Dating and Keeping Fit

chelseagirlfl
chelseagirlfl Posts: 207 Member
in Chit-Chat
I just want honest opinions about this, I feel like maybe I need to not think about it so much, let him do as he pleases and not say anything to him...but, I find myself biting my tongue.

I just recently started dating again. I have met some nice guys and I am actually seeing someone on a regular basis. The problem is he is not as health aware as I am. He likes to snack and eat not so healthy. He is supportive and keeps Vegetarian food choices around his place for me. But, he himself eats sweets and candy and ice cream. I don't mind a treat once in a while..but, I feel like maybe I should look for someone that is going to eat healthy like me on a more regular basis. I find it hard to watch him eat a bag of twizzlers or a large ice cream sundae and not think negatively and want to say something to him about his snacking and eating choices.

I have not said anything to him, except that when he offers... I say I try not to eat dairy or processed sugar on a regular basis.

Replies

  • Mobilemuscle
    Mobilemuscle Posts: 945 Member
    worst mistake I ever made when I was a competitive bodybuilder was dating a normie...it just doesnt work if you are hardcore about your training and diet

    normies dont get it
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    There is nothing wrong with moving on and trying to find someone who fits your lifestyle.
  • kaydeedoubleu1
    kaydeedoubleu1 Posts: 567 Member
    I feel exactly the same! the guy i am seeing is the same-eats pizza and takeaway almost everyday! he isnt big but jeez he will be soon haha! its hard not saying anything-he is an adult and can make his own choices i dont want to be the girl that comes in and tries to change and control him. in saying that he is very supportive of my choices, so maybe best to just respect him and his choices and remember that he is his own person and is quite capable of making his own choices. it can be hard though.
  • chelseagirlfl
    chelseagirlfl Posts: 207 Member
    why does that make me feel guilty? I find that around him I don't work out or eat as clean as I usually do..and he is a great guy..BUT
  • kaydeedoubleu1
    kaydeedoubleu1 Posts: 567 Member
    maybe try and bring it up with him, but put the spin on yourself so he doesnt feel as though you are attacking him. Say you are concerned about your poorer choices when you are around him- he might be willing to change-if not, i agree with the guys above. my last relationship lead me to gaining so much weight because the guy was unhealthy and that influenced me.
  • _Z3sty_
    _Z3sty_ Posts: 120
    why does that make me feel guilty? I find that around him I don't work out or eat as clean as I usually do..and he is a great guy..BUT

    From past experience I don't date people that doesn't share the same lifestyle as me.
  • LMick1986
    LMick1986 Posts: 431
    This will become a MUCH bigger issue if you keep at it this way. I've seen soooo many posts on here about spouses having these feelings. If you can't accept him at this stage, I personally think it will only get worse over time. I'd find someone more on your page.
  • slrose
    slrose Posts: 164 Member
    but probably not the great guy for you. if you are already feeling guilt and disappointment in your own performance, you would probably be best moving on.

    when you meet the one, things work out to making sense and you know they are the one
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    My husband and I always have different goals when it comes to our daily diet. I'm trying to lose, while he is trying to gain. I can be difficult when I have to count calories and have to eat salads while he can and does eat whatever he wants. But ultimately, he is responsible for his choices and I am responsible for mine. If he ends up eating some ice cream at the end of the day and I can't because I don't have the calories, it is what it is. He doesn't have to sacrifice or change his habits because I'm trying to achieve my own goal. It does take more will power for me sometimes, but that's ok.

    It sounds like the guy you're dating is trying to be accommodating for you by keeping special foods for you in his home. If you like him and want to be with him, be stronger and don't give in to the temptations. If he isn't overweight and don't have health problems he's probably fine eating the way he does. If you honestly can't resist the tempting foods and can't fit them into your calories, and if you can't exercise because you're with him, you either need get some willpower or you need to move on. Personally, I'd choose willpower over breaking up with someone I liked.
  • ziggiezambi
    ziggiezambi Posts: 253
    My BF eats whatever he pleases. It really doesn't bother me half the time I let him finish what I can't eat or don't want. I eat whatever as long as I'm in my calorie range and stay active and it works.

    It does sound like he is trying to accommodate your lifestyle. If you think he's someone you want to be with maybe try overlooking his? Relationships are a two way street and everyone has flaws is his ones you can learn to live with? I think that is something you have to decide on your own.
  • chelseagirlfl
    chelseagirlfl Posts: 207 Member
    My BF eats whatever he pleases. It really doesn't bother me half the time I let him finish what I can't eat or don't want. I eat whatever as long as I'm in my calorie range and stay active and it works.

    It does sound like he is trying to accommodate your lifestyle. If you think he's someone you want to be with maybe try overlooking his? Relationships are a two way street and everyone has flaws is his ones you can learn to live with? I think that is something you have to decide on your own.

    He is pretty great otherwise, He just does not motivate me to work out at all. But, you are right. I think the good outweighs the bad...
    I just maybe need to make more me time..cause around him...I am just not into working out.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Work on you and the right guy will come. If you don't think you are mentally able to separate your lifestyle from the way you see them then it will be an issue. Takes a lot to value people for their positives and let their perceived negatives slide.

    I'm always impressed by couples who are opposites, cause they achieved a higher level of love in the appreciation of each other as individuals.
  • JamieH1984
    JamieH1984 Posts: 86 Member
    Maybe you can motivate yourself AND him by going on unconventional dates like hiking or rock climbing. Maybe even through out some activity you've wanted to try but haven't and see if he's interested in tagging along. You never now you might find he's been keeping quiet but really wants to learn at least a little bit about your lifestyle. Good luck!
  • ziggiezambi
    ziggiezambi Posts: 253
    My BF eats whatever he pleases. It really doesn't bother me half the time I let him finish what I can't eat or don't want. I eat whatever as long as I'm in my calorie range and stay active and it works.

    It does sound like he is trying to accommodate your lifestyle. If you think he's someone you want to be with maybe try overlooking his? Relationships are a two way street and everyone has flaws is his ones you can learn to live with? I think that is something you have to decide on your own.

    He is pretty great otherwise, He just does not motivate me to work out at all. But, you are right. I think the good outweighs the bad...
    I just maybe need to make more me time..cause around him...I am just not into working out.

    I think having you time is good as well. When he's hanging with the boys or doing other activities do your work outs. You can also see if maybe he'd like to go hiking with you or plan days to go out together and do some fun activities. You can bond and both get in exercise. :)

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