Spouse support?

letsloseit165

Are you and your spouse on the same type of plan? Myself and my husband arent I am about a month into this lifestyle change (have about 15-20 lbs to goal) and he definitely has about 20-30 lbs he could stand to lose. He watches what he eats occasionally but he says he is happy at his current weight, so I am not going to push him...

The hard part comes at dinner time...I always want to eat healthy and he doesnt always, he gets sick of chicken and fish. I do not think he trying to sabotage me by any means but last night before I got home he started frying onion rings and fish. Now i KNOW I need to adjust to this lifestyle realistically and learn to have boundaries with bad foods, so last night i passed the test. I only had a few of each, but I still feel like he just doesnt understand. I dont always pass the test, he tells me "you've been working so hard, just have a cheat night" but i dont think he realizes that a full on cheat night (which he wants me to have like every other night) could really mess with my mental momentum I have going.

Hes a great guy, I really hate to complain but I was just curious as to what others situations were like? Are you and your spouse on the same eating plan? If not are they still supportive?

Ignaura

my boyfriend is trying to gain 10 pounds while I want to lose much more than that. He eats very healthy and because of that I'm able to stick to my diet and he doesn't feel deprived.... I know that without his support this would be a ver hard journey

Elliesque

My hubbs is super supportive. He doesn't really have weight to lose (maybe 15lbs if that) but he wants to lift and bulk up again. But, he hauls his butt out with me every single day doing power walking/jogging cause I'm on a weigh loss journey. I appreciate that he is into what I'm doing and cares enough to motivate me. Although, I suppose it's good for him too, being that in the end he will have a hotter and more physically fit wife.

FindingAmy77

I do the cooking so he eats what iZ eat. I just add more things to his plate like buttered bread and extra helpings. You know there is a way to have fried like foods but make them in the over. You can do onion rings, French fries and even chicken this way. You need cooking spray and bread crumbs. You can even slip some flaxseed into the mix, he wont be the wiser. My man acts like he is being punished if I were to limit him on his snackies so I plan at least one meal a week and a dessert a night for him. If you do this, then it wont be a problem.. Its a live and learn thing and making small changes each week will make it easier. This has to be a lifestyle change and not a diet or we will get right back where we started. Start looking recipes on youtube and facebook, they have great ideas.

mem50

my hubby is rail thin now. he likes his fried foods to but knows I should not have. I fix what he likes and I fix what I like. if I want a bit of chicken I have it and he is more then welcome to my salad.

he understands and does not say that stuff to me anymore. so yes, he is supportive.

mgobluetx12

I started this lifestyle about a year ago and, while he was overweight, my husband didn't want to change the way he ate. I just started cooking healthy meals and he either ate them or ate peanut butter and jelly every night. But, I made really good stuff: turkey meatballs, cajun chicken pasta, pepperoni puffs, baked potato soup, white chicken chili, etc. Check out websites like Skinny Taste, Emily Bites and Dashing Dish. They have a huge variety of healthy and delicious recipes. My husband eventually caught on to this lifestyle and has since lost 40lbs and we're both a lot happier.

If your husband's not ready to make a change, nothing you say or cook will change his mind, but you can push him in the right direction by showing him that eating healthy doesn't have to be chicken breasts and vegetables every single night.

ashleyShades

I've seen a lot of posts on this subject. I definitely think it helps if we're both on the same page, but we're not. I think for people who don't keep a food journal just tracking EVERYTHING you eat can seem obsessive. I rarely drink pop and once in a while I'll take a drink of his if he's drinking one and he'll joke and say "ohhh are you going to log that?" And I told him it's not funny and that I'm trying very hard to be more accountable. I believe in moderation and so you showed yourself and your husband that you can eat things without over indulging. I just personally keep "trigger" foods out of the house. If there is something you know you can't enjoy in moderation then. don't buy it.

seltzermint555

My fiance has lost well over 100 lb himself in the past decade, and he is still hoping to lose another 10-20 lb eventually (already at a good weight now and super fit). He eats very healthy, and has been an amazing influence on me.

HOWEVER...yeah, he is still a "bad" influence in some small ways. He likes cheat days, and I don't. I'd rather have a cheat ITEM like a donut on Saturday morning and healthy food the rest of the day/weekend. Also, he's an evening snacker and that has rubbed off on me a bit. I don't really like to snack between meals unless i am at a calorie deficiency so sometimes it's a bit frustrating when he pulls out the nuts and hummus and even ice cream at 10 pm.

Overall though he's been a wonderful influence. Especially when it comes to exercise/active lifestyle. He's almost like my coach and/or role model!

billsica

No, were not. We just deal with it.
I just eat something else if I want, or if she cooks I eat every last bite and don't complain about it.

mandasalem

I really understand where you're coming from. While my husband is amazingly supportive and trying to trim/tone up a bit himself, his workday doesn't start until 10, so he skips breakfast, doesn't eat much of a lunch, and dinner + evening snack are his main source of calories. I've learned to adjust my day to match somewhat not because he expects me to or would ever complain about anything I chose to cook, but because it was easier for me psychologically to keep pace with him that way.

He also tends to tell me not to worry as much or not to nitpick measurements, etc., but he's not nagging about it-- just concerned that I'll get obsessive or down on myself. So I can deal with that.

I suggest trying to find a "happy medium" where you can pace some of your days to match with some of his cravings a little, or to incorporate activities together that allow you to do those things. We take a lot of walks, and I've even talked him into doing yoga with me a few times. (I burned more calories laughing than doing poses, I have no doubt.)

Also, do you plan menus for the week in your house? We've found that helps.

Good luck!

ElsaVonMarmalade

No. The wife is naturally thin, 2" shorter than me, and eats at least 1000 calories more than me a day, including a lot of Snickers bars and double chocolate mochas. That said she is supportive of me and we plan and prepare a largely healthy menu each week. We're working opposite shifts right now and while we miss each other, it's actually easier for me to eat healthy without her around to suggest treats :-P

S0nsh1ne

My husb is supportive but does fry foods and I eat or dont. As long as he doesnt bring cookies and cakes in the houde were ok.

zagon_the_ultimate

Lol….spouse support. The only time I get support from my spouse is when i’m picking up her undergarments off the floor when I’m washing the clothes.

HeadsPoppingOutOfCups

My husband would be happy eating Cup a Noodle everyday so even though he has absolutely no weight to lose he's happy with whatever I give him as long as it's not Mac and Cheese or Chicken Noodle. He just gets bigger portions and maybe a bit more of deliciousness in his (like I'll just go ahead and throw a giant handful of cheese in his and carefully measure 1/4 cup for me.)

Stage14

H wasn't destructive to my habits per Se, but he certainly wasn't helping them for the last year. He really needed to eat healthier too, but I didn't push it because I knew it would be pointless. Also, since he did most of the cooking, I was often stuck trying to fit the rest of my day's calories around a less than healthy dinner.

Then he was diagnosed with diabetes a couple of months ago and did a complete 180. We're not on the same journey because he is low carb and trying to lose weight, whereas I am more active and trying to improve my body comp. But life is so much easier now that we are both on a quest for a healthier lifestyle! Now we split the cooking 50/50 and work who cooks what night around my workout schedule. He's a morning person, so he works out then, but now he encourages me to hit the gym after work.

Hildy_J

I think that's cool... he cooks what he wants to eat and you cook what you want to eat.

It'll certainly keep the peace!

Good luck. x

crackur

Yep, we work out with each other every day