feeling guilty

cwolfman13

why do I even post on the boards if it's just trolls going around

All I saw were a bunch of posts telling you it was calorie surplus, not the food you were eating...how is that trolling? I'm only seeing the trolling posts come after you called everyone a troll...which should be expected...

jwdieter

Has anyone else out there cut out eating the foods they like because they deem them as "bad". I feel like I shouldn't should it, but I'm cutting out everything that I considered "bad" food in order to help me lose weight . I'm sure everyone will tell me that there is no such thing as "bad" food and that you can fit it into your diet. I guess I think that I gained weight from eating these foods, so I shouldn't eat them anymore right?

There are a lot of people who cut out certain foods, due to dietary or impulse control issues. Also, people change their ideas of food and portion size. For example, is it reasonable to eat 2700 calories of pizza for dinner? Maybe not if you're aiming for 2000 calories in your day. Cut that down to 540 calories and maybe pizza fits just fine.

Also, the ultimate culprit for weight gain was caloric surplus.

bridgie101

Has anyone else out there cut out eating the foods they like because they deem them as "bad". I feel like I shouldn't should it, but I'm cutting out everything that I considered "bad" food in order to help me lose weight . I'm sure everyone will tell me that there is no such thing as "bad" food and that you can fit it into your diet. I guess I think that I gained weight from eating these foods, so I shouldn't eat them anymore right?

When I was learning to drive a car I remember being on a narrow road with a truck coming the other way. I was petrified. "Look at the gap!" said my instructor. "Don't look at the truck, look at the gap!" I did this, and all my confidence returned. I drove to where I was looking at. Quite naturally.

And so now I say it to you. Don't look at the truck. Look at the gap.

Don't focus on forbidden foods. don't forbid foods. Choose the foods you want most, for whatever reason. As you grow your reasons grow. You start to choose food for its effect on your body, rather than its flavour or mouth feel.

But it's always good to have a treat now and then, remember that you're human and not just some perennially dieting thing.

And in closing: to be bad one must do things that are morally wrong. You have to save the word 'guilt' for those things. You might be disappointed when you eat a bag of jaffas. You might feel let down, but so long as there's no dead body and no smoking gun nobody did anything 'wrong'. It's a really small distinction but a really important one. Do NOT feel guilt wrt food. Do not ALLOW it. Save ideas like that for hurting people and stealing and such.

firstsip

I agree for the most part that food should not make you feel guilty, UNLESS, let's say you overeat or binge eat or even just deviate from your calorie goals for the day might incite a little guilt. Guilt is a normal reaction we have when we know we did something we shouldn't. You feel guilty when you bail on your friends, you feel guilty when you cut someone off on the freeway, you feel guilty when you cheat on your spouse. No feeling guilty doesn't solve anything, it doesn't undo what you did but it is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes.

So if you feel guilty, try to own it, try to learn from it, you may falter again, you may feel guilt from that and its ok... It's just your body tell you that you know better than your actions proved.

Not the best words to say to someone with a clear post history screaming ED and who admits they should talk to someone about their restrictive eating.

bridgie101

I agree for the most part that food should not make you feel guilty, UNLESS, let's say you overeat or binge eat or even just deviate from your calorie goals for the day might incite a little guilt. Guilt is a normal reaction we have when we know we did something we shouldn't. You feel guilty when you bail on your friends, you feel guilty when you cut someone off on the freeway, you feel guilty when you cheat on your spouse. No feeling guilty doesn't solve anything, it doesn't undo what you did but it is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes.

So if you feel guilty, try to own it, try to learn from it, you may falter again, you may feel guilt from that and its ok... It's just your body tell you that you know better than your actions proved.

Not the best words to say to someone with a clear post history screaming ED and who admits they should talk to someone about their restrictive eating.

I agree it could have been said a lot better. But she's right in a way: one has to explore the guilt to defuse it. We come out of childhood with some mis-wiring. things we take too seriously, things we don't take seriously enough. We have to review. Look at things under a magnifying glass and see if they can stand up to a bit of scrutiny.

*climbing on soap box, testing megaphone...*

"Guilt" with regard to food is a current fashion, and a lot of people talk about food that way, but true, genuine guilt, involves hurting somebody. Doing something to somebody else that you really regret and that you realise now was morally wrong for some reason.

Imagine God's looking at us from on high. What does He want to point the finger at? That girl who just ate a second oreo cookie - or Hitler? How does it really look in the scheme of things? Think of Stalingrad in WWII. Everyone starving to death. And dying. And eating each other. Imagine one of them getting their hands on a second oreo cookie. Would that person be feeling any guilt? Guilt, and even the word guilt, has to be reserved for BAD THINGS that you do. it is a word that simply doesn't apply to food and it screws with people's heads mightily if they try.

there, I just explored guilt a little. Which I think everyone ought to do. Really think about it. Really think about what it means.

/ soapbox.

thekyleo

I'm not really trying to say the feeling of guilt i have is that compared to people in WWII that wasn't my intent

bridgie101

I'm not really trying to say the feeling of guilt i have is that compared to people in WWII that wasn't my intent

no! sorry! I wasn't trying to put you down. I was trying to cheer you up. maybe I should stand on my head next time and see if I get a better result.

PetulantOne

why do I even post on the boards if it's just trolls going around

No, the bigger question is... why are you asking such basic advice after already losing 82 pounds? Don't you already know what works for you?

Good question. OP :huh: