Best Dad jokes

ThatClintGuy
ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member
in Chit-Chat
Bring your worst, or best.
Here’s one to get things going…

I was walking down the street the other day and was hit by a violin, a trumpet and a flute.
I have reason to believe it was an orchestrated attack.😐

Replies

  • ThatClintGuy
    ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member
    One time I had to use my step ladder, which made me sad.
    Because I never really knew my real ladder.
  • ThatClintGuy
    ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member
    A penguin walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and asks “Have you seen my brother in here?”
    And the bartender says “I don’t know, what’s he look like?”
  • ThatClintGuy
    ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member
    A major difference between men and women is that when a woman says "smell this," it usually smells good.
  • EternalTruth
    EternalTruth Posts: 589 Member
    Why did the roll of toilet paper only cross half the road?

    Because it got stuck in a crack.
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 14,979 Member
    Watch out! I know karate, kung fu, and three other Japanese words!
  • ThatClintGuy
    ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member
    I asked the librarian for a book on turtles. She asked “Hardback?”
    “Yes” I said “With the little feet and head”
  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,235 Member
    My wife called me to tell me she saw a bear on the way to work.

    I asked her, "How do you know it was on its way to work?"
  • ThatClintGuy
    ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member
    My wife asked me if I’ve seen the dog bowl.
    I said I didn’t know it could.
  • Hunterkiller666
    Hunterkiller666 Posts: 25 Member
    Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

    To show he had some guts.
  • ThatClintGuy
    ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member
    It’s so cold…
    I just saw a gangster pull his pants up
  • honey_honey_12
    honey_honey_12 Posts: 16,686 Member
    My dad’s favorite, even when he couldn’t remember our names, he remembered this joke;

    What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
    Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
  • shelbyhay819
    shelbyhay819 Posts: 88 Member
    How do you follow Will Smith in a snowstorm?

    You follow the fresh prints.
  • ThatClintGuy
    ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member

    my friend lost his left arm in an accident.

    It’s ok.

    He’s all right now.

  • ThatClintGuy
    ThatClintGuy Posts: 62 Member

    ladies, if your husband doesn’t appreciate a good fruit joke, you need to let that mango

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