When to offer support

Corina1143

On "support " threads?
On other threads?

AnnPT77

I may be off base, but I think when I or anyone else posts on social media (including here in the MFP Community), that amounts to starting a conversation, and I expect others will chime in with whatever response they want to type, which may include advice.

I generally wouldn't give advice on a thread where someone said "don't give me advice" or similar . . . but might even then if I thought they were doing something truly unreasonably risky, TBH, or even misleading others factually.

On top of that, I've seen threads where someone replies with something that seems to me like just a comment, maybe "that didn't work for me", or "here's what I do", and the OP interprets that as inappropriate or even pushy advice, when I'm not certain advice (vs. chatting) was what was intended. Communication always has two parts, sender and receiver. What I think I'm sending may not be what the other person receives, either because I expressed myself poorly, or because something about it led them to interpret it through a different filter.

When the picture in my head is channeled through my words and seems to create a similar picture in the other person's head, I think we've succeeded in communicating . . . but I only completely control one side of that, and don't always perform ideally at that.

I do try to give other people of the benefit of the doubt, i.e., start from the assumption that they mean well, want to help. That helps me stay calm and reasonably happy, even if that interpretation is wrong in some cases. It can go far enough sometimes, though, that I decide they aren't well-intended, of course. That's pretty much how I personally look at the "receiver" side of communication.

Even then, I try to stay high road, including on social media. I figure that I create my reputation with others by what I write or say. It may end up being good or bad, but I can't completely control that, either. And different people want different things from me or others, anyway, including in ways they don't make explicit. Can't read minds!