It amazes me how i can feel super fat and upset about it and still overeat

Losingthedamnweight

It amazes me how i can feel super fat and upset about it and still overeat

Last night i put on my shirt and felt really insecure because of how small it felt on me. Just super tight and my gut was sticking out and i just felt like a disgusting fat piece of crap. Then i went to work (i work nights) and noticed my reflection and how chubby i was and how my uniform wasn’t fitting well and every single interaction i had with someone in the back of my mind i was thinking about how out of shape i was and how i wondered how people saw me and felt bad about it

Then on my way home from work i stopped off and got a French bread pizza and a candy bar and ate it when it wasn’t in my calories. I ate 1000 calories over what i was supposed to so I’m probably gonna be about maintenance today if not a tad over. Idk why i do this to myself. Logically, i hate the way i look and feel. So i do the exact opposite of what I’m supposed to do. I really hate myself

Alatariel75

It's a really, really hard mindset to break. "I'm a fat piece of crap, so I may as well be a fat piece of crap with a full belly and happy taste buds" was my mindset for a very, very long time.

I can't even really pinpoint what changed, and wish I could give better advice, but you're not alone, and it can be beaten.

Just one day at a time, one win at a time, and celebrate even the smallest victory to show that nasty little voice in your head that you are winning, and you are worth it.

poodle_whisper

addiction

sollyn23l2

Immediate rewards are much more "rewarding" than long term, down the line rewards like weight loss. In the end, only you can make that decision. When I had to go gluten free (celiac) I used to cry and white knuckle the steering wheel when I passed by a McDonalds or Pizza Hut. No exaggeration. I promise, if I can do it, you can do it. Is it easy? No. Absolutely not. Life isn't designed to be easy or fair. Or I'd still be able to eat pizza.😆

Fursian

I think I am slowly making some progress. I think this needs to be tackled from a few different angles, though.

1. Internal dialogue. From reading your post, yours sounds vicious. It's only been within the last 3-4 years where I've actually become aware of my own internal dialogue "Inner voice", and it was nasty. I may as well have been living with a childhood bully or been roomies with an unhinged co-worker, determined to see me dead. That voice was not friendly, but little by little (work in progress), I have changed how I speak to and about myself.

2. Education. Learning the science behind our modern "foods" and the way they're designed. Yes, designed. They really have changed, and so to has our behavior around them. I've found a few books so far that have been helpful, and websites. Whatever learning method suits you best.

3. Analyzing the "food" and my behavior. This has been interesting. One of the last things I really took note of was with a box of biscuits, lightly coated in chocolate. I was mindlessly making my way through them, none of them really registering, but what was present was an 'itch' that only makes you want more. That itch was a frustration that never went away through the entire eating session. One is seemingly never enough, and the projection is that the box wont be big enough, eventually. Tolerance.

An all to eerily familiar story to when I used to drink alcohol. That ever present itch that never went away and just got louder. One was not enough, and the night outs got too short.

So my recent approach is to keep all the stuff that makes me itchy to a minimum, continue to educate myself in the meantime, and eventually cutting ties, hopefully.

And finally,

4. Entertainment. Hobbies and interests, having things to look forward to, short and long term. With the hyper-stimulation and numbing of these foods and previous stints with alcohol, it makes the world appear grey-scale, and it can look like it's your only form of entertainment, because very little seems to light your head up the same or more than these things. With time and space, we can find our new level of things that genuinely make us feel good. This is a work in progress for me.

All the best to you, I hope you can get to a better place.

Passionateseeker

Sorry to hear you are going through this. As mentioned by others, you are definitely not alone. When we overeat when we feel bad, it's emotions behind it. We feel so down that we seek to feel better, even for a minute. Food is comforting , especially with those those delicious fats and sugars. You can congratulate yourself for asking the right question - You are reflecting on the motives behind the binge. So good for you - you are on the right track. Is there something else you could do the next time you are feeling low to make yourself feel a bit better - something other than food? Mayb it's a self affirmation, talking to a friend on the drive home, saving a favorite TV show to look forward to, or blasting your fave song in the car. If it's food you need, mayb treat yourself to some fresh berries (expensive where I live, so a devoted treat) or a sparkling water?

Good luck, you can do it!

You can do it!!

neanderthin

It's where the ideology and stupidity of the medical community and guilt for a large percentage that are overweight when being told they're fat because they're gluttons and all they have to do is eat less and move more, doctors have been saying this for 50 years, so they must be right.

Most packaged foods are designed and formulated to be over eaten and this has been going on since the tobacco companies diversified and got into the food business and the big one was Phillip Morris when in the late 80's bought Kraft and took their research teams and scientist with them. Do the research into processed foods and it should give you some information that might be valuable going forward. This aspect of overeating is hormonal and people really have no defense for it and it's part of the reason today that around 75% of the US population is either overweight or obese. It really is a disgusting legacy that Americans will be branded with post enlightenment, because that's inevitable as well.

totameafox

The first time I decided to lose weight, if it didn't have the entire calorie count the back I didn't buy it. So I pretty much at frozen meals. stuff like soda, chip and ice cream. I didn't buy. Not that i didn't consume. But if i wanted it, i had to get in my car and go get it.

the second time i decided to lose weight I looked more closely at what i needed to eat. I centered everything around a serving of protein and made the rest vegetables. I ate 4 times a day. breakfast, second breakfast, lunch all chicken, rice and veggies. I was so tired of chewing by the end of the night supper was 1/3 container of low calorie ice cream.

now i have diabetes... so no ice cream. but I'm still eating more volume of food than before because i'm what i am eating is better for me. Right now you are stressed. so make a salad with a no/low calorie dressing, a serving of meat, a little cheese and add veggies to it: zucchini, cucumber, bell pepper, onion... maybe some mushroooms. my aunt puts corn and peas in hers. This way you can still 'binge' but not have a devastating result. this will give you time to change your way of thinking so that your urge to binge will lessen over time.

It takes me an hour and a half to eat a salad that is under 400 calories. I hope this helps.

ddsb1111

I can see exactly how and why you would do this. You didn’t preplan and you were hungry after work. You’re human after all. So much of successful dieting is anticipating your needs and preparing in advance. I bet if you had something prepared that was delicious, in your calories, and convenient, you would focus on that instead of the pizza and candy. You have to decide what you’re going to do to set yourself up for success, so it becomes muscle memory. If you don’t, then you’re relying on the fallibility of willpower.

littlegreenparrot1

Hating myself never got me anywhere, and nor did being upset about it but not having a plan. I only made any progress when I gave myself grace. You're not less worthy just because you ate some food.

I don't do well with strict rules, as soon as I feel like I 'can't' do something I am much more likely to do it. I have to re-frame it.
I am having delicious soup for dinner that I made because I like it, and I know it nourishes me and helps me achieve something I want to do. It isn't punishment. I just had a bar of chocolate with my lunch at work because they had my favorite and for various reasons its been a couple of very tough days. Those two things together probably pretty much balance out, and they fulfil other needs that I have.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Maybe today you have half the pizza, or you have something in your bag that you can eat on the way home instead, or you have something different/ a bit more for lunch so your not that hungry. A plan can change, but having a plan in the first place means you can be more mindful and make an actual decision rather than feeling out of control.