I failed

I fell off the wagon the past 2 days after a good week of trying to be better.

Replies

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,629 Member
    A very smart person here (not me ;):D ) once said "there is no wagon, so we can't fall off".

    If you ask me, all there is is life, and life is made up of time. We use those days to work towards our goals - fully or even just partly - or we don't. We don't have to be precisely perfect every single minute of every single day in order to succeed. All we have to do is be pretty good on average the majority of the time. That'll be enough.

    If you have been here for a week, like 7 days, and 2 of them were sub-ideal, that's not a terrible batting average, for a start. Keep going. Only giving up altogether fails.

    If something doesn't work as expected, IMO that's a trigger to think about how to make the plan more realistic, i.e., easier to stick with long enough to lose a meaningful total amount of weight, or gain a reasonable amount of fitness, or make some progress on whatever goals you have.

    I'm going to assume that weight loss is your goal, because that's common here. But the same general thought process applies to fitness, nutrition, reducing intake of things that harm us, whatever.

    If you ate past your calorie goal, why did that happen? Hunger? Boredom? Social context? Deprivation-triggered over-eating? Unsustainably low calorie goal, shooting for ultra-fast weight loss? Eating to soothe emotions? Stress eating? Putting tasty foods off limits that you could eat in calorie appropriate portions instead? Something else? Be real with yourself, inside your own head.

    Whatever the cause, give a little thought to how a similar situation could be accommodated more constructively next time, and adjust your plan accordingly.

    If it was deprivation-triggered overeating or shooting for ultra-fast loss, consider increasing your calorie goal (slowing down pace of weight loss). Sometimes a slow weight loss rate will get us to goal weight in less calendar time than "fast" loss that triggers bouts of overeating, breaks in the action, or even giving up altogether. IMO, the stretch goal is finding new long-term habits - routine ways of eating and moving - that gradually lead us to goal weight then keep us there long term, ideally forever.

    I don't know about you, but I can't rely on white-knuckled willpower, motivation or discipline forever. That's just not realistic for me. But I (seemingly) can find reasonably sustainable, reasonably easy/practical new habits. (I think that's true because I'm now in year 8 of healthy weight, after around 30 years before of being overweight/obese. I'm not special.)

    If it was boredom or stress or emotional triggers, think of some different ways to handle the same scenario next time it arises. Pick a new plan for those circumstances. Review it vividly in your head a few times, like a mini-movie, so it sticks. Then put the situation behind you until a similar situation arises. Try your new plan. Did it work? Great! If not, repeat the thought process. Don't give up, and eventually you'll find solutions that work FOR YOU.

    You can ask questions here and get ideas to try. But no one else can give you The Solution, because there's no one route that works for everyone. You (and only you) can find the route that fits your individual preferences, strengths, challenges and lifestyle. Be willing to experiment, have something not work, and learn from that.

    A slip-up isn't a failure. It's an opportunity to learn, a chance to cross an unworkable tactic off the list, and try another one. That's a path to success.

    If a hedonistic aging hippie flake like me can do this, I think pretty much anyone can. Just don't give up. Keep experimenting, keep adjusting, keep learning. Success is out there. And it'll be worth the effort.

    Best wishes: I'm cheering for you!
  • Hobartlemagne
    Hobartlemagne Posts: 603 Member
    The wagon will ALWAYS let you back on. Your mistakes are in the past.
    Leave any guilt behind you and try again. It's worth it. YOU are worth it!
  • pridesabtch
    pridesabtch Posts: 2,480 Member
    Fail is a very harsh word. Things didn't go according to plan, but today is a new day with new opportunities. Focus on the good parts of the week and try to recapture that. Let go of the guilt over the bad days. They are a blip. Give yourself grace!
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,888 Member
    It's not failure, it's a learning experience - you didn't fall off the wagon, you just took a bit of a detour :wink: