Well why the @$&# did I do that?

Options
Ed98043
Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ugh, was just on Facebook and in the "You may know this person" section popped up the smiling face of my last boyfriend, with an equally beaming girl in a white dress. WHY did I have to look? Why did I have then go to their wedding web page and read about how they met, and how he proposed, and where they honeymooned? Now I feel crappy, in no small part because she's fatter than me which means I can no longer conveniently blame my weight gain for why he lost interest in me after 2 years. Is anyone else an emotional cutter?

Replies

  • griff7809
    griff7809 Posts: 611 Member
    Options
    I believe in Karma.

    Everything happens for a reason.

    Take solice in that.
  • TamaraKat
    TamaraKat Posts: 533 Member
    Options
    I believe in Karma.

    Everything happens for a reason.

    Take solice in that.
    ^ Agree with this; 100%. It's worked for me so far! :drinker:
  • RACHAEL0826
    RACHAEL0826 Posts: 5
    Options
    Aw girl, Ive SO been there. We know its going to hurt, but we do it anyways. Its almost like we think we deserve to feel bad. But we DONT!

    You are beautiful. & You are hard at work making a stronger, healthier and happier you. As you reach your goals, you can start to accept that jut because this guy didnt see all the awesome that you are, does not mean that it was not there all along!

    Not blaming social media...but it certainly makes it a heck of a lot easier to "go there". LOL
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
    Options
    1. He's moved on..so should you. You are beautiful, and getting more so every day!

    2. You will find someone better for you! Someone who loves you for you!

    3. Don't cut your beautiful body just because seeing him brought out emotions. Scream, yell, cry, hit a pillow, then move on with your life. You have more to live for than the past! You have an awesome future out there just waiting for you!

    P.S. I had a dream about cutting this morning. If I thought I was psychic, I would have said it was so I could say this to you. :)

    You are a beautiful, strong, amazing woman! Don't let the past hold you back! HUGS!!!:flowerforyou:
  • aliasbee
    aliasbee Posts: 27
    Options
    The things we run into accidentally sure have changed since the advent of social media. Boy howdy!

    Everything is really in your face on facebook. I chose to leave it myself for political and personal reasons. Downsides of course are that a lot of extended family and friends from yester-year aren't connected to me in any particular way anymore, but my life is simpler.

    No saying that you wouldn't run into the same situation outside a social network, but it would sure be harder to secretly check it out!!

    I've had the ex with a girlfriend bigger than me experience. On one hand it irritates me that I notice. A little bias against weight I guess? On the other hand, I also noticed a lot of other things I thought were lacking, which is always a secret joy/pain.

    Thankfully I don't get bothered by such things anymore, but I truly remember I time when I did.
  • BluejayNY
    BluejayNY Posts: 301 Member
    Options
    He may have found happiness so that is nice for him. I am legally separated and going through a divorce. There was a lot of betrayal in my marriage but there is no point in being bitter. I certainly do not wish him not to find happiness just because he has hurt me. Its just not my concern anymore whether he does or not.

    Your worth is not a reflection on his evaluation or the outcome of the relationship not working out. He wasn't the right one. Pick yourself up and focus on the future. Leave that past behind. Learn what you can from it and let go of the rest. Staying with the wrong person, never makes things right. It will always be wrong.

    Go find your own happiness. I do believe in looking for opportunities and fighting for what you want.

    I am not a huge believer in Karma. Honestly, I think good stuff happens to people who do bad things and sometimes horrible events happen to the best of people. That is just life. All you can do is accept the things you cannot change and make an effort to create your own happiness with the action/choices you can choose to take/make.

    I am going to just focus on changing my career and cherishing friends/family that fulfill my life. I will be open to meeting new people and taking some chances. Hopefully, it will work out because I would love to be married and have a child someday. However, I will not obsess over accomplishing something I have limited control over. There is so much more in my life to focus on and bring me happiness.
  • xvxCelticWandererxvx
    xvxCelticWandererxvx Posts: 2,890 Member
    Options
    I believe in Karma.

    Everything happens for a reason.

    Take solice in that.

    ^^^ This! :smile: All the best to you OP!
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Options
    3. Don't cut your beautiful body just because seeing him brought out emotions. Scream, yell, cry, hit a pillow, then move on with your life. You have more to live for than the past! You have an awesome future out there just waiting for you!

    "Emotion cutting" is about knowing something is going to hurt, but looking at it anyway - not actual cutting!

    I'm feeling better this morning about the whole thing...I think it was just a bit of a shock and I can't always control the negative self-talk. Thanks for the encouraging words, everyone. :flowerforyou:

Categories