How to try to eat healthy?

PAV8888

Well. To me the OP sounds like, right now, he is basically living to eat.

Part of the discovery process is finding a way to eat to live most of the time. And living to eat only a fraction of the time

@neanderthin my comment to you was not specifically re keto or carnivore or alternative way of eating as compared to what the op prefers.

To me it sounds that there may exist a number of reasons additional to just eating food that make the op want to go out to eat at restaurants.

Hence my suggestion for someone that they can talk things through with. Because yes, if the reason they're going to the restaurant is not just food, then they will still want to go there regardless of how good or bad any of the "other' food they eat is and regardless of whether they're even objectively hungry

Of course if alcohol is still in the picture that takes care of many/most of the calories all by itself depending on the quantity of alcohol. And may be the lowest hanging fruit. Or the hardest to tackle. Might as well try and find out which one it is (the sticking point or the low hanging fruit)

Food for the OP right now sounds like ritual, social, relaxation, entertainment, etc etc. it has become way more than just food: it has become what life revolves around. But, food has to mostly be just be food if one is to manage their weight. And life has to be life

Given that talking about this doesn't seem to resonate sufficiently, maybe some outside and in person help may be necessary to assist the OP in making the leap. 🤷‍♂️

I really really don't like the concept of diet meals. Ever since I decided to be deliberate with my original major weight loss after finding MFP (about 125lbs top to bottom) I've tried for long term eating plans because my eye was on maintenance and permanence. But I didn't start out that way. I started out by deciding that I HAD to move more. And afterwards by deciding to "maybe try and lose some weight". And my "questionable" "diet" choices before I started logging food... could be legendary: substitute an "unhealthy" egg McMuffin for a "healthy" fruit and fiber muffin with a package of peanut butter and a couple of strawberry jams! You can go cry now.

So I'll even throw this out there. Fake it till you make it. Sure. Consider all this as experimental diet food! When it sucks just go ahead and consider it as penance for your past sins — the exact opposite of what I normally suggest and write about because I think it is a dumb idea, personally!

But, let's be real: Diet food doesn't need to do anything more than manage to keep you from wanting to chew on your arm and leg till your next "diet" meal rolls around adding time to the no chew off my arm clock!

If you're not chewing off your leg it is good enough to START with today.

That level of misery won't work for too long and will not get you top to bottom. But it may get you to start. And maybe you will then find inspiration along the way!

Hey, maybe try a pre and post surgical liquid meals of salmon in a blender... and then your home cooked salmon afterwards!🤷‍♂️

Just start. The salmon looked awesome. Yes, I would have cooked it a bit differently and maybe you overcooked it a bit. So what? It doesn't have to be perfect on attempt #1. And it's better than blender pureed salmon which is where surgery will take you.

And you know what? Puttering around the kitchen still counts as more activity than sitting in your chair.

Dude: you either die or you reconsider everything. Your job, your neighborhood, your friends, your entertainment, your family. Some you can't change. Some you won't change. Some you CAN change. You don't need a 100% win on everything. Just enough incremental shifts to move towards the right direction.

And a mindset where Calories are a budget and you have to stay within your budget!

PAV8888

Not in love with the new editing tools 😡

avatiach

I can’t figure out how to share the link to this discussion thread but this is a monthly challenge/discussion group where you set your own goals and you will find it if you use the search bar.
LESS Alcohol ~ MARCH 2025 ~ One Day at A Time

There are some other groups that might be helpful too.
Guys On A Diet

Some groups for people with 50+ or 100+ pounds to lose

some groups for people who are over 40, over 50, over 60 etc.

Lots of flavors of groups and some people have a lot of success / find good support from them.

You might find it helpful.

Oh, and I really like reading the Success Stories. They make me feel hopeful. You can do it!

paperpudding

I agree with above posters - there is so much 'woe is me I caaaant' in your posts.

make some changes.

Do something

It doesnt have to be perfect and it doesnt have to be everything and it might feel awkward/unpleasant/ unnatural etc at first - but don't just have excuses to do nothing.

Alatariel75

Losing weight is hard. Staying fat is hard. Choose your hard.

AnnPT77

You don't have to change. It's your choice.

You have 100% total control over your eating and activity behaviors.

Right now, you seem to be in a mindset where you don't want to change those behaviors, but you want the benefits that would come from changing. You seem to be experiencing negative emotions and stress from that conflict between current (comfortable? familiar?) behaviors and negative outcomes from those current behaviors.

I'm not trying to be mean when I say this, but I think you need to make a decision, and own the consequences of that decision: Pick a path into the future, either the familiar current path, or something different. Folks on this thread have already told you that you don't necessarily need to change radically, nor do you need to change everything all at once and immediately. They have given suggestions about changes you could make, changes that were successful for them.

What else can we do? Only you can create change in your life.

Honestly, the best advice I could give right now would be endorse what PAV said: Consult a credentialed counselor. There should be no stigma about that. Just like we call a plumber when the pipes are leaking, or a mechanic when the car isn't running as we expect, we should consult a counseling professional when we're struggling with our thought patterns and can't see a way out. I feel like the big obstacle for you right now isn't eating or exercise, it's thought patterns.

I'd like to see you succeed, sincerely. I think that if you start yourself on a better path, you'll see positive changes within a fairly short number of weeks - maybe not huuuuuge benefits right away, but some good stuff; and I think that will feel empowering because you will have taken the reins and made positive change in your life. Many of us have found that to be true.

Seeing your doctor was a good step. Take another good step. Yeah, maybe some of the possible or necessary steps may be uncomfortable or challenging . . . but you can take those steps. Only you can do that.

And if you want different outcomes, you do need to change. For any of us, doing what we've been doing, but wanting different results from that . . . not among the realistic set of options.

rl2010

thank you.

I originally started this thread to try and learn ways to make any change easier. I got/get frustrated and then everything goes in awry.

I am trying keto as it has worked in the last to lose weight fast but I understand it’s not a long term solution. Everywhere you go there are carbs. I find it easier to follow as I don’t have to count calories/weight food. I dont necessarily eat allot of fat but very low carb.

eating out is entertainment, enjoyment to relieve stress and to get out of the house with my wife. We have not gone out in a week and we have been sitting on the couch watching tv.

Trying to do something to be able to breathe until I get to the weight management dr. Short of breath is a problem and while there are issues in my lungs there is also pressure on my lungs due to the excess weight. This is why I am trying to lose weight fast. If I can get to the point of breathing better and less back pain then maybe I can try exercise. This is my goal if that is such a thing. Besides a GI doc for a fatty liver they did offer a referral for counseling as I failed the depression screening.

Sorry for the frustration.

neanderthin

[quote]

@neanderthin my comment to you was not specifically re keto or carnivore or alternative way of eating as compared to what the op prefers.

[quote/]

@PAV8888 My belief is that what the OP prefers to eat is not necessarily under their total control even when it's known concisely that what their doing has grave health consequences, basically it's overpowering rational thought.

To a select few of the population some basic biological machinery has been hijacked, so to speak, and in this context alternative diets can and do effect some of that machinery and the ketogenic diet has been shown to pretty much tackle some of the neurological effects and have shown to be fairly profound and without the long and detailed alternative solutions that don't seem to work very well, and so here we are talking about those solutions again. The equalizer is ketones which do have a measurable effect on our neurological brain and a measurement trumps an opinion and this is basically what my long winded explanation tried to convey, and suspect without much luck.

AnnPT77

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/48521812#Comment_48521812

It sounds like you're taking some positive steps. That's great: Keep up that goodness!  

Also: Please take them up on that counseling referral. I admit, it will probably feel thorny for a bit, but I think it could be very helpful. Give it a fair chance, not just one session.

If keto's helping you now, that's great. Some people find it works for them permanently, others don't. What others find about themselves doesn't necessarily generalize to you . . . but you can figure out what does work for you. Hang in there.

You can do this!

Corina1143

Congratulations on completing steps 1-3 improving your life.

1. State the problem clearly
2. Make a decision
3. Enact that decision.

Well on your way!

avatiach

Please do go see a therapist if depression is part of the equation. I have been depressed and it was really hard to make changes when I was in the middle of the depression.