Dealing with internalized fatphobia?

7p7spx62df

I’m 21, 5’7, and 226. I’ve started losing weight again after leaving a toxic relationship & getting my physical health issues sorted & having endo surgery. I’ve been in recovery from Atypical Anorexia w purging for 6+ years, and at a good spot. I was staying the same weight for years, between 210-215. But when I got with my ex it shot up to 237. I’ve noticed people treat me differently, and I hate it. I hate the way I’m judged for my body right now- and the assumptions made. No I don’t eat unhealthy, no I don’t just drink soda or candy (I eat neither), and no I’m not lazy. I’m scared to keep losing weight, because I DONT want people to comment on my body. I DONT want to hear their assumptions on my health or weight. between stress, medications, and chronic fatigue due to my health issues and mental health, I slowly gained weight which was worsened by relationship stress/college- I generally felt hungrier, and was eating on average an extra 100-150 calories a day which adds up over time. I just want to feel more comfortable in clothing, move/ bend my body easier, and feel better. I started a GLP 1, because my doctor said my health issues/ history of ed + chronic stress have messed with my metabolism . ALL of my blood tests are normal- my blood pressure is low and my heart is very healthy. This isn’t about my health, or because it think it’s wrong to look like me. I wish people wouldn’t treat it like that. This is for ME, and how I feel in my body and how it moves.
Is anyone else afraid of how people will react to them after they lose weight? I don’t want to be treated differently.
HW:237 CW:226 GW:160-180.

sollyn23l2

If you're that conflicted about it, you don't have to lose weight. You mention internalized fatphobia, but then talk about how you believe others percieve you. If you're only real reason for wanting to lose weight is other people's thoughts (which you don't really know), it will be a long, dark road.

PAV8888

"This is for ME, and how I feel in my body and how it moves"

"Is anyone else afraid of how people will react to them after they lose weight? I don’t want to be treated differently."

The first statement should, under ideal conditions, be sufficient to overwhelm and overpower the concerns expressed in the second.

You mention both mental health and ED? Do you have access to counseling? Your second statement is something they may be able to help you with.

Re physical health. There is physical health today. There is physical health tomorrow. You are 21. Even at 42 you would be young for most physical health problems to show. But your 63 to 84 year self will be dealing with most of the physical health consequences.

fmh1512

Please don’t assume people judge you when you reduce weight. I feel completely inspired by anyone who loses weight because it’s so hard. It requires qualities that I admire like perseverance, dedication, self-discipline, self-care and drive. Everyone has their own reasons (I don’t like being old) for wanting to lose weight. But rather than seeing people’s interest in your personal journey in a negative way - perhaps realise that this could come from a good place. If your friend or colleague got a new job - or bought a new outfit - or had new hair style etc … you’d probably say congratulations or compliment them on how lovely it was. In fact it would be rude not to. The power lies with you to see peoples interest shown in your personal achievements from a different angle … ❤️.

samgettingfit25

I hope you don't let concern about other people's judgement get in the way of you living your best life and taking care of yourself. I wish I learned this when I was in my teens and early 20s. If people are going to judge, they will find something to judge regardless. Often, it comes from a place of insecurity. That, and most adults really don't have the headspace to think about other people as much as you might think.

Since you mentioned you started GLP-1, I take one myself, and find people can be quite judgy about that. I hope you are getting some type of mental health support in addition, since you have a history of ED. Someone in the Ozempic reddit group was taking the drug for diabetes but had a long history of anorexia. They apparently were interviewed by the Guardian and posted a link to the article. I don't know them at all, but I imagine that complicates weight loss by any means and especially glp-1 meds since they often reduce appetite. The article: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/apr/04/ozempic-semaglutide-eating-disorders

ddsb1111

How long have you been at a weight that places your BMI over 25?

For reference, the average healthy weight range for a woman who is 5’7” is typically between 122–149 lbs. You mentioned your goal is to be between 160-180 lbs. Just so you’re aware, at 180 lbs your BMI would be around 27.5, which falls into the overweight category. Even at 160 lbs, your BMI would be about 25.1, technically still above the healthy range. And from the little I’ve gathered, you’re not an extreme athlete.

That said, it is possible to be overweight and still healthy, especially if you’re active and mindful of your nutrition. But it’s important to recognize that carrying extra weight can put more strain on your body over time, especially as we age.

I’m curious, why do you feel resistance to aiming for a BMI within the healthy range (18.5–24.9)? Family norms can often give people body dysmorphia, and it affects both sides of the spectrum. And sometimes there are deeper reasons or fears that come up when we talk about weight and health goals.

Ultimately, the benefits of maintaining a healthy weight include reduced risk of chronic diseases, more energy, and overall improved well being. So what do you think might be holding you back from fully stepping into a path of long term health and wellness? You mention you fear losing weight, but typically there’s mostly good outcomes, not bad.

Feel free to respond only of you’re comfortable. Other than that, it seems like a good idea to discuss this with a professional since you’ve been diagnosed with a disorder and have medical issues.

I hope you find your way to a healthy and happy lifestyle and get all the love and support you need.

7p7spx62df

@ddsb1111 Emotions aside. Why did you feel it was necessary to go off topic and give unsolicited advice in such a condescending way? Where in my post, did I ask for advice or recommendations on my ideal weight? Are you my doctor, or anyone’s doctor on this app? If you aren’t, why do you feel it’s appropriate to make assumptions on someone else’s health & what their bodies need? Why do you feel it’s necessary to make judgmental comments and accuse me of not wanting to “”fully”” step into it ? Or saying only “extreme athletes” are capable of having a healthy weight outside BMI standards? By bmi standards it would actually be 118-156

I would suggest getting off the high horse. And doing some more digging into BMI especially as it relates to women and proportions.

FYI. The 160-180 goal was given to me by multiple doctors. It’s also where I feel the strongest & most comfortable. This kind of judgement and comments is actually what I was posting about. This kind of attitude is EXACTLY what I meant.

You are assuming I’m not knowledgeable about nutrition, health risks, or how important weight is- But learning about nutrition and health actually is what has helped me recover from my eating disorder. It made me realize how bad it was to starve myself or make myself sick. How bad it was regardless of the weight I was at- FYI. When I was hospitalized, they made me gain weight despite having a BMI over 25.

I’m sticking with what my doctor recommended and what I’m comfortable with.

pic of me when I was 185 and a size 6-8

pants and small- medium top. I don’t want to be 20+ pounds thinner than that. I don’t need to be. My goal isn’t being a size 0-2.

7p7spx62df

@samgettingfit25 hey! Thanks for commenting. I’ve definitely seen people posting judgement about GLP1’s and it’s really sad. For me I have endo & adenmosis + adhd and some other stuff. So the chronic fatigue + pain + stress has really made it hard to be as active during my flares. I’ve taken anti-psychotics and currently on lithium and god knows those destroy any sense of being full and mess w ur thyroid 🙃. When I wasn’t on a GLP1 the food noise was badddd it wasn’t like I was binging or craving unhealthy stuff it was just like being so hungry alllll the time. It’s not a factor of will power- it’s feeling starved when you ate 4 hours ago and not feeling full when you eat a snack . I think people judging those on GLP1’s don’t realize the hunger they feel, is when some people feel most of the day, and can’t stop thinking about.

I’ve also been working on what you mentioned- people are usually too busy with themselves to care about what you’re doing. My past relationship didn’t help me with reaching that- so I ended it. I got sick once and it made me throw up for like two days, and when I saw my boyfriend next he was like “have you weighed yourself lately? You look good” even though it was from being sick- he was more concerned with my weight than health. I think too, before when I was struggling with an ED, when I lost weight everyone was saying how “good” I looked etc, and it made me feel like my old body was bad, or “not good”.

But I guess you have to take it with a grain of salt. I’m going to read the article you sent :)! Sorry for the Ted talk.

ddsb1111

Hey, I just wanted to clarify where I was coming from. The reason I responded in the first place is because you asked if anyone else was afraid of reactions to losing weight and were dealing with fatphobia. Since this is/was an issue, the questions and responses were based on your past experience and getting clarity on what version of fat phobia you are dealing with. With standardized testing there’s always outliers, which is perfectly fine and common as I mentioned.

Maybe I’m not fully understanding the topic or exactly what kind of support you’re looking for. Here’s a few reasons-

You mentioned struggling with fatphobia, but your goal weight of 160–180 lbs actually sounds really reasonable and balanced. That’s part of what I was trying to understand better, because fatphobia is often tied to very extreme or unrealistic weight goals. It made me curious about how you personally define or perceive terms like “fat,” “normal,” “thin,” or “skinny.”

From the way your comment was phrased, it initially sounded (to me) like there was fear around reaching a standard healthy weight, which, ironically, would be more reflective of societal weight stigma than fatphobia itself. But I realize now I may have misunderstood your context.

You also mentioned fear of comments about your weight and health if you lose weight. I get how triggering that can be, but in many cases people tend to comment more when someone gains weight or is over weight, not loses it. Sometimes weight loss brings compliments, even if they’re unsolicited, but I understand how either direction can feel invasive depending on your experience.

I definitely wasn’t trying to be condescending or judgmental, I’m really sorry if it came across that way. I know how personal and layered these topics are, especially when it comes to weight, health, and recovery.

Wishing you strength on your journey and respect the decisions you’re making for yourself.