How do you deal with triggers?

eugguedel

I am sure that my family loves me.
I am also doing my best. Excercising daily (or almost), hitting my steps, eating healthty and in a deficit and counting my calories.
Of course sometimes i slip, as we all do.
But how to deal with *kitten* comments? My mom, for instance, told me that i looked great 4 years ago (when i was sick and hospitalized).
How do you take this kind of comments without feeling horrible and wanting to just go eat a whole bucket of fried chicken?

gunnsgirl91303

Eugguedel, my mom used to say things like that. She would tell me I'd be pretty if I lost weight. I'm sorry that your mom isn't as supportive as she could be.

My triggers to overeat are boredom and laziness. Sometimes I eat because I'm bored and sometimes I eat what is convenient rather than take the time to cook up or fix a nutritious meal or snack.

I also exercise most days and eat healthy most of the time. I do keto, but some days I go over my daily allowance of carbs, but mostly because I overindulge in either veggies or berries. Hard to stay away from blueberries, lol. Soon the blackberries will be here and I'm really in trouble. I have successfully kicked the sugar habit, except for the sugars that occur naturally in veggies and fruit.

AnnPT77

I'm pretty old (not saying I'm wise , far from it - just experienced).

Somewhere along the line, it mostly sunk in for me that other people's nonsense is their nonsense . . . until I make it my own. *I* control my reactions ( . . . though it's not always easy).

Doing something in reaction to someone else's opinion/comment is equivalent to letting them tell me what to do. I have a choice. If I choose to react, I need to own that, and all its consequences.

A concept I try to live by is one that - bizarrely enough - I first heard in a management training class. It's that when something happens that I don't like, the first thing I should do is ask myself what I did to create, promote or allow that thing to happen. The point is not self-blame. The point is that that tells me where I have control (or at least influence) to change the situation for the future.

When the "something that happens" is me over-eating . . . well, I have pretty much 100% total control over what I pick up, put in my mouth, chew and swallow. Recognizing that viscerally is the heart of accountability, for me.

For me, it's really a decision about whether I really mean it when I say I want to accomplish my goals . . . or not. If I behave counter to my goals, I've decided my goals are less important than something else. Action says more than intentions.

Just my opinions/experience, as always.

P.S. I think it's possible to love and value our family members or other people close to us, even while realizing that they can be a toxic influence in some ways. Deciding what to do about that toxicity - other than controlling my own reactions to it - is a whole other discussion.