I didn't realize this was a side effect, but for me it was. At 5' 4" and 137, the 1450 maintenance calories weren't enough. So I ate, still tracked the 2000-2500 calories and avoided the scale. I gained 15 pounds in 3 months. However, my face looks a LOT better and my body looks better too. My maintenance calories are 1650 and 2000 if I go for a hike. I have more food in my belly so I get up less at night to go pee. Yay! I'm going to sit at this weight a while and contemplate if I want to get lower.
  • jubrown3
    jubrown3 Posts: 3 Member
    It was helpful to read of your fears, not that I wish them on you. I appreciate your reaching out to the community & sharing. When I reached goal, I was just as worried about gaining even a little back. I didn’t realize I would feel this way, hoping to just be happy and relax finally. It’s hard to relax though.
    At first I gave myself 1500 calories a day, but I popped up 2 pounds easily. I got very anxious, not wanting to see eight months of hard work disappear. My calorie count is 1200 every day now & I still track religiously. It’s too easy to eat unwanted calories if I don’t track. Walking and getting outside everyday is a steady goal. Luckily I love to swim, but again I have to be mindful to make time. I’m accepting that this has to be a main vigilant focus for the rest of my life.
  • rubym42
    rubym42 Posts: 1 Member
    edited June 24
    @tiffanyleilarsen Thank you for being open about your fear - we definitely start with our focus on losing the weight but once that’s done the fear of going back is real. I’ve lost 42 pounds and I just need 4 more pounds til goal - as I see myself reaching my goal the fear of going back is definitely real.

    Thank you all for the tips - I will add these to my toolbox as I begin the maintenance journey in a few weeks - so proud of everyone here and your commitment to a healthy you.