Losing 160+ lbs, for the second time in my life. (Long)
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Jonslife
Posts: 19 Member
I want to preface this by saying that this is a very long post. I started to write a post introducing myself, and I just kept on writing. I didn't mean for it to be so long, but I just couldn't stop. I've never done something like this before and it feels surprisingly good to have written all this. I am hoping to make some new friends here that I can not only learn from but share my experiences with. Thank you for taking the time to read.
Hi everyone,
My name is Jon, and I'm 31. I love food, I love the tastes and textures, I love the way I feel engaged and excited when I think about foods, and I love the way I feel while I eat them.
I love my life, my girlfriend, and my friends and family more.
At least I want too.
I was never really heavy when I was younger, I was active. I played Ice Hockey and worked at an ice rink. I enjoyed the gym and power-lifting. I loved to fish and camp.
I was 21 when life happened, and instead of reaching out for help or support I made the worst choice in my life, I used food as a crutch. As I fed my feelings I gained weight and with each pound my life shrank around me. There was never a moment, a conscious choice that I made, to stop trying to live, but I think as I ate myself into oblivion I created this illusion of a life that no longer existed. I told myself I was happy, content, satisfied, while each day brought me further and further away from who I am.
I'm great at telling a story, great at telling people what they want to hear. Great at telling myself what I want to hear.
Great at lying to myself.
In 2007 I weighed around 425 lbs. I hardly left the house, except to buy food. I avoided old friends and family, made up excuses. I remember missing a family member’s funeral because I knew I had no suit to fit in. But every time something would remind me about my weight I would create a story in my head allowing myself to avoid facing any sort of reality.
Until reality hit me in the chest.
I'll never forget the moment. I was sitting at the computer eating 7 layer bean dip, playing an online video game (how cliché is that), when I had a sharp pain in my chest. It was this dull, burning ache that felt deep inside me. It hurt to move my arm or breathe.
"Oh God I’m having a heart attack"
I wasn't working, I had no insurance, and my money was dwindling. I wish I could say this is why I didn't call 911, but the real reason, was because I was embarrassed by my weight. I remember thinking, maybe it would be easier if I just died.
My heart began to beat rapidly, I was having shivers then the sweats, I tried taking a hot shower which just made me dizzy. I laid in bed for hours unable to fall asleep, feeling my heart beat out of my chest.
I was scared. I was, for the first time in my life, scared. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die.
At 4am I called my parents. I remember my father answering the phone and wondering what was wrong. I told him everything. I told him how I had no job, that all I did was eat. I told him that I had never graduated college like they thought. I told him how everything that they knew about me was a lie.
And it turned out to be a pulled muscle.
My father, the amazing person that he is, came down that morning and took me to the doctor's. My blood pressure was elevated, my EKG was normal, I had a pulled pectoral muscle. The years of working out had given me a large pectorals, they were shrinking, the fat was growing, and the weight of the fatty tissue was pulling the muscle.
I'm going to live, maybe.
After some long discussions with my parents, they and I learned a few things about my life.
1. I had dropped out of college after I gained the weight. This was for two main reasons. I couldn't get around campus because of my weight, and I couldn't fit into the desks on campus for class.
2. I hated what I had become
3. If I didn't make some changes, I would die an early death
4. I was lonely, depressed, and scared.
It was time for a change.
I moved back into my parents’ house, enrolled at the local community college, joined a local gym and also enrolled at the John's Hopkins Weight Management Center. (http://www.jhsph.edu/research/centers-and-institutes/weight-management-center/)
Everything changed. I began to exercise, and eat a diet of 880 calories a day. There was such a feeling of satisfaction and motivation when I saw that first weight loss. Every week I would go back and weigh in and every week I was losing weight. It was great!
I was proud of myself.
I would talk about my weight loss to everyone. People that had known me heavy were amazed to see me, people that hadn’t known me were amazed to see old pictures. 160 pounds. That’s another human being.
I had won, my battle was over, I am me again.
I went backpacking, I went kayaking, I spent my free time fishing, and hiking, and bowling. I even went ice skating again. I was eating normal foods again and I had lost 160 pounds. I didn’t need the weight clinic anymore, I had this under control.
I was healthy and fit.
I was naive.
After I graduated from Community College, I decided to finish out my bachelor’s at a 4 year. I moved to go to school, and got a house with some friends. I became busy at school, made new friends, was having a great social life. The party scene wasn’t really for me, especially being older, so I got a job at the main college bar in town as a bouncer. It was a lot of fun, but at a big expense. My sleep suffered, I didn’t do any other activities, I ate on the job.
Freshman 15 turned into senior 200.
I always say “somehow” I gained 220 pounds in two and a half years. I say that “I didn’t even see the gain”. But that isn’t true. I chose not to see it. How could I admit to myself that I was putting myself back into the same situation I had gotten myself out of? Looking back, If I had just continued to step on the scale, and force myself to see my weight gain, I might have headed it off, instead once I saw 300, I never stepped on a scale again.
As the pant and shirt sizes went up, I was able to lie to myself about the actual weight. 2x, 3x, 4x, “oh I’ve only gained about 50 pounds.” 5x, 60. 6x, 60. It’s amazing how we can avoid the things we don’t want to face.
More like 214 pounds.
To you that number may seem shocking, and it should be to anyone. Except perhaps anyone that’s lost a significant amount of weight. Most people that lose weight deal in single or double digit numbers. You see diet ads, or weight loss/ fitness ads, they usually target the 10-30 pound range. Those numbers are nothing to me. I had lost 160 pounds, 10 pounds means nothing too me.
The mistake is, every pound matters.
The mindset of not caring about individual pounds or 10 pounds or even 20, is the biggest mistake I have made. When I first saw the weight gain of a couple pounds, I disregarded it. If I had ate a little less for a few days, lost the extra pounds, and kept weighing myself, I wouldn’t have gained 214 pounds.
I could have faced reality, instead I embraced complacency.
People gain weight for a myriad of reasons, I would venture there are as many reasons that they lose it. The problem about losing weight is that it involves sacrifice. People like myself don’t eat to fuel, we eat to feel. We eat because we like the pleasure derived from taste and smell. We eat because it entertains us when we are bored. We eat because it comforts us when we are sad or stressed. Then we continue to eat because it is a habit, a behavior, an addiction.
To change, to lose weight we have to sacrifice food.
It seems like such a simple statement, “we have to sacrifice food,” but it is the hardest thing I have ever done, or have to do again. Food is everywhere, it’s entwined within our social groups, it’s all over commercials, and it’s everywhere you drive. No matter what you do, you are constantly reminded of food.
The problem with sacrifice is motivation.
Something has to make the sacrifice worth it. If you aren’t ready mentally, if you haven’t fully committed, then you can’t make the sacrifice.
I am making the sacrifice. For myself, for my future, and for the people that matter to me.
The last time I gained the weight, my world shrunk. This is no different now. I can’t fit in desks at school and I can’t maintain any sort of long distance. I injured my knee and my back hurts when I walk. Perhaps the worst is I hide from social events again. I don’t like to go out, because I feel like the fat person.
I am lucky to have two amazing parents that have always supported me and a girlfriend that is the love of my life. I met her two years ago and have loved her ever since. That she continued to support me and love me as I put on the weight means more to me then I could ever put in words.
In many ways, being extremely overweight is incredibly selfish.
I limit my social interactions because I am embarrassed about myself or that people see my girlfriend with “that fat guy.” I run the risk of injury or weight related diseases, things that are preventable by weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Sure they would affect me, but they would also make me a burden on those around me. I can’t ask the love of my life to marry me, to make a life with me when it runs the risk of her having to take care of me as well. I can’t ruin the lives of my parents by having to take care of their adult son, after they have already given so much of themselves to me.
I want to live, I want a life, I want a family, and friends, and fun.
I want change.
I want to win.
So how do I make this time different?
I am taking myself out of the mental equation. I will weigh myself weekly until I hit my goal. That weight will be verified.
I will log my calorie input, for better or for worse. There will always be worse days.
After I reach my goals, I will continue to visit the weight clinic once a month regardless of any change in weight.
I will engage others along the way for motivation and support.
And I will remember, every day, that I want to live, I want a life, and I want my love to be my wife.
Hi everyone,
My name is Jon, and I'm 31. I love food, I love the tastes and textures, I love the way I feel engaged and excited when I think about foods, and I love the way I feel while I eat them.
I love my life, my girlfriend, and my friends and family more.
At least I want too.
I was never really heavy when I was younger, I was active. I played Ice Hockey and worked at an ice rink. I enjoyed the gym and power-lifting. I loved to fish and camp.
I was 21 when life happened, and instead of reaching out for help or support I made the worst choice in my life, I used food as a crutch. As I fed my feelings I gained weight and with each pound my life shrank around me. There was never a moment, a conscious choice that I made, to stop trying to live, but I think as I ate myself into oblivion I created this illusion of a life that no longer existed. I told myself I was happy, content, satisfied, while each day brought me further and further away from who I am.
I'm great at telling a story, great at telling people what they want to hear. Great at telling myself what I want to hear.
Great at lying to myself.
In 2007 I weighed around 425 lbs. I hardly left the house, except to buy food. I avoided old friends and family, made up excuses. I remember missing a family member’s funeral because I knew I had no suit to fit in. But every time something would remind me about my weight I would create a story in my head allowing myself to avoid facing any sort of reality.
Until reality hit me in the chest.
I'll never forget the moment. I was sitting at the computer eating 7 layer bean dip, playing an online video game (how cliché is that), when I had a sharp pain in my chest. It was this dull, burning ache that felt deep inside me. It hurt to move my arm or breathe.
"Oh God I’m having a heart attack"
I wasn't working, I had no insurance, and my money was dwindling. I wish I could say this is why I didn't call 911, but the real reason, was because I was embarrassed by my weight. I remember thinking, maybe it would be easier if I just died.
My heart began to beat rapidly, I was having shivers then the sweats, I tried taking a hot shower which just made me dizzy. I laid in bed for hours unable to fall asleep, feeling my heart beat out of my chest.
I was scared. I was, for the first time in my life, scared. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die.
At 4am I called my parents. I remember my father answering the phone and wondering what was wrong. I told him everything. I told him how I had no job, that all I did was eat. I told him that I had never graduated college like they thought. I told him how everything that they knew about me was a lie.
And it turned out to be a pulled muscle.
My father, the amazing person that he is, came down that morning and took me to the doctor's. My blood pressure was elevated, my EKG was normal, I had a pulled pectoral muscle. The years of working out had given me a large pectorals, they were shrinking, the fat was growing, and the weight of the fatty tissue was pulling the muscle.
I'm going to live, maybe.
After some long discussions with my parents, they and I learned a few things about my life.
1. I had dropped out of college after I gained the weight. This was for two main reasons. I couldn't get around campus because of my weight, and I couldn't fit into the desks on campus for class.
2. I hated what I had become
3. If I didn't make some changes, I would die an early death
4. I was lonely, depressed, and scared.
It was time for a change.
I moved back into my parents’ house, enrolled at the local community college, joined a local gym and also enrolled at the John's Hopkins Weight Management Center. (http://www.jhsph.edu/research/centers-and-institutes/weight-management-center/)
Everything changed. I began to exercise, and eat a diet of 880 calories a day. There was such a feeling of satisfaction and motivation when I saw that first weight loss. Every week I would go back and weigh in and every week I was losing weight. It was great!
I was proud of myself.
I would talk about my weight loss to everyone. People that had known me heavy were amazed to see me, people that hadn’t known me were amazed to see old pictures. 160 pounds. That’s another human being.
I had won, my battle was over, I am me again.
I went backpacking, I went kayaking, I spent my free time fishing, and hiking, and bowling. I even went ice skating again. I was eating normal foods again and I had lost 160 pounds. I didn’t need the weight clinic anymore, I had this under control.
I was healthy and fit.
I was naive.
After I graduated from Community College, I decided to finish out my bachelor’s at a 4 year. I moved to go to school, and got a house with some friends. I became busy at school, made new friends, was having a great social life. The party scene wasn’t really for me, especially being older, so I got a job at the main college bar in town as a bouncer. It was a lot of fun, but at a big expense. My sleep suffered, I didn’t do any other activities, I ate on the job.
Freshman 15 turned into senior 200.
I always say “somehow” I gained 220 pounds in two and a half years. I say that “I didn’t even see the gain”. But that isn’t true. I chose not to see it. How could I admit to myself that I was putting myself back into the same situation I had gotten myself out of? Looking back, If I had just continued to step on the scale, and force myself to see my weight gain, I might have headed it off, instead once I saw 300, I never stepped on a scale again.
As the pant and shirt sizes went up, I was able to lie to myself about the actual weight. 2x, 3x, 4x, “oh I’ve only gained about 50 pounds.” 5x, 60. 6x, 60. It’s amazing how we can avoid the things we don’t want to face.
More like 214 pounds.
To you that number may seem shocking, and it should be to anyone. Except perhaps anyone that’s lost a significant amount of weight. Most people that lose weight deal in single or double digit numbers. You see diet ads, or weight loss/ fitness ads, they usually target the 10-30 pound range. Those numbers are nothing to me. I had lost 160 pounds, 10 pounds means nothing too me.
The mistake is, every pound matters.
The mindset of not caring about individual pounds or 10 pounds or even 20, is the biggest mistake I have made. When I first saw the weight gain of a couple pounds, I disregarded it. If I had ate a little less for a few days, lost the extra pounds, and kept weighing myself, I wouldn’t have gained 214 pounds.
I could have faced reality, instead I embraced complacency.
People gain weight for a myriad of reasons, I would venture there are as many reasons that they lose it. The problem about losing weight is that it involves sacrifice. People like myself don’t eat to fuel, we eat to feel. We eat because we like the pleasure derived from taste and smell. We eat because it entertains us when we are bored. We eat because it comforts us when we are sad or stressed. Then we continue to eat because it is a habit, a behavior, an addiction.
To change, to lose weight we have to sacrifice food.
It seems like such a simple statement, “we have to sacrifice food,” but it is the hardest thing I have ever done, or have to do again. Food is everywhere, it’s entwined within our social groups, it’s all over commercials, and it’s everywhere you drive. No matter what you do, you are constantly reminded of food.
The problem with sacrifice is motivation.
Something has to make the sacrifice worth it. If you aren’t ready mentally, if you haven’t fully committed, then you can’t make the sacrifice.
I am making the sacrifice. For myself, for my future, and for the people that matter to me.
The last time I gained the weight, my world shrunk. This is no different now. I can’t fit in desks at school and I can’t maintain any sort of long distance. I injured my knee and my back hurts when I walk. Perhaps the worst is I hide from social events again. I don’t like to go out, because I feel like the fat person.
I am lucky to have two amazing parents that have always supported me and a girlfriend that is the love of my life. I met her two years ago and have loved her ever since. That she continued to support me and love me as I put on the weight means more to me then I could ever put in words.
In many ways, being extremely overweight is incredibly selfish.
I limit my social interactions because I am embarrassed about myself or that people see my girlfriend with “that fat guy.” I run the risk of injury or weight related diseases, things that are preventable by weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Sure they would affect me, but they would also make me a burden on those around me. I can’t ask the love of my life to marry me, to make a life with me when it runs the risk of her having to take care of me as well. I can’t ruin the lives of my parents by having to take care of their adult son, after they have already given so much of themselves to me.
I want to live, I want a life, I want a family, and friends, and fun.
I want change.
I want to win.
So how do I make this time different?
I am taking myself out of the mental equation. I will weigh myself weekly until I hit my goal. That weight will be verified.
I will log my calorie input, for better or for worse. There will always be worse days.
After I reach my goals, I will continue to visit the weight clinic once a month regardless of any change in weight.
I will engage others along the way for motivation and support.
And I will remember, every day, that I want to live, I want a life, and I want my love to be my wife.
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Replies
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"I will log my calorie input, for better or for worse. There will always be worse days. "
I need to remember this.
Well that was depressing as **** and a good wake up to me.
I'll admit, I am curious as to the body type of your girlfriend. I find among women that a lot of them who have never been big can't understand it. (I'm a girl myself.)0 -
Oh man. This ripped my heart out. I mean this was so so so so emotional for me to read. I could be writing this same exact letter. Let me tell you something. I ADMIRE you so much for writing down your feelings. Coming here... is the best thing you could have done. If anything for the support you are about to recieve. There is SO many wonderful people on this site, that will motivate you.. encourage you.. .make you laugh, and kick you when you need it. Embrace it all.
Hit up the message boards also to find topics that you are struggling with. I love the recipes I find there.
Jon... I'm adding you as a friend... because you have inspired me beyond words, and because I want to see you when you finish this journey. Not that this journey is ever complete... but I want to see you HAPPY. :flowerforyou:0 -
"I'll admit, I am curious as to the body type of your girlfriend. I find among women that a lot of them who have never been big can't understand it. (I'm a girl myself.)"
She has an athletic build.
She swam through high school, and coached a swim team through college. She does 5k's and triathlons in the summer.
Wet met when I wasn't heavy, but she has never made weight an issue. Even defending me before.
She wants me to be around for a long time, and I want to be around with her.
I didn't write that to be depressing, I'm sorry if it made you feel that way. I just wanted to be truthful, to myself, and to others. I made mistakes, I will always make mistakes. The only time I can feel bad about everything, is if I don't do something to fix them.0 -
I'm a male, 50, and weighed near 500lbs 3 years ago. I now have 50 pounds to go to a what I call a very sustainable weight on both a physical and emotional level, which is 250. So I've lost 200lbs in 3 years. Since alot of what you said is similar to my situation, the only thing I will add is what has helped me:
1) Get your thyroid checked to make sure that's not an issue.
2) At the start of your life style change, it's easier to add then subtract, so don't worry so much about your food intake for a few days or weeks, ADD some exercise to your daily life. Seriously...just walk. 5 min the first day, get up to at least 30 min a day.
3) Drink as much water as you want to. At least 8-12 cups a day.
4) Once you're able to walk for 15 min a day, start the mental change needed to make this work. Start eating better. Less soda (more water), less deep fried foods, more veggies, more baked chicken, fish, etc. Eat as much of this as you want for a few days or weeks.
5) So now it might be a few days or a few weeks...you're walking, drinking more water, making a few better food choices like eating baked chicken, fish, pork, turkey, plenty of veggies, etc, etc. NOW is the time to consider a realistic calorie goal for your daily life. Don't go to crazy, you want to do this slowly. Perhaps consider 2600-3000 calories a day. Stick to this for a month or so. If you feel good, try to work your way down to around 2000 calories a day....long term.
Good luck!0 -
No, I understand. Seeing you bare yourself actually inspired me to finally write my introduction.
That's cool. I'm glad you have someone you love.
Anyways, good luck. I'd offer to support you and give you my number to text if you need someone to say "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Resist the cheesey goodness" >.< but I don't answer my texts often enough. and I have trouble resisting any foody goodness myself.
I tell myself "it's not cheating if you eat a SALAD." DX0 -
"Let me tell you something. I ADMIRE you so much for writing down your feelings. "
It was a new experience for me. I've done these type of websites in the past, never got involved, never filled out the profile information, let alone post anything like this. I kept seeing the empty profile, and just went to fill it out. Then was like what the heck, i'll go write a post and say hi. Then all of a sudden I couldn't stop writing.
I think it's something I would have to recommend.0 -
"I'll admit, I am curious as to the body type of your girlfriend. I find among women that a lot of them who have never been big can't understand it. (I'm a girl myself.)"
She has an athletic build.
She swam through high school, and coached a swim team through college. She does 5k's and triathlons in the summer.
Wet met when I wasn't heavy, but she has never made weight an issue. Even defending me before.
She wants me to be around for a long time, and I want to be around with her.
I didn't write that to be depressing, I'm sorry if it made you feel that way. I just wanted to be truthful, to myself, and to others. I made mistakes, I will always make mistakes. The only time I can feel bad about everything, is if I don't do something to fix them.
Nooooo! Don't be sorry! It was depressing because I was the same way. Seeing someone else go through almost the identical thing (even though your male) is heartbreaking because I know what I went through emotionally. I still admire you, and I can't wait to see you in a few months. Mistakes are fixable.
*\o/* Got my cheerleader out for ya. Get 'er done Jon.
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1) Get your thyroid checked to make sure that's not an issue.
Thanks for your post. I actually am surprisingly healthy. My thyroid is fine, and have a resting metabolic rate of around 3400 calories. My BP is borderline pre-hypertension, my insulin levels are good, and my cholesterol while high, will (historically) drop as the weight drops.
The program I'm involved in (which I would recommend to anyone in the Baltimore area) is run by Dr. Cheskin, who may be one of the nicest men I've ever met. It has the side benefit of not only talking to a support team, but seeing a doctor that specializes in obese patients. Get the BP checked, blood tests, and any other weight-related health issues.
The eating plan I follow right now is a lower carb, high protein, around 1100 calories a day. My biggest issues are just sticking too it. I do more often then not, but some days are bad.0 -
I tell myself "it's not cheating if you eat a SALAD
Oh, that's pretty much everything I eat. It's not cheating because I lost weight, or it's ok because it has no carbs.
Best way I've found to combat that is putting everything I eat, good or bad, into the food diary. At least you see the calorie count and you hold yourself accountable for what your eating. The longer you do it, the less you start to eat those bad things.0 -
Hey Jon, another person here who's done the dieting dance (every diet more or a less, just lack long term accountability, seems like that might be your tough spot too) over the years (350+ to <200 many times)... after I hit my target weight this time I'll have lost right about 1000 lbs since I was 16... (36 currently) yo-yo up and down... the accountability of the daily logging is why I'm here. Hope it works for you as well as it's worked for me so far! Keep at it man, it's beatable, but it takes diligence to maintain. You've done it before so you know you can do it again! We're here for you!0
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Best way I've found to combat that is putting everything I eat, good or bad, into the food diary. At least you see the calorie count and you hold yourself accountable for what your eating. The longer you do it, the less you start to eat those bad things.
Best advice ever. If it passes your mouth, log it.0 -
Thanks Shadus,
Accountability is without a doubt my biggest issue. I told Dr. Cheskin, that he had to verify my weight each week, I am too good at gaming the system, as he calls it, or lying to myself, as I call it.
I also make appointments a month in advance, which helps me not avoid going.
Finally, I gave him my dad's number and told him, if I don't show, or am gaining weight, call him. My parents have done so much for me, the last thing I want to do is let them down.
Those are short term (relatively) speaking though. What still worries me is 4-5 years down the road. That is what motivated me to make that post, and join this community.
I look forward to becoming part of it, and having it to lean on.0 -
"The eating plan I follow right now is a lower carb, high protein, around 1100 calories a day. My biggest issues are just sticking too it. I do more often then not, but some days are bad."
1100!!!! Unless you're a medical emergency...that is just nuts and is a recipe for disaster imho. I eat 1970 calories a day and that's enough to maintain a weight of 200lbs!!!!
Please do some research, glad you're in a support group and going to a doctor, but 1100 calories....that just seems like it's going to put you back on the roller coaster.
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Congrats on finding MFP AND bearing your feelings. Also congrats on your success so far. I agree with the others who have posted log EVERYTHING that goes in your mouth. It's a great accountability tool too. Do you use a food scale and measure everything? That maybe something to try just to make sure your logging the right number of calories.
I'm sending you a friend request too. I've got roughly 80 pounds to lose and I'm hoping we can motivate one another to our goals. I haven't written my intro either but I'm rethinking that too!0 -
1100!!!! Unless you're a medical emergency...that is just nuts and is a recipe for disaster imho. I eat 1970 calories a day and that's enough to maintain a weight of 200lbs!!!!
Please don't take this the wrong way, I truly do appreciate your input and suggestions, but I Trust Dr. Cheskin with my life. It's drastic, and it's extreme, and it is not something that I would maintain, but it does make the body use its fat reserves. This is life threatening for me, I blew my knee out last year, and the additional weight has a huge impact on it's recovery/mobility. It is also keeping me from getting any surgery done on it.
You think 1100 is bad, I was on 880 last time I did this plan. It's also why I see a doctor every week. I agree about the roller coaster. Part of the program is a transition period of a few months. Something I never did last time. I just stopped going, thought I had everything under control. Went from eating diet supplements to the real world and never stopped to adjust. Also never went back to weigh in or discuss it.
I made the mistake of thinking this was a period of my life, not part of my entire life.0 -
fantastic writing! you should write a book.0
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Wow, I admire your determination.I have been a Yo-Yo all my life. I have to keep starting over and over because I lose and always gain it ( & then some back) You write beautifully and so honestly. If you don't have a blog on here, you should start one. The honesty and feelings you write can be like a journal of your experiences. It would inspire so many of us. Plus it gives you an even larger cheering section and more people to be accountable to. If you already have one I would like to know what it is so I can follow you. Here in MFP you need to be 100% honest when you are filling out your food diary. It helps me so much. It makes me look at the truth. If I eat too many calories, or go too far over any of my nutrients, then I have to be extra careful.
I would love to be a friend. So I am sending a request to you and hope you will accept. I would love to share all of these life style changes. One of the things I am determined to do ( not do) Is slack off when I reach my goal. As a friend, You always have the option to "message " privately,if you just want to discuss something with just one person. Again, I cannot stress the importance of sharing your ups and downs. Again if you have a blog, please share the address of your site. I would love to keep up with what is going on in your life. It can also be a journal To vent or brag or whatever you wish to do. :drinker:
Any way, I wish you great success on these permanent life style. In case you want to see my " crazy blog" It is " Random Thoughts & Ramblings "
My Blog: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/1stday13
You are very lucky to have your parents and wonderful girlfriend supporting you :flowerforyou:0 -
Again if you have a blog, please share the address of your site. I would love to keep up with what is going on in your life.
I think I'd like to try this blogging thing. It's never been something I would have considered, but I don't really have anything left to hide so why not.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Jonslife0 -
That was a really cool introduction. Really good. Because i see everything from where I stand lately I see depression. to say 'why bother' is a depressed, negative concept. Otherwise, why NOT bother?
Things have got you down. You've hidden from them. and I think although confronting the fat is a really great step, there are other things to deal with. There's other stuff you've got to put to rest.
Loving food is different from gorging yourself. I love food. seriously love it. While I'm on a diet, I think half the day about what I'll have for dinner, how to make it delicious, how to make it special. Yes, it's now that I admit to seldom filling in all the vege on my food diary, cos as far as I'm concerned they're free. To stop yourself from eating a carrot or a slice of cucumber because of a calorie count is taking a good thing far too far in my opinion, so I don't do it.
The way I express my love for food lately is by being careful when I put it together that it tastes good, is delicious, fills me up at the time, and actually that it looks good. Eating a stir fry that's full of great colours is somehow more satisfying than one that's just green and cream.
Anyway now I'm yabbering and this is your thread. Good luck, I do recommend some kind of counselling though, because you need to unlock this thing and have it gone for good. You don't want to find yourself in this spot a third time. 0 -
*SuperMegaBearHugz* I was very touched by your story, and could relate to some of it. Feel free to add me as a friend any time. 0
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