18 and never had a boyfriend or dated in my life?

fangmouse

I'm 18 this year and I've never dated in my life. I think the main reason is that my parents sent me to all girls schools which I stayed in when i was 7 until I was 17 and I didn't speak to any guy during that period of time because I was really focused on my studies and such. Even now as I'm in a co-ed school, most of my classmates are girls and even in my extra curricular activities : hockey, girls and guys train separately so I have barely any contact with guys.

Well, I have to say that practically all my friends: girls and guys alike have never dated and everything before (I live in Singapore if you're wondering and in my country we focus a lot on academics and people usually start dating in university). Still, as compared to a western country, this is so embarrassing because everyone has got relationships at a young age. I'll be going to Australia soon for university and I have a feeling that I'll never find anyone because I feel like I'm not good enough

Although I've never had any crushes on guys: i call them eyecandies haha rather than crushes

I was just wondering if anyone has experienced this?

I do want to get married some day but if I'm not going to find anyone then that's not going to happen I guess.

I come from a Chinese heritage by the way!

Chieflrg

The time and guy will come...it overrated at that age anyway.

Most people would be better off for a stable relationship if they took the route you drive on.

Trust me, its only a matter of time. Don't rush anything and enjoy your life when your young. Boys will be flocking to you in no time...

Naomi0504

The time and guy will come...it overrated at that age anyway.

Most people would be better off for a stable relationship if they took the route you drive on.

Trust me, its only a matter of time. Don't rush anything and enjoy your life when your young. Boys will be flocking to you in no time...

I agree with this first sentence especially. There is no reason for you to be embarrassed, really :-)

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

The time and guy will come...it overrated at that age anyway.

Most people would be better off for a stable relationship if they took the route you drive on.

Trust me, its only a matter of time. Don't rush anything and enjoy your life when your young. Boys will be flocking to you in no time...

This is a really sweet response especially coming from such a good looking guy. @Fangmouse, I can't do any better than Chief. It will come in time. No need to rush anything. Boys just screw everything up anyway.

JDubIsShrinking

The time and guy will come...it overrated at that age anyway.

Most people would be better off for a stable relationship if they took the route you drive on.

Trust me, its only a matter of time. Don't rush anything and enjoy your life when your young. Boys will be flocking to you in no time...

THIS!!
I was in your shoes when I was 18 too. Couldn't have said it better myself!

GermanicKnight

I did not have my first real date until I was 21. I look back at it now and am glad for it. I really didn't know myself as a teenager and took those years to define who I was and wanted to be.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
― Albert Einstein

Rachelphobia

Hi, I'm 19 and I know how you feel!

The "relationships' kids have at young ages usually chalk up to be not much more than friendships with people you find attractive. They also don't usually last long and can be very heart breaking! I actually always planned to NOT date until I got out of high school, because I thought it would be best to focus on school and wait until I could find a mature person who would truly care about me. I fell off the bandwagon and honestly nothing good came of it.

I actually think it is very admirable and smart that you have focused on school and worked on yourself first.

Don't worry about not being attracted to anyone. Not everyone is attracted to the same types of people, or even number of people. I am a lot like you where I think some people are physically attractive but never am romantically attracted to people.
--UNTIL I met my current boyfriend, which happened on total accident.

Someday you will find your partner, and it will be when you least expect it! You are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself in the meantime.

kjm_723

You sound smart to me. 18 is very young, no need to be embarrassed. Good luck at university!

Carl01

You are 18,life is not like TV and the movies where there are dates every Friday.
Get sure on what you want in life and relationships and let things unfold on their own.
You literally do have a lifetime ahead of you.

Stump_Likker

You are 18,life is not like TV and the movies where there are dates every Friday.
Get sure on what you want in life and relationships and let things unfold on their own.
You literally do have a lifetime ahead of you.

Words of wisdom.

arathena720

Sounds like your head is screwed on the right way, if you ask me. Maturity will only help your first relationship be even more meaningful. Good for you for waiting!

supplemama

I'm 18 this year and I've never dated in my life.

LOL! I don't mean to be unkind but you're only 18. The way you phrased that sort of implies to me that you think 18 is some old age or something and also that you should have been dating sooner. You are fine. I didn't allow my kids to dat until they were 16. My oldest started dating right before she turned 17 and my next child didn't date until he was 18 and a senior in high school. He is now a freshman in college and knows plenty of people who've never dated. While it is true that plenty of teens date and hook up and get in relationships, it is also true that there are plenty who don't.

Relax. You are not an anomaly. You will date in time, there is no hurry.

ashandstuff

I feel you. I’m 23 and have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend. Try not to fret about it, your still very young in terms of starting a love life. Focus on you and growing into the person you want to be!

:]

Nothings holding you back, do things you never have to find fulfillment in other aspects of your being.

ktrn0312

Oh my, you have your whole life ahead of you. I echo a lot of the stated sentiment. I was raised in a strict Caribbean household that stressed education first. No dating until you are at University. I had my 1st boyfriend at age 21. Met Mr Right at age 23 & married him at age 26. Blessed with one child & have been going strong for 20yrs now. Use this time to focus on your dreams & aspirations. Love and that special someone will come your way especially when you least expect it.

fangmouse

I don't know, I guess the main reason why I'm worried is because I fear that I'll never meet anyone who loves me and I love him back somehow. I feel like no guy ever looks at me or is interested in me. Which is really sad

digitalbill

I don't know, I guess the main reason why I'm worried is because I fear that I'll never meet anyone who loves me and I love him back somehow. I feel like no guy ever looks at me or is interested in me. Which is really sad

Let me tell you something.
You will attract the men (not boys) soon enough.
And, as you get a little bit older, the kind of guys you will be attracted to and the kind of guys who will be attracted to you will be wonderful.
Don't rush into things.
It will all happen soon enough and you will look back at today and laugh.

emergencytennis

I am the mother of Australian teenagers and have friends with children at uni in Australia.

Don't think that all the kids at uni will have dated in high school. Some will have, some won't have and in Australia no-one cares either way.

GingerLolita

I'm 19 and live in America, but many of my friends haven't dated anyone either! Some people will think it's weird, but people will always judge you. I live with my boyfriend of 4 years, and people have really mixed reactions to that too. When you're ready, you'll find someone. Don't feel like you're on any kind of deadline. To be honest, it would've been easier for me to not have met my boyfriend in high school and be dating in college. You're free to make all your own decisions, so take this time to be as independent and selfish as you want! When you find that other person, you'll be glad to have spent so much time on your own.

SmileCozYouCan

I'm 19 myself, and I've also never dated or had a boyfriend Its not a shame at all. When the right time comes, everything will work out just right for you.

rml_16

Still, as compared to a western country, this is so embarrassing because everyone has got relationships at a young age.

That really isn't true.

shirtswiththumbholes

The time and guy will come...it overrated at that age anyway.

Most people would be better off for a stable relationship if they took the route you drive on.

Trust me, its only a matter of time. Don't rush anything and enjoy your life when your young. Boys will be flocking to you in no time...

Exactly what he said! Relax and enjoy being young.

I don't know, I guess the main reason why I'm worried is because I fear that I'll never meet anyone who loves me and I love him back somehow. I feel like no guy ever looks at me or is interested in me. Which is really sad

Darling, let me tell you something. When I was in high school, I never got asked to the prom or any other formal or dance. Nobody ever gave me a second look. When boys gave me a second look, it was to bully me and tell me what an ugly nerd I was. In college, I really grew into myself and got some confidence, and that's when I met my future husband. You're only 18! Believe me, it will happen for you - when you least expect it!

BattleTaxi

I know that right now it can seem overwhelmingly lonely and frustrating; at least for me it was at that age.

Don't worry, though! You will meet someone! Don't let the media and all the garbage on TV etc tell you what age is appropriate for dating and getting married. Everyone is at a different age and a different point in their lives when they find that companion.

It's not something that is as textbook as nutrition. :P

Keep showin them pearly whites and LOVE yourself!

KristysLosing

Still, as compared to a western country, this is so embarrassing because everyone has got relationships at a young age.

That really isn't true.

I agree...this isn't a universally true statement. Some people have had many relationships...many have had none. I understand the feeling of no one notices or looks at me...but I met my husband when I was 22. You'll do fine. Don't rush it...that's a good way to possibly end up in the wrong relationship. (I've done that too) :flowerforyou:

Holly_Roman_Empire

I am now 28 years old, and I wasn't allowed to date until I was in college (19 years old). Even then, I didn't really date anyone because by that time, I had built up such high standards for the potential boyfriend. It's not that big a deal to not date in high school. If you own it like it's because you CHOOSE not to date, you will feel less self-conscious about it.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

Put up a profile pic and hang out in this forum...

Problem solved.

_Waffle_

Well, I have to say that practically all my friends: girls and guys alike have never dated and everything before (I live in Singapore if you're wondering and in my country we focus a lot on academics and people usually start dating in university).

Sunny island, set in the sea. I used to live there for a bit. Nice place but it is a busy lifestyle.

Don't focus on relationships. Find things and events you'd like to do. Take up surfing, go hiking, learn how to longboard. Just have fun and the relationships will come to you all on their own.

Poods71

The time and guy will come...it overrated at that age anyway.

Most people would be better off for a stable relationship if they took the route you drive on.

Trust me, its only a matter of time. Don't rush anything and enjoy your life when your young. Boys will be flocking to you in no time...

Definitely this.

Don't worry about it, I didn't start dating till I was late teens early twenties. There's no rush, just enjoy yourself and the right person will come along when you least expect it

rml_16

Still, as compared to a western country, this is so embarrassing because everyone has got relationships at a young age.

That really isn't true.

I agree...this isn't a universally true statement. Some people have had many relationships...many have had none. I understand the feeling of no one notices or looks at me...but I met my husband when I was 22. You'll do fine. Don't rush it...that's a good way to possibly end up in the wrong relationship. (I've done that too) :flowerforyou:

I'll also add that just because you don't think they're looking or noticing doesn't mean they aren't.\

When I was young, I NEVER thought guys noticed me. But a few times I was out with my mom or a friend and they would comment about the men passing by and looking at me. I really did not see it. I notice it now that I'm older, but back then I never did.

And a few guys from high school have told me recently that they had crushes on me then but were afraid to approach me. I almost always dated older and ended up dating one guy who had been a friend for a while first, so it grew into a (short) relationship. So many high school boys are just not very sure of themselves and are afraid of the rejection, so they don't try.

It does get easier as people get older and gain confidence and life experience.

rjmudlax13

It's not a big deal. You definitely should not be embarrassed. You are only 18. I was in a similar situation as yours but the male version. I went to an all boys Catholic school and never really dated anyone (went to prom with a friend). When I went to college (uni) I started dating a lot more. Your situation is a lot more common than you think.

Alehmer

I"m right there with you, went on 1 date before college in my senior year, didn't have a real GF till college. I know you feel like your odd and out of place because of that, but there's a lot more people like you out there than you realize.

We all see the world colored by popular culture, TV and movies, and it seems like everyone else in the world is out dating, partying, and getting laid. You also notice the couples because it's on your mind, but think about how many people you know are single, have been for some time, or have never been anything but? It's just that mental filter at work again, looking for what we expect or are worried about.

It will happen when it's right for you, no reason to rush it.

My only regret is that I hadn't been through a breakup before my very first, very serious, and in the end very toxic relationship so I could have known enough to jump ship when I should have. But as long as you respect yourself, and recognize that young relationships typically come and go, it's all good.

Good luck!

Cavy1234

No worries. It was rare when any of the high school couples stayed together after school when I was your age. Concentrate on your education, and one day your special someone will pop into your life. I didn't even kiss a boy until college...but when I did, he turned out to be perfect for me, so I ended up marrying him. We're celebrating 21 years of marriage this December. :happy: