how to change your mindset about calories

amelo84

I like to call myself skinny fat. I don't weigh a lot (123 lbs last time I checked at a height of 5'2), but I am far from being toned/tight and absolutely hate my jiggles.I did gain weight a couple years back while I was in a bad relationship, and, since then, have worked out (Insanity, running, FitnessBlender, weight training, etc.) almost every day. I also cut back on my calories - a lot, maybe too much. I think I'm scared of calories. For those 2 years, I was eating about 600 calories a day, PLUS working out (and burning about that). Needless to say, I dropped pounds in the beginning but have plateaued over the last year and didn't tone up one bit.

Recently, I realized that my body would never change if I didn't start eating more calories. I'm trying to eat 5 small meals a day now, but I'm still finding it hard to eat enough calories. I'm getting up to about 1200 calories (but netting about 800-900 after exercise), but that is usually after I force myself to eat more even when I'm already full. By the way, I just ordered an HRM to find out exactly how many calories I'm burning in my workouts, because I think I'm underestimating my calories burned with Insanity (I'm now estimating at 8 calories burned a minute).

For example, my meal plan this week is:
- Breakfast: half an avocado with a soft-boiled egg; 1 cup coffee with 2 packets splenda and creamer
- Snack: homemade spicy roasted chickpeas (1 cup)
- Lunch: 2 pieces fiber one multigrain bread with mozzarella cheese, turkey bacon, tomato, and spring onion
- Snack: homemade white bean cilantro hummus with baby carrots
- Dinner: shrimp with quinoa and veggies, or a protein shake (150 cals) if i'm not too hungry
- Water: 5-6 glasses

How do I change my mindset from one of fearing calories to one of, if I'm burning 300-500 (or sometimes more) calories a day, I need to eat enough?! And, for that matter, how many calories should I be eating a day, and how many should I be netting? I'm scared that, after 2 years of essentially starving my body, I'm gonna gain weight from literally doubling my calories consumed...

knot_enough

I thought someone would die from only 600 calories a day.

Anyway, if you want your body to be a calorie burning machine, you need to increase muscle mass. and in order to increase muscle mass, you need to eat more calories. do not fear the calories. in moderation, they can be your friend.

hollymartin90

I'd like to know if we are meant to eat all the extra calories burned from exercise??Id say if your hungry try to eat them but its a struggle for me to eat back all the calories I work off.I usually eat around 1000-1200 cals a day depending on exercise but mfp usually says this isnt enough...I do think I have a slow metabolism to start with though which is poss why Im having to go so low to lose weight?

amelo84

knot_enough: i think im still alive! *pinches self* thanks for the motivation!

holly: im in a similar boat as you are. eating enough calories, and not feeling horrible about myself when i see the calorie count increase, has been a struggle for me! i do think that, the more you exercise and eat more regularly throughout the day, your metabolism should speed up quite a bit.

robertkeane100

I never count calories. Just avoid bread (white) and fat food

nomeejerome

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

nomeejerome

I never count calories. Just avoid bread (white) and fat food

no.

Mokey41

knot_enough: i think im still alive! *pinches self* thanks for the motivation!

holly: im in a similar boat as you are. eating enough calories, and not feeling horrible about myself when i see the calorie count increase, has been a struggle for me! i do think that, the more you exercise and eat more regularly throughout the day, your metabolism should speed up quite a bit.

This is called an eating disorder. Your best bet is to seek some professional help to deal with your issues.

cwolfman13

knot_enough: i think im still alive! *pinches self* thanks for the motivation!

holly: im in a similar boat as you are. eating enough calories, and not feeling horrible about myself when i see the calorie count increase, has been a struggle for me! i do think that, the more you exercise and eat more regularly throughout the day, your metabolism should speed up quite a bit.

This is called an eating disorder. Your best bet is to seek some professional help to deal with your issues.

Yes...and not trying to be mean. This is an eating disorder and I don't know anyone who has been ever to overcome this kind of disordered thinking without professional help. I could sit here all day and drop all kinds of science...laws of thermodynamics...the fact that the average woman maintains weight at around 2,000 calories per day, etc and it wouldn't make one bit of difference to someone with this kind of disordered thinking.

TheVimFuego

I never count calories. Just avoid bread (white) and fat food

You should write a book.

Skrib69

There is only 1 answer - professional help. Good luck!

amelo84

i came here for advice on what is a good calorie count for me, and maybe some words of encouragement, based on your experience, that eating calories burned will not result in a weight increase. i have obviously doubled my calorie intake (as i mentioned), because i realized that i was doing something wrong. i am not the only person in this world or in this forum, for that matter, who eats too little or too many calories. and i am obviously willing to increase my calories if i can figure out a good diet and exercise plan that will work for me.

instead of constructive criticism as in, if you are burning 500 calories a day, you can safely eat 1500 calories a day, you tell me to get professional help. if i wanted or thought i needed professional help, i wouldn't be asking you people for help. would you tell someone who eats 3000 calories a day that they should get professional help because they eat too much, and that's also clearly an eating disorder (in your opinion)? if someone was eating 3000 calories a day and wanted to lose 50 lbs, you would probably, instead, give them advice on what to take out of their diet and suggest that they take up running. thanks anyway.

Mokey41

would you tell someone who eats 3000 calories a day that they should get professional help because they eat too much, and that's also clearly an eating disorder (in your opinion)? if someone was eating 3000 calories a day and wanted to lose 50 lbs, you would probably, instead, give them advice on what to take out of their diet and suggest that they take up running. thanks anyway.

Yes, if they presented it in the same way. Someone eating 3000 calories a day fearing they would lose too much if they ate less would also be disordered eating. A lot of overweight people have disordered thinking when it comes to food and often benefit from professional help in dealing with what drives them to over eat.

nomeejerome

i came here for advice on what is a good calorie count for me, and maybe some words of encouragement, based on your experience, that eating calories burned will not result in a weight increase. i have obviously doubled my calorie intake (as i mentioned), because i realized that i was doing something wrong. i am not the only person in this world or in this forum, for that matter, who eats too little or too many calories. and i am obviously willing to increase my calories if i can figure out a good diet and exercise plan that will work for me.

instead of constructive criticism as in, if you are burning 500 calories a day, you can safely eat 1500 calories a day, you tell me to get professional help. if i wanted or thought i needed professional help, i wouldn't be asking you people for help. would you tell someone who eats 3000 calories a day that they should get professional help because they eat too much, and that's also clearly an eating disorder (in your opinion)? if someone was eating 3000 calories a day and wanted to lose 50 lbs, you would probably, instead, give them advice on what to take out of their diet and suggest that they take up running. thanks anyway.

Yes, you have recognized an issue and are willing to work on it. You also posted in a public forum where all are able to respond to your thread. It does not seem that people were being malicious to you, only stating a concern and offering a suggestion. (based on the info you provided) There is a ton of fantastic information on this site. If you want additional information, read all of the stickies at the top of the getting started section of the forum, as well as the link I provided up thread.

SummerLovesPhil

What would happen if you stopped counting? You don't have to answer that for me, but give it some thought for yourself. When I was recovering from an eating disorder (yes, really), it was much less important to arrive at an ideal number and more important to keep the number from dominating my every waking hour. I suspect some of that may be true for you. But then, I could also be dead wrong, in which case you can disregard my conjecture with no hard feelings.

Light and love.

Skrib69

i came here for advice on what is a good calorie count for me, and maybe some words of encouragement, based on your experience, that eating calories burned will not result in a weight increase. i have obviously doubled my calorie intake (as i mentioned), because i realized that i was doing something wrong. i am not the only person in this world or in this forum, for that matter, who eats too little or too many calories. and i am obviously willing to increase my calories if i can figure out a good diet and exercise plan that will work for me.

instead of constructive criticism as in, if you are burning 500 calories a day, you can safely eat 1500 calories a day, you tell me to get professional help. if i wanted or thought i needed professional help, i wouldn't be asking you people for help. would you tell someone who eats 3000 calories a day that they should get professional help because they eat too much, and that's also clearly an eating disorder (in your opinion)? if someone was eating 3000 calories a day and wanted to lose 50 lbs, you would probably, instead, give them advice on what to take out of their diet and suggest that they take up running. thanks anyway.

You claim to have eaten around 600 calories for over 2 years and are struggling to reach 1200 because you have a fear of calories. You also claim to have been exercising heavily throughout, and know the calories you burn when exercising down to the minute. I wish I could offer you other advice, but that is mys honest opinion. How would you describe your position?

Dlacenere

Go to the group on here Eat More to Weigh Less - read all of the pushpins at the top and watch the videos - I started out like you (but not quite as low - more like 800-1200) but only for about 6 months - but it was enough time for my metabolism to completely adapt - so I would gain weight if I ate more. I joined this group and added a whole group of friends that eat on average 1500-2800 calories per day, I read a lot and inquired a lot. I gradually raised my calories to a cut of my TDEE and started lifting heavy. Google TDEE calculator, put in your stats and find out how much your TDEE is (maintenance) and then do a 10-20% cut of that. Start increasing your calories 100 per week -or you can do a full metabolism reset and get there faster (it's all in those pushpins) you will probably end up somewhere between 1500-2000. I know that sounds scary - it was for me too, but your mindset will gradually begin to change the more you read and see what others are doing. The only way to change your body composition from skinny fat to lean and muscular is to eat more calories and lift heavy weights regularly - you are making healthy choices on your meal plan and at least you know that you need to change. I weigh a little more than I did back then, but my bodyfat% went from probably 25% to 18% - the more lean body mass you have, the more you will be able to eat. I see people who eat 800-1200 calories per day who lose the same 3 lbs in water/glycogen every week (they think its fat but its not) but won't change what they do for fear of gaining weight. Their body is never going to change until they make these changes. Let me know if I can help in any way and good luck!

amelo84

SummerLoves: Maybe counting calories is not the most important thing, but I joined MFP for the purpose of tracking the foods I eat and the calories I consume. If I didn't count calories, I don't know what would happen - either I would eat too much or too little. I want to know what a good range for me is so that I can achieve my goals - if netting 900 is not high enough, and is causing my body to starve, I would like to know that. If netting 2000 calories is going to cause me to gain weight, I would like to know that as well. I have PCOS and thyroid problems, and I used to be pre-diabetic a few years ago. What I put into my body is very important not only for weight loss (which is extremely difficult for me and has been a struggle my entire life) but for my overall health and the regulation of my various systems. In the last few years, I've not only started exercising regularly but also changed my diet drastically, cutting out carbs, red meats, most dairies, etc. In the past, I have not eaten as much as I should have, but I have slowly been increasing my calories (cleanly) over the last couple months, because I knew that I was not eating enough. Since I've obviously realized I had a problem and have made active steps to change my diet and my life, it's really discouraging to just get a string of "you need professional help." Not everyone who has a problem needs professional help, and the first step is admitting you have a problem and doing something to fix the problem, which is what I have been doing for the past 2 months. I have heard and read for years that the only way to lose weight is to cut back on calories, so I think it's a fairly valid concern that I could gain weight by doubling my calories.

Nomeejerome: Thank you for the link. I will check it out.

amelo84

Thank you, Dlacenere! I really appreciate the advice - and I will definitely check out the group you suggested. I am not as much concerned about losing weight, but, as you mentioned, reducing body fat.

TheCaren

Welcome to the happy world of EDNOS. I would strongly suggest you speak to a dietician and a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. You sound exactly like me earlier this year. I'm still struggling but getting stronger and less fearful of eating every day. But it's a process. Some days I win. Some days I lose.

I'm 44 years old and NEVER thought I'd be admitting to disordered eating. When I started my lifestyle change one year ago today, I had the right attitude and was doing it right. Then, for reasons I don't fully understand, in January/February, my mindset changed. And the closer I got to goal weight, the more I began to panic about weight regain. Finally hit goal weight and became terrified to eat maintenance calories. I thought because I wasn't bingeing or purging I couldn't possibly have an eating disorder. SURPRISE.

It might not be a bad idea to add friends on here who respond to your post with similar stories as ours. People to help you be accountable, and people who understand a mindset that makes absolutely no sense to "normal" people (whatever that means).

I am currently 12+ pounds below my original goal weight (but only seven below my modified goal weight, which was approved by a dietician) and two pounds below what I absolutely swore I wouldn't go below. I'm hanging in there.

I don't want to be an alarmist, because only you and a professional can determine exactly what your situation is. But don't wait. Talk to a professional about your mindset, and be completely honest about where your head is with all of this.

TheCaren

What would happen if you stopped counting? You don't have to answer that for me, but give it some thought for yourself. When I was recovering from an eating disorder (yes, really), it was much less important to arrive at an ideal number and more important to keep the number from dominating my every waking hour. I suspect some of that may be true for you. But then, I could also be dead wrong, in which case you can disregard my conjecture with no hard feelings.

Light and love.

^^^ This. Absolutely.