Depression and weight loss

Hildy_J

Reading posts from people who are recovering from eating disorders reminds me so much of the first time I had severe depression, in my early-twenties after an ever-worsening period of panic attacks. I had a lot of the same symptoms, the not feeling hungry, dizziness, lethargy... because I suppose I was experiencing the same symptoms.

I have no idea what I weighed around then - I saw one photo from that time (actually later on when I was much BETTER) and I looked gaunt and ill. I remember I didn't eat for no other reason that that I wasn't hungry. I think the thought of doing anything overwhelmed me - having a bath, eating, speaking to people, anything... I was like a rabbit frozen in the headlights, unable to make decisions. Lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling for months. I knew I didn't want to die so I forced down a bowl of porridge every day. It was shocking and very weird - I had absolutely NO idea what was happening to me. It was like watching myself go mad. I had agoraphobia for many years afterwards, in varying degrees of severity.

What I'm getting at IS - I have first hand experience of what the effects of not eating are and it's just awful. If I had known then what I know now I would have MADE myself eat because no doubt that made things far worse - if I'd eaten I probably would have recovered, mentally far more quickly.

So... don't do it kids... don't ever do it - you have no idea of where that spiral will take you. Stay well, eat well, god knows this life is hard enough without adding to the difficulties. Even when you don't feel like it - EAT!

I'm fine now, btw, got all the treatment and meds I needed. Life is good. Better than EVER.

Stay tuned - I will be posting up Part 2 of my life history tomorrow. :laugh:

ballerina_tea

I think the thought of doing anything overwhelmed me - having a bath, eating, speaking to people, anything... I was like a rabbit frozen in the headlights, unable to make decisions. Lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling for months. I knew I didn't want to die so I forced down a bowl of porridge every day. It was shocking and very weird - I had absolutely NO idea what was happening to me. It was like watching myself go mad. I had agoraphobia for many years afterwards, in varying degrees of severity.

This sounds exactly like my experience with anxiety, though not triggered by an ED. Coupled with the hopeless feelings of depression, anxiety can be absolutely horrifying. Anything I did felt horrible and freaked me out, even taking a bath to console myself. I thought it would go on forever and I'd lose control, leading me to kill myself. I felt so out of control, existentially alone and painfully empty. Now I just take 5-htp. lol I don't know if I could have stopped myself from having an ED as a teenager though. I was psychologically predisposed, didn't care, and it felt like a way of coping at the time. I got lucky though, as I don't think I'm the type who could have kept it up. My constant yo-yo's woke me up to the fact that I needed to be healthy if I really wanted to control my weight. Maybe weight shouldn't have been the central reason, but it helped at the time.