Non-Food Coping Mechanisms and Rewards - Halp?

candylilacs

Agree with many of these, although I don't view these as "rewards" but how you live a life!

I have gotten a few T-shirts with phrases from Marianne Williamson on them. A pink, metal water bottle (plastic isn't good for you, apparently) a yoga mat, real yoga clothes, new running shoes (three pairs! and two are *amazing*) and three new bras. Oh, I think I love the bras most of all! I did not have any decent push-up bras and it wasn't until I went to brastop.com I found a whole bunch in my size that didn't make me feel like I had old lady boobs, or at least a bra for old ladies.

I also bought a couple of nice shirts and a pair of jeans that fit really well, but now I have to have a belt. Occasionally I do buy shojo (Japanese anime for girls) and watch DVDs. Netflix is also good for this.

Play miniature golf, go on a ferris wheel, gokart, whatever -- anything that gets you moving and making memories is a great reward.

rainbow_Moonbeam

I don't yet have a long term reward (maybe smaller clothes) but to reward myself for excercising I bought star stickers and made a chart. 5000 steps in one day means a little star, 10000 means a big star. If I ran/did couch to 5k, I get a gold star. If it was just walking, I get a silver star. My chart is next to my bed and it's nice to get the instant gratification. It also means that I have to excercise - if I don't, I'll have a gap! My 13 day streak would be ruined! Also, if I do loads of steps I can get multiple stars! It worked when I was a child, it works for me now.

anemoneprose

also, maybe move closer to work if that's something you can do, horrible commutes are the worst

Raevyns

Four hour daily commute? NO!!!! Don't do it. Change your job, quit your job - anything. That is NOT good for your well being. Do whatever it takes... move house, downsize house - sell the dog... ANYTHING!

...Yanno. You may have a point there. Lots of my stress is the severe lack of time I have, because most of it is spent at work or commuting. Food as stress relief is quick. Hrm.

Raevyns

Everyone is giving you great ideas about rewards, so I'll avoid repetition.
I just wanted to add that you might want to try plan ahead to avoid having to make eating decisions when you're stressed and tired (because for sure, you'll go for the quick, easy and comforting). I'm now cooking big batches of vegetables, a ton of quinoa, etc on the weekend and decide when we'll eat what. That way, I avoid the urge to stop at a fast food place coming back home at 9pm and I'm not anxious about having to decide anything else...for the day. I also pack snacks that I can eat in the car.
Good luck to you!

I'm working on that actually. We did a meal plan for the week for the first time this week. This might remove some of that decision fatigue as I'm the one in charge of meal planning and cleanup in my household.

Fingers crossed?

Raevyns

Start off with more nutritious food options, then if you want you can switch to non foods. Berries and yoghurt, dark chocolate (antioxidants!), a homemade fruit smoothie... hot chocolate?

Id reward myself with watching tv or a movie, a bath or long shower or purchasing new music or art supplies. Sometimes I reward myself by going to sleep early! Ha!

Ooh, early bedtimes....Hrrrrmmm...

Raevyns

I try to deal with anxiety via exercise and sunshine. An hour walk does more for me than a pound of chocolate.
Hard days end with cooking. Something about meticulously washing, cutting and boiling in the quiet of my kitchen soothes me. Not exactly non-food, but it beats the drive-thru.

Does exercise really help you with your anxiety? I'd love to get off the meds I'm on.

SkinnyFatAlbert

Why does everyone need a "reward?" Are we 5 years old? Do it for yourself. Rewards are for people who are just in it to hit marks and stop when those marks are hit. Commit to yourself and your goals and just do it.

Mr_Starr

-- many ideas above are excellent so i won't repeat.

so in addition...

1) Art and Music: In last couple years i have taken evening pottery, oil painting, water color classes as a reward. Now I am learning the guitar.

2) Making an effort to go out and meet up and hang with old friends. Even if it is quick break in the middle of the day for a coffee or tea (w/o sweeteners). Phone calls and texts don't always are not so satisfying for me. Better to meetup with some friends and chat, hike, walk the parks, play a board game, etc.

Contrarian

I reward myself with books and music.

ThickMcRunFast

Daily - bubble bath, or a new kindle book. Maybe just an hour on the couch with my aromatherapy eye-mask on in the dark.
As a weekend thing - mani/pedis, a massage. Something fun from Groupon.

Once a month stuff - if I am going out to something, splurge on a rent the runway dress or nice shoes and make up. Maybe I'll get new running clothes or a piece of gym equipment I wanted.

All are generally things that focus on me and my enjoyment, and make me feel good about myself

rnroadrunner

I have to commute to work also for 2hrs each way. one of the things I have done is make a deal with my spouse to do all the cooking on the weekends and she cooks during the week. Having to come home and cook after that long commute is too stressful. How long is their commute? Just saying. Also I always pack fruit for the ride home to knock off the edge.While were at it I work out in the morning so it is done and over. Good Luck.

Raevyns

running seems to help me relieve stress. Getting p***ed at something, then taking out my frustration on the upcoming hill or long straightaway feels pretty dern good.

As for non-food rewards, perhaps a new piece of exercise gear? New shoes, some weightlifting gloves, a new dry-fit tee, things like that. Works pretty well for the wife and me. So far, at least

Yanno, if I didn't have arthritic knees I would so take up running. Everyone and their mom is running these days and i remember how it used to feel to run before my knees busted. That second wind that made me feel like I was flying...I can see how that would work well.

Raevyns

What do you do after a hard day or during a anxiety-spiking week?

Tai Chi - Its my reset button
Listen to music and dance crazy around my living room, so I get loose
Lie on my floor and Sing really loudly
Stomp around
Go for a walk
Go swimming
Blog/Journal
Meditate
Pray
Burn some sage
Have a cup of tea
Take a shower and imagine all of the stress going down the drain
Put lotion on my feet
Pluck my eyebrows and the stray dark hair in my woman stache' lil bastids.
Read something meaningful - even if it's just a quote
Wrap up in a blanket and comfort myself
Call a friend
Watch something funny or silly on you tube
File my fingernails
Make it about me
Stretch
Clean my car
Go outside and cloud watch
Go fishing - rare nowadays tho
Do the dishes - it relaxes me
Check my attitude if it needs adjusting I change it except PMS times I just ride through that as it comes
I try to be mindful, sometimes I'm good at it, sometimes not so much

How do you reward yourself for the little accomplishments?
Rewards for the little stuff, I do a gratitude journal
I realize that I'm frickin awesome and tell someone face to face what I did that I'm proud of.
The things I do to manage stress from the list above are all rewards to me - I keep it simple
I buy myself cut flowers, but it's because I love & appreciate myself and how far I've gotten in life
Go to a concert or where there is live music

LIST. I LOVE LISTS.

Raevyns

Sometimes I engage in avoidance activities (internet, lol, this place).

Best planned relaxation (imo):
- yoga: great for those who can do it, it just feels amazing. a class is best because you've paid, signed up, have to go
- swimming at night. forces you to take deep breaths. (the yoga does too)

Chewing gum for immediate oral fix (my other choice in that direction has been smoking )

GUM! I need to remember that one! BRILLIANT!

bridgie101

I have some deeply-ingrained habits that are quite common, but desperately need changing.

Like many I grew up in a culture where treats and rewards were food. Good grades equaled ice cream, a good concert was a dinner out. Along the same lines, food was set as a coping mechanism. A hard day was rewarded with tea and my favorite cookies, or a whole bottle of soda.

Unsurprisingly, these are still my methods of self-soothing and self-rewarding, even though I'm no longer a puckish little thing. (Well, I might still be puckish, but I'm not little!)

When I'm wracked with stress and decision fatigue I grab chocolate. After a long day and an extended commute, I make myself a cocktail and decide that I can blow my calories during dinner. If I check something off my to-do list, I get sushi and sake.

This needs to change, stat.

I need examples because all I can see after a hard day at work is that beer and that sammich. Mustering the reserves to try and be creative takes energy that I usually don't have. I need references. Ideas. A brain-crutch for the hard days.

So...Halp?

What do you do after a hard day or during a anxiety-spiking week?

How do you reward yourself for the little accomplishments?

HOW I MINE FOR LIFESTYLE CHANGE!?

1. I fantasise, not about the beer and sandwich, but about the stirfry I'm going to make tonight, and the veges. it takes so little time to make, I recommend it. That and curry.

2. I tell myself, when I think about chocolate and lollies (I have issues with chocolate and lollies) "I'll have it later" I trick myself into thinking I'm still going to get it, just not now. When? Well, when I've finished my diet of course. In moderation so I don't end up a big fat heffalump again.

3. I used to think I had it tough. Now I'm a solo mother working long hours lugging ladders around, climbing trees, pruning or whatever. Boy. Now I really DO have it hard. I used to find life difficult with kids in the house. By jiminy, working 14 hr days during harvest, coming home, still having to cook dinner and do the laundry? It stuns me that I manage. It blows my tiny mind. 10 yrs ago I would not have considered it possible. So when you find yourself feeling like it's all a bit tough, think about starving biafrans walking 15k a day to get 2 litres of worm-infested water. I know it's trite, but it's good.

4. Do more exercise. Even 1/2 hr extra. Just to prove that you CAN do it and show the monkey on your back who's boss.

5. "Run fat *****, run!" Read it. Very funny. Very effective.

Raevyns

also, maybe move closer to work if that's something you can do, horrible commutes are the worst

Aye. I explain away the commute as it gives me time to read, but on the days that I get a ride home and two hours becomes 45 minutes (I take public transit) my energy levels are through the roof.

Raevyns

I have to commute to work also for 2hrs each way. one of the things I have done is make a deal with my spouse to do all the cooking on the weekends and she cooks during the week. Having to come home and cook after that long commute is too stressful. How long is their commute? Just saying. Also I always pack fruit for the ride home to knock off the edge.While were at it I work out in the morning so it is done and over. Good Luck.

My partner works from home, but he does all of the laundry and dishes and a lot of the incidental cleaning, so dinner is on me every night.

Bubblywendy

I don't yet have a long term reward (maybe smaller clothes) but to reward myself for excercising I bought star stickers and made a chart. 5000 steps in one day means a little star, 10000 means a big star. If I ran/did couch to 5k, I get a gold star. If it was just walking, I get a silver star. My chart is next to my bed and it's nice to get the instant gratification. It also means that I have to excercise - if I don't, I'll have a gap! My 13 day streak would be ruined! Also, if I do loads of steps I can get multiple stars! It worked when I was a child, it works for me now.

This sounds like a good idea