GTFIH for TheRealOrson's original limericks

TheRealOrson

Got bored so started coming up with a few limericks which I posted on my profile.

Decided they were worth sharing here:

Enjoy!


There was a young man from LA
Who liked to swim naked each day
But when in the pool, it was often too cool
So his bits would shrivel away


There once was a beautiful gal
who frequented MyFitnessPal
she'd chat to the guys and tell them all lies
then sail on down the canal.


There was an old man from Kuwait
who wanted to find a new mate
so he took his sweet time, found a girl who was fine
because good things come to those who wait


There was an old broad from New York
who'd never seen the likes of a spork
Although, she'd seen hoards, of various swords
Especially the ones made of pork


There was a young chick from San Fran
who looked a lot like a man
so she would never go, to The Castro
without a good escape plan.




Feel free to comment or add your own (originals only)

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

Love these! Still too early for me to be clever, so maybe later. Great job sir! :drinker:

Stump_Likker

Very nice. Mine are all dirty

mag131

Very nice. Mine are all dirty

All the best limericks are. Do share. :drinker:

TheRealOrson

Yeah....dirty limericks are not only welcomed but encouraged

Stump_Likker

I get in trouble on here...don't wanna push my luck

TheRealOrson

There was a hot babe called nutter
Who's mind was always in the gutter
She wouldn't post rhymes
Cos too many times
The mods had threatened to cut her.

karl39x

Here I stand, trying to piss,
thinking of the b*tch who gave me this.
But, if she were here, and I was well,
I'd catch it again, sure as hell!

Stump_Likker

There was a hot babe called nutter
Who's mind was always in the gutter
She wouldn't post rhymes
Cos too many times
The mods had threatened to cut her.

And I have found my new MFP crush! Lol

I'm working on one for you.

TheRealOrson

I shall eagerly await

Stump_Likker

To that cute young fellow from Perth
Who gives me my fantasies worth
Think Australia is hot?
You'd like what I've got
Just head over here to my turf.

BTW, you're my crush-in-waiting. Can't replace my main one.

TheRealOrson

To that cute young fellow from Perth
Who gives me my fantasies worth
Think Australia is hot?
You'd like what I've got
Just head over here to my turf.

BTW, you're my crush-in-waiting. Can't replace my main one.

That is spectacular!!!!

Happy to wait in the wings LOL

TheRealOrson

So come on in young and old
Don't be afraid to be bold
This isn't a trap
If your limerick's crap
You sure as hell will be told

43932452

You are awesome Orson!! Nutter, loved yours too!! )))

londonboyben

there was a guy named paul
he always acted a fool
when he got drunk, he acted a punk
and always fell off his stool

there was a lady named flo
who was a virgin you know
and then one day, she gave it away
for 9 months her belly did grow

was going for 3 but took me ages to come up with 2 so gave up

TheRealOrson

Haha good job mate

Gr8ChangesAhead

Hey, hey
It's the1st of May
Outdoor screwing starts today

TheRealOrson

Sometimes a girl needs a wax
When the fiersome jungle attacks
They spread it on hot
For the feint-hearted it's not
But it makes for more edible snacks

TheRealOrson

I really didn't think this thread
Would end up so very dead
It seemed a blast
But it's failing fast
Gonna post junk pics instead

43932452

Bump!! I ♥ this thread .. I haven't written rhyme in so very
long but once I wake more I'll try and give it a shot. Please
don't stop, Orson.

TheRealOrson

Oh thank-you miss N2couture
Your heart is so very pure
Thanks for the bump
It made my heart jump
For my boredom, I find this a cure.

43932452

♥it!

TheRealOrson

So I near the end of the day
Worked hard and earned all my pay
Bumping this thread
To amuse my own head
That's really there is to say

Satiable

Must not let this thread die!

For TheRealOrson, with thanks for the giggles:

The test of an Orson that's real
Can't be done by taste, scent or feel
You must look for pics
Of a t-shirt that splits
When he shows off his biceps with zeal.

TheRealOrson

Must not let this thread die!

For TheRealOrson, with thanks for the giggles:

The test of an Orson that's real
Can't be done by taste, scent or feel
You must look for pics
Of a t-shirt that splits
When he shows off his biceps with zeal.

Talk about bringin' it!!!

Satiable

Talk about bringin' it!!!

:blushing: Aww, thanks! Yours are still better, though. Mine needs more cowbell! I mean, more practice!

*ahem*

I certainly blushed and batted
My eyes when TheRealOrson flattered
An off-the-cuff rhyme
(took next to no time)
Now all of my thoughts are scattered!

C'mon, MFP, come play!

TheRealOrson

You can never have too much cowbell

KinoM

There was a proud gent called RealOrson
Who got all on the forum discoursin'
With limerick asides
That split all their sides
So that then they all begged "You got more son?"

TheRealOrson

There was a proud gent called RealOrson
Who got all on the forum discoursin'
With limerick asides
That split all their sides
So that then they all begged "You got more son?"

^^^ This.....

......this is the guy....right there.

TheRealOrson

There once was a busty young lass
Who had a small problem with gas
The men would all perv
Then promptly they'd swerve
Once they got a whiff of her *kitten*

KinoM

Thanks. I've been sweating bullets here thinking I killed your thread!