How to set myself up for the long term?

krystlpierce

Hi all!! I've been part of MFP for more than 10 years off and on. I've always struggled with my weight. I'm currently at my highest non-pregnancy weight again- 238. I hit this weight about a year before I became pregnant, and I've hit it again 2 1/2 years after my little was born.

I've been a yo-yo when it comes to losing weight, and I've lost weight various ways (diet, exercise, medical assistance.. ). There are times that I've done really well, but then I fall off and gain weight back very quickly and then more. I've been over 200 for the past 8+ years and I'm tired of it. It's affecting my mood, my self worth, my relationship with my husband.. and I'm worried how it's going to affect being a good mom and I've finally drawn the line. I need to do this, and I need to make this a permanent change. I need to lose about 90-100 lbs to reach my happy weight.

While I was prepping and getting set up to start going to the gym, I really started thinking about my past journeys and why I keep falling off. I think I just became too obsessive about it. I would track calories like crazy, I'd weigh and measure everything. I'd wear a Polar heartrate monitor while I worked out to track how many calories I was burning.. I have a notebook where I write down all of my measurements, and there were months where I would weigh myself and take measurements twice a week.. That just seems excessive.

I was kind of thinking that I'll do a soft start- just go to the gym, start working out, get my body used to being more active again. Watch what I'm eating, and watch my portions. I don't think I want to count calories. My goal here is to lose the weight, maintain and be healthy, not lose 40 pounds for summer. I don't care if it takes me 2 years to lose this weight. My goal is to make this sustainable. I don't want to lose a bunch of weight quickly, get burned out and just fall off again. Going to the gym has always felt like a chore to me, but I can't do this on diet alone, so I need to figure out how to change my mindset on working out. I'm kind of a home body, so trying to do things from home, or going outside doesn't really work for me. I have to have my workout time at the gym.

So this is my question: What are some things that you guys have done to get out of the "lose weight fast" mindset, and more to lifestyle changes and just generally being healthy? I know I've kind of answered my question in a way, so I guess I'm just asking what has worked for others? How have you made it more long term or permanent? How do you get through your plateaus? How do you stay motivated?

PAV8888

Lose weight fast is not your only issue by your own musings

I'm in no way saying that you need to go to the gym or move more to lose weight. That's something you said. Not me.

Yes, I feel the same way for me (that it was very helpful). But, again, that's a me thing and not universal.

That said you're identifying a long term problem: I want/need to move more but i don't want to. It is hard to make things you don't actually want... work for you

You need to come up with incremental solutions and with consideration make choices as to what is more important to you as you explore and morph over time.

What interests and hobbies you have today do not have to be the limit of your interests forever.

I have an MFP friend who uses a manual mower and fights with her neighbor as to whether she will get to shovel snow by hand or he will get there first and use his snow blower to rob her of the exercise 🤷‍♂️

boggles my mind, but I pay more for milk so I can hand carry the jug up the hill instead of driving it from Walmart 🤷‍♂️

Point is, if you're looking at making long term changes, take most sacred cows off the sacred cow list and consider whether which habits are more and which habits are less conducive to maintaining your weight loss.

And ease into changes..

I do get the excess deficit and exercise thing. It is a common issue. And that's where logging helps with creating a reasonable deficit if that is where you draw the line m

For the record I disagree that weight sampling twice a week is excessive.

Maybe for measurements which change even slower and are potentially more prone to measurement errors even once a... month is of limit information value.

But weight? Easiest thing for me is to make it routine and plug the numbers into a weigh trend app so you can track the longer term trend!

Take care... and explore with wonderment what you can add to your life instead of being sad you're making changes 😉

jan110144

I am there with you. I have been successful with weight loss (often and impressively at times). Yet, here I am bavk at MFP once again. This time I am totally committed to stop this nearly lifetime worth if yoyo-ing and to the work to figure out how to do it. Only two things I have figured out for sure do far ...

1. It is a learning process. I know pretty much everything I need to know about dieting, healthy food, exercise, emotional eating, etc. I clearly don't know what I need to know to put that knowledge ro work for long-term change.
2. It is going to take some time ... clearly no quick fix.

So ... I have said goob-bye to dieting and hello to living and eating in a healthy way.

If you are interested in joining me, I would love the company.

PAV8888

krystlpierce wrote: »

What are some things that you guys have done to get out of the "lose weight fast" mindset, and more to lifestyle changes and just generally being healthy? I know I've kind of answered my question in a way, so I guess I'm just asking what has worked for others? How have you made it more long term or permanent? How do you get through your plateaus? How do you stay motivated?

Much to tackle today--but for some reason coming back!

At 48 came to the realization that I was ALREADY limiting my life to compensate for my obesity. If at 48 I am already choosing NOT to do this that or the other... what will happen when I am 65?

So on one hand you need to create a deficit.

On the other hand you also need to slowly start structuring your life towards the life of a person whose day promotes the maintenance of that lower weight.

There is no motivation. If you are needing motivation to keep going you are pushing yourself instead of finding ways to restructure into a new permanence.

Sure. Short term you may need an occasional bout of motivation to head out for a dog walk at midnight (well the dog demanding a walk is motivation too!) But your goal should be to avoid needing to be motivated so to speak.

Don't seek to penalize yourself--aka "I am not allowed to eat". Seek to find new rewards instead... hmmm greek yogurt with fruit tastes good and for the calories in a slice of apple pie I can have a 750g container with 200g of cinnamon dusted apple sweetened with liquid sucralose cut up inside it!

Ok both my pies and containers are large what can I say

Anyway. that's some ideas for you to consider!

LakeLau79

Exactly what you said!!! Ease into it, do a soft start! You will want to focus on one or two things at a time, until they are habit. Then add something else. Not being so struck will help but to feel natural … which I believe is a lifestyle!!

Feel free to add me as I’m trying to start building my community!!

lisakatz2

PAV8888 wrote: »

There is no motivation. If you are needing motivation to keep going you are pushing yourself instead of finding ways to restructure into a new permanence.

This is one of the most insightful things I've ever read here.

FibroHiker

I have been up and down on the scale over the past few years myself. For me the trigger moment came a couple years ago when my mobility became challenged and I was dealing with chronic pain. I wanted to be healthy and mobile long term, not just lose excess weight. I began tackling problems one at a time. First, with seeing the chiropractor regularly and making sure I stretch daily. Once that was done I became a little more active with walking a few times a week. Then I saw a specialist for my GI difficulties, was put on a special diet, and began focusing on meeting nutrition goals each day. After that I gradually lowered my daily calorie intake from 2200 to 1800 to now 1650. I have recently started weight training again and so far everything is still going well.

Feeling better with my health being better helps immensely to keep going and do my goals. Changing one thing at a time and making it a habit before tackling another thing also helped me to be successful because I wasn't trying to do everything at once.

1NatashaTMT

Hi Krystal!

Your story is literally mine! It’s hard for me not to do things obsessively as I’m OCD. No matter what I do I do it excessively. I’ve tried one fad diet after another over the years. Sure I’d lose but would always gain it back and then some. About 6 weeks ago I stepped on the scales and was shocked to see 185 and I’m short. So if I were taller, the ratio would likely be about your weight.

I joined a gym and talked to their in house personal trainer. She set me up on a 5 day workout doing strength exercises. I focus on cardio on the weekend and also walk my pups at least one long walk daily, 45 mins +. I planned on keeping this up for 4 weeks before adding my next phase and I did it.

My phase 2 was integrating a healthy lifestyle diet which is sustainable for life. For the first time ever I’m doing what I call clean eating as much as possible. No refined grains, fresh fruit & veggies, mostly lean meats such as fish, seafood and chicken, limiting red meats and pork. Only healthy natural carbs. Bread is okay in moderation as long as it’s unrefined grains. No sugary beverages at all and drinking lots of water. Also limiting dairy which is a hard one for me because I LOVE cheeses! I just finished week 2 of this yesterday. It’s been cleared with a dietician as a healthy lifestyle diet.
I’m not saying this is what you have to eat but this is working for me. Because I wasn’t eating healthy I lost 5 lbs the first week and 2 lbs the second week. It might slow more and I’m okay with that because I’m already beginning to feel better and have more energy. ALSO, the scales are MUCH less important to me than looking and feeling better and healthier! We have to remember the scales aren’t a great report when you’re working out and gaining muscle mass.
I’d suggest routine & planning and holding yourself accountable. For example, tomorrow never comes and it’s not “only” 1 cookie, etc. Once you commit to a start date, a certain routine, diet and next phase start dates be sure to stick to them. I do think you’re onto something with the soft start. If we try to make too many changes at once we’re setting ourself up for failure.
Some people don’t know you can often see a dietitian under your medical insurance. So if that’s an area you’d like help with I’d look into that.
Whatever you decide make sure you’re not doing it for anyone but YOU! We often make changes for others, making it hard to stick with them. You are worth it and you deserve it! It’s a daily decision and once you’re ready… you’ve got this!

Edit: I forgot to mention to set smaller weight goals rather than ALL the weight you want to lose at once and celebrate when you hit them because that’s awesome! My first goal is 20 lbs 🙂

ecaknapp67

Something that has helped me (and that I've been trying to be better at!) is journaling. Doesn't have to be really long or drawn out, but just noting what food makes me feel good and what makes me feel bad later on. For instance, I know when I eat a piece of cake that someone brought to the office I usually end up regretting it, having to sit at my desk with a stomach ache for the rest of the day...not fun! Or noting when I want to stress eat, noting the emotions behind it and trying to address the underlying issue instead of falling into my habit of reaching for a comforting snack (usually not a healthy one...) and either choosing a different method of calming myself, like going for a walk or listening to music, or at least reaching for a healthy snack that won't totally derail my health goal, like fruit. This is just one tool and obviously it will be a learning process, but I've learned that you can't break "bad" habits until you fully realize what they are, and where they come from! Good luck!

Rockymountainliving

If you don't like the gym, and do not continue the gym after losing weight because you don't like it, then don't do that. Pick a calorie burning exercise you like. I just walk and garden. Sometimes I cycle. Sometimes I play pickleball. I lost 35 pounds over 18 months just reducing calories and doing the above.

krystlpierce

Thanks for all your responses! I have some things to think about.