Focusing on habits this time
I have lost…and gained….over and over in the past. After having a pity party and thinking I just don’t have it in me to improve my weight and health I decided to look back and see why I failed to maintain and what I could do differently. Because I refuse to give up on a healthy me.
My conclusion? My failure was that I always went drastic and wanted fast results and did things I couldn’t sustain.
This time I am going to build habits that I can maintain indefinitely. It’s about becoming and staying healthy. Not just dropping the weight.
My approach? I am going to build healthy habits. I downloaded an app that tracks habits. And I have really enjoyed marking them off my “to do” list each day. I included things for eating, physical fitness, and also things for my mental health.
Of course I am still paying attention to what kind of food and how much I eat.
It’s a bit overwhelming to look at the amount of work I have ahead of me. I have to lose the same 50 lbs I lost before. But I am optimistic that building good habits is going to help me so I can stop all this up/down stuff.
I am excited to have found kettlebell exercises. It doesn’t require much space or equipment. It is something I can see myself doing in the long run.
So I guess I am just putting this out there to see if this resonates with anyone else. I am excited to be building a healthy future and not just “losing weight”. Or worse, being complacent with deteriorating health. But it is also discouraging to be at the beginning of this (again). So putting this out there reminds me to be proud I am taking small steps and that one day I will look back at how far I came. And with building long term habits I won’t have to be in this position again.
Thank you for your time.
Replies
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Personally, I think you've had an important insight.
I've been on MFP for over 10 years now, about a year to lose 50 pounds, maintaining a healthy weight since.
It is ultra-common, classic even, to see people arrive here with a "lose weight fast" mindset, cut calories to an extreme, adopt some very restrictive eating regimen (maybe one of the trendy named diets), give up all treats/junk food/fast food (even forms they could successfully eat in moderation), then maybe stack a punitively intense, miserable daily exercise plan on top of that.
That doesn't usually end well, but it does typically end quickly.
Because they're miserable, working really hard, a common reaction is to get very discouraged and even give up when they don't lose a boatload of weight in the first week or two.
There are a lot of "I'm back after regain" posts in the Introductions section.
I don't want to say that I was smart, more like lucky: I decided I wasn't going to do anything to lose weight that I wasn't willing to continue permanently to stay at healthy weight, except a sensibly moderate calorie deficit until I reached a healthy-for-me weight. That put an emphasis on finding and practicing new eating and activity habits that were ideally enjoyable, but certainly at minimum tolerable and practical. That's a very different mindset from "lose weight fast so I can go back to normal".
Routine habits are a power tool for long-term weight management. That one day when I eat too much cake, or work out for 5 hours . . . that's a drop in the ocean. The ocean is the things I do day in, day out, the overwhelming majority of the time. That's a good focus, those routine habits we follow almost on autopilot.
You're on a good track. Best wishes!
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We are what we repeatedly do.
I find mindset is important, I never got anywhere until I gave myself some grace. I'm not up for anything that feels like punishment. So don't be discouraged, we all just do the best we can at the time. Maybe now we have the space to do things differently.
It was beautiful out running at 6 am this morning, the fruit I'm having for breakfast is delicious. None of this feel like I'm being denied anything so I want to keep it up.
I also like to concentrate on what my body can do, rather than just the weight. I'm doing a 5k in September and I am getting quicker, the positive reinforcement I get from that takes me much further than any scale numbers. My life just looks like this now, and because I'm enjoying myself its more likely to stay that way.
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I’m right there with you. I’ve battled my weight on and since college so 20+ yearsssss. The only way I’ve lost is to be “drastic” but then it never sticks. I just like sweets and junk food so much. I dislike cooking, meal prep, etc. it’s a constant freaking battle. But alas, here I am AGAIN tracking calories, trying to be mindful about what I’m eating, when. It’s freaking hard and a journey. Here if you ever need a buddy!
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You can still have junk food and sweets, the key is making sure they fit into your calorie target.
It sounds like you’ve been treating each attempt as a “diet” instead of finding foods you enjoy that also work for your goals. That’s the difference between short term results and long term maintenance. If you don’t shift to something sustainable, you’ll likely end up repeating the same cycle in the future.
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To be fair, some people really struggle with moderation. It's a little bit like telling a crack addict they can have a little bit of crack because it won't affect them that much if it's just a little. Which sure, is true, but I don't know many people that can have just a little crack. So from the OP's perspective, I understand why it's a struggle. It's simple, but it's not easy.
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This^^^^^
I'm one of those folks that once you open the door just a crack, I'm going all the way in. One cookie becomes 6, one drink becomes 3 or 4. A burger? Might as well eat the fries, too!
Now that I'm in maintenance it's not so bad, I can eat at a deficit one day to counter-balance a bad Saturday night, but when I'm in loss mode I have to be pretty strict and toe the line because moderation isn't one of my strong suits, hence why I put the weight on in the first place!
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I understand that many people believe they can’t make changes right away. Like most skills, it takes practice and the right tools or education to succeed. The amount of time it takes will naturally vary for each person.
Food is not an addictive substance like certain drugs, I realize that’s a controversial statement. Still, it’s within our capacity to learn how to manage it and develop healthier habits over time.
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I'm not here to debate whether or not people can be addicted to food. Yes, most everyone can manage their intake. For some, it is much more of a struggle. And I think that's important to understand. For me, there are certain things I absolutely cannot keep in the house. For others, they're just fine with it. And I think people who can just have a few bites and be fine have difficulty understanding what it feels like to be around those foods when you can't.
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Hear, hear! (The OP, not the PP.)
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I’m not debating the fact that moderation can be hard. Including things you enjoy and keeping them in your house are two different choices. But staying on a diet forever isn’t realistic. We all have to figure out how to live with, and balance, what we like and what we need.
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I absolutely agree that some people are moderators, and others need to restrict . . . either with respect to certain foods, or across the board with a wider range of tempting foods.
Still, I think what the PP said is worth saying. I feel like quite a few people arrive here thinking that they must give up all treat/junk/fast foods for the duration in order to lose weight. Strictly, that's not true.
If there are foods a person can't moderate - and I'm betting there are at least some such foods for many or most of us - those may need to be off limits for a while, maybe even permanently. But that's about managing one's own inclinations, not about "the rules" in some stone tablet coming down from the mountain kind of way.
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Absolutely
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I second @briscogun. Everything in “moderation” almost never works for me. There are certain food and DRINKS that trigger me. Let’s be real, certain foods like sugar are HIGHLY addictive. They have scientific research to support the dopamine hit one receives after consuming sugar. There is some research to suggest it is as addictive as drugs like cocaine. I have completely restricted my lifestyle in the past to exclude items like carbs, sugar, etc. and I know I literally can do it but it’s extremely difficult. It’s exactly like @sollyn23l2 said, it’s like telling a crack addict not to do crack or do a little. I digress, it’s one day at a time, one meal at a time.
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