A very, VERY personal question...

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  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Have him pull your hair, push you up against the wall, maybe smack your butt a few times, then show him the same.
    Buy some handcuffs, toys and some lube.
  • MTBrob
    MTBrob Posts: 513 Member
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    Have him pull your hair, push you up against the wall, maybe smack your butt a few times, then show him the same.
    Buy some handcuffs, toys and some lube.

    Some one gets it :P
  • jrbb03092
    jrbb03092 Posts: 198 Member
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    Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?

    I don't think I could hate this sentence more.

    I'm with you on that one.



    I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.

    if my SO throws me around the bed and the room, he gets MORE....don't assume how you are wired is in ANY way the same as how I am wired. just don't.

    that's close-minded.

    I'm with her. Me likes it rough!

    I don't care how anyone's wired. What I don't like are the words "like a man should"

    Not all men are wired that way. Not all women want that.

    Some women want to be the dominant one and some men want to be submissive.

    Different strokes for different folks but saying "like a man should"?

    *eyerolls*
  • crazorbaq
    crazorbaq Posts: 74 Member
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    Have him pull your hair, push you up against the wall, maybe smack your butt a few times, then show him the same.
    Buy some handcuffs, toys and some lube.

    Some one gets it :P

    yes yes yes yes yes!!!! :smooched: :smooched:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?

    I don't think I could hate this sentence more.

    I'm with you on that one.



    I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.

    if my SO throws me around the bed and the room, he gets MORE....don't assume how you are wired is in ANY way the same as how I am wired. just don't.

    that's close-minded.

    I'm with her. Me likes it rough!

    I don't care how anyone's wired. What I don't like are the words "like a man should"

    Not all men are wired that way. Not all women want that.

    Some women want to be the dominant one and some men want to be submissive.

    Different strokes for different folks but saying "like a man should"?

    *eyerolls*

    True. I DO agree with that. But I also disagree with Mel's Auntie's comment about how "Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to."

    That is the only comment I was commenting on. As per the original statement, that I was not originally commenting on.
  • jrbb03092
    jrbb03092 Posts: 198 Member
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    Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?

    I don't think I could hate this sentence more.

    I'm with you on that one.



    I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.

    if my SO throws me around the bed and the room, he gets MORE....don't assume how you are wired is in ANY way the same as how I am wired. just don't.

    that's close-minded.

    I'm with her. Me likes it rough!

    I don't care how anyone's wired. What I don't like are the words "like a man should"

    Not all men are wired that way. Not all women want that.

    Some women want to be the dominant one and some men want to be submissive.

    Different strokes for different folks but saying "like a man should"?

    *eyerolls*

    True. I DO agree with that. But I also disagree with Mel's Auntie's comment about how "Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to."

    That is the only comment I was commenting on. As per the original statement, that I was not originally commenting on.

    Agreed. Generalizing either way is not helpful.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
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    Have him pull your hair, push you up against the wall, maybe smack your butt a few times, then show him the same.
    Buy some handcuffs, toys and some lube.

    Well... Helloooooo there.

    NIGELPOWERS2.JPG

    But in all seriousness, different strokes for different folks. We've all got our kinks or lack thereof.

    You've gotten some great input here. I'd start with the least invasive suggestions (small vacation from the kids, changing up the routine even if it is pretty spicy, and talking with your husband about it, etc.), and then if that type of thing doesn't resolve your issue, maybe try looking at the more complicated options (getting your bloodwork/hormone levels checked, etc).
  • BattleTaxi
    BattleTaxi Posts: 752 Member
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    Only one person on here coming off as a serious creeper....
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
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    I'm starring at 40 in the review mirror and it's not abnormal for the big "O" to be hit or miss. Part of the problem is once you have a couple of misses you start to question if you're going to orgasm a few minutes before your about to orgasm...then you get lost in your thoughts about it and before you know it, the moment is lost to you.

    So here's what I did when that started happening.

    1. I told my husband what was going on so he didn't think I'd lost interest in him.
    2. Bought some new toys. As it turned out, he enjoys watching me use them and isn't the least bit offended that I needed a little extra help.
    3. This may sound a bit pervy....but watch a little porn. It's amazing how quickly that can jump start things. There must be something that you would find exciting but would NEVER do. Take that visual in your head and think about that during sex if you find yourself losing interest before completion...this might bring it back around.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
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    I don't understand the question. You say you're still very much attracted to each other and your "desire has only increased"...does that mean you're only having a problem reaching the big O?

    Yes. That is exactly what I am saying. My apologies for not being clear. I wasn't sure saying that would be allowed in the forums so I used "fireworks" instead.

    Forgive me for not reading the entire post, but are you on any meds? I know for me (though I have a weiner, not a vag), if I have a bunch of drinking or pain meds that make me loopy, it definitely can take a lot more effort to reach that moment, nawwwmean?
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
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    Not sure if anyone else has asked this already, but it's worth a shot. Are you taking anti-depressants or any other mood-altering prescription? A lot of those have the side effect of reducing libido. And as you lose weight, the same dose you took 70lbs ago could be impacting you very differently now. Just a thought. Good luck!
  • OBXbound4me
    OBXbound4me Posts: 245 Member
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    any medications you are taking? that was my problem for years, and i didn't even realize it: as soon as i was off the ssri i went from very rarely 'getting there' to being a 'regular visitor', so to speak.
    ^^^
    This. My wife is on mood meds and on nights she is not working she waits to take it until bed. If not and I am doing an "oral presentation" it could take upwards of 45 min. Luckily I am very determined.
    When off meds, all is usually as normal.
    Hope you get what you need here and get your normal back, but talk to him and maybe your doc as well.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    :blushing:
    Have him pull your hair, push you up against the wall, maybe smack your butt a few times, then show him the same.
    Buy some handcuffs, toys and some lube.

    Some one gets it :P

    yes yes yes yes yes!!!! :smooched: :smooched:

    QFT...

    But on that note...cept the butt smacking not a fan of that if it's too hard...

    Can you reach "the Fireworks" by yourself???? If you can it sounds like a mental block to me...sort of like when you are with a new guy for the first time and he doesn't perform the best due to nerves....so the next time he's thinking about last time and how it was a "let down" and it affects him now...

    If you answer "I don't know if I can" get on that quick...go find some toys and take him with you...even small things like that spark something...

    If you answer "No I can't" get to a doctor...I am 40 and they are just getting better and better...


    and last but not least DO NOT EVER EVER EVER FAKE "FIREWORKS" you are just doing youself, your husband, your marriage and relationship a disservice.

    That is all.:drinker: :smokin: :drinker: :smokin: :drinker:
  • ironmonkeystyle
    ironmonkeystyle Posts: 834 Member
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    the Internet is a bad place for medical advice. Ask your doctor this question.

    Some ideas from the interwebbings:
    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/low-sex-drive-in-women/DS01043
    http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/lackingsexdrive.htm
  • Fakepro
    Fakepro Posts: 1
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    I'm going with it's all mental.. You obviously are hot for him still, and he knows exactly how to get the job done. After 17+ years of practice he knows what you want and how you want it to get the job done. At this point he is your perfectly trained Dr. of Sex.

    It's common knowledge that a females ability to reach the big O can be as much mental as physical... As opposed to males being mostly physical.

    I think you came close once or twice (probably in a row) and for whatever reason (guessing stress from so much going on with the kids, work, and/or house) you missed them. Since then every time you to are together you are trying to hard to get there, and the result is you getting right to the edge and "damn not again"...

    Personally, I think if the next time you are alone with him start for the sole purpose of feeling him that close and connected to you... You'll get lost in the moment and hopefully find relief. You just have to get out of your head...

    Might also help to make sure the button is still working right before hand. :-) That will make it easier to get there when he joins the party right afterwards! lol

    Good luck!
  • FitCanuckChick
    FitCanuckChick Posts: 240 Member
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    Fair enough ... Are you sexually fulfilled? Have you been involved in any type of emotional affair or physical affair ? What about your Husband ?

    WHat is the big white elephant in the room in your relationship no one speaks about?

    So you initiate more ?

    Wow. There are MANY factors that could be playing into the OPS situation that are so far from being related to affairs and being fullflled. There are medical factors that should be looked into.

    Since you were so steriotypically going to "does he take you like a man should", I am going to be "steriotypical" and say - don't be such a boneheaded insensitive man. I hope to god that someday you don't have a similar situation happen to you...
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
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    Almost 40 with two small children - are you just plain exhausted? That's more of an issue when you're older. I'm much older than you, so I know. My husband and I have four children. When they were small, we went away for a weekend and were lucky enough to have someone watch the kids. I slept the entire first day. I didn't realize how tired I was. The rest of the weekend went extremely well!
  • galvitron1
    galvitron1 Posts: 13 Member
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    I haven't read through all of the posts. However does your husband see this all as a problem too? Have you tried talking to him about it? I recommend counseling.
  • gsmithnp
    gsmithnp Posts: 139 Member
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    As others have mentioned, are you on any meds--INCLUDING BIRTH CONTROL? All forms of hormonal BC have the potential for affecting libido. Talk to your doc and get some bloodwork done.

    Try something new. Anything. Toys, positions, locations. (This summer when our kids were at grandmas for a week, several areas of the house got "initiated." Including the kitchen table. :blushing: )

    Try to enjoy the journey and don't worry so much about the destination. Not every encounter has to end in fireworks, but should be enjoyable for the duration. If it's all good, just go with it. If fireworks ensue, GREAT!! If not, it was still a good time.
  • MTBrob
    MTBrob Posts: 513 Member
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    I hope to god that someday you don't have a similar situation happen to you...

    Don't worry I wont..

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