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MyCatLookedAtMe

Hello! My name is Jessilyn. I am a 24 year old college student that works a part time job at DisneyWorld. Let me tell of my past, and then we will move onto my present and what I'd like for my future. If you'd like, just skip to where I say "I AM SICK OF IT".

I am about 5'6. Something I dislike about certain BMI websites is that they don't point out that different bone structures have different healthy weights. In high school at my currant height I weighed 130 lbs. At this weight I was thin and my bones were fairly visible. I wouldn't say I looked unhealthy exactly, however I certainly was. I did not get to 130 by exercise or dieting. I barely ate, and when I did eat it wasn't a lot. I guess this is anorexia, but I am not sure since I did eat at times. I developed this disorder when I took a job at a restaurant, I was 16, and I was terrified the constant exposure to food would fatten me up. So, I didn't eat the food at all, except maybe a few sneaked bites of pineapple sometimes and the week I was forced to eat their food because I needed to recommend items. I didn't look down on larger people. My girlfriend at the time was quite obese. I just didn't want to be large myself. This caught up to me though. I went to college and my health just started failing badly. I fainted a lot, and plummeted into a world of health problems not really caused by not eating, but certainly exacerbated by it.

At age 18, roughly 2.5 months after I graduated high school I met my husband, Reilly. He thought I was beautiful. And he just adored my personality, a very good match with his. Sadly I went away to college and I didn't see him much, but I would visit with him on my trips home. He asked me out the following January, and then due to health issues related to diet I was sent away from school. In these few months I developed bad eating habits, getting out of the anorexia a bit, and gained about 20 pounds, but was confident it was the freshman 15, and I'd lose it again. I never did, although I didn't look bad at 150 lbs. I wasn't as slender, but I looked about average. But, I wasn't eating right and was really sick from eating crap and not proteins and veggies.

I moved back to my father's and spent more time with Reilly, which meant we ate out a lot. And I got a job in a restaurant again, but I did eat the food there because it was free and I was on a slow shift with nothing to do. So, I got fatter to around 180, and even after quitting I didn't drop the weight. Reilly still thought I was beautiful though.

We moved in together May 2012, then got married in August. I wish I could have lost weight for the wedding, but the hold on me at this point was tight. I developed eating from boredom habits, and we didn't make dinners really due to busy lifestyles. So, I gained another 20 and...

I AM SICK OF IT!

I tried diets that tell you to make this, eat this much of that, but they didn't work because one diet had the lady eat out all the time, and she didn't even tell where she would eat so I could order the same thing at least, and another just had me buy too much food that'd go to waste because we didn't use it enough. The 2nd book I can at least get recipes from. This one I think will work because I can eat what I want, and just check the calories. I will double check if it's worth eating this snack if it means less dinner later. And, if a friend wants to grab dinner, I can do that! I can use the app to see what my limits are.

I decided to try MFP because I want to be 130 again, or at least a size 8, and healthy! I want to be able to wear pants and not have the thighs rub together and get all fuzzy and weird. I want to be able to visit theme parks and not get a chafe where my thighs touch. I want to be able to see a cute shirt somewhere and not pray they have my size. I want to have energy and give my wonderful husband a wife that he can do playful cat calls at again. (Note, he does assure me he still finds me attractive, but I feel like it'd be more sincere if I were in better shape.)

I would love your support, so please join me and together we can conquer this horrid epidemic of overweightness in America (or wherever you are!).

TamaraKat

Welcome to MFP!!! :bigsmile:
I am sure you will find countless and endless numbers of people that are supportive, motivative, and outgoing! The journey is a hard one but a good one and I wish you luck!!!
:flowerforyou:
You can add me if you like; its an open invite for everyone! LETS DO THIS!!