Almost 45, post menopause, post double mastectomy

tanyalawton

I’ve gained 10 lbs since my mastectomy surgery, 4/25/25. Yes, I had to limit my exercise for almost 6-8 weeks… just walking on incline, encouraging lots of rest from surgeon. I’ve picked up real me working out around 6/20/25. I’m being so active… I’m on summer break, I work with special education in public school. I’m always on the go there… I know I gain a little weight over the summer, like 2-3 lbs. I’m so frustrated! I can’t get the scale to budge. Any suggestions for those post menopause? Also, I know that there are people who actually need more than the 10k steps a day. Also, who figured that as an all around thing? Maybe post menopause we need 15k a day? I don’t know.. anyone understand?

AnnPT77

Hello and welcome!

We have some similarities: I had bilateral mastectomies at age 44, in my case followed by chemo and radiation. Chemo put me in menopause within a month. I was also diagnosed as severely hypothyroid shortly after treatment - that's common among women as we age, but somewhat more common amongst women who've experienced full-bore breast cancer treatment like that.

I admit, I didn't lose weight right away. I hadn't been routinely active before my cancer diagnosis, and I did gradually get more active after that treatment. I recognized that it was going to be essential if I wanted a chance of recovering normal strength, energy, maybe even happiness.

Over the course of a year or two, I got quite active, working out pretty intensely 6 days most weeks, even competing as an athlete . . . not always unsuccessfully, in age group competitions. I even lost a couple of pants sizes over quite a long time period - more muscle, less fat - but I remained close to constant weight, up and down on the border between overweight and obese BMI.

But I didn't lose weight. Mostly, that's because I didn't try to lose weight. Until I did.

Finally, at age 59-60, I committed to weight loss, finally admitting to myself that reaching better health - blood test results and blood pressure, for example - wasn't going to happen from just being active (even though that definitely had brought health benefits). I'm 69 now, and have been at a healthy weight for over 9 years - still in menopause, still (thankfully) with no sign of cancer recurrence, still severely hypothyroid (medicated), much older, still quite active athletically.

Different people achieve weight loss in different ways, but honestly I've come to believe that it is all about calorie balance, at the foundation. Sure, there are other potential complications on top of that foundation, but that's the root of success: Eating manageably fewer calories than we individually burn, on average.

Personally, I didn't materially increase exercise to lose weight. I certainly don't get 10k steps or anything close to that. (I have pre-existing bad knees; steps are not my personal exercise modality.) According to my fitness tracker, worn as close to 24x7 as recharging permits, I've averaged about 5k steps daily over the past year, almost entirely from daily life stuff, not exercise. There's no magical or essential number of steps. There have been people here who are full-time wheelchair users by necessity who've lost weight.

Honestly, there's a lot of blogosphere, popular-press and tabloid mythology - let alone skeezy marketing - saying we need to get X number of steps, do ABC weirdly restrictive eating plan, or variations on those kinds of themes. But in the 10 years I've been active on MFP, what I see among people who are long term successful isn't anything like that: They're much more boring. They figure out how to stay mostly full and happy eating a bit less, maybe increase activity - daily life stuff as well as exercise - in pleasant (or at least tolerable and practical) ways.

People who throw themselves into some aggressive plan for losing weight fast by revolutionizing their eating and activity in difficult ways don't usually last long. More often, they become part of the "I'm back" group who lose a few pounds, get discouraged because their plan is just too hard to stick with, regain those pounds and often a few more, then come back with a new extreme plan that's the current doo-dad being touted on the internet or something.

What we need as aging women really isn't that different from what anyone needs for weight loss: A manageable calorie deficit. Bonus if we add good nutrition (especially protein, since many women and aging people run short), and some reasonable cardiovascular and strength exercise. Strength exercise is important for all, but maybe extra much so for women as we age, because we need to concern ourselves with things like bone strength as well as muscular strength, among other reasons.

There's no hack or trick or even requirement for weight loss, other than the manageably moderate calorie deficit. We don't necessarily even need to count the calories: Doing so just makes the process a little more predictable.

Sure, it will take personalized tactics to accomplish a calorie deficit successfully and for long enough to lose weight (plus learn the habits needed to stay at a good weight permanently). Those tactics vary, because we're each unique people with our own preferences, strengths, limitations, and lifestyles. We have to figure it out, and it's not mind-numbingly hard, IME. Some attempted tactics will work, others won't. As long as a person keeps working at finding their right plan, they'll succeed.

Like I said, different things work for different people. Just as one option to consider, this is what worked for me:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10636388/free-customized-personal-weight-loss-eating-plan-not-spam-or-mlm

That may not be ideal for you, but if you read around here in the Community, you'll see other ideas to consider. There are quite a few women here who've lost weight in menopause and stayed at a healthy weight long term. Menopause is not that special, IMO . . . it's just being hyped hard these days as a marketing tactic.

Yes, some common side effects of menopause can make loss a little harder, such as sleep disruption or fatigue. Most people have something that makes weight loss harder, from health conditions to sabotaging families and beyond. IMO, the only point in thinking about obstacles is to figure out some wily way to get over, around or otherwise past them to our goals. Anything else is a waste of good energy.

With menopause in particular, it's literally unchangeable. Some women can use HRT to mitigate symptoms, and that can be beneficial. I can't do that, because my tumors were estrogen fed. I lost weight anyway. It wasn't insurmountable.

Your situation doubtless differs from mine - that individual uniqueness thing, right? But I'm confident you can lose the weight you want to lose. Looking beyond the myths that menopause is doom, X number of steps or ABC diet is essential, finding your personal best tactics - that'll get you there.

Wishing you success!