National Guard, Army Reserve ladies, and Army SPOUSES!

matchbox_girl

I'm 22 years old, getting married next month to a wonderful man who is 23. Since I was 18 I have considered joining the National Guard. I always wanted to feel like I am DOING something in my life. I wanted that feeling of pride and accomplishment. I was days away from joining when I was told I was too fat. Of course I figured I would drop the weight and join, but I never did, so the motivation to join was lost.

Lately I have been thinking about it more often. My fiance's family are big on military. My Father in Law served, his dad served, etc and now my fiance is considering it, too once we drop the weight. I wanted to do reserves or Guard, though, because I don't want to be stationed somewhere and I still want to work here.

However, if I DIDN'T end up joining and my fiance joined active, what is it like to be a military wife?

So I guess my question is for all of those who have joined, whether alone or together, how was/is your experience? Do you regret it? Was it what you were expecting? Would you do it again?

Thanks.

FindMyInnerAthlete

I've been serving for 14 years and I absolutely love it!! I was active duty for about 5 years and I spent the rest of my time in the Reserves. My husband is Active Duty and I love being a military wife. It's great that we are both military because we totally understand what each other is going through. The military is definitely an experience I would have never received as a civilian. Being a soldier has also helped me in the civilian world. My civilian job is also military oriented on a military base. I actually do pretty much the same thing as a civilian as I do a soldier. I have no regrets about the joining the military. I truly feel like it is what I was supposed to do and I'm seriously thinking about going Active Duty again. The military is definitely everything I expected. It can be challenging but fun at the same time. The most major downfall about the military is kids. My kids had to be without me for some time here and there and it can be hard on them. But there are many helpful agencies that help military families stick together as a unit. Think your decision through. Make sure you are doing the right thing and that it will be something you can handle. I believe all American citizens should have at least 2 years of some military. It's definitely structuring and helpful through your adult life. Good luck on your military journey chica!

Salt_Sand_Sun

I was Air Force and loved it!! I met my husband in the Air Force. One of the main reasons we got out is we were about to get seperated (me to Korea and him to Texas) and we were not ready to get married and didn't want to rush things. I had always thought I would get out and he was the opposite - always wanted to make it a careeer. Somewhere in our 4yrs our mind set changed and he was tired of everything and wanted to get out. I tried to change career fields and they wouldn't let me (critically manned field) so I then made the decision to get out as well. So those two reasons are why I'm still not serving. However, I think it was a GREAT experience. I met so many wonderful people. Learned so much about life and myself.

I'm very pro-military!! Being a military spouse is very hard. You'll have times when you have to go at it alone. He'll be gone TDY or PCS for 6+ months. Its very trying on a relatiionship....but it can work. I have many many friends who are military spouses and/.or joint military.

Best of luck to you

FindMyInnerAthlete

I was Air Force and loved it!! I met my husband in the Air Force. One of the main reasons we got out is we were about to get seperated (me to Korea and him to Texas) and we were not ready to get married and didn't want to rush things. I had always thought I would get out and he was the opposite - always wanted to make it a careeer. Somewhere in our 4yrs our mind set changed and he was tired of everything and wanted to get out. I tried to change career fields and they wouldn't let me (critically manned field) so I then made the decision to get out as well. So those two reasons are why I'm still not serving. However, I think it was a GREAT experience. I met so many wonderful people. Learned so much about life and myself.

I'm very pro-military!! Being a military spouse is very hard. You'll have times when you have to go at it alone. He'll be gone TDY or PCS for 6+ months. Its very trying on a relatiionship....but it can work. I have many many friends who are military spouses and/.or joint military.

Best of luck to you

I totally agree about being a military spouse. We love to refer to ourselves as single moms because they leave and then we have to do it all on our own. You have to learn how to turn on the single mom mode and then how to turn it back on to married life. You have to be trusting of your husband just as well he has to be trusting of you. It can be so stressful being a military wife but as long as you both talk it out and be considerate to eachother's feelings everything will work out. For instance, my husband may leave and he will be gone and then I might have to do a three day drill and I'll have to find someone to be able to take care of the kids and dog while we are both gone. We haven't been deployed at the same time yet but I'm sure that day will come. Luckily we have supportive family to help take care of our kids and animals.

teresamwhite

I've been serving for 14 years and I absolutely love it!! I was active duty for about 5 years and I spent the rest of my time in the Reserves. My husband is Active Duty and I love being a military wife. It's great that we are both military because we totally understand what each other is going through. The military is definitely an experience I would have never received as a civilian. Being a soldier has also helped me in the civilian world. My civilian job is also military oriented on a military base. I actually do pretty much the same thing as a civilian as I do a soldier. I have no regrets about the joining the military. I truly feel like it is what I was supposed to do and I'm seriously thinking about going Active Duty again. The military is definitely everything I expected. It can be challenging but fun at the same time. The most major downfall about the military is kids. My kids had to be without me for some time here and there and it can be hard on them. But there are many helpful agencies that help military families stick together as a unit. Think your decision through. Make sure you are doing the right thing and that it will be something you can handle. I believe all American citizens should have at least 2 years of some military. It's definitely structuring and helpful through your adult life. Good luck on your military journey chica!

My story is pretty similar...I enlisted when I was 17, and married my soldier at 22. We got out about a year after our son was born because we were constantly deployed. I was raised in a military family...currently, I have a brother in the Air Force and another in the Navy. My parents are both retired Army, and most of my extended family has also served at least one hitch. I am currently a chef in a military hospital.

Military life is hard, exciting and rewarding. That said, you get what you put in. If you are the type of person to stay home and complain when things aren't "just like home" then you will probably be miserable. But if you are type to go out and meet people and see new things, and be involved, then you will probably love it. The Japanese have a saying, "Shoganai" (I probably botched the spelling)...it means, "It can't be helped". Some things you will have to just accept, because they can't be helped. We once had all of our household goods get lost in shipping for 6 months...it can't be helped, just accept it and ask your unit's spouses' club for things you can borrow til your stuff arrives. Hubby is due home at 6PM, but gets called for 24-hour duty at the last minute? It does no good to get angry about it, he can't help it and it doesn't solve anything.

You also have to keep in mind, your behavior and the behavior of your children will reflect on your husband. If you are bouncing checks, or getting too friendly with someone else's husband, your husband will get called in the office with his leadership. (Not saying you would, but I've seen it happen!) Did the kids graffiti the school? Your hubby will get called in for it. It's also the only job in the world where they can take your paycheck for up to 2 months and still make you go to work. (Punishments for certain infractions can result in loss of pay.) Most of the time this isn't a problem for people, but it can and does happen.

A cautionary tale: My sister-in-law married my Air Force brother and did nothing but kick up a stink everytime something went wrong, or he was called in to work unexpectedly. She got into verbal altercations with his chain of commands' wives and complained about everything from their quarters, to the selections at the commissary. My brother finally got tired of answering for her behavior and sent her back home to live with her mother until he is able to move to the next unit. I don't think their marriage will last long because she is seriously impacting his career.

On the other hand: My other sister-in-law is having the time of her life. She is volunteering with the spouses' club and is thrilled they get to go to Australia for their next duty assignment.