Does anyone else have the same problems?

eodonnell286

Hello! New here. 32yo female. I’m wondering if anyone here has or has had the same problems as myself.

I’m unable to lose weight because I’m not eating ENOUGH, ugh. (I’m sure the timing, quality, etc. of my meals are also playing a part). But my body is storing fat because it doesn’t know when its next meal is coming, so it’s become trained to do so.

I also don’t seem to notice or respond to hunger signals like other people. I never really have… but until the last 2 years I’ve always been thin, so it never mattered because I’ve never needed to lose weight.

Side note: I gained the weight (~75 lbs) from taking a medication (Abilify).

I’m not expecting most people to understand; I’m just looking for even one single person that gets it and possibly has some tips/tricks for me to turn this around.

This may sound silly, or even ridiculous, to some (I’m so nervous to post this for that reason), but it really is a problem that’s greatly affecting my quality of life.

Please don’t post any comments/concerns about me having an eating disorder. It is most assuredly not an eating disorder (according to my MD that’s known me 20+ years, my psychologist, & my therapist). Again, the lack of hunger response has been present as long as I can remember.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I’m hopeful that I’ll receive some helpful feedback <3

SafariGalNYC

have you been tracking/counting calories & weighing your food to know how many accurate calories you are eating?

Have you increased exercise?

strawberrygirl777

Hello! I am in a very similar boat! Never could gain weight my whole life, and two years ago started gaining and pants not fitting. I went back to a desk job and thought it was sitting all day and eating the free lunches. But last September I turned 40 and I think it now may be perimenopause. Missing hunger clues can be something like ADHD which I have. I like to start my day by skipping breakfast and only having coffee. I’m a single mom of 2 and just want to get out the door. Once at work I work 10 hour days so I try to wait until 1pm to have lunch to break up my day. I really think not eating much has slowed down my metabolism. Meanwhile I’m the biggest I’ve ever been. I need to lose 15-20 pounds. My belly fat is crazy it just keeps multiplying which is so weird after being scrawny my whole life. It gets in the way and I don’t like how it feels or looks, as I have a small chest and it sticks out like I’m pregnant. Today I had enough and I went to Old Navy and bought new workout clothes since smalls from 5 years ago no longer fit, and I downloaded this app! So no more skipping meals let’s get our metabolisms fired up and get healthy. :)

eodonnell286

@SafariGalNYC I’ve started counting calories but do not weigh my food.

Honestly, I’m definitely not currently giving my best efforts to increase exercise. Now that it’s warming up, I’m going outside a lot more, taking walks, playing w my daughter, etc. [I’ve always had an issue with S. A. D., & it’s been gloomy and frigid where I live for like 6 months. Like cold to the point where it’s unsafe to go outside]. Last summer when I really gave it the ole college try, I was seeing a personal trainer 3x/wk for 3 months; I joined a sand volleyball league that played 2x/wk; things like that. I was also lugging a 2yo along with me everywhere I went. I didn’t lose a single pound; I didn’t shrink a single millimeter anywhere. They had really high-tech machines/tests that told me exactly how little results I was getting 😔

NotForJustNowForever

Hi!

I don't know if it's helpful, but if hunger doesn't work, go for taste. Make meals that are tastes you absolutely enjoy. Focus on flavors. The type that make you pause and think "YUM!"

Also: pre-planning your meals can help.

I will also add that weighing food does help. Eyeballing can be misleading. Over time, after weighting for a while, you can eyeball more successfully. But it's amazing how 1 tablespoon of ketchup is not at all what I use to call one tablespoon of ketchup. LOL

(ETA: note that I add this because eating enough or past what you're targeting: it helps in both cases to assess things properly most times. For example I'm not sociable (LOL) but when I go out I find an equivalent dish in MFP and pick the largest version. When I did that I adjusted everywhere else until I realized I was not eating enough sometimes because I wasn't assessing my serving correctly. Nowadays, I remedy that by just considering my rare outings as… chillax days! And the day prior and the day after, I'm back on track - currently increasing my cals to help my body adapt to my now for example -).

For context: I've done OMAD (no longer am) and it really changed my capacity to perceive when I'm hungry (that's how it affected me personally at least). Also under stress, I can forget to eat.

Planning my meals and focusing of flavors I love (as well as what gives me energy) has helped me and my relationship with food a lot.

ETA: Talking about me personally, I'm very intent on developing as healthy a relationship as I can with my body, myself, and with food. So that's where I'm coming from.

SafariGalNYC

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/48538416#Comment_48538416

@eodonnell286 i am rarely ever hungry… I eat for nutrition.

I would definitely start weighing your food, you may be eating a lot more calories than you think and may not be in a deficit at all. Esp meat - are you eating poultry? Red meat? When you eat pasta or cereal are you measuring your portion?

Also- don’t trust numbers in the MFP database- they are frequently wrong. Check your calorie numbers.

I’m betting you may be getting more calories than you think… the body won’t hold on to fat if it’s in a consistent deficit and calories are being burned through exercise… even a low metabolism or weight gain because of medication can be outwitted by calorie math or increased exercise- I’d do both for a few weeks and monitor.

Ps You mentioned having SAD - how is the nutritional content/health content of your diet?
If you aren’t getting enough vitamins it can contribute to SAD. Fish/increased omega 3 is often increased in SAD.

Good luck!

bunnytree

I also do not eat enough and suspect my body enters a starvation mode. I am 49 now and am menopausal and using hormone replacement which so far is just making me gain weight. Its major frusterating to not want to eat much yet we have to get our bodies to understand its okay to let some weight go. I used to be the skinniest girl in any room and now i am overweight by about 45 lbs. I have used MFP over the years and if i commit to it, I can see where my problems are- such as not enough protein usually. Ive decided to just force feed myself all day to make it to 1400 calories which is high protein (above 100 grams) per day.

I do think i dont feel hunger cues in part because i am unmedicated ADD.

Perhaps have someone find out if your progesterone/estrogen are shifting to be lower than optimal. I began adding unwanted weight at age 43 and that was perimenopause now that I look back.

AnnPT77

Honestly, for several in this thread, I think it would be a good plan to learn more about "starvation mode" and what it really means for weight loss when eating fewer than ideal calories.

I'm going to go into frank "tough love granny" mode here, and speak very plainly. If it sounds mean, that's not where I'm coming from. I want you to succeed. When I lost from obese to a healthy weight as a 59-60 year old long-menopausal woman, it was a huge quality of life improvement for me. I want that for everyone, even strangers. So I'm going to be brutally honest.

There's a lot of mythology on the internet. Objectively, demonstrated by both scientific research and practical examples, there's literally no such thing as eating so few calories that we can't lose fat, even as we go to lower and lower calories.

If that were a thing, no human would ever starve to death, or they'd be fat when it happened. Sadly, many, many people starve to death worldwide - the UN estimates it could be as many as 25000 people daily. Their corpses are not fat, they are skin and bones, with at most some swollen abdomen from malnutrition or having tried to eat inedible things out of abject hunger before they died.

Fortunate developed-world people who have enough food to have become over-fat are not physiologically different. If we eat little enough, we'll lose fat, guaranteed.

What can happen: If we eat less than adequate amounts for basic fueling and nutrition, our bodies do slow down some functions. Maybe we're cold all the time from a drop in internal body temperature, our hair thins or falls out and our nails get brittle because they stop growing properly, we may lose muscle so find it more difficult and tiring to move, our immune system weakens so we catch diseases more easily and heal more slowly . . . and worse, perhaps.

On top of that, we can be fatigued, weak - subtly or noticeably - and drag through the day, moving less, burning fewer calories than we'd expect. Not zero calories, but fewer.

Another thing that happens is that as we eat too little, the physical stress of that takes a toll on our bodies, and we can retain much more water because of stress hormones, loosely speaking. In some cases, that can be surprisingly many pounds of water retention, and it will hide ongoing slower fat loss on the scale. But that added weight is not fat, just water. Reducing the stress will flush it.

None of that is the body "holding onto fat". It's the body trying to save us from starving to death, because it can't tell a diet from a famine. Humans' history had a lot more famines than diets.

I guarantee, there is some low(er) calorie level where weight loss would still happen. There may also be some higher calorie level at which weight loss would be easier and more successful, not to mention more health-promoting.

Dialing in that best calorie level is complicated and very individual.

Some common strategies recommended for women in menopause/perimenopause - by those marketers who won't tell you what the strategies are because they need to sell the "secret": Increased activity, both daily life and exercise; challenging strength exercise specifically; good overall nutrition, especially ample protein; adequate calories while keeping a sensible deficit for loss. For bonus points, improve sleep quality/quantity if that's sub-par now. There's more, but those are the biggies.

Get a sensible calorie goal, follow it reasonably closely on average for 4-6 weeks (or one full menstrual cycle for those who still have them). At the end of that period, compare average weekly weight change to your goal loss rate, and adjust calories if necessary. Continue in that fashion, and you'll lose weight - high, high odds.

You can learn more about the truth around "starvation mode" in the first few posts of this thread, an oldie but goodie:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1077746/starvation-mode-adaptive-thermogenesis-and-weight-loss

Read all of the posts by the OP there near the top of the thread. Yes, he's a guy, but he knows what he's talking about, and it applies to women, too. Some of the water retention possibilities may even apply extra-much to women.

In some social circles, there can be a lot of bonding over "it's so hard to lose weight" "menopause is doom to weight loss" (or hypothyroidism, aging, PCOS, blah blah blah), "it's essential to do this super-hard trendy XYZ diet to lose", "it's essential to do intense exercise like HIIT daily to lose weight", "it's not worth it unless I lose super fast", etc., etc., etc. Don't get pulled into that. It's all mythology with minimal underpinning of truth. Bonding may feel good, but it doesn't help weight loss.

Do some of those things increase difficulty somewhat? Sure. But they aren't insurmountable. I'm far from the only woman here who lost meaningful amounts of weight while pretty old, long-term obese, hypothyroid, menopausal, and more. Those who did that had to take a serious, logical look at the required process, and commit to it. You can, too. It's an individual decision.

Truly, the rewards of success are worth the effort it takes to get there, IME. I'm cheering for you to succeed.