What's your perspective? Opinions wanted!

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  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
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    I agree with a lot that is being said. I noticed how many times you said that he loved you and he wanted this and he wanted that and yet you only mentioned once in passing that you loved him. I also have a husband you says he wants me to lose weight, not because he is unhappy about my looks but because he says he just found me and doesn't want to lose me. He doesn't threaten me or berate me and make it about him. He brings me a glass of water every time he passes me, keeps all junk food hidden downstairs where it won't "call my name" and will eat anything that is on my "diet plan". He by the way is not overweight at all. He does worry about my health but supports me all the way.

    Maybe there is a reason you regained the weight. Sometimes we gain to make ourselves unattractive so no one will want us. If no one wants us we can't get hurt by them.

    I also don't think that you "wasted" 8 years. Maybe you were busy learning something so that when life hands you something incredible down the road you will be ready for it. I was married to the manic depressive and then lived with the alcoholic because I didn't think I was worthy. I still don't feel that I deserve the good things in life at times and still I have an incredible husband. I don't really believe that "if you don't love yourself no one else can love you". I think that there is some truth in it but I think the right people in your life can help you realize that you are worth it.

    You should maybe think about what makes you happy. What you want in life and in a partner. I actually made a list (wrote it down and everything). I listed all the things I HAD to have in a relationship, all the things I could NOT have and the things in between that I could give or take. My husband is absolutely everything I had to have, none of the could not haves and most of the I wanted but didn't have to have.

    They exist, so set your standards above "settle for" and work on making yourself happy in a healthy way and let life hand you the perfect person for you when you are ready.

    Well said. Congrats on finding a "keeper.":flowerforyou:

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