There's Always Gonna Be Another Mountain

MommaFreem

Hello,

My name is Danielle. I just started using this site a couple of days ago and have already lost a pound. Yay, me!

Currently, I am a stay at home Mom with a very energetic 19 month old. To be honest, it is sometimes difficult to keep up with her. In the past I have found myself lost in thoughts of worry over how I am influencing my daughter. This brings me to tears. Being a good role model for my daughter is extremely important to me as I did not have any good role models growing up.

My whole life up until I met my husband was about survival. Surviving the sexual and physical abuse, surviving the emotional abuse and in the end having the courage to put the perpetrator, my father, away. Because of this survival mode I was in, I used food unknowingly, as comfort. I didn't realize at the time that that was what I was doing. Years later, after having battled depression, I have realized that cycle that I was in. So fast forward 10 years later, 100 lbs heavier and here I am today.

I am no longer in this survival mode. Today I eat pretty decent and try to have food from all the food groups. I do struggle with, on occassion, a sweet tooth. But I can keep that under control most of the time. I do however have a hard time with motivation and exercise. I feel disgusted with myself when I say that because you're probably thinking, "shouldn't your daughter be enough motivation." And I think your right. But thinking it and doing it are two different things, especially when your body is constantly screaming at you that you are carrying to much weight, please get it off now! NOW, I WASN'T KIDDING!! Sigh.

I know that if I don't change now I am never going to change. And that is unexceptable. I have to break this cycle for me, for my daughter, for my husband, for my future children, for my life. I WANT TO LIVE!

I have a long road ahead of me. And there's always gonna be another mountain.


Thank you for reading my post,

Danielle

4lafz

Good for you - you have been through the hardest part of your life and the rest will be EASY! The motivation should be YOU first! You are worth it. Perhaps it is so YOU can enjoy your daughter growing up and grandchildren - but this needs to be about YOU being healthy and enjoying your life! I know that is a change! I exercise because if I don't, I do not get enough to EAT - and I love eating! It's the old basic saying - Calories In, Calories Out. Good luck to you!

PalomaRose

That's right! You have come a long way! Do it for YOU and for Nicky's future siblings. I understand your feelings about changing for your child.I think about that all the time now that we are thinking about having a baby.It is so important for me to try and establish good habits now before baby comes along.I just hope it's enough to keep me going strong.I know that "I"should be enough reason to change but somehow I never feel like a good enough reason.

MommaFreem

I so know what you mean.